Being Ethnic In A White Society Is A Dating Handicap

[Anonymous]

This is especially true for men in the online dating world. While average looking ethnic women often get the attention of men, average ethnic men are rarely received as well as average white men, in general.

When white men are available, women of all races in general seem to prefer them.

This data from the Facebook app "Are You Interested" is closely matched by the data from every other dating site or service.

If we really want to help some people that are struggling in the dating game, first we have to let go of the taboos regarding discussions on race.

There's nothing wrong with accepting the reality that white people and "whiteness" are more preferred than not. And keep in mind this isn't about *you* as an individual reading this. It's about western society at large, so to deny this is true is to deny a demonstrable truth backed up by empirical data.

When dealing with a problem, the most effective solution usually begins by defining the problem as accurately as possible. Ethnic people, and especially ethnic men should recognize where they fit in the dating game and adjust their strategies accordingly. Lying to people is only going to worsen their frustrations.

[MaskedSanity]

It's all well and good to bitch about being overlooked in the dating world.

But what solution do you propose? Do you expect women to stop dating those they're attracted to?

Don't think for a second that it's solely because of skin colour. A HUGE part in this plays CULTURE. People like familiarity, they will want to spend a lot of time with someone they have things in common when it comes to cultural background.

Dating a foreigner can be challenging due to cultural differences, even if your skin tone somewhat matches. Ethnic groups tend to have very diverse, different and even bizarre cultures that many would not want to deal with.

Also, the annoyance that is middle eastern and Asian men with their overbearing advances aren't doing ethnic groups any favours either. The amount of Turks, Arabs, Pakistanis, Indians and so forth, who simply cannot take no for an answer tars the rest and many choose to turn these groups away altogether due to bad experiences in the past.

When I was on Okcupid, I had literally hundreds of ethnic men confess their undying love for me in the very first message, so you can't really blame us for being fed up with this bullshit.

"Dear, u are perfct, i want t date u"

^^^ I'm sure most girls on this website are familiar with this type of message.

[bearealist]

It's so true! Sorry but if an Arabic or African guy replies I most likely won't respond. Most of them are fakE. I love the culture, I belly dance and will eat falafel in a heartbeat. But most Arabic guys online come off as pic collectors, creepy and cat fishers. If we meet In person not afraid to communicate unless they hate Americans.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Then again many of us have moved to the United States at a young age and have Americanized beliefs and values and I mean I am personally Agnostic (so religion wouldn't be an issue either).

But yeah, behaving like that on online dating is of course laughable, regardless of ethnicity.

[R3d_Anonymous]

I don't mean the men you're describing. I mean a lot of us from these various ethnic groups.

I am personally Indian, but very anti-conservative and Americanized in my way of thinking.

[MaskedSanity]

@bearealist

You can't beat these guys off with a stick, even on this website I've had these groups send PMs about cam sex, dating and so forth and this isn't even a bloody dating website.

When the overwhelming majority of experiences with ethnic groups online is negative, you don't really want to work your way through all the bullshit to get to that one decent guy.

You won't see this sort of bullshit face to face.

[bearealist]

Exactly it's like are you kidding me!!!

[Michael_Rc46]

Yeah your sanity really is masked and hidden. Of the millions of them how many have you met? Probably a lot lett than 0.1% yet you judge all

[MaskedSanity]

@Michael_Rc46

It is highly unlikely that I will ever in my entire lifetime meet all of the middle east and Asia. However, when the messages stagger by the HUNDREDS, I'm quite content in my decision.

If you presented a bowl of various delicious fruit and said that some of them have not been poisoned, do you seriously think anyone would take the risk for the sake of finding a few good ones?

[Watermelonoma]

thats unfortunate

[Michael_Rc46]

One bad apple. Yeah I guess you have a good point.

[lumos]

"Dear, u are perfct, i want t date u"
TOO REAL

[ShutUpAndSuckMe]

You should change the title to: ''Why Being UGLY, RESENTFUL, RACIST, SEXIST, JEALOUS, ENVIOUS, & PATHETIC AF In Society Is A Dating Handicap''..

Cuz when it comes down to it.. that's what you are.

[R3d_Anonymous]

Douched.

[kheserthorpe]

According to your data, black women hate white men. We should remember to note this when black girls here ask if white men are nervous about approaching them.

As for the men, I'm more familiar with the okcupid data, and it continues to frustrate me that I haven't seen it cut on multiple axis at once. If we look at black males for example, they get lower response rates. okcupid's data also shows a strong correlation between male income and how much men are contacted. If you look at the general U. S. pop there's quite a race-income correlation. MAYBE that doesn't hold for okcupid's members - the black men there may have similar income/education to the white men there. Maybe not.

I'd like to see the racial response rate data AFTER controlling for income, height and weight, which are correlated with race.

I'd also just generally note that the differences in response rates while material are much smaller than the differences in response rates based on (for men) income and looks.

Based on that I'd assume a decent looking, fit black guy with a decent job would be an above average prospect with any race of women. Those things matter -more-.

[Slavanna]

Let me tell you a secret. Most people appeal to a small pool of other people, regardless of their looks. The most unattractive thing about a person is actually self-pity, and people who blame all their relationship problems on factors they can't change are not the best dating prospect.

[mutedaisy]

Why don't people understand this? Is it too logical or something? I've told this to countless people on this site, but it is like talking to a wall that wants every single person to love it -_-

[BelleGirl21]

Thank you for this response!

[ajboarder]

Lol. Demonstrable truth backed up by empirical data. And how big was the sample size here? How many times was this survey repeated? Was the sample diverse? Was it an accurate representation of the American population? Who had access to the survey?

The answer is you have no fucking idea. You saw a jpg on the internet and deemed it truth, totally blind to the statistical bias.

I'll not deny that this is indeed a society that caters to whites, but really bro... learn to recognize bullshit when you see it.

[dartmaul15]

also the whoel thing is funny because it is basedo in numbers from areas where the natives are WHITE!
no fucking surprise most people want the native people.
We could do the same in china, and find chinese at the top, do it in africa and find afticans on the top...

This isn't racism, this is the cold hard truth about preference. People want the natives because they're biologially better suited to survive there. It's that simple.

[ajboarder]

yeah no. you missed the point.

[Anonymous]

I think the fact that your personality looks bitter, angry, and just pathetic probably makes it harder for you to date girl than your skin color :)

Not everything is completly wrong, but still, the survey was made in white countries. Because I know for a fact most Asians in asia prefer dating Asians, maybe white, but usually, they are really conservative.

I think you should just man up, and work to have a better personality, instead of blaming your ethnicity for your dating skills :)

Because yes, this take looks like you want to get sympathy by saying why you are unsuccessfull in dating :)

Just grow up, work on yourself, and you will see, people are not as ''racist'' and white only like you seem to think, young boy :)

Have a nice day!

[Opinion Owner]

* if the survey was made in africa, most people would be inclined to date black people, in asia, Asians would be more popular.

Thats just normal, and western culture is way more open than a lot of other culture. S you should consider yourself lucky to be here ;)

[hardboiled777]

DUH. But your whole "politically correct" analysis is WORTHLESS.,

People already CLAIM to accept minorities. BUT the truth is people are PREJUDICE BY NATURE as we are ANIMALS programmed by years of evolution AND now in our own short times of having big brains, CULTURE.

So how do we skew things towards minorities? EASY , think how blacks were worthless and LOW VALUE before the last 20 years of TV, movies, music, etc.

CELEBRATE and PUT MINORITIES BESIDES JUST BLACKS in the culture of movies, music, TV, etc and their VALUE will rise.

It's all about social hierarchy and comes down to evolutionary psychology, read about it

[watashiwahanadesu]

Based on your data it doesn't seem to be a handicap for women. It actually looks like an advantage. Then again this data may not be so accurate. What was the age range for the study sample? Where are they from? How large was their study pool? When was this conducted or the data analysed?

[myTake Owner]

The easier question would be to show me legitimate dating site/service data, based on a significant enough sample that *doesn't* show a bias in favor of white men. It doesn't exist. Google this information and you will always find the same result in every data set.

[SakuraChii]

That's not everyone in the world. Also you don't know what any of the participants looked like or the type of personalities that they were into. I'm a black female and it's the complete opposite for me, I rarely get approached by the same race in school and I have no problems with dating outside of my race either.

[Hannah591]

I find black guys and Asians aren't interested in me, they go for women of their own race, so would you consider that racism towards me or does it not count if you're white? People have different preferences. I would date a guy of any race if I found him attractive and it's not my fault if I find certain races more attractive than others (and no, it's not just white guys).

There's lots of issues with this take.

[throwaway0006]

That's completely bullshit. "they go for women of their own race." A one size fits all approach. Your entitled to your opinion. White girls date white and black guys but not Asian guys. In USA, they prefer white > black > Asian.
So, there is an obstacle for Asian and Indian men because we are accepted into American society.

[Hannah591]

I really like Asian guys - Chinese, Japanese, Korean etc and I know others who do too, so you can't say all white girls don't like Asians. Asians and Black guys almost always are never interested in dating. I'm going by what I experience personally.

[Kshppatel]

OP the sooner you accept it and move on the sooner you can forget about it. Trust me I know how you feel but thats just how the world works. Also what is wrong with women that are races other than white? Why do you want white women over women of other races?

[chrisbigman]

Well, I will tell you my response to this take. I personally don't have a preference on the color of skin the women I date. And I'm a white guy. Yes, there is a lot more white women where I live. But that doesn't mean I would date a white women in my town just because a black woman doesn't live here. In fact, there is a hot black woman that works at my doctor's office that I would love to get to know. She's got wild hair, but she seems cool also.

[Watermelonoma]

well what can you do. white guys have an advantage in dating, but you have to work with what you have

[The_Empty]

Well, all white men can die, that'd be fair.

[Eugene]

Articles like this remind me this image
https://i.imgur.com/crN8iPc.jpg

Maybe Churchill was correct indeed...

[Anonymous]

I wonder if this was written by an ethnic man who's venting his frustrations about not being able to get any.

[bearealist]

Shocking to see. No big deal though, it's not hard for me. I must be quite honest... Most of the replies I get are from white, black and Latino men... I haven't had any problems. who really cares.

[TheLoverNotHater]

The Asian bit is true. No girls go for the Asian guy. T^T

[BelleGirl21]

Married one...

[NikiFm]

I love Asian guys... I've only ever dated Asian guys... Im white... yeh

[Hannah591]

I would love to date an Asian guy if the right guy came along.

[TheLoverNotHater]

The sad bit is, sorry lasses, I've heard all that before. Well, except for Bellegirl21's. They're all fake though.

[The_Empty]

I know, the same with that pathetic lie that girls like black guys, IT'S A FUCKING LIE!!!

[abundantlyrich]

Too many fobs around. But why do u need to date white girls? Lol

u so beautiful i wuv u wrong time... Hi h r u?

[myTake Owner]

Nobody here said anything about dating white girls. Try reading, for once.

[tenofthepeaks]

i don't mean any offence. but society won't change since it doesn't find your features attractive. either accept your lower dating status, or move to another country.

why is your self-esteem connected to your datability?

[bubble_tea]

Being an Asian woman in a white society is not a handicap though... judging from your first picture.

[CreepyOldMan]

White is ethnic. Technically, Caucasian is the ethnicity.

There is no such thing as white people and ethnic people. There is no ethnicity called 'Ethnic'. :-)

[CreepyOldMan]

*wonders how long the OP has been using 'ethnic' to refer to a race. The Ethnic race. lol :-p*

[NexAngelus]

lol so cute, u post a question posing as a racist... ooo wait