Guys, Why would you play hard to get?

[DishLady]

One of the women I chat with was saying that a guy she know is playing hard to get. I thought it was odd bc to me a guy pursues and a gal allows or doesn't allow the attention. Simple. Traditional. And if the guy isn't simple and traditional then he's just not my guy.

I've also never played hard to get with a guy, so it's hard for me to understand what the guy's motivation to do this would be.

I don't know why the concept of "playing hard to get" seems so odd to me, but I'd love to hear from the guys what your motivation is...

[Summeroflove]

Number one sometimes someone is legitimately not interested but someone plays it off as playing hard to get because they don’t want to accept someone just isn’t interested, the other reasoning playing games hence the name playing hard to get, and the last option is someone whose been hurt before so they’re trying to reject someone before they can reject them.

Other then that people who play hard to get usually cause someone to loose interest if I’m interested in someone I’m going to show it and if it’s one sided for so long I assume either she’s not interested or on the other hand is playing games.

Makes zero sense why people do it besides the reasons I listed. Some people just choose to stay single and act all shocked when someone finally starts to loose interest and find someone who genuinely likes them.

[HawkPerception]

I have never played hard to get. I have always had the bigoted belief that people who play hard to get are immature and less intelligent.

I don't waste time like that. If I like someone, I let them know. I interact with them normally and if they're interesting/find them attractive, then I give them my full attention. I immediately respond to texts when available and don't play games.

And if a girl shows or mentions that she's interested in me (doesn't play games), I'm much more likely to reciprocate the interest and give my full attention than if a girl plays hard to get.

[ProbablyClueless]

Very few guys have good enough social skills to intentionally play hard to get.

It's most likely that that guy is just completely oblivious to what's going on.

On the off chance that he's doing it intentionally, he would play hard to get out of immaturity and wanting to make the woman prove her interest.

[DishLady]

See that’s what I thought (the oblivious) as well, but “hard to get” was the term used and it made me question.

[ProbablyClueless]

I get you... There are definitely guys who have great social skills, but they're quite rare. I don't think your friend is doing herself any favors by assuming that these guys doing anything intentionally.;

[DishLady]

I’ll mention it. Thanks. :)

[worldscolide]

Only time I play hard to get is when she does it.. Only I play impossible to get.. Normally I am a "cards on the table" guy, and what you see is what you get. I don't like playing games like that. The men that do aren't mature enough to be in an adult relationship.

[DishLady]

Fair. in my opinion, if a guy played hard to get I probably would reciprocate with my own “out of reach” status.

[worldscolide]

Nothing wrong with that

[Blunky]

Ego really. It's an ego boost for any guy to be pursued by women. I never understood it myself and I don't pursue women who do this. I don't do it because it feels like I'm taking advantage of the woman's feelings. I'm a bit too direct to let things linger like that.

[Sunrising]

I think what you say is very romantic, the guy chases the girl. That was great when my parents were looking after me. But with all the chores, and holding down a demanding job, visiting parents and friends, hobbies... I'm very sorry I haven't had the time for all that, and probably why I'm single. But can we please have some understanding here?

[DishLady]

So you believe the other person has nothing else to do and should chase you… because you’re busy?

[Sunrising]

When you meet someone you like, it might be weeks before you see them again, even if you go to the same places. Maybe they want a chase or maybe not. Unfortunately I don't have the time to find out.

[OlderAndWiser]

I don't understand people playing games. IF, by chance, it leads to a relationship, it leads to a relationship based on deception and half-truths. When I was dating, if I had a good first date, I told the girl that I really enjoyed the date and wante to see her again. I was a WYSIWYG guy.

[RedThread]

I don't know because I never would. I'm very straightforward. If I like you you'd know and if I dislike you you'd also know pretty quickly.

[Cormac995]

If the guy is playing hard to get it's the first time in my life, I've ever heard of it happening. in my opinion it's more likely he's not playing hard to get he's just not interested and he's trying to be polite but she's not getting it.

[SixFootSexy]

Guys don't play hard to get unless they just don't really want the woman in question. She might end up in a 'sleeper' category, but likely will never end up with a ring on her finger.

[Spencer10]

Playing any games is just stupid. Be honest and upfront. If they do not like the real me then I am not the guy for her. Playing games is a waste of energy.

[Lokiion]

Never played hard to get, but I would assume it's to give a sense of scarcity and just saying she's not his only option or something stupid like that

[exitseven]

I always hated those games and I would never do it.

[BarryLiverstone]

It’s possible that she’s not telling you the whole truth

[DishLady]

She’s pretty solid, Barry.

[BarryLiverstone]

I’m glad that you trust her. But if she’s solid, why would she like a guy who is playing games?

[DishLady]

The heart wants what it wants I guess. It was just casual girl talk about our “guy situations”. I’m sure if she knew she’d be under scrutiny she’d have rephrased or just said nothing.

[BarryLiverstone]

Ya I understand. And my guess is the guy she mentioned is good looking and she’s not the only girl interested. I’m glad she’s not serious about him yk

[beefcakebradybatson]

Maybe, but how hard is it to get a 71-year-old black chap?

[Professor-college]

I don't think any guy ever has to play hard to get because women usually expect us to make the first move

[Anonymous]

I don't play hard to get, but no girl wants me.

[robocop666]

No never this is stupid

[scott04sa22]

Nope, never

[PaleDale]

Immature guys who play games