Why I Think 'Kids' Under 16 Dating Should Not be Encouraged

[That_Indian_Girl]

Call me prude.

With the increase in dating culture, I've seen 13 y/o kids getting into relationships and falling in love. When I was 13, 'love' was what my parents and siblings did to me. While many may argue that the kind of relationships pre-teens have is not an actual one, I still argue that such relationships should also not be encouraged. Why?

1. They distract a lot of time.

This is a stage where most of their focus should be inclines towards getting good grades and learning new skills, so as to build a strong foundation for the future. If they indulge in finding a partner, the newly found excitement will take up most of their time.

2. 'Heartbreaks.'

I've seen 12 year olds posting statuses that 'I'm done with dating.' Seriously, what? They don't even know what being in a relationship means and they take up so much on their heart due to 'heartbreaks'. While this may seem cute for us, what effect does it have on their mind?

3. Peer pressure and complexes.

These kinda things happen in highschool. But they're gradually shifting to middle schools where kids are no more kids. This innocent age is being affected. Already having rich gadgets and looking like a model, if this being in a 'relationship' becomes a fad, what will happen?

4. They're simply too young.

You never know when they take a next step they aren't supposed to. With the reach of internet, they might end themselves in trouble.

This is what I've on the top of my mind currently. Give your views, what do you think?

[name_is_christian]

We are human, nothing more. None of us are perfect.
Kids are entering puberty earlier than they did fifty or even a hundred years ago. Today it is not uncommon to find a 13 year old claiming to be in love. They may not know all about love, but they learn along the way. Most start dating at 14 to 16 and that is ok. Again they learn what they want in a partner as they grow older.

[name_is_christian]

Thanks for the MHG

[Kitty_Cat16]

I strongly disagree you can try to tell a girl/boy not to date until a right age. If they find someone they want to be with they will ignore your rules and date him/her anyway. Of course everyone is gonna have some break their heart. It is how we all learn. Learn how to grow in a fast moving world.

[Kitty_Cat16]

Thank you for the MH

[TheOtakuMaid]

Allow me to start this off by stating I could bet money you are just reflecting what your parents or pastor or authority figure near you have said. there is no way in hell a 17-year-old can hold the same stance as a 45-year-old soccer mom Baptist Christian. without simply repeating what they hear.

now to start my rebuttal.

1. teens and kids are walking ADHD if it's not relationships or social standing distracting them its shiny key's fidget spinners and Pokemon cards. I would rather have them pre test driving relationships and complex social actions that will help them later than the former.

2. as you are a girl and was once 13 you probably lost your shit and cried a bunch over some shit boy band so I can tell you mellow drama happens anyway they will get over it.

3. oh im sorry I did not notice your title of GOD arbiter of morality. cut the innocence bullshit I knew more shit than you at 8 about the world than you do now. and multiply that by 1000 for my current age. I am an internet God and oh look never dated once still a virgin. *lewd as hell though* it's almost like your stance is biased somehow. that knowledge will "corrupt children's innocence and make them do naughty things they should not"
allow me to educate you. morality is subjective and unless you got a bigger stick than everyone else than you have zero right to force your subjective morality as if it's objective.

4, the only things that hold an objective age restriction are fire arms. voting. Alchohol, drugs, sex between adults, and driving. everything else is open to all.

I would be curious on your political stance and that of your family's and if you hold any allegiance to a certain religion as I feel this is not truly your opinion but simply a reflection of what is programed in you. though the amount of Hypocrisy and lack of self-awareness is that of a teenager. so I could be wrong and this truly your stance. in which case I would suggest buying a mirror you are 17 while that is one year above where you think dating should start. a bit funny it's not 18 not 17 but 16. which just so happens to be right below you. of course, you see your self-capable but not those one year below or two.

[That_Indian_Girl]

I get you. Although I'd clarify this is completely my own opinion and stance. You're free to disagree with it. Coming to why I feel it's 16, is because most people graduate highschool by that time and go to college at 17/18. Also no, it has nothing to do with the fact that I'm 17.

[TheOtakuMaid]

most don't graduate at 16? what country do you live in?

[TheOtakuMaid]

what brought you to your stance, however? you understand most people who hold, similar standing are either religious evangelicals or soccer moms

[metalsucks2]

@TheOtakuMaid
It's funny how you generalise and this is coming from an Atheist who shares the same stance as @That_Indian_Girl.

You liberals sure love using ad hominem attacks and straw man arguments.

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 not liberal a trump and Putin fan. also while it is a generalization I don't see many atheists giving statements on morality if they do they are an idiot

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 it's like firing an arrow into a bar. maybe not the most accurate but you're bound to hit something

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 also nice fucking Strawman by using the buzz word "Liberal" when just getting onto me about generalizing. if that was intentional bravo. if it was unintentional than even more so

[metalsucks2]

@TheOtakuMaid
The topic at hand has nothing to do with morality plus morality is not exclusive to religion. Morality predates religion.

You're a very close minded individual.

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 it has everything to do with morality allow me to quote her

"These kinda things happen in highschool. But they're gradually shifting to middle schools where kids are no more kids. This innocent age is being affected." and "You never know when they take a next step they aren't supposed to. With the reach of internet, they might end themselves in trouble."

both statements imply innocence exists and is morally good and that the internet is somehow evil

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 also i don't see Buddhists holding her stance. the stance she holds is very similar to a specific sect of a specific religion. which is why i asked her affiliation as it can show if her's is just a reflection purely of environment and programming, I ask out of curiosity sake.

the entire fucking discussion is on morality in the sense. Afterall there is no objective truth to either her's or mine. just opinion.

you may call me close minded yet any atheist or Deist worth their salt understands morality is subjective and holding a moral code or creed is like trying to hold water in your hand.

[metalsucks2]

You're not an Atheist so you have no authority on what Atheist believe or don't believe.

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 I am Deist. which are very very similar. I also understand what atheists believe even if I don't hold it as my position. that's like saying I can't speak on Roman history as I did not live it. THAT is close minded

[metalsucks2]

You can speak on Roman history if you studied.

Deist still believe in the existence of a god not just the one Abrahamic religions believe in. Atheists reject the existence of any good due to lack of evidence.

Also Atheists don't all believe in the same thing or have the same views, we are all different people, some are conservative some are liberal etc.

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 Furthermore atheism has no authority. it's simply stating there is no God on the grounds of no objective evidence. that's it. you don't seem to understand what an atheist is, do you?

a Deist is someone who believes a being created the universe giving it natural law's and does not interfere with it. so both lack a creed or worship. it's simply a difference in possible starting point or cause. nor does my position go against science. in fact some in quantum physics give credence to simulation theory.

neither have a "authority" or creed so i can speak on both

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 yes but objective morality only exists with God. if morality is man made in factually subjective. most atheists are skeptics and understand this. and yes while Deists think there is a God. the universe still works on its own in either account. our God does not interact or have anything to do with us. its just a explanation on the grounds of different reasons

[metalsucks2]

Thats exactly what I said in regards to Atheism. Im an Atheist after all you idiot.

Im done arguing with you. You clearly have your ego far up your arse and think you know it all.

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 if I don't give evidence to the contrary? you have offered nothing but opinion all this is. is opinion dip shit

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 and you see the ego part would be calling someone a liberal right away when not knowing anything about them. just after nagging them about generalization. well that is more Hypocrisy than something of vanity but both are just two branches of the same tree

[metalsucks2]

Still yapping are we?

[TheOtakuMaid]

@metalsucks2 still replying, are we? thought you were done?

[That_Indian_Girl]

@TheOtakuMaid and @metalsucks2 It's just my opinion. You're free to agree or disagree. Don't start religious debates.

[Deathcore_Rulez_D00d]

metalsucks is just saying that because he's jealous of all the guys and girls who got into relationships as teens and he wasn't able to.

Seriously every other week he posts a question asking why white girls don't like him and shit like that.

[Deathcore_Rulez_D00d]

He posts the question anonymously, but the speech patterns are way too similar and it's obviously him posting those questions.

[Youthfulbeauty]

Stupid MyTake

1. They distract a lot of time? So what? It's not like I'm only going to be thinking of school 24/7. I have to have fun too. Life isn't all about getting good grades.

2. "Heartbreaks". I had to lol at this one. Everything you do in life is going to have ups and downs. So you just go ahead and completely avoid doing anything that might cause problems? So you might as well not to do anything by that logic.

3. Peer pressure? WTF? Middle school kids have been dating for a long time.

4. So dating will cause them to commit crime? Ummm WTF did you get that from? Hanging out with the wrong crowd might also cause you to commit crimes, so going on that, you shouldn't have friends at all.

[404filenotfound]

I'd say that the more you try to discourage it, the more it's going to happen.

As far as things like distractions, heart break and peer pressure, they're going to happen anyway. As we reach adolescence, hormones start to get out of control and we have sexual thoughts and urges.

And I understand that they may seem too young as well, but these are the years that lay the foundation of their sexualities, what they want in a partner and who they are as a human being. They're experiences that they learn from and build on as they go through life.

[imbored2252]

people shouldn't be discouraged from showing that they like eachother. They are humans and are meant to show emotion. It might not work out a lot of the time, but in those instances that they do something good comes out of it. If it doesn't work then it simply doesn't, time heals them and they learn from their mistakes and become a better person. Why are you trying to shelter kids and tell them ''you shouldn't date at this age'' if two kids like eachother, they should not be forced not to date. If I have kids, Ill give them that luxury

[slutsdontgetoral]

Nice. My 14 year old daughter told me that she isn't going to date until she is in college. Her reason? She said she wasn't attracted to boys her age. Skinny, pimples, and goofy. (Her words) She said that she likes guys around 18-20 but for them to go out with her at her age was just creepy. Smart girl.

[AleDeEurope]

I disagree. I actually performed best in school when I had a girlfriend. Don't know if it was coincidence, but it happened.
I don't see anything wrong with dating before 16. I started at 11, and I turned out fine (for the most part ;P )

P. S.: I love the irony in Michelle Obama's quote. She's basically saying girls should drop boys so they can become something, but all Michelle is in life is just a wife. She earned nothing.

[jacquesvol]

Look it up: she's from a poor family and earned two big uni degrees.

[KatieB2017]

I feel like there's a certain level of maturity you have to possess when it comes to dating... Some people may have that at a young age, some may still not have it at a much greater age. I do think it's better to be older though... Learn all about yourself before you try to learn about someone else.

[lovelyhoneybones]

Relationships up until a certain age are pointless. Most don't even last longer than a year. When I see younger people getting into relationships, especially if they're under the age of 16, I give them a few months before it's over. My cousin who's turning 15 in September has had a countless amount of girlfriends, and this was all within a few months. They just don't work out. Relationships aren't something you get into because you can. They take work and parts of you.

Though I disagree with the heartbreak point of view, because those occur no matter what age you are, it is rather ridiculous for a 12 year old to say they're through with dating. It was never anything serious in the first place.

[Prettygurl12]

My parents said I could start dating whenever I wanted. They just wouldn't drive me on my dates/to his house, pay for my dates, or allow him over.

But hey, I could date him if I wanted to :p

This essentially made me only able to date once I was employed and had a vehicle. So...16.

[DonkeyRick69]

It is a bit young. What I don't get is why people think is ok for under 18's or underage kids to have sex but only with those of the same age. My country has the right idea once you turn 16 sex is legal and so is marraige with any age but under 16 it's all illegal.

[AaronTupaz]

It's part of growing up. Everyone has different needs at different stages of life. We can do our best to guide and educate them, but they should have the freedom to date and learn from their mistakes. There are some rare cases we're childhood or teen dating/romance leads to a more long term one at adulthood.

[creepypanda]

Here's my situation:
I'm under 16. I'm dual-enrolled at both college and high school. On a daily basis, I'm told to think and act as an adult, because soon we'll be going off to campus. I'm dating a guy who's sweet as sugar. He's got a job. We constantly message each other about schoolwork and helping each other out. I took chemistry and algebra 2 last year, which he will be taking this year. I take pre-calc and physics this year. We both agreed we won't say we love each other until we know for sure, we've never even kissed, and we're both close with each others families. In the world I've come to know, kids are pressured to act older so often that their minds start to trick them into thinking they are older as well. If you tell me to perform at a college level, I'm going to start to think like a 20 year old as well.

[Miyuki28]

It's better to get 'heartbroken' when grades don't count as much. Also most girls' menstruation comes much earlier than a few years ago, so it's probably natural.

Also children see much more of the world nowadays, and get more use of it. They know more at the age of 13 than we knew at that age.

I think we should teach kids how to be clever in a relationship, because if we forbid it they'll still do it, only in secret, which isn't any better.

[Bezbozhnikustanka]

Puberty comes early because kids eat more, ration food so they don't hit puberty till 16, or, you could inject them with hormones, either way, you shouldn't go through puberty when you're still a child.

[WildStarMagic]

@Bezbozhnikustanka Or you could use food that is organic and hasn't had chemicals added through fertilisers, herbicides, pesticides or anti-biotics or extra nutrients and growth hormones.

[John_McStarrison]

I don't think it's ever good to force people to suppress their feelings. If two teens are attracted o each other and want to date, let them have a go, maybe it'll work out and maybe it won't. At the very least, its experience in a relationship, and it could turn out to be something special.

[0112358]

I disagree. While kids that age shouldn't be having sex, I don't think them learning to negotiate some of the feelings and complexities of relationships is a bad thing. Especially given relationships at later ages tend to be much more serious fast, getting some experience in lighter relationships isn't a bad idea imho.

[DanoMR98]

>Is seventeen
>says people under 16 are the problem

You basically picked your age and then discouraged it for every age under you.

I'm almost 19 and I've never had a girlfriend before. DEVELOP SOCIAL SKILLS, KIDS. DON'T END UP AN INCEL LIKE DanoMR98!!!

[missgatsby]

I think that your points are really good. I think that this growing culture of sexualization at young ages is disgusting. The fact that so many people adamantly disagree with that is concerning.

[NatalieIsHere]

Well, I'm 15 in little more than one month and I've been with my boyfriend for almost 6 months now. Even if we break up tomorrow I won't think all the time we spent together was wasted. We really like each other and expect to stay together for a long time.

[BrittBratt2416]

I agree, a lot of teens are too obsessed with dating and sex now instead focusing on school. We have teen girls growing up to be teenage moms when they should be enjoying their youth, having fun, and learning as well as planning for their future. A lot people I saw date in high school aren't even together anymore and often didn't last more than a week. Then what you know, their with someone else.. it's just teenage drama.

[TooskilledforU]

Agreed, when someone is under 18, they should not be participating in anything like that (simple and friendly boyfriend/girlfriend stuff is fine, but nothing more serious), someone is 18, they can go crazy if they want. My views might be slightly skewed since I am Catholic and don't believe in sex until marriage. Under 18 is way to young for any serious romantic behavior in my opinion, they are still classified as a kid.