You Need To Have High Standards for Yourself

[amandaschwartz]

Over the past few years, I have been told by numerous ex partners that my standards are "too" high. This was often said when I would ask for a certain level of respect, or when I asked for things to be done a certain way. I would hear it most often, when I would attempt to bring to light the undefined potential that my partner had. It seemed that no matter what my expectations were, they were too much to bare according to the lovers of my past.

So although it took me a long time to find my current fiance... here are some thought provoking points as to why you need to have high standards for yourself.

1. If you don't believe in you, why should anyone else?

If you feel that you are not worth to have someone in your life capable and willing to love you to your fullest potential, respecting you and doing the small things- then you will allow people of a certain nature in. These people will stick around for the good times, or do just the right amount to get by, but you're selling yourself short.

2. People will treat you the way you allow them

If you let people walk all over you, then they will. It depends on you. The higher your self value, and standards the less likely you will allow toxic people into your life. I've been here before.

3. Why settle?

Billions of fish in the sea, why settle for someone that is "ok", when you can find someone to put a smile on your face everyday and make you truly happy. Instead of lowering your standards, hold your head high and you'll find the perfect person for you.

[Anonymous]

"I would ask for a certain level of respect"

"I asked for things to be done a certain way"

"I would attempt to bring to light the undefined potential that my partner had"

You are THAT woman. You have painted a very clear picture of yourself here at GAG with this MyTake and many others in recent weeks, and it is crystal clear that you are a very entitled and super high maintenance woman. It doesn't surprise anyone to hear of your "numerous ex partners" over the last few years. I predict a lot more of those in your future.

Ladies, if you want a model for how to be the woman that men avoid like the plague, you need look no further. You just need to search the MyTake history for one particular author.

[btbc92]

I think you're going a little off the bandwagon on this one. While I don't agree with most myTakes the author have written if i remember correctly, what you highlighted is not a sign of super high maintenance or entitlement. If the guys said what they said about her, it holds no barrings over what she said but how she carries herself. If she was sexually active with them, naturally with that mindset and attitude they would say that because she's not meeting up that expectation in that way. There is nothing wrong from what I see what you highlighted again. If they run, and she did right, then they weren't right for her. They only wanted sex. Now if she gave it, from what I hope I can remember, then I can't judge the guys for this. But she does have an overall point. If you want a pump and dump, which sounds like what you're asking for, then by all means, keep doing what your doing. Plus, you weren't really paying attention. She has a fiance. So unless he bounces, he's still around.

[Anonymous]

agree

[MackFreeze]

I think you should have standards for other people, but you need to be up to those same standards as well.

Don't look for a fish as they say, instead. Look for a pearl that is set apart from the rest. That is priceless and has beauty on the inside that is infinite! Looking for a pearl requires the right person, requires work to find one and training! Would you rather have 1000 fish or one pearl?

[metalsucks2]

It's because of people like you is the reason I am a virgin.

High standards = Some men will never ever get laid

Since I don't meet the high standards women place on men (six pack abs, height, penis size, race etc) I will remain a virgin.

[Vyxzuw]

That's assuming she meant standards in appearance and not standards in personality.

She did say that she expected a certain amount of respect, and also people not acting in certain ways.

[Anonymous]

I see it as, if you can't meet the standards you set out for your love interest. You aren't good enough for such a person.

Fat people should't expect skinny/healthy bodied partners. Someone can't expect a partner to have a great job if their own job sucks. Someone can't be a 6 demanding to go out with 8+

You can TRY but you won't succeed most of the time.

[404filenotfound]

I'd agree that we should have high standards for ourselves. I also believe that the standards that we set for ourselves and for other people should be the same.

[Unit1]

This goes both ways actually.
And these listed criteria are hardly high standards. I would call them the healthy minimum required for a healthy and functioning relationship.

[Lman3000]

Funny everyone on this site tells me No don't go for high standards you can't it's impossible people give weird advice on this site

[John_Doesnt]

I only date hot chicks because I'm so awesome and sexy.

[jacquesvol]

If I had set lower standards I'd have had 3 times ss much sex in HS and college

[zagor]

What exactly do you mean by "asking for a certain level of respect". Putting the toilet seat down?

[CHRISENSIO]

Hypothetically speaking, what if that okay person makes you feel good and puts a smile on your face?

[Hemlock]

Nice take.

[Distants]

Great my take!