Should girls/guys play hard to get?

Question

Bandit74 · Accepted Answer

It can work, but for me its a turn off.

I know the same girl who is hard to get for me and expects me to pay for dates and wait over a month for sex has probably sent nudes to random guys on tinder and/or had sex on the first date with guys who didn’t have to put in a fraction of the effort she is expecting from me.

So knowing that, I just don't feel any motivation to try and impress a girl who is playing hard to get with me. Realistically she probably doesn't see me as being as desirable as the guys she was easy to get for and I don't want to waste my time on a girl who perceives me as being of lower quality compared to the guys she hooked up with.

skype1000 · Accepted Answer

No. By the way, there are many that don't play hard to get. So, say if a female isn't interested in the guy, that guy might think she is just playing hard to get. But in reality she just wasn't interested and just didn't tell him that either, for whatever reason. Keep in mind that many times females don't want to face confrontation when it comes to that. Funny enough, these same females could become interested in that same guy, because he was so persistent and she just let things flow and they became a couple. But, my thought is just be your self. Another person shouldn't have to be earned. It defeats the 50/50 equal. Problems can arise later on.

lyannamormont · Accepted Answer

Personally next time I will be regular stupid woman who doesn't put anything on the table but sex, who is not bold and make the first move or multiple moves to show interest, who doesn't go for what she wants, who cannot pay for her share in a date, who needs a ride to everywhere, who holds for sex until 6 months to cover what she lacks, who plays mind games.

Because that's what American men want I noticed after being single for two years and dating American guys in the last 6 months. They (many) dont have respect for strong women.

mnkyd090 · Accepted Answer

I honestly think girls should play hard to get. It adds more interest to the chase of the wild hunt. It is the same thing as getting a bunch of free money you did nothing to work for, you are bound to still feel unsatisfied, cause you never worked for it. Right now a girl I know is playing hard to get from me, but everyday I like her more and more. But, there is a limit on how far one takes "playing hard to get."

Angelzplay85 · Accepted Answer

Whats the point? if you like a guy you might as well do everything to get him and keep him. Playing hard to get is just a mental game. Like dangling fruit in front of a hungry man. Maybe some girls think they need to play hard to get to keep from being looked at as a "slut".

GuyAdviceFromGuy · Answer

No, I hate it when women play hard to get. It's childish, annoying, confusing, and immature. I like girls that call when they say they will, pick up the phone when I call, text back right away and make the effort to initiate calls and texts themselves. I like girls that don't flake on dates, and if they are interested they send clear concise signals. I find most women in my age group don't play games. At some point you just become mature and realize the games are just stemming from your own insecurity, like a defense mechanism of preventing yourself from getting or feeling hurt if things don't work out. Once your mature, you stop playing games and stop fearing rejection because by that time, you know who you are and what you want.

cth96190 · Answer

No, girls should not play hard to get.
In an era when approaching a female more than once can (and most likely will) result in a sexual harassment complaint that will end someone's education or career, it would be an incredibly stupid young man who pursued a female.
A male should ask once. If the answer is no, or maybe, move on and do not revisit that desolate place of rejection.
Further, men are not equipped to play female mind games. We do not understand them. Women need to be aware that if they want us to know something they need to tell us. Do not expect any man to know something because he should have picked it up clairvoyantly.
If you want us to know, freaking tell us and tell us directly.
Because of the current legal and social environment, a woman who plays hard to get is going to be an old maid.

BlueCoyote · Answer

No, that's silly and immature. If you like somebody, tell him/her. Playing hard to get is just another way of saying "playing with other people's feelings" and "wasting other people's time".

think_logic85 · Answer

Whats the point of playing too hard to get when you obviously like each other, ini the beginning stages I understand that when you are not familiar with each other, but if this cat & mouse is game is going on for months, then it's a definitive no.

If you have to play games like these to define your worth in relationships, the chances are that you aren't mature yet to be in one.

DerbyPi · Answer

Personally, I think it’s counterproductive to play games like that. You don’t have to bend over backwards for someone, but your main motivation for a specific behavior shouldn’t be to “hook” someone or make yourself supposedly appear more desirable to them.

Dargil · Answer

If I sense it, I will take it as a no. I had this happen and simply moved on without comment. If she texted me, I just responded with the same tepidness she was using to keep me hooked but at a distance. And she became enraged (enraged, I tell you) that I had booked myself elsewhere and neither clutched for nor dismissed her. Hard to get is a stupid play. I do not have time resources and effort to waste on it. I don't care how good you think you are.

purplesparkle · Answer

I guess some people like the chase, but I don't get it. If I'm into someone I will tell and show it as clear as I can so he won't get the wrong idea.

BCRanger10 · Answer

No. It's just silly, immature, and you run the risk of truly alienating someone you would actually want to be with.

Anonymous · Answer

Girls always think they should play hard to get.
Guys tell them it doesn't work and is counter productive.

But girls insist on doing it.

The reason they do, is because THAT'S WHAT WORKS ON GIRLS.

So the counter-intuitive answer, is that guys should play hard to get sometimes.
And girls never should.

Aconfusedguy90 · Answer

I think for women, yes,

if a guy is to truly like you then he will work for you and fight through difficulties, this way you are also judging how serious he is about the relationship, a guy looking for sex for example isn't going to chase you for 6 months

Although nowadays women are 'empowered' meaning they can pursue the guy but the guy can't pursue them due to fear of harassment, you can thank Feminism.

LinkxPeach · Answer

Depends on the situation the guy/girl is in. If the person ain't seeking to get in a relationship right now then they should play hard to get. If the guy/girl have a reason to not go out with the girl/guy because they focusing on their careers, trying to get laid, etc. Then, they should play hard to get.

natured · Answer

Playing hard do get is so easy to see, if somebody is REALLY trying not to get fool you don't play hard to get, you just show him that you don't trust him and that he better work it up to convince me ...

Anonymous · Answer

It depends. It's one thing if she is selective about guys as opposed to throwing herself at every dude interested. But if she's constantly playing hard to get and plays mind games past the first or second date then it's irritating and stressful as fuck. I have no patience for it.

I don't play hard to get. I'm not too available but I'm not gonna bullshit if I'm free on a day and she is.

Blonde401 · Answer

No. I don't understand why it's so hard for people to just act like they like each other!

Nightinggale · Answer

Sure, if they so please. I know I will have no part in it, that's for sure.

puertoriguesa · Answer

I view it more as being cautious and protecting self from getting hurt rather than playing hard to get... we have to guard ourselves unless we want to fall hard and get f***ed over... a person with good intentions will stick around

deraz24 · Answer

To me it's an unnecessary game, if you like someone and they like you say/show it they might get the wrong idea and move on completely bc you're playing lol

EmpatheticLady · Answer

No one should play hard to get. If you like someone, show it. If you don't like them, move on. Just don't act crazy and be all over someone right away, even if you are really interested.

Words_and_Wisdom · Answer

Be congruent. If you like a guy, show that you do. Tell him that you do. Doing the opposite is outright stupid.

LittleSally · Answer

I say 'no', but in reality most people are afraid of the direct approach - or they're so taken aback they don't give themselves time to think, they just say 'no'...

saya93 · Answer

No, I dont like playing games or being played like that, you either tell me your interested or you can go take your hard to get attitude with another girl.

DiamondRuby · Answer

I fucking hate it, but it seems to be how everyone is now, and coming on too strong or easily is a turn off.

Vivianespinoza · Answer

No I hate this I'm already so bad at telling if a guy likes me or not

mooky06 · Answer

I see no purpose in any gender participating in "playing hard to get" games.

steveguitar · Answer

No, dumbest thing imagined next to using jealousy and beating around the bush. All used by girls, usuallly

Robin48 · Answer

If both of them are real, caring, loving, understand and no fake that they will be friends. If your heart is correct. Your relationship will bond in love. No self center.

Superchick123 · Answer

No. What's the point of playing hard to get? You're just making it hard on one another. Do you want a relationship or do you want to just play games?

Bubblemilktae · Answer

Dont play hard to get (it's kind of lying to yourself) but don't be so easy (that people could trick or fool you) be smart and get in the centre of the two options

beefcake2000 · Answer

no dont play games, if u like each other, just make it happen

Imhotep99 · Answer

If they want to, they can. But it's a big turn off for me and I'll have nothing to do with them.

guy366 · Answer

No. Why is it that we always resort to these stupid games... no one should have to guess that the other person likes them or not. Especially when its mutual. Being straight and honest shouldn't be that hard.

Anonymous · Answer

When I realize a woman is playing hard to get, I'm out. There's nothing worse than a woman who plays head games. It tells me all I ever need to know about her.

JamesBond001 · Answer

guys should play hard to get. I see guys too desperate these days and running after girls all the time.

writing_essays · Answer

Yes!!! Neither men nor woman like people that are easy to get.

ovixs90 · Answer

I think its already hard to get girls so if you make it more difficult I think most of you will stay single. Already many guys this days are more shy and find it hard to hit on girls

art84 · Answer

I like it at first but if a girl continues doing it, I find it annoying depending on what the girl does. As a guy, I have never played hard to get a girl or would even bother doing it.

ThePetSquirrel · Answer

I don't want to, and I don't like when girls play it with me. If I'm interested, I let the lady know; and I'd hope they would do the same if the feeling was mutual.

GingerGuy · Answer

It's never worked on me. The first "no", I'm done no matter how much I like her.

AleDeEurope · Answer

If you wanna end up alone... that's how you do it.

NexyPL · Answer

Lol how can guys even play hard to get when girls don't even "get" or ask guys 😂

DesertFox11 · Answer

Nobody should but females have a tendency to do it.

Anonymous · Answer

They shouldn't have to. But they do have to play hard to get in order to be desired, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that. Not fair, but that's life.

alice55 · Answer

They already do and it ll be easier if they didn't

Iraqveteran666 · Answer

Yes definitely. The only man that should "get" her is her husband.

ladsin · Answer

No I think playing games is dumb

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Playing or acting hard to get usually backfires unless you're actually hard to get.

nameus3r · Answer

If they want to better their chances of being desired, yes.

Mr-Kabuki · Answer

it sucks balls but kinda make it feel like a real achievment. its okay at first but has to stop eventually

datgirl · Answer

I don't play hard to get. I just am hard to get.. seriously.

Anonymous · Answer

I have ended relationships over this bullshit. Girls it doesn't work. People do not like to be toyed with.

April10 · Answer

Who plays games? Grow up

vekin · Answer

i don't like these kind of games

MisterSir · Answer

do as you please... just don't expect everyone to play the dumb chase game ;)

KatherineJ · Answer

Relationships aren't a game.

FaithfulGuardian · Answer

Only bitches do, not women.

OrionH · Answer

Playing hard to get is so immature no one should

Melee · Answer

Playing hard to get is just... childish.

luvstoned4him · Answer

Yes a little bit in the beginning.

Kirah · Answer

No. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes.

krisvondee · Answer

well we don't want to be shown as "easy" so yeah

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