Young Girls: 3 Things You Must Consider Before Dating an Older Guy


I often see young girls stating that they prefer older men. And there's nothing wrong with that, we all like what we like. I totally understand where they're coming from, since some (albeit not all) older men have what younger guys lack, and what girls find attractive: experience, stability, maturity, etc. However, there are 3 things you must consider before jumping into a relationship with one, unless you want to be used and left with a broken heart. (Please note that I'm not writing this take to bash older men, as everyone is different, and there's lots of both great and shitty people among all ages. Besides, I'm currently in a relationship with someone who's older myself.)

1. Is he in it just because you're young and beautiful?

It is hardly a secret that guys prefer girls around their age or younger (and girls prefer guys around their age or older). Of course it's a generalisation, and there're exceptions to his rule, but in a grand scheme of things this statement is more or less true. But then there are also shallow men who only want young and beautiful women. You will not a person to him, you will be his trophy and sex toy. He will feel proud of "landing" an eye candy like you. Dating someone young and beautiful will stroke his ego. Don't set yourself up for such treatment, you have to really ask yourself whether he likes you for your personality, or just your exterior. People would usually want to date someone similar to them, if you have nothing in common, chances are he's just using you.

Young Girls: 3 Things You Must Consider Before Dating an Older Guy

2. Does he only pursue you because you're inexperienced?

It all boils down to "everyone wants to date someone who is similar to them" once again. If there's a big age gap between you, not only your interests may differ, you may simply be not mature enough for him. Of course there are very mature young people and extremely immature adults, but this is a rare occurrence, and usually you and him will simply be on very different levels when it comes to maturity. As smart as you may think you are, if you are young, you lack experience and are probably easy to manipulate. If you know that you two are at different stages of maturity, a guy and yet he still pursues you, stay away from him, expecially if he can't get any women of his age to date him. They probably avoid him for a reason.

Young Girls: 3 Things You Must Consider Before Dating an Older Guy

3. Do you two share the same values?

You may want a romantic relationship with someone who loves and adores you, while he may be tired of the whole relatonship game and just looking for a hook up. He may be old and mature enough to want to start a family and have kids, while you would prefer to enjoy your best years without such responsibilities. Or maybe you do want kids, and he thinks he went that long without a family and kids, so no reason for him to have them now. His generation may have a different outlook on things than your generation does. In short, there are many possible options, so you have to make sure you two match when it comes to this.

To conclude, not everyone is nice as they seem, There will be people who are only out there to use you and hurt you, but that's not a reason to deprive yourself of various experiences. Go out and make mistakes, life is not always going to be smooth and drama-free, just remember that it's up to you be careful and look out for yourself, because sometimes nobody else except you will. Good luck! :)

Young Girls: 3 Things You Must Consider Before Dating an Older Guy

Young Girls: 3 Things You Must Consider Before Dating an Older Guy
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Most Helpful Girl

  • xHoneyxBeex
    Good take :) I think all of these are very important things to take into consideration when getting into a relationship with someone in general though, regardless of age. Especially the values part. It's important to have shared values and things in common.
    Like 7 People
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Most Helpful Guy

  • jacquesvol
    4. You aren't in the same phase of your life: different means, liberties, responsibilities, health.
    Can you both cope and continue to cope with ALL these differences (and everything it means-a lot thus) ?
    Like 10 People
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What Girls & Guys Said

  • wingattebaby16
    It always REALLY bugs me when Mytakes and serious Questions are written anonymously!

    I think it is an easy cop out to post anonymously, especially if you are posting subjects that can cause contraversy.

    I have and am willing to take hits when people disagree with what I say. If I don't like it, i ignore the complainers and dont write a rebuttal as i know i can't change their minds.

    I get arguments over this posting coz i do date an older guy. I have gone through all these arguments with him, our friends, my family, and GAGers galore on here.

    Plus I have blocked some peeps over my views on the Emperor of the Socialist States of America, and the bozos running for president in both parties. I admit i am a young person that can think for herself. I got A's all through high school and always argued with our teachers when they tried to spoon feed me "s**t" about America and our culture that was just a bunch of Political Correctness b. s.

    I admit I watch Fox news, read The Blaze, and like Glenn Beck! I think guns dont kill people, people kill people!

    I was involved in student government in high school and I use my brain. I like reading History and most of the nonsense today in our country could be stopped if people elected to office would go back to the fundamental values this country was built on!

    I still think Ronald Reagan was the best president of the latter part of the 20th century, even though i wasn't even born yet! Heck, I think he was right up their with Lincoln and Washington!

    Other countries don't tolerate Illegal immigrants. They arrest and deport them!

    If our government was a business, it would be bankrupt before it opened it's doors. Why do we give money away to other countries when our own people are starving, homeless, and poor? Then you hear how we owe China so much money and Obama keeps throwing money away on who knows what?

    Sorry I ranted! I just think people should be responsible for what they say and do. Hiding behind "anonymous" just says it is easy to avoid conflict.
    • thesosopie

      You really don't like anonymous people i see. I mean some people do because they don't want people to bug them or know it is was them.

    • lumos

      People have the right to post anonymously which is why we have this feature on the site. People don't always post anonymously because they're cowards. Some might just prefer the anonymity because they don't want people messaging them or following them around on the site, even if it doesn't happen in a harassing manner.
      This take was hardly controversial, it's common sense to think twice about dating someone who's so different from you.
      The anonymous feature is not going anywhere, so ranting about it won't do anything. Instead of making irrelevant rants, you should stick to posting opinions and comments that are actually relevant to the topic/discussion at hand.

  • bluenose1872
    Yeah back to old argument that men are all pigs who want one thing. My dad was 12 years older than my mum and they were happily married till the day he died. I get the impression women who put this stuff out there are just jealous of women who can't do things they can't. You'll never get a more spiteful and hateful creature than a woman who doesn't get what she wants. They counter attack by spreading their venom like a cancer. Feminists I mean. Most of them are ugly boots who got left on the shelf. They get older and younger naive women mistake their spite for wisdom and poison the next generation into hating men. We formed the UN to abolish that kind of orchestrated hate towards a race or gender. Why the hell are we encouraging it now? If a woman wants an older man then it's her choice. If he's a prick then it's just another learning experience. That's life. Let people make their own mistakes. If it doesn't kill you it makes you stronger. We'll end up with a world full of people fretting over every fucking thing out there and never living properly
    LikeDisagree 4 People
  • ccp16
    Also, if you get married, later in life you guys will run into some walls... my mom is 8 years younger than my dad which is not huge, but through most of his 40s he was starting to want to relax more (he works on his feet all day) and she was still wanting to go out and had more energy- lots of fights and hurt feelings. at least now she is in the same boat as him lol
  • godfatherfan
    You have 3 points that all say the same thing.
    my sister married someone that was about 35 years older then her.
    while I think the guy is a supreme asshole, she was happy, until the divorce.
    but she still sings in a karaoke band with him, so...
    • qr3afsvfx

      1 and 2 are a little similar, but wouldn't say they're the same.

  • MrEMann
    I always think of longevity. I expect a potential relationship to last. Too large of an age gap is not fair to the younger of the couple, especially if you are not building a future for after you are gone. Example; I am a 45 year old man. Is it right of me to date and possibly fall in love with a 20 year old girl? When she is 40, I will be 65. She still has a lot of good years ahead of her to likely face alone. Even if I leave her with a way to support herself when I'm gone, she still has a lot of road to walk alone possibly. Sure, she can find love again maybe, but her youth is also behind her. I just think it irresponsible to a girl for me to allow this. Yes, I can possibly find a girl with the right mindset and matching values and such, but doesn't she deserve a fair chance at a future with a spouse to grow old "with"? If I had a daughter, I would hate to see her fall for a guy too far outa her range. I sure don't wanna rob someone else's kid. Just my opinion.
    Like 3 People
  • LittleAnnabelle
    I really liked this especially since I do like older guys even though I've never dated one
    Like 3 People
  • Aeon_Flux_21
    1. Is he in it just because you're young and beautiful? Yes.
    2. Does he only pursue you because you're inexperienced? Most men don't care if you're experienced.
    3. Do you two share the same values? Most people don't care about each others values unless it's something really crazy.
  • lumos
    Here's another thing to think about: there's a possibility that he's living two different lives. He might already have a wife and kids. My friend sort of dated an older guy in the past, and it turned out he had a pregnant wife. She found out just after the wife had given birth. The guy had completely covered it up. He was the typical charming, confident, sweet-talking man. Too good to be true. He then ended up showing his true colors (he was aggressive and kind of dangerous) but thankfully my friend made it out of that situation safely.
    Like 2 People
  • sweetkiss99
    Older men a topic I know too well..
    I think the "sex object" topic in #1 should have its own number. Its just so much to elaborate on that. #1 is titled wrong."Is he with you because you're "young and beautiful'" sounds flattering. What girl doesn't want to hear that. Or know that she is seen as beautiful by a man. Another.. He won't respect your views/ opinions as a woman, due to the lack of experience. #2 was the most consistent one. The manipulation is their #1 tool. Her nieveness and lack of experience, is what they prey on. Sweet talk, compliments, promises, gifts aids, them in their manipulation. Also she needs to beaware that she will not be 'his only". There will be other women young and old. So be prepared for that bomb.
    Like 1 Person
    • I also agree with @lumos. "Living a double life" that's too real. A lot of them are married with kids, and just toying around. Also.. They will make most of the conversations about the girl. And speak less on his personal life. If asked they will give short, simple responces then change subjects.

    • lumos

      I agree, young girls should be careful around older men, and do their research on him.

  • Pinkbeauty
    I used to guys online who were older then me but I had a difficulty with older guys because they weren't nice to me but if I was dating guys again it would be guys young as 22-23 21 20 or 19 maybe
  • WalterRadio
    I know happy couples of 12, 20, and even 30 years age difference.

    One can make the arguments why young women should avoid young men about their age:

    Young men are inexperienced themselves and cannot help you with your own goals.
    Young men are often broke.
    Young men are happy to hook up with you tonight and some other girl tomorrow.
    Young men are selfish, especially in bed.
    Young men are immature, playing video games and with their little friends.
    Young men often want you to help pay for the date.
    Young men kiss and tell.

    So before you, as a young woman, decide to become involved with a young man about your age, consider these serious downsides.
    LikeDisagree 2 People
    • And I could make a list of reasons why you shouldn't date young women. Really, when older men talk badly about younger men saying women shouldn't date them it just sounds like you're trying to get young women for yourself.

    • @RachelBrigs
      I do date younger women. My girlfriend right now is 20, I am over 40. Everyone has his or her own preference. I date younger women who prefer older men. They are happy, I am happy.

    • I'm not saying you can't date young women I'm just saying that there's absolutely nothing wrong with a girl dating a younger guy her age. Don't say 20 yr old girls shouldn't date 20something guys because you want young girls..

  • bustas
    you forgot to explain about age gap , is a a guy who only 1 year older included on this
    anyway , good take , especially number 2 , very true , i had seen that on real life , A LOT..
    Disagree 1 Person
  • Pink2000
    I'd like to see this from a guys perspective. This was great
    Like 1 Person
    • Bluemax

      You mean about a younger guy dating an older woman?

    • SonicDare

      @Bluemax or perhaps the POV of the older man in the relationship?

    • Bluemax

      I see. I wouldn't know, personally. I have one friend who is my age who dates women who are literally young enough to be his daughter. However, he only dates them (which is a euphemism).

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  • RichardTheFrog
    There is no hiding the fact that younger girls are hotter...
    LikeDisagree 7 People
  • zagor
    The couples in these pictures look to be similar ages.
    Like 2 People
    • Stacyzee

      Yea it's just the women fixed themselves up so they look youthful while the men just let themselves gray (didn't try to conceal it)

  • oddwaffle
    The golden rule is half your age plus 7 or 8. I'm 32 so I can date someone around 25 and still within the same reach. If I was 50 then 33 would me closer to my age.

    1/ true but this also applies to young men. When I was young, I heard from my buddies that some guys would parade about his "conquests" to his buddies. In fact, young men tend to stroke their ego more because they are young and hot blooded.

    2/ again also applies to young men. Generally, once a man wants to manipulate a girl, he's going to try and do it regardless of his age. Old men tend to be more successful but younger guys can be pretty dangerous.

    3/ true. A lot of men in his late 20s to 30s would prefer to do away with the meet and greet and get down to business. However, they are also at an age to settle down. They are more likely going to be susceptible to long term relationship than younger guys.
  • po99156
    I am in my 60's and had two dates with a very pretty woman in her 40's. The problem was we spoke different languages; she had no grasp of history; we liked different music. Kids probably would not have been an issue as I did not want any, having had two and I don't think she did either. We parted on friendly ways.

    On the other hand I dated a woman 14 years my junior and loved her madly; we fought like cats and dogs, both having personalities at times abrasive. Secondarily, we are both very fit and active but she even more so than I and it is possible her Sunday bike rides while I was puttering around the house may have made a difference.

    Too much of an age gap (relative to ages of both) is tough and I don't think, survivable but anyone I knew who was going to try would certainly have my support.
    Like 2 People
    • cristiana

      do you feel attracted to women your own age? it scares that men will only want the younger ones!

  • godownliketreysn
    have you guys seen the visit like when you say old people thats what i think of now
  • BackInGame
    Is he hot? Y/N? IF yes fuck him, if not find a hot guy and fuck him.
    Disagree 1 Person
  • VictoriousSausage
    fantastic take
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