A word of advice for older men on dating sites?

[Amy10223]

Please update your pictures! Don't put up photos of yourself that are about 20 years old (even 15). I have and continue to do so myself. For those of you who know about my story with a man I met through a dating site, we finally!! met last night. After about 2 months of talking and him disappearing for awhile in which I had not idea what happened... nor did I think I'd ever meet... we did meet last night. He was the same as in his other photos... but older, a bit heavier (but not much), and so I was taken back a bit. I would have preferred he update his photos. He admitted to me that he was a bit nervous to meet, by the way. I don't know why that is, because he seemed confident to me. I think he is still handsome and has this clever, witty mind, so I shouldn't complain. But in a way I think he was being a little dishonest with his appearance. What do you think?

[Dennisnky]

I try to put very recent pictures up, but I cringe when I do. My weight fluctuates every couple years between 240 and 270 and when I'm 270 my belly is huge! but when I'm 240 Im more like just a dad bod look. He may have every intention of getting his weight down but then his eagerness to meet you overrode his hesitation to expose where he's at on his own fluctuation. He is probably embarrassed about the difference between his pictures and his actual appearance, but he might not realize that the incongruence between his pictures and reality cause a greater discomfort than the actual reality itself , if that makes sense. I usually just make a joke about my 10 month pregnant belly since I'm aware but not sensitive about it, and I can run over 10 miles which is better than most and so I guess I figure appearance doesn't tell the whole story anyway.

[Amy10223]

Yes, I understand what you mean. I can understand why the old pictures were there, and there was one more recent picture--but only one and it was a small one at that. Of course, I didn't really ask him anything about it, but just took a note of it. So maybe he was embarrassed, but honesty to me is important. At least he bothered to come forward, is how I see it, because the lack of communication was killing me. I almost did not answer his text, but I was so curious about him that I didn't cut communication.

[AviatorTom]

When I was on dating sites, one of the first things I did, after messaging the lady, was ask her go exchange recent photos. Both men and women put photos on the site that make them look good... to attract someone who might be interested. Glad your date went well.

[Amy10223]

Thanks Tom. Yes that should be the case. It was about time, though. He was more nervous than I was, but he did say he was so socially awkward on the site.

[weysally]

I don't know about dating sites, but the pic I use on Gag is about 18 years old, glad everything else went well for you,

[Amy10223]

My previous picture is about 3 years old, took it in early 2020 or 2019. This one is a few weeks old. Thanks! I had my doubts though as you know! Hard to read him.

[weysally]

yes, I find that difficult to come to terms with, most of the one that I know are open about what they want, one time I was asked if someone saw me in Exeter, I said yes it could have been me, I went there to get some things, the reply I got was, you don't have to be accountable to me, all I did was continue with the conversation, strange

[Anonymous]

I know a woman in her 40's who has a profile picture from when she was like 22 on her facebook profile.

[Zolly99999]

Catfish...

[Opinion Owner]

@Zolly99999
Not technically because a catfish steals other people's pictures and assumes their identity.
the picture is of her, but it's extremely old because it's from a time that she liked her appearance the most I guess. It's still lying about her age though.

[Zolly99999]

I thought it was a form of cat fishing. Post old pics to lure the other person in.

[Zolly99999]

Stealing identity and stuff is straight up con artist.

[Opinion Owner]

@Zolly99999
Haven't you ever seen the tv series "Catfish"?
It's all about people who aren't real, they steal someone else's picture from the internet and use it to trick people.

[Zolly99999]

No I have not... hmmm i bet the show is interesting lol.. I will have to check it out

[Amy10223]

@Zolly99999 I don't think it's Catfishing, because his photos are his own, and not someone else's. They just not up to date except for one; and even that one he seems a little different, but I can tell because of his eyes and the way he is.

[Zolly99999]

@Amy10223 in you case it is probably not cat fishing..

[Anonymous]

The same can be said of women. Look at your genders profiles sometimes. It amazes me how all women over 40 on dating sites have discovered the fountain of youth. 🤣🤣🤣

[Amy10223]

I've no idea how to do that, but I guess it must work with ways.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't know why people would want to hide who they are. I mean on some level I get it. I'm not winning any beauty contests🤣. But the point is if you truly want something successful you're going to have to be truthful. So why not just start there. Personally I find lying to just be too exhausting. Either accept who I am ot get lost is my attitude. I'm not going to pretend for anybody.

[Amy10223]

I agree! Just be yourself

[Googlemyahoo]

here's me from 20 years ago I’ll use that !

[Levin]

I dunno man.

I keep looking younger so it's all good.

[Fireguy17]

Same goes for women.
I've been on some dates and didn't recognize her when she walked in.

[Anonymous]

Lol, this is at least as much an issue with women, probably more so.

[Jennz6]

Yes, it figures they would put an old picture to lure you into a date…

[In_Trance]

Isn't a guy putting up old pics the same thing as a girl filtering?

Neither is an accurate representation

[MrTaboo]

Same for women

[krin_m]

Good advice!