Is dating worth really all of the hassle that comes with it?

[Anonymous]

It seems like a minefield full of hoop jumping and game playing, so is dating worth the hassle? Is it counterproductive and a waste of time.

Yes

No

[aficionado]

Dating is a much bigger hassle for men than women.

To start with, I just HATE the fact that men are ALWAYS expected to make the first move, in spite of so many changes in gender roles over the years. Even if I do this, I need to brace for loads of rejections (because I haven't got the looks of Tom Cruise or the wealth of Bill Gates). If I'm fortunate enough to get a 'yes' from a woman after several attempts, even then I need to be constantly on my toes to keep her interested in me. Its a well know fact that its much easier for a woman to get a boyfriend, than a man to get a girlfriend. So if she loses interest in me, she'd dump and easily find someone else soon ( because several men are usually waiting to ask a woman out). But for me, it would take a LONG time to recover. Also, I'm the kind of guy who'd prefer to eventually marry and have kids with the woman I date, and I'm not interested in casual dating or one-night stands. I'm quite sure most women wouldn't like this.

So you see, me trying to date is likely to cause more problems than happiness, so I'd rather avoid it. This is just my point of view, though. I'm not a pessimist, I'm just a realist.

[RedRhyno]

Dating is a fairly double edged sword. It can bring lots of happiness and fulfillment, but only with the right person. I've had my share of hassle relationships, but I've also had some that I wish never had to end.

With the right person, things come naturally, you're on the same wavelength, and neither one of you wants to play games. When that happens a wonderful relationship can come about. But if you don't have that and you're trying to force it at all, then dating isn't really worth it.

[SirenWarrior]

I think it's all jumping through hoops and such else if you're with someone who isn't right for you. If the two of you don't gel then it's going to take a lot of doing things you wouldn't normally do. But when you find someone you do gel with, then it's easy, someone you can be comfortable and talk and laugh about all sorts of things with. I hate to sound so cheesy, but if it's meant to be, then it will be.

[Asker]

I believe in the same thing as you do.

[sherlocked]

No I don't think its worth it.
Too much drama. And if it leads to a relationship oh God. Even more drama and also heartbreaks and whatnot. Better off being alone, thank you very much :P

[Anonymous]

Not if you take things in a slow and relaxed manner and simply become friends with a guy before you jump into a relationship with him.

[Asker]

Why would you want to become friends with someone you are romantically interested in? That makes as much sense to me as a chocolate teapot.

[AdamThomas]

@Asker - it's just some retarded woman thing. It makes no sense to me either.

[Opinion Owner]

Because a romantic relationship should have a solid basis. Being good friends with a person before involving romantic feelings will provide the solid basis for the relationship. Romantic feelings often eventually wane but if you truly love a person because of simply who they are as a person, and are genuinely best friends with them, then you have a long-term relationship. After all, your partner is supposed to be your best friend. It's really not unreasonable to expect anything less than a true best friend from a person you plan on being in a relationship for the rest of your life with.

[Asker]

But you can become good friends overtime in a relationship can't you?

[Opinion Owner]

Of course you can, but I'm just saying that the dating period will be less of a hassle if you were simply friends with the other person first, and already got to know them well and are comfortable with them. You'll probably already know their family and friends and their way of thinking and how compatible they are with you. Definitely less of a hassle.

[Asker]

Of course, but I wouldn't want to mix friendship with romance. I have two female friends and I could never ever imagine being intimate with them, it wouldn't feel right.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I understand that. Especially when it comes to some guys that I grew up with from the time I was a little kid, it just would feel awkward being in an actual relationship with them.

It's nice being just friends at first, though, because it lets you see who a person truly is quicker/easier. A lot of times (and understandably) when people date, for a long time they put on their absolute best behavior and persona so as to be desirable to the other person. When you're just friends with someone, though, you feel free to lay both your good and bad qualities out on the table. You're comfortable. When you hang with the person regularly, you get to see how they act in all kinds of situations. They're not putting on any sort of air and they sure aren't on their best behavior because, at present, you're just friends.

[Opinion Owner]

I have a few guy friends I wouldn't mind being in a relationship with. For right now we're all just friends, though. I see how each one of them acts and thinks and treats others. We have normal, casual discussions and through those discussions I can see which ones are most compatible with me. There's one guy who at first I was really attracted to (and he seemed to be attracted to me) and he really did seem like a great guy. So sweet and interesting and extremely charismatic. I've been good friends with him for a while now and yeah, he's still a good person, but he's got a lot of screwed up negative qualities, too, that didn't make themselves apparent until I knew him for a long time and became good friends with him. Of course if I had dated him, and dated him long enough, I would have eventually seen his negative qualities, but it's just different when you're only friends with someone. Everything is just more laid out in the open.

[jason8802]

Mmm yea it is being an experienced 38 yr. Old and on 2 marriages Along with a 10 yr. Relationship... date to find the woman for you the mire you play it'll vount as baggage in the future relationship that means the most... curiosity?'s will come how many and who and being in a truthful relationship you tell the truth and problems may arise

[msc545]

Dating is not worth the hassle. It is particularly difficult for men who almost never see any valuable result for what is almost lottery ticket odds of anything good happening in exchange for their time, money, and efforts. Women's standards and expectations are impossible.

[Phoenix98]

Nothing doing or achieving is ever easy dude obstacles and road blocks. Test how much you want something and how hard your willing to work for it just like competition breeds excellence.

[Asker]

Well I don't think chasing after a woman who throw hoops in my direct or plays hard to get or who leads me on and gives out mixed signals is worth my time or effort and I fail to comprehend that would breed excellence but each to their own.

[Phoenix98]

I'm talking dating a quality women here not some girl who's just going to play games. And I was using the competition excellence thing as an example that nothing is easy in life. Esoeciasly when it comes to things you want you have to work and earn those people or things and if you run into a women who just messes with you drop her like a sack of potatoes and move on.

[Asker]

Oh I agree with that and agree with you wholeheartedly.

[Phoenix98]

Good.

[Anonymous]

It is the means to an end, that is to find the right mate to create children with.

If you don't want children, you should not date anyone.

Every other reason is modern liberal bullshit introduced to you by the media.

[AdamThomas]

I think it is. Eventually I just stopped trying and let girls come to me.

[Asker]

I may take a leaf out of your book.

[misscocobutter]

It is if you find someone special in the end. But yes it does seem like a waste of time.

[BrunetteNYC]

I agree, more stressed and annoyed when dating than when not.

[bubbletrouble]

I mean, you can always switch to an Asian chick like so many other white guys do

[Asker]

You assume too much and that's a pretty harsh statement really!

[Anonymous]

confidence and mental hardiness...thats what it all comes down to.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[Opinion Owner]

you believe in yourself, and you have the mental discipline (I'm fine, I can do this), then you cut through until you find quality.

[Asker]

I tend to persevere through life and I'd imagine dating would be no different.

[Opinion Owner]

The fact that you are complaining means that you are lacking the mental discipline :)
But sometimes we need someone to talk to.

[Asker]

I enjoy letting off steam, it's not good to bottle everything up.

[Opinion Owner]

*raises bottle in toast.

here here :)

[EllaDMorr23]

I hate dating, so no. But it seems necessary to get to know someone.

[nickstaa]

It can be a bit of a hassle but it can really pay off big time👏

[Anonymous]

It is when you finally find someone enjoyable.

[Asker]

I agree, but it's akin to finding a needle in a haystack.

[Opinion Owner]

You can say that again!