Dating

Final conclusion on 3 years of online dating, for men over 40, what to look for and expect.

Final conclusion on 3 years of online dating, for men over 40, what to look for and expect.

First, I really want to say that there are some really good people to be found on line. There's no doubt about that fact. In saying that, you really have to temper your expectations, and be practical and realistic about your approach.

Online dating at 40+, is not where you go to find love. If you want love, then find out what church your sexy neighbor goes to, then sneak into the closest pew you can find to her, and sit through 6 weeks of church. Once you think she's noticed, then ask her out, but be prepared to be flat out rejected. Now that's how love is made.

Now, let's get practical about the realities of online dating and dig into it.

~ "Hi, I am David want to date me?"

I went online because, I married young and moved far away from home for decades. When divorce came, I had no friends, and all the roots I had put down, were rooted out of ground, split 50/50 and auditioned off to highest bidder. That's how I ended up on line.

I tell that story to illustrate a point. That's how I got there, that how most 40+ end up there. That's the dating pool you're swimming in.

Now for 30 and unders, it's a completely different environment. They were born into social media, and how they manage it varies. I want to make the point, that I am 48 years old. I wish more 40+ could rediscover themselves like that. The fact is reality is slapping them in the face.

~ Little Tommy and Sally Sue got to get to soccer practice.

When you were young, you got your first job, went to school, or moved away from home. At that age your entire life was a blank slat. You either had a job or were in school. That means you had one priority that might of taken up 40 to 60 percent of your free time. By age 40, you had a full time career, kids, wife/husband, pets, family, friends, Jesus, and don't forget soccer practice! These all amount to a variety of competing prioritizes. You feel at some point, if only I could find that someone special?

~ The easiest thing to do is to go online, right? How hard could it be?

This is where it turns one sided. I am sure women have a variety of compelling and formative points to make that are very relevant. As a good man I'd gladly listen to everything women have to say about it without saying a word. As a man, with a man's voice, I am coming from a male perspective. You don't need to agree, as long as your willing to listen. Because that's what any good man would do for his woman, and still love her in thr end.

~ I'll make the time for it, when it happens.

Single working moms, God bless you all. As a man, there's only three reasons why your a single working mom with the kids full time.

1. Dad completely abounded you and the kids.

2. No matter how hard he tired you ran him off to the degree that there was no coming back... even he wanted to for the kids, you made sure it would never happen.

3. You always say three reasons, because you would be an idiot to think there is not one.

Single working moms with kids full time. They all want love and commitment.

~ Okay, me too, sounds awesome I am in!

Kids, Family, job/career, this means any man you find online, can at best become your very, very, very distance 4th place priority. All the profiles will tell you this as you read them.

"Must have a deep faith in God, and understand that my kids are my life, and my family and friends will always come first."

We have all seen different variations of this in many online profiles, but what is it telling you? That Kids, God, family and friends, will always take priority over any other relationship? But she wants love and commitment? Then you scroll down 2 of 2 children in home, full time.

To me I read it as, she already has all the love and fulfillment life can provide for any one person. There's nothing I have to offer this women. Why? Because she's not really offering you anything as a man.

To me dating is not something you make time for if and when you need to. You have the time to give to it, before you go online to try to meet someone. Making time for it, takes a lot of work. The type of work, that's not really worth the effort for your #5, at best priority in life. Giving the time you have available requires less effort, when you have it to give.

~ 40+ never married, no children, doesn't want children.

Yikes! Okay, I'll tell you the truth....these types are a lot of fun. Let me tell you, boy... woooh! Just know it's going to be one hell of a ride, enjoy it for as long as it last, but know when the end comes, it will be a flaming car wreck. She is 40+ never married without kids for a reason.

So yeah, I am sure there's a third type, but I never met one.

In conclusion, I am completely offline at this time in my life. Waiting until I am 50 and the empty nesters hit the market. Maybe there will be more empty space in their lives.

Final conclusion on 3 years of online dating, for men over 40, what to look for and expect.
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