Why can't I get a girlfriend, I've tried everything?

[Anonymous]

Seriously, I've done everything, I look good, practice good hygiene, have a likable personality, I even did the whole nice guy thing for a whole, however, after getting treated like crap by so many people, I couldn't. I changed, I'm cruel, bitter, angry, and have built a massive superiority complex (like the guys that get girls) but even that's not good enough!!! And not out of choice but, I've become rather vicious too, I'm not above using people and girls to suit my purposes (people have used me in the past). Nothing I ever do is good enough, I'm never good enough, and it's eroded my confidence and sense of self-worth to the point that I pretty much hate myself along with everyone else. I'm at my breaking point, I try to hide my anger, I try not to feel it, but apparently girls have some magical ability to see through it, I don't even want to find my anger or sadness anymore, I'm giving up on fighting it, I'm just giving it to it, letting it consume me, I don't have a choice anymore, everyone made all of my choices for me. I don't even care anymore, lately I've been considering suicide to prove a point, maybe kill myself in public to make a statement, I don't even care, I just want to die. I want to be a machine, i wish I was born a sociopath so I wouldn't have to care about anyone else, nothing matters anymore.

[Anonymous]

That is the awful thing to say.
Do you know that what goes on your mind comes to your real life? No matter if its good or bad thing? Have you ever watched the Secret movie? If you haven't you should.
I am assuming that you're just too negative to yourself, look at you talk about trash about yourself. The one and only person who can make you feel so low about yourself is you, not the girls not the neighbor not the teacher and not even your parents. So you said you never good enough, huh? Yeah you say something like that and you expect people to like you? to respect you? to like you? how? how they do that if you as the master of your own universe hate yourself? You don't like you then why other people would bother to like you, huh? You are the center of your world remember that sweetheart, you control your world you create what's going on inside it. Be positive, be grateful for what you have now and you'd receive more someday.
Bad things happen, it happens to everyone. You, your mom, your friends, me, your teacher, everyone. But it's not going to last forever, succeed people don't go all angry and down and kill themselves when they find trouble, but they learn from it to be the better persons. Why do you think awesome people exist? They just were troubled person who are brave and strong enough to make a move and reach what they really want in life.
I hope this helps :)

[Asker]

You don't understand, I'm a monster

[Opinion Owner]

naaaw monsters are good to sometimes if they do good. what is it that make you feel so down, hmm?

[Asker]

My whole life, my whole life I've been taught to hate myself, I can't take it anymore

[Asker]

And now, I hate everyone else for making me feel this way

[Asker]

I try to feel compassion, I try to feel love, but so much has happened, I'm just dead inaide

[Asker]

*inside

[Opinion Owner]

well this is my story
when I was in elementary school I was the tallest and the most tanned girl in class (since I am an asian, being tanned is so ungirly and unpretty), I got bullied, guys call me monster because I am taller than them. My girl friends were fake, never invited me to birthday parties, never want to hang with me outside. I really hated I still do tho, the worst part is they succeed in making me believe that I am just an useless ugly tall girl with weird skin tone. I didn't care about my looks, I didn't care if people like me or not, I was confused betrayed and sad, they ignored me like I was a slay dog on the street, like a hobo, like a trash. I couldnt wait to enter junior highschool so that I could get rid from those little rachets. So here came the junior high school life, more drama, more tears, I didn't get any better, I was so disappointed I expected JHS would be sooo awesome but nothing really changed

[Opinion Owner]

hurt and betrayed and soon I became this super mean bitch with ugly face, I talk and do whatever the fuck I want I thought itd make people scared and finally respect me, but I didn't get any positive vibe from them. they hated me more. I thought and thought why did they hate me so much? then I realized it was because I hated myself! then I tried so hard to change, to love myself to be nice and kind, nothing really change but you know what? I found my best friends because of the changing and I think that's a great prize! I felt soo grateful and I just love what I got and you know what? People start to love me, I got more friends and they all like me, they make me happy and stuff

[Opinion Owner]

Well I still got enemies and weird people who called me names, mocked me for being tall. One day I took a look on the magazine and saw so many female models, they were so freaking beautiful and tall, and then it hit me hard "hey it's good being tall!" and so from that day on I became sooo proud about my heights, I am proud to be me! "I am tall and you are not!" I often thought whenever someone was being mean to me.
and now I am in high school, this place is the best place ever, I got popular kids as my friends (tho I am not that popular, everyone knows me but I am not that popular in school), they love me, they think I am awesome and they even envy my tall body! Even some girls from elementary told me she just wanted to be tall like me! Yes it is because I accept myself and then people start to accept me. I am the master of my universe, I control them from my mind. Everyone is the master of their own universe, sweetie. Believe that

[sweetharmony2006]

you are trying to hard... just cool your jets it will happen when it happens. try just simple conversations then see where it goes from there.

[clauphoenix]

You just want to have gf or are you really interested in a special girl?

[Asker]

I found a special girl, but I wasn't good enough for her, now I won't ever really care about another one, I just need to prove myself

[clauphoenix]

No, don't do that please. She has to be speacial so you can have a nice relationship. And im sure you will regret it. Just becausr one turn you down doesn't mean you have to act like that.

[clauphoenix]

Maybe there is your special girl but you have not notice her. You are looking in the wrong place

[ironeddie]

If this story is true and it's how you honestly feel. You need some serious therapy.

Others have made choices for me. What a cop out. At your age only YOU can make the choices.

If you really want to value your life by what is or isn't in it. You're doomed for failure. How about putting a value on what you can make, of your life?

Girls don't have any magical powers to see through you. It's not that difficult to figure out you're a selfish stupid twat. Here's something I recently wrote in another thread. You could learn something by it.

"What you're thinking/feeling creates a positive or negative aura around you. Which people can pick up on. A person won't know exactly what you are thinking. but they will get a sense of it. Even subconsciously. It will tell a lot about you. Especially whether they would avoid you or talk to you if you approached them. Or they approach you."

YOU HAVE A CHOICE. Make some changes in your life. Or continue down the road to failure. If you take failure road. Than be happy about it. It is YOUR CHOICE

[Anonymous]

You need to get abs and a big ****. Also wear snapbacks and swagged stupid shirts. Be rich and popular, and all the girls will love you. Girls are like that man, guys like me and you will never get one, always get friendzoned and see them crying because of other ones. You'r welcome.

[anner]

No I like skinny normal intelligent guys

[anner]

This is exactly what girls don't look for in a potential lover or husband

[Asker]

I don't want to be a "potential husband" because that tends to be when they're pushing 30-35 and their looks are fading, so they need stability.

[anner]

What? That's early 20s lol

[Opinion Owner]

But you'r over 25, teen girls nowadays are like that

[Mesonfielde]

Proper relationships are built upon the foundation of mutual acceptance and admiration. Basically, you enter a relationship because it is mutually beneficial for both sides. Obviously the superiority complex is not the reason why others find those people likeable. Also, you're under 18, you have plenty of time.

[Asker]

Okay, I'll admit, that was a bit extreme, I only start getting that messed up (superiority complex) if I'm really tired, because I don't really think straight anymore.

[Mesonfielde]

I don't think that's how superiority complexes work, albeit I must admit that when I'm tired, I'm much crankier than usual and less likely to tolerate bullshit, and then I hold grudges for a day.

[Asker]

I try to fight it, but I get partially psychotic when I'm tired, I guess I stop trying to suppress my own negative thoughts around then.

[Mesonfielde]

Anyways, being a machine and being unemotional would just make your matters worse. What you need to do is find a higher level of balance with yourself. You need to be likeable by a person you would like in order to create a relationship.

[aficionado]

Wow dude, you're under 18! Be happy that you're not giving in to today's twisted norms of very young people having girlfriends/boyfriends, losing virginity at 13 or 14, teenage pregnancies and all that crap. You still have a long life ahead of you, and the 'prime age' for dating is yet to come for you. I too had my first girlfriend only when I was 23. No need to push the panic button for another 8 to 10 years at least.

[Keyspirits]

Dont be a nice guy silly -.-'
Dont u hear dat nice guys finish last? U gotta be a jerk and make arguments to keep things fun. Thats what da cuties want. Be a fawken bad boi and talk shiat like ur looken kool and gotmda SWAG# on u. Thats when u knowmda cuties fell in luv wif u.

[Asker]

Lol, troll, or nah?

[Keyspirits]

I auppose u never heard of nice guys finish last? U shlould research more >.>

[Asker]

Oh, I just meant the grammar

[Keyspirits]

Here lel
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xfeys7Jfnx8

[questioner1991]

You need to be happy with yourself. When you are you will notice that people will gravitate towards you.

[still_waiting]

Hmm well you're cruel bitter angry and have a superiority complex so that probably won't help

[Asker]

Well, treating them like actual human beings did nothing. I'm bitter and angry because I've been treated like **** and I have a superiority complex because I'm better than everyone else, people are all just cruel and awful.

[still_waiting]

And treating them like shit isn't doing anything either. I know why you don't have a girlfriend lmao

[Asker]

Really, why?

[yourhigness]

Because you ignore people who care about you haha lame

[Asker]

That makes no sense, didn't you readwhat I wrote, no one cares about me

[yourhigness]

I care and I told you about my story but no nope nu uh you dont even bother to read it because its too fucking long for your fucking eyes to read, and oh look you just replied all the comments here just because i said such a thing. Seriously you kinda sound like a 12 y. o attention seeker

[yourhigness]

And we here TRIED to help but you keep rambling shits and just deny deny deny and dont even bother trying our advice, oh and look why do you even bother to ask for advice then? We say this you whine "but u dont understand nahanahanahablabalashit shit" we say that and you whine "but i dont tehe the tralalala crap" seriously what the hecl do you want

[Asker]

Don't you think I try? You think I want to be this way, that I want to hate myself? You think I'm happy that I practically coveres myself in scars? I don't choose to hate myself, but I can't find anything to like about myself. I look at the advice, and it's great that you could fix yourself and find happiness but I don't know how to do that for myself, I can't even rely on my friends.

[yourhigness]

Grow fucking up, I told you how, people here told you how; love yourself, anything on you just a simple stuff really. Like love yourself when you're smiling, love your eyes, and face, or your voice, your friends, your family. Its hard but you should change if you want a better life, no one can change that except you. Dont be such a confusing cry baby and asking advice but deny deny deny and fucking deny again. Jutst fucking try for your sake

[Asker]

Oh well, enough people hate me, you may as well jump on the bandwagon, I'll try to change, in some way, and see if it works.

[still_waiting]

Asker you are a pitiful attention seeker that tries to make people feel guilty. That's why you don't have a girlfriend

[Asker]

Yup, you got me, want a cookie? It's people like you that create people like me and pat yourselves on the back, you expect me to change, yet you refuse to understand, you may think you're in the right, but you're just as much part of the problen as me.

[still_waiting]

Do you honestly think you're one of the few people who have self-hate issues and low self esteem? I'd say 80% of kids around your age do. But when you mope around and say "its the worlds fault that I have cuts on my arms, see what you did to me! " its hard to have sympathy because you have made such dramatic statements expecting a sympathetic/guilty reaction. "People hate me, might as well jump on the bandwagon" dude seriously? Do you not see how retarded that sounds? You just said that you think you're better than most people and that you don't treat girls like humans then you turn around and say "poor me why don't I have a girlfriend? "
I mam first of all how old are you, 15 or 16?
If you're having so many issues I think that getting a girl is the LEAST of your worries.

[still_waiting]

"People like you create people like me! " Honestly? No. YOU create YOURSELF. If a kid chooses to beat you up at school YOU decide if you become bitter and hateful. If you get rejected a thousand times YOU decide if you choose to hate women.
I've been physically assaulted at school, talked about, and I've been through depression. But I don't sit around saying its the worlds fault that I'm not happy. You have some growing up to do

[Asker]

I doubt you had depression, it's absolute hell, and there are contributing factors in everything, it's just cause and effect, I don't treat girls badly, but I don't care about them either way, btw, most bullies and abusers have been bullied and abuses themselves, so that proves that you're wrong.

[Asker]

And what should I blame myself for people making fun of me? I don't want pity, I'm stronger than that, I want an answer for my problems!

[still_waiting]

That's your whole entire problem! You think you have it worse than anyone! Who the fuck are you to say I don't have depression? I tried to kill myself about a year ago, I've been on five different antidepressants and I recently went to a psychiatric hospital. You've got to be fucking joking. You literally think no one has felt pain like yours?
Hmm lets see. My father is an alcoholic, my mom has a terminal disease, the rest of my family is dead, I have panic attacks, I just went through rehab for Xanax addiction and recently got rejected as well. Every single person has a great number of personal struggles. You're such a typical teenager for thinking that you and only you know pain. Some people could look at you and say you don't know what pain is. And I don't bully people? What the hell?
I got attacked but I didn't act like you and turn around and treat others like garbage

[still_waiting]

You literally need a wake up call. You look at tge world as a bunch of inferior beings who have blissful lives while you suffer. You're ridiculous. People have it WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY worse than you

[Asker]

I'm sorry, I didn't know what you've been through.

[still_waiting]

You never know what anyone has been through so maybe you should respect other people.
Like I said getting a girlfriend isn't top priority. Maybe you should get help for your problems first.

[Asker]

I've tried, it's just every time things get better, they get far worse. I'm just so angry, and I just want to prove to everyone that I'm worth something.

[still_waiting]

Who says you're not worth something?

[Asker]

A lot of people, my old school, my current school, I used to look at my reflection and tell myself how worthless I was when I woke up in the morning.

[Prof_Don]

The VERY FIRST STEP for you is to genuinely like yourself and develop a sense of self... no "nice guy" or "bad boy" routines that are phony.

[Myusername12345]

How old are you? I have had a hard time getting a boyfriend. I just never could get one. I just don't get it.

[Myusername12345]

i have tried the sam things as you only had 3 boyfriends in the past 4 years but they were all cr*p and f**king b*tches!!!

[Anonymous]

I know the feeling I'm nice women and girls ignore me, I'm a jerk its I'm trying to hard. Its harder being a grown man and watching other men and young guys with GF's while your single. I too thought about suicide and it pisses me off seeing douche bags, asswipes, jerks etc treating girls like crap getting girls while nice respectful guys like me get rejected and ignored.

[jesus0025]

You sound like Elliot Rodger. Maybe social skills can help?

[NessMess]

And your assumptions sound retarded

[hannj88]

I didn't have a gf for 24 years then I had one for two years. Then just recently I had another one. So be patient

[yesmylove]

The question is how did you approach the girls. It's all about the approach.

[anner]

You put your self value by the fact that you have a gf?

[Asker]

How else can I prove myself as a man, that's what males evolved for

[anner]

I understand but it seems like that's what you only put your self value for. What about your career? Your other accomplishments? Achievements? There's more to life than getting a gf.

[Asker]

Well, I only have a couple of unrealiable friends, and, I don't know, my family has faith in me, but I think I'll be a failure, I have achieved nothing in life

[anner]

You can change that. go to school and be awesome!