Why do guys play hard to get?

[Anonymous]

I've never understood it when it comes to guys. Don't you guys realize that attractive girls have a ton of guys they are talking to? So if you act UNINTERESTED she's going to assume you're not and just move on?

it's so silly the number of times I am interested in a guy and he starts playing hard to get and I move on thinking he's not interested then like a year later he tells me he really liked me.

So why do you do this guys?

[JSmuve]

"Girls do it because we have been hurt too often, not as a silly game. It's because we realize that you guys want a challenge and that if we give you what you want you won't like us anymore, either that or we are testing you to see if you really like us, will fight for us.

That's why girls do it"

I'm gonna respond to the above first then your question.

So for guys it's a silly, frivolous game, but for girls it's justifiable by some pervasive piece of misinformation? Or because you're testing us? Ya, ok. You can't just sit there and spout off some lame ass excuse justifying why you all do it and then turn around and claim that guys who do the same are just playing a silly game. That's called being a hypocrite.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe we do it for the same reasons?
- Maybe we got hurt in the past by some girl. Despite popular belief, guys have feelings too. I know, shocking.
- Maybe we realize that girls want a challenge. Let's be honest here, nobody appreciates anyone who's available all the time. Girls need to know the guy has a life too and isn't always available at her beck-and-call.
- Maybe we want to see if you actually like us so we don't waste our time.

If girls act disinterested, guess what? The guy will assume she's disinterested. You're not doing yourself any favour by playing those silly games, as you put it. Maybe they'll continue to chase. But that's only because they're in it to hit it and quit it and probably have other prospects on the side.

Now, why do guys do this? See your own reasons. We want to see if you actually like us or if you're just stringing us along, along with half a dozen other guys.

[Asker]

I get that I really do. The only difference with this is that guys are usually the ones missing out, because if it is the earlier stages and the guy starts playing hard to get and if the girl is attractive she is going to have a ton of guys she's talking to. Guys don't have the same thing, they don't have a ton of girl who like them and trying to get with them (for the most part), so that's why girls don't put that extra effort in that guys who play hard to get have to.

[CuddlesWillDie]

We don't want to appear needy and desperate, both of those women find unnattractive

[Asker]

Interesting.

[MaskedSanity]

Guys do it for the same immature reasons women do.

"Don't you guys realize that attractive girls have a ton of guys they are talking to?"

You sound kind of conceited. This is how you come off:
"How dare these guys not give me, an ATTRACTIVE girl, their 100% undivided attention!"

If you like a guy, just talk to him yourself. He doesn't always have to shower you with attention. And if you don't like the guys that play games, cut off contact.

Girls do this playing hard to get bullshit WAY more often. Put yourself in men's shoes for a minute and realise that some guy not replying to your text is not the end of the world.

[Red_Dragon]

"You sound kind of conceited. This is how you come off:
"How dare these guys not give me, an ATTRACTIVE girl, their 100% undivided attention!""

Same mindset Elliot Rodgers had. I mean of course the dude had mental issues (apparently), but aside from that it's the same.

[bubble_tea]

I should have read everything instead of just the question... you're right!

[SandPlanet]

Just because you're supposedly attractive doesn't make you entitled to any guy showing interest, let alone taking the initiative.

Women do this all the time with men and they act like it's totally okay and expected to do so. I wouldn't be surprised if you had done this before yourself.

[meatballs21]

I'm sorry but girls do this far, far more often, and we'd like to know why - because it makes us lose interest too.

(there is also a lot of alpha male dudebro redpill bullshit out there that says to act disinterested... that way the woman figures there's competition or you've got something amazing and will pursue you. You can see for yourself why this just doesn't work)

[Asker]

Girls do it because we have been hurt too often, not as a silly game. It's because we realize that you guys want a challenge and that if we give you what you want you won't like us anymore, either that or we are testing you to see if you really like us, will fight for us.

That's why girls do it.

[MaskedSanity]

Complete and utter bullshit.

Asker, real life is not high school. You're up for a rude awakening, if you carry on with that mindset, lol.

[meatballs21]

Asker, why isn't liking you enough? If I'm with (as in dating) a girl I like, she'll know just how much that can mean.

[MaskedSanity]

@Red_Dragon

Exactly. I've been spoonfed from a young age that guys "ought to" chase girls and that you shouldn't be too eager. Lol what a crock of shit.

When my boyfriend and I exchanged numbers, there was no unwritten rule following of waiting x amount of hours/days before calling/texting. We just replied to each other, very actively stayed in touch, because the attraction was strong and we didn't see any point in restraining. Very awesome relationship to have, when no games are being played by EITHER party. :)

[meatballs21]

@MaskedSanity Very well said. The Asker talks of being hurt too often - I feel hurt if I think someone is toying with me, because there's no good reason for it. It also puts me off wanting a relationship with them - suppose the emotional connection grows and we become close, I'll never be sure if they aren't still messing with me.

[Asker]

I get that real life is not like highschool lol. And I never said that is what I PERSONALLY do. He asked me why girls do it and I simply answered the question.

[amani2010]

Hey! is because you make the first move guys love to make the first move not the ladies, so hold on your horses and take your time dont rush like thirsty cow to drink water in a river, relax let the guys do the follow and last but not list guys dont follow the beauty of a woman we follow how caring you, understand, kind and above all loving, so no matter how beautiful your you will get used at the end of the day you will be the looser.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes it's because we try flirting with the girl, she doesn't respond, and we assume she isn't interested in our advances. So we stop trying. That might look as though we've suddenly decided to play hard to get, but that's not the reason behind the change in actions.

[Asker]

I can recognize that but I don't mean it just looking like playing hard to get, I mean actual hard to get.

[RationalMale]

Yeah, sometimes. Sometimes playing hard to get, at least in the short term, just makes a girl want you that much more.

And of course attractive girls have a ton of guys they are talking to. Thing is, women find most men unattractive, so that doesn't really matter. It's like the okcupid study that showed women rate the majority of men as below average!

[LostWonder94]

It is a tactic, Some guys believe that if they show too much interest or if they seem too desperate then the female would end up losing interest. Most guys, even I, believe that girls like it when you play hard to get.

[Asker]

To an extent though. Don't be texting her every minute or anything. But if you have been talking to a girl for like 3 weeks you need to ask her out. Any longer than that and she's either going to assume you are not interested or will end up friendzoning you.

The problem is that guys will wait months and play this cat and mouse game with you and by that time you have lost interest. 3 weeks tops.

[MaskedSanity]

No guy "needs" to ask you out, love. If he wants to, he will.

Why not get off your high horse and ask out the guys YOU like instead of waiting for weeks to be asked out?

I mean really, what kind of numpty sits around for months waiting for the other person to make the first move?

Ridiculous.

[Red_Dragon]

@MaskerSanity Chicks do that with me. I entertain it. I shouldn't though. I'm sure it pisses them off.

[Red_Dragon]

@MaskedSanity Chicks do that with me. I entertain it. I shouldn't though. I'm sure it pisses them off.

[MaskedSanity]

@Red_Dragon

It's just immature fairytale teenage drama young girls pick up from movies and their peers. In real life people just move on to somebody else, who's actually interested.
A girl doesn't get a free pass for behaving like a tart JUST because she's female. I don't support double standards.

[Red_Dragon]

@MaskedSanity OMG. Yes you understand. That's what I've been saying on here since I've been on here. Polls after polls show that most GAG girls on here are virgins and/or hardly ever get asked out. Not knocking virginity, but those things I think play into why they have this "princess" mindset. I've been called them little princesses for the longest. Right. I don't feel like I should have to "win" her over. If the girl wants a guy she should go get him. If a guy wants the girl he should go get her. The double standard is ridiculous. If everybody had that mindset things would be a lot better. Much less "games" much less "does he/she like me?".

[MaskedSanity]

@Red_Dragon

(Oops, replied in another comment by accident)

Exactly. I've been spoonfed from a young age that guys "ought to" chase girls and that you shouldn't be too eager. Lol what a crock of shit.

When my boyfriend and I exchanged numbers, there was no unwritten rule following of waiting x amount of hours/days before calling/texting. We just replied to each other, very actively stayed in touch, because the attraction was strong and we didn't see any point in restraining. Very awesome relationship to have, when no games are being played by EITHER party. :)

[Red_Dragon]

@MaskedSanity Right some people have it down to a science LOL. I mean it's like "the guy can't text until at least three days later or he'll seem desperate." "He can't ask her this or that." "The girl can't text first. The guy has to initiate everything." It's ridiculous. I'm the type of person who will just say how I feel. That's all I know how to do. I've never gotten into the games. If I feel a certain way and want her to know I'll tell her. Be it bad or good. Communication and connection is the most important thing. Why hide how you truly feel? It's wasting time and it makes for liars and bullshit. Then people wonder why they get cheated on. Though there are many reasons for that not having good communication and expressing how you truly feel about each other is a reason.

[rUinSAYAN]

same as why girls do it. they wonder why things don't go the way they excepted and try something new.
I already did that and it leaded nowhere (actually 2 girls.. but they were bullshit and the other one made out for few days then dropped)

[bubble_tea]

I don't think guys play hard to get.. only women do it.

[bubble_tea]

if they do.. they weren't too interested.

[bubble_tea]

or just very shy and misunderstood

[Red_Dragon]

That 2nd one is me at times.

[bubble_tea]

@Red_Dragon you are very shy? :O goes to show that confidence can't be found in the pants xD

[Red_Dragon]

Hahahahahah yeah 😄.

[bubble_tea]

@Red_Dragon is my adversiting helping you? xD getting tons of fan mails from gagers yet?

[Red_Dragon]

Ha. The only fan mail I get is guys thinking I'm the girl in the pic XD.

[bubble_tea]

@Red_Dragon oh shucks.. maybe they are intimated by your high standard displayed in your pics haha

[Red_Dragon]

Hahahahahah. I actually have low standards, but I do put high standard girls in my avi I guess.

[bubble_tea]

hmmm.. I wonder what you'd rate me with your 'low standards' xD

[Red_Dragon]

Hmmm I don't know LOL!! :P.

[Akernar]

If you dont no girl will be intereted in you... that the truth

[UniqueXD]

Either they are players or just wanna show you what they are made of :)

[KwazyBruhhh]

Because being a challenge is fun and it makes me feel sexy.

[StevenMK249MadMan]

I don't play hard to get its the other way round for me

[lexih2146]

cause they're freaking annoying.

[elman123]

like gurls never do that...

[lexih2146]

the freaking annoying ones do, yes

[athorable]

I always thought girls did that.

[Worldsugliestman]

Why do girls date jerks? And ignore the good guys?

[Asker]

Who said good guys don't play hard to get?

[Worldsugliestman]

They do? Girls find nice/good guys boring and most of the time unattractive.

[Asker]

common misconception. Women don't find nice guys boring unless they are a man. We don't like needy and weak. We like successful, confident and nice at the same time, the problem is that most guys don't understand this and go to the extremes. They think "I need to be a douchebag to get girls" when in reality all you need to do is build your CONFIDENCE and work on yourself.

[Asker]

unless they aren't a man*

[Worldsugliestman]

So in other words you want a rich good looking guy? Confidence doesn't exists unless the guy is a douche bag.

[Asker]

Who said success is about money? Success is figuring out what you want in life and going for what, that not only shows that you are confident in yourself but in your choices too. And yeah most rich guys have got that part figured out which is why women love them.

[βιυεsκγs]

They need to man up and show interest

[Anonymous]

must be dating young guys.