Hello everyone. Hope you all are doing well. I'm in a good mood today and want to write about something I've been working on lately. Some of it is necessary and I needed to do a long time ago, other parts of it are kind of 'shallow' so feel free to get offended lol.
This will be about how I've decided to raise my standards and get higher standards and expectations for myself. I don't care anymore about what other people think I deserve, I care about what I deserve at this point. And the harder I work, the more I feel like I deserve better.
I've been unfair to myself all this time, letting people in my life walk all over me ever since I was a little girl. Letting people use me and then leave me when I thought they were my friends. Chasing a guy that wasn't worth it at all. That all ends now.
Yes I'm aware this take is more how I have high standards but that doesn't sound like a good title so just ignore that part.
1. I cut off all of my toxic friends
I would always say 'okay maybe they didn't mean to insult how I look like that' 'okay maybe I need to be more patient and give them the benefit of the doubt' 'okay but people told me I'm crazy and that person is too innocent to be rude to people' 'okay but this and that and this and that ' yeah i have had enough of that.
I have gotten rid of every toxic person I know in my personal life, I blocked them online and offline. I'm done giving people many chances, helping them regardless, letting them be rude to me and treating me like shit. Some of these people have apologized and we are good, but I would never hang out with them like a friend as I used to. I'm going to keep them at a distance. I have a new standard for friendship and that is I'll keep everyone an acquaintance until they prove that they respect me and it will certainly be mutual after that.
2. I will no longer chase certain men
I've had enough of chasing certain guys who would ghost me, walk away from me, be rude to me, never talk to me unless they see me talking to a more attractive female, projected their insecurities onto me as an excuse to why they rejected me when in reality it wasn't about me. It was about them.
I'm not back in the dating world and not really interested in returning anytime soon. However, I'm just not going to approach any guy from now on unless we are at least friends and know each other on some level. And that I'm sure they aren't the opposite of what I would have expected them to be, because that's happened before.
I've also changed in a way my standards of what I find attractive, I mean I still like most body types, height and looks. But I've developed a preference. Something that I've been repressing because I thought I deserved less because apparently that's what the world told me, that I shouldn't aim high because I don't deserve it. But it's my time to say I deserve what I work hard for and I'm entitled to whatever I think is good enough for me. These are my standards and from now on nobody will tell me what I should want instead of what I do want.
3. I will never settle for less ever again
I used to be so hard on myself I'd say 'yeah i don't deserve to flirt with that guy, I'm too ugly and ugly girls don't deserve that' or 'that person is more well liked that me they deserve this more than I do' or 'no one likes me I shouldn't do this'. Yeah that's just pitiful, sad and weak. I can't believe I ever had this mentality. That's no longer something I'll be doing. I will always aim high in my goals and my personal life whether that be studies, work, friendships, dating and money. I'll aim for whatever I want and I'll work so hard that I'll get it. I deserve what I say I deserve. That's something I needed to tell myself over and over, that I'm worthy enough and don't deserve to get told what I should want or that I'm not good enough for a certain thing.
4. I may reject a man if I ever get approached
I've never been approached before. In a previous take I said I'll give a guy a chance if he ever approached me, this depending on the guy and his intentions and his personality most likely I would give him a chance. However, if he is a jerk or has something that I don't like, if I want to I can reject him. The old me would've said 'no I wouldn't I'll take what I can get'. The me right now says 'I'll take what I like and deserve'. I'm not a girl who is lucky in dating, I'll admit that. But that doesn't mean I don't have the right to choose and to reject guys if they are shitty people especially. Not just dating, but even friendships. If a person is rude to me I'm just no longer going to talk to them if I wasn't at fault. I'd always hang out with people who hurt me and never tell them 'no that's not okay don't do that shit' but from now on, I will.
5. I will do what's best for myself first
At the end of the day, humans care about themselves first. I'm not saying I'm going to be extremely selfish, I'm saying I'm going to be a little more self involved, if that makes sense. For example if someone wants me to help them and I don't have the time, I used to help them regardless and not think about how I'm wasting my time helping someone. If that someone is a friend, I'll do it for them. However I used to do this to people that hated me, used me and treated me like shit yet asked for my help with studying or something else. I will no longer be doing that. The world is ruthless. I'm going to be more honest and put myself first. I don't care if those people will think I'm a bad person for it, all I know is I'm the most important person to myself. If I don't put myself first, who will? If I decide to hate myself and treat myself badly, why would anyone even respect me or treat me well?
This take is all over the place but I needed to write it, I'm a human being with rights and if I feel like I want something or deserve it, from now on I'll work hard towards it and take it. And won't accept anything that I feel is beneath me.
Have a good one!