I keep sending nudes and keep feeling guilty, Help?

[Anonymous]

ok im 23 years old, i never ever had a boyfirend, my parents are reliogous they dont even let me go to scholl/collges were guys are be.

i asked them to get me married they agreed and now are planing me to get engaged to somebody soon,...

i know thses details dont match the title of my question.

but over all iv had this online relationship with a guy for 3 years now, i talk to him about every thing, my life, problems, sex, situiations etc etc... but worst of all i sent him nudes, at times i like it, then i at times i feel extremly guilty due to my religeon... and no he never preassured me or treathened me for it,...

if anybody out there can understand my situation please advice.

and yes iv tried to talk to my parents, they are stuborn, apparently they have insecurities and issues of there own to understand my world as an adult...

[godfatherfan]

Your an adult and your are asking your parents to get you married?
that is so screwed up.
your an adult. go out and find someone you love and marry that person.
i can't understand people that do this kind of thing
religion is dangerous. all of them are
it has been brainwashed into you from childhood.
if you are educated you can figure out what makes sense and what doesn't
so make your own choices and go out and do your own thing.
don't let a possibly make believe thing rule your time on earth.
because if it does turn out to be real, it isn't going to care that you took nude pics of yourself

[dartmaul15]

Then don't do it. If he's half as understanding as you make it sound he'll be perfectly ok with you not sending em because how you feel afterwards.
Also, if you really wana keep sending images, try putting on some clothes to make em semi-nude instead, and see if that feels better. Try to find a balance :)

And honestly, nudes are just instant gratification. We guys (proper guys) doesn't love a girl because she sends us nudes. No, we love because of how she is as a person and how she treats us.

[Asker]

you didn't read my qeustion.

[dartmaul15]

"I keep sending nudes and keep feeling guilty, help!"
YOu're not allowed to go out to places where there are guys, and have never had an IRL bf. So you've asked your mother to arrange a wedding. You've been in an online LDR with a guy who seems to care, and you've sent him nudes which at times make you feel bad. He've not pressured you, so it have always been your decission.
You ask for help about understanding your situation.

So exactly what the hell are you asking about if it isn't about the bloody headline! You want to marry that guy you've been in an LDR with? If, so why didn't you state so in the frigin headline!

[Asker]

never mind, just forget it, and buy the way i did not mean to offend ya...

[dartmaul15]

You haven't offended me. I'm jsut tired of people posting purpously vague questions, or question where they refuse to give away crutial information...
If you can tell me exactly what you need an opinion on, then i'll try to give an answer.

[Asker]

ok, i dont have a bf, and i feel old as im 23 years old, my parents are strict and religous and refuse to understand me as an adult. but for the past 3 years iv had an online relationship with a guy, iv sent nudes to him most times but keep feeling bad though, like shamful and dirty.

[dartmaul15]

online bf... not in a relationship...
Tha'ts conflicting. Am i to understand that you think he doesn't count? if so, then i get why you missunderstood my answer.
You feel like time's running out to find a husband, and on the same time you feel wrong (to put it mildly) for sending nudes? Do you feel bad because of your own body, because you're displaying sexuality outside of marriage, or is there an other reason? If its the first one i'm afraid it'll feel wrong the day you're standing in front of your husband too. The second one won't, because once you're in wedlock that feeling of shame will not be present.

And your parents not understanding... that's a tricky one. I'd guess you're from a rather religious country, right?

[Anonymous]

If you feel guilty for sending nudes, stop doing it, don't sent pictures anymore.

[bubbletrouble]

If you are feeling guilty about it then stop sending them

[kartoos]

Ok i've been there.. My ex used to send me nudes and at times i found it really good but when we broke up i felt really bad cause i'm the kinda guy who says no to sex before marriage and seeing all those nudes were so wrong.. But then my ex met someone else and she told him everything and now she's happily married.. So the idea of feeling bad is normal and sending nude is aswell since this is how it goes in a relationship.. So don't worry just hang on and get busy with life and be sure to send nudes to someone who you extremely feel safe with.. Like for me i deleted all of her pictures cause i didn't wanted them to end up on the internet.. AGAIN ITS NORMAL AND CHILL EVEYRTHING WILL BE OKAY.

[-Zoe-]

Now I know :)

[kartoos]

Oh shit :D i knew you'd say something here but not so quick wow you'r a good stalker :D

[heavensgift2girls]

I don't know what culture you are from, but you are not currently in a relationship with anyone, so I don't believe you have anything to feel guilty about.

[Asker]

we are islamic culture.

[heavensgift2girls]

If your parents are not doing their part by helping you find a man to marry, then I think it is unreasonable to ask you not to search elsewhere to get your needs met. You are a woman not a child. Your needs matter as much as the needs of your future husband.

[Asker]

yes but they are telling me i need to mature more,.. im already 23,.. not sure how much longer i should wait...

[heavensgift2girls]

It sounds like they are being unreasonable. I am not familiar with your culture, as I would like to be. I don't want to get you in any trouble by giving you advice that would only work in my culture. Is there any way you can find a husband without your parents setting it up?

[Asker]

no i cant, they watch me every time i go out with firend or anywere else... im bounded, sadly

[heavensgift2girls]

Can you ask you grandparents to talk to them for you? Do you have a legal right to marry against your parents wishes.

[Asker]

my grandparents are dead,.. i do have right in a way, my parents wouldn't force me to marry a man i wouldn't like at all or preasure me, but there restriction ang them not getting me married soon enough is hard,

[heavensgift2girls]

If you have the right to marry without their permission then you might try to find a husband online.

[Asker]

thats a good idia,.. il try to find a good dating site for that..

[Anonymous]

Your an adult and he is not pressureing you, and does it tell you in your religion not to send nudes. probably not. so be happy

[ouch66]

Has he sent you nudes?

[Asker]

yes he has...

[Asker]

yes its the first one, but at time i love sending them but at other times i feel guilty... and yes we are islamic people but we live in the usa as i am born there aswell...

[Anonymous]

the solution is stop sending nudes

[Anonymous]

hmm its okay.. people do it.. its k if u trust him