Men, Here Are 5 Red Flags You Should Look Out for When Dating a Woman

[elisa_0]

Women are the ones who are told the "tips & tricks" on how to get a good man, but men are only told to get a "pretty girl" and that's it. Most men actually go by women's looks as a way to know whether she'll be a good partner or not. Men rely on trial & error in relationships. But this is something that will not last and may not make you happy in the long run, and may even make you feel like relationships are not your thing. The thing is, you need to look out for red flags when choosing who you want to be with.

[I'm writing this Take because of my male best friend, who has been facing a lot of abuse by his current wife. I don't blame him one bit, but there are a lot of guys in this situation who need some sort of guidance on the dating field.]

❤️ Anyway let's start.

Red Flag #1: She focuses more on her phone than you.

If a woman pays more attention to her phone than the date, then you're probably going to be very annoyed by her a lot as your relationship progresses. She'll be a source of frustration for you. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, this girl is not it.

This girl is the type to behave as if you have to pay attention to her but she can do anything she wants, she can be distracted at any time and you have to accept it. An absolute nope.

Red Flag #2: She always blames you or justifies her wrongdoings

If the woman you're interested in always finds a sneaky way to justify what she does or says, even if it's a "white lie", you are a lot more likely to find her doing worse stuff behind your back. These types of girls are backstabbers and always think that everything they do is okay and correct. Honor your integrity and find somebody humble and honest.

This type of girl always finds a way to act like she's right and you're wrong, no matter what. She will gaslight you and make you believe that you're just being too exaggerated or controlling, even if you're not... This is just her way of making you feel bad and making you accept her misbehavior.

Red Flag #3: She treats you like an ATM Machine

Seriously, it can be very sweet if you want to buy her stuff out of your own will but when you start to feel like she's using you for your money and expecting you to pay at all times, then you have to stand up for yourself and tell her to take several seats. Being in a relationship with you does not give her the right to suck the $$ out of you.

Red Flag #4: She's a Daddy's Girl

A lot of people will say that if a girl doesn’t have a good father figure, that she's more likely to be slutty or promiscuous, but it is actually the daddy's girl you need to stay away from. Daddy's Girls expect men to bow at their feet, providing them with everything they desire at any cost. This used to be honorable in the middle ages, for men to do anything for women, but today this is called being the victim of a narcissist. Daddy's Girls are very spoiled, they don't expect you to ask anything from them, and you need to 100% accept her as she is, BUT she can demand anything from you. Not a great deal in my opinion.

Daddy's Girls are also the type to think, "I'm a girl, so I can treat you like shit but you have to respect me, because I'm such a princess." (I literally met a girl who said something along those lines, AND she was completely serious about it.). They expect a fairytale out of your relationship with her. This type of girl lives in a dreamland.

Red Flag #5: She's too conservative or too feminist

Women who are overly conservative will always act like they're a damsel in distress and even though you may find this charming at first, there'll be a time when you'll start to get annoyed by it and will want her to act like a real person for once, rather than a helpless and dumb barbie doll.

And women who are overly feminist will always find a way to make you believe that you're just trying to control her, or that she's somehow oppressed, and that you're just being a misogynistic a$%hole even if you aren't... This will make you lose your self-worth over time and when you least expect it you'll become an insecure doormat with no self-esteem left.

Thank you for reading this random Take. Just wanted to share my thoughts.

Stay awesome 💕💕

-Elisa

[Anonymous]

Thanks for writing this. I typically agree with your opinions here at GAG, and I agree with most of what you've written here as well. However, I disagree with you on a few things.

"Most men actually go by women's looks as a way to know whether she'll be a good partner or not." This is not really true. Yes, men are generally more drawn to women who are physically attractive, but to say it's the only thing we rely on to determine whether a woman will make a good partner is kind of silly. Please, give us a little more credit than that. We are smarter and more savvy than you seem to believe. This is just a tired old stereotype that does men a disservice.

"Women who are overly conservative will always act like they're a damsel in distress". Again, not true. I mean I'm sure it is true of some, but not most. I happen to live in the most conservative state in the US and I know and work with a lot of VERY conservative women (and men). Most of those women are intelligent, strong and capable, and they don't play the damsel in distress game. That's not what conservatism is about, despite the picture feminists try to pain for us. This is another stereotype that doesn't usually hold true.

I agree more with your characterization of overly feminist women, although I have known some who do not fit that mold, so the term always doesn't apply here either.

I am in agreement with the rest. Thanks again for writing this. Well done.

[elisa_0]

Thank you for this wonderful feedback

[Opinion Owner]

Thank YOU for writing this. It is very well done and I always appreciate the things you write.

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you Ms elisa_0 for MHO. Keep up the good work!

[Unit1]

"Red Flag #1: She focuses more on her phone than you."

Yes! This is absolutely inexcusable! I had women ghost me because they asked me for my instagram and I told them, that I don't have these but I'm reachable in Discord for example.

"Red Flag #2: She always blames you or justifies her wrongdoings"

Ugh. I had that happening before. Also inexcusable! F! Be responsible for money's sake!

"Red Flag #3: She treats you like an ATM Machine"

Ah, yes, the gold diggers and those pesky harpies, who use men for free meals (and they are disgusted at splitting me bill) and then fly away to their next victim. Hard pass. They can go find a sugar daddy and be used for what they are. I rather pay for PornHub premium and watch Lelu Love or Stella Cox.

"Red Flag #4: She's a Daddy's Girl"

Welp! They can go find a simp to treat like trash.

"Red Flag #5: She's too conservative or too feminist"

Extremes of both sides are repulsive, I agree. Either of these girls will generate drama.

[Unit1]

Thanks for the most helpful opinion :D

[ManOnFire]

No.2 and 3 were my ex through the roof. Dear God. I am so glad that woman is no longer in my life.

Excellent Take. A lot of women should definitely be reading this too.

[ChurchOfSteel]

I've had a lot of issues with my girl pointing the finger at me, even when it's something that's totally her fault. For instance, we were coming out of the gym the other day, and she opens up my car door straight into this other guy's car. I'm strong, for my size. 5'10, 150 pounds (178cm/68kg), with a bench press of 240 pounds (108kg). But this dude was a monster. I'm talkin' like an albino gorilla. So, he's in the car as she does this. He looks like he's about to go off, so I stare him right in the eyes like "Come on man, you gonna make a big deal out of a little door ding?" He opens his car door; my girl says "There aren't any marks". So, this dude goes "Okay."

On the way home, I'm like "What happened there?" The very first word out of her mouth is "You", followed by "parked too close to the car, so I hit it." Umm, no. You had control over the door; legally, you fucked up. I stopped her right there. "I very much like you, as noted by the fact of me moving in with you; however, I don't like it when the first word out of your mouth when you do something wrong is 'well, it's because YOU'. That shit ain't gonna fly. You had control of the door. You opened it into an albino gorilla's car. You dinged it. As for my parking, I did a pretty damn good job considering how close the spots are to each other, did I not" (she nods)."

Anyway, I consistently see this in a lot of other areas, too. She also tends to devalue the good things I do. I cleaned the fuck out of the apartment yesterday. Worked all day long. She is working on a Masters degree, and is also a teacher full time. Needless to say, busy schedule. I only go full time college, so I have more time. To sharpen my discipline, I decided to start making damn sure my environment is conducive to productivity. So I cleaned. For 8 hours. The place is spotless. The first words out of her mouth when she walks in is, "Wow, it's really cluttered in here, but somehow still feels clean."

There are like 4 papers on the desk, next to a spotless apartment...

I'm like... okay, whatever, long day, long drive. So, she goes to class; and, I make hamburgers for us. First words out of her mouth when she gets done with class? "Wow, look how terrible these French fries were cooked." (they're fine) Not a single comment on any of the frankly awesome positive things, only notices the worst parts of everything.

I've had a lot of complaints with her over the past few months, but this is starting to push it. So, I suppose I would add, "Is unappreciative/ungrateful of the good things you do/Only notices the bad things."

[elisa_0]

No offense but she sounds like a nightmare. I urge you to rethink this relationship

[ObscuredBeyond]

She expects you to solve problems for her that she herself could have easily solved, just by having a minute sense of responsibility and maturity. And when your solution is too embarrassing for her, shows ingratitude for your effort. When proofreading her college class English paper leads to you needing to 98% rewrite the entire thing, and she blows up at you, instead of admitting that she should've paid more attention in high school. When she's still very clingy to her mom, 24 but acts like she's 12. And while I've met a few of those projecting straw feminist psychos and do detest them, the "too conservative" may be the wrong word. Depending on context, it can also refer to redneck/hillbilly stereotype women. I'm not overly concerned about such women being useless. I am concerned, that she'll be too shallow regarding which life skills make a man worth her time. That no matter how good I am at designing toys or buildings , I'll be treated like garbage by her unless I can down a Jello Shot or field dress a deer better than she can.

[MannMitAntworten]

Number 5... I have dated the very conservative. They are not remotely “damsels” nor in “distress”. If anything, they are what feminist wish they could be... pretty damn self reliant. Perhaps the contrast exist within “city” versus “Country” women. In general I tend to avoid city girls... not my sort regardless of political leanings. Country women by contrast tend be be a lot more of a tough and prideful lot about being able to get shit done... including building their own house. So must at least partially disagree with number 5.


As for “feminist” women, the only ones who seem to be really pains in the asses hate men as a practice so it is not like men would have an opportunity to date one anyway.


With regard to 1 through 4, never been a problem I have encountered while dating. Not once. I know it exist, just has not been for me. What is funny is having been on a few first dates with women who had a preset “emergency call” incase they wanted to bail on the date - they actually shared they did this... then text their friend to not bother calling because they were enjoying themselves. I have never experienced the emergency call/text that ended a date early either.

[codydevan88]

not too shabby. some additional advice. download that sugardaddy app and see if she's on there. if so you can skip merrily along. i do disagree with the damsel in distress part. and the atm part. conservative women i know are only like that from time to time. most i know are multitudes tougher than any feminists because feminists are all talk. as for spending money on her its a great trial way to see if she responds with proper duty in the exchange of power between a man and woman. but i suppose that may differ between different financial situations. complete independence in both parties may seem nice at first. until you lose you're job and she leaves you. its better to express you are willing to be a provider to an extent. without the exchange of power between two sexes. you are just friends that fuck for the most part. but thats just my and many others experience. its also aggregate laws of nature in function. another red flag is if she invites others into your relationship. this happened to me once, and it was her sister. i dropped her like a hot potato. her sister doesn't need to know what we do in the bedroom or things I've shared privately between us, like insecurities anywhere from a weird mole to a dumb argument to my childhood. she burned that relationship to the ground in one night and i said peace.

[SomeGuyCalledTom]

#6-- she bitches about other people behind their back, and doubles down when called out on it

#7-- she lies to you about innocuous things, often this is a sign she'll be dishonest about the important stuff later on

#8-- she monopolizes your time and attention (eg: constantly texting you when you're out with friends, insisting she tag along everywhere you go, not giving you room to breathe and guilting you for even WANTING breathing room

#9-- she uses sex as a leverage point for manipulation, or as a pavlovian tool for classical conditioning. Rather than enjoying sex as a means of deepening the connection and giving mutual pleasure

#10-- she makes you responsible for fixing all her problems, especially those relating to some pre-existing emotional issues that have nothing to do with you

[Itsok2behapp-e]

Excellent myTake dear Elisa!

Please stay awesome yourself and if you can continue to help our brothers, then continue to do so.

I for one don't see any red flags other than those for my favourite Formula 1 team, hehe!

Living the rest of my days on my own with not a care what any woman thinks/says/does.

She can fly a flag of any colour, I don't care. I don't need that in my life anymore.

Stay safe brothers and look out for Elisa, a sister like her is a rare breed teaching you men the ways of women.

Amen.

[Itsok2behapp-e]

Who gives us a fuck!

Your co-worker doesn't believe that shit otherwise they'd no longer be your coworker.

Check the site yourself and kindly fuck off please!

[zeitgeist057]

Great list, but I would like to comment that everyone has issues and no one is perfect. Sometimes it's not about finding that perfect person, but about finding someone who fits well with you.

I find love to be fairly easy because I am tolerant to the growing that everyone is always doing, and the challenges people face. I myself have challenges, and don't feel in a position to judge others. I will work on myself and ask for help if I need it. In return I respect the work she is doing on herself and will help her in the ways I can (within my boundaries as well as ability), if she asks.

[Eggplant29]

AMEN to the above!

The point on Daddy's girls is particularly valuable... why are we quick to tar those without a father figure? It's not right. The spoilt Daddy's girl is more lethal and it is pernicious as it is more socially acceptable.

I'm not against women but there are some men SHOULD steer clear of, just like men women should steer clear of.

Will there be a sequel that addresses the other gender?

[elisa_0]

I wanna do a red flags when dating a man as well haha

[MysteriousDarkness]

Red Flag #1 Both can focus more on than phone than the other person.
Red Flag #2 Both can constantly blame the other erson or try yo justify their wrongdoings.
Red Flag #3 Only if you sllow her to by constantly giving her money or buy the services and or material items that she wants.
Red Flag #4 Not all daddy's girls are spoiled or expect you to treat them right even if they treat you like crap. I know some daddy's girls that are told to give the person something to respect, love and care about before expecting to be respected, loved and cared about.
Red Flag #5 Too much of anything I believe is not good.

[RingOfFire]

Good take, but I think you mischaracterize women who play the damsel in distress as "conservative." The essence of conservative ideology is self-reliance, so that term is not compatible with this behavior. It's too something maybe, but not too conservative. I also take exception that "helpless and dumb barbie doll" fits the conservative profile. It does not.

"Women who are overly conservative will always act like they're a damsel in distress and even though you may find this charming at first, there'll be a time when you'll start to get annoyed by it and will want her to act like a real person for once, rather than a helpless and dumb barbie doll."

[bluetoblack99]

Self identifying feminists are much more likely to be hypocrites on this. They well go around telling everybody how proud and independent they are when things are going well for them. Then when the times get tough they conveniently play the victim.

[RingOfFire]

@bluetoblack99

You make an excellent point. To make it even more general, the victim card is a staple of the left, not the right.

[bluetoblack99]

And you have been around long enough to see that for real.

[Nick568]

Pretty sound advice. I do however have something to comment on #4. You don't want a spoiled Daddy's girl, but a girl who loves her father and has a good male role model in her life is DEFINITELY a positive thing. It's important to make that distinction.

[elisa_0]

Yes. 👌🏼

[Anonymous]

"Red Flag #1: She focuses more on her phone than you."

Yes for either sex duh

"Red Flag #2: She always blames you or justifies her wrongdoings"

Yes for either sex... Can go both ways

"Red Flag #3: She treats you like an ATM Machine"


Unless he wants to be treated like an ATM. Ha ha current boyfriend will not take no for an answer.

"Red Flag #4: She's a Daddy's Girl"
Daddy girls and mama boys suck and it's creepy as fuck

"Red Flag #5: She's too conservative or too feminist"
Meh

[Kaneki05]

Found out these all the hard way. Probably still will sighs. 4th that's just another girl without a good father figure, Not been there as a father, or Been there but just giving the child whatever they want and teach them nothing might as well be the same.

[CriticalDiscourse]

I'm not trying to be crappy, but I just hate these "avoid this and that" in a man or woman posts because they basically try to boil down individuals to a singularity that leaves no room for mistake, irregularity or variables. A fantastic woman, man, or non-binary could show these signs on a bad day, maybe we ought to really judge and analyze each situation before we draw blanket conclusions is all I'm saying.

[CriticalDiscourse]

BIG BUT: I'm not saying someone who is abusive (AKA always blaming everything on you) should be accepted in your life. I'm just saying that people are so imperfect and we all fuck up. I think you generally have made some excellent points here.

[Gisellelighting]

Yes, the post is unnecessary in my opinion.

[CubsterShura]

The biggest red flag is actually if she gets along with women who are not good people. If a guy has the capacity to find out what kind of women she gets along with (which is easy if you go to the same school/workplace) then he must use that chance. If she's getting along with the bitchy/gossipy kinda women... Forget it. Even if she's not bad herself then these friends will be a negative influence on her and that won't be fun if you're in a relationship with her.

[AFellowWeeb]

truest and most underrated comment here

[certifiedalphafemale]

As a woman, I agree to this post. I also have male friends who happen to ignore these red flags, they claim that it's because they never just give up to a woman that they pursue, not knowing that they're being made a fool by those women.


You should add the ff by the way:


6.) Being too clingy or being too hard to get
7.) Being hot and cold
and most importantly
8.) Not making an effort for him even though he does

[ahmadali01]

Relationships are complicated and need two people to find their functional settings. Often in relationships, there are 'Red Flags' that we ignore due to some misplaced insecurity often resulting in people being falsely content in mediocre relationships.

While accepting people and their flaws is generally a good thing, there are cases when it may be apt to cut ties and severe any prospects of a future together.

[triff]

That's amazing I found myself having to read it all the way through and digested what you have said Are you really 20 OMG that is such a mature analytic view I have always gone for the broken type Brought them back to a confident person and then get that speech everyone hates Your the sweetest kindest guy I have met BUT Been on my own 6 years now Hate it sometimes Love it other

[Alyssa11]

I'm laughing because someone actually sat down and said it. Everything you said was right to the T - and these points are definitely overlooked by so many men who are purely distracted by looks.