Why do girls play hard to get?

Question

Also why do they play hard to get if the guy already knows she likes him?

hisangel · Accepted Answer

I just decided to post another comment instead of respond in the little comment box cause that thing drives me crazy how small it is.

I don't see any harm in either waiting till the break is over or doing it now. But I do see a benefit if you wait till it's over cause you can think about what you want to say and she will probably be expecting a conversation at the end of it anyway. If you do it then it would be like saying "These are my terms". Plus, if you call her one day out of the blue and she doesn't see it coming it could end up being a bad day for her already. Then she will just think you are being insensitive to her bad day as opposed to knowing on a certain date the two of you are meeting up again. She can kind of prepare herself for whatever is about to happen. But you could always talk to her early and say that you want to be with her again so you want to talk about this now.

I was just reading over your comments again and one thing I noticed that I didn't the first time is that I think you are getting the impression she doesn't want you around but then you feel like she likes you too so it's confusing. I cannot explain this behavior cause as I've aged I realize how insane it is but sometimes girls push to see if a guy will stay. She may not want you around for whatever reason, I can't be sure, but you are not the first guy to ask "Does she even like me?! Why is she staying with me?!" Sometimes women can be real bitches and we don't even know why we are doing it. We got this belief somewhere along the way that men are supposed to conform to what we want and if they don't we throw fits. We throw fits cause they join our event, go the banquet, and a million other reasons. The man I am with now was the first guy who made me realize I do it and how bad it is because when I throw one he pulled away, just like you did. He did it when we were still friends but he would get very quiet with me and I could tell it got to him. I finally realized it's not acceptable behavior and I cringe at how many men I have done that to in my young, inexperienced life. Especially when I was a teenager. Oh brother, you are definitely dealing with a women in the worst part of her life! Never say this to her but I'm sure the irrational behavior is off the charts!

So I think you are doing the right thing because you are showing her that she doesn't get to treat you however she likes. She wants someone to love her and so do you. I can't say she will respond to your conversation with any kind of rational behavior and I must say you are a braver man then most to try and take on a teenage girl! :) But I do think if she is acting this way, she does need to be shown that other people have feelings too. Because that seems to be the issue here. People are only required to put up with the fallout of the pain we are in to a point. Then they have every right to tell us to get our act together cause now they are hurting us just as much as they got hurt.

hisangel · Accepted Answer

I can't tell from your responses if you guys are actually dating and she doesn't seem as committed as you would like or if you guys are just friends and you want to date her but she is playing hard to get.

Either way, I think Nataliee said it best that we really do need reassurance that the guy really wants us. Guys don't express their emotions like we do so we are constantly trying something to drag out an emotion. We want to make sure that you care about us, not just want sex or are going to leave in a month or two.

It takes a woman a while to realize that a guy showing up when he said he would or calling you every night are signs that he really likes you. We like hearing feelings, not just seeing them. So when we are young a guy just walking us home from school doesn't seem like a sign he likes you, it just seems like he wants to be your friend. She is probably too young to realize a guy getting close to you almost never wants to be just friends. So I think you might need to tell her how you feel if you really do think she likes you.

If she is sweet and you can tell she has a good heart, she probably isn't playing hard to get as much as trying to make sure she doesn't give her heart to you and then watch you walk off with it in a month. A good girl is going to protect her heart at all costs and it will take a lifetime to truly earn it completely. On the other hand, if she is shallow, you can tell she loves to cause drama, and seems a little manipulative, she is probably just playing games for an ego stroke. She likes the feeling of a guy chasing her. But from what you've said about her in your responses, it sounds a little bit more like she is jaded to kindness and love right now, maybe doesn't trust it if her best friend hurt her, and you are going to need to give her time. She may just need to heal a little from the wound a loved one caused her. And if you are there for her, that will definitely help her trust you and open up to you. Cause it will show her that you want her and not just a girlfriend.

shayshay94 · Accepted Answer

then she is just playing with you and she might know that she is leading you on but she probly tries not to do it lots of guys have told me that they like me and I don't know what I did to lead them on but the problem is if she says that she likes you and still plays hard to get then just move on or ignor her and see where it ends from there and tell her if you like me then stop putting up a gard lol but she might have also been hurt in a previous relationship so talk to her that is the only way to have a good relationship with a loved one is to communicate it is the key!

Robertinho · Accepted Answer

Because most girls are dumb and they don't know what they have infront of them until they finally loose it for good. Its alright to play hard to get, but geez!, most of them put you through hell just so you could take them out on a little coffee date. Damn, I don't mind begging if she's worth it, but come on, your dignity comes first no matter what. Watch out my friend, some girls hide  their true evil colors on the inside, be careful and good luck. Nevertheless, there are some few good ones still left, if you find one, don't be a damn fool and let them go, because those types of girls don't exist no more good luck man.

Xenophobia · Accepted Answer

Any girl who plays hard to get doesn't deserve a guy at all.  Any guy who plays games on a girl doesn't deserve a girl either.

Nataliee · Answer

The best answer I can think of for this is that its like "testing" a guy, to see how much they like you. If a guy is really into you then he should be able to put up with a certain amount of a girl playing hard to get. If a guy isn't that into you, then he's more likely to just give up on a girl playing hard to get. So in a way, some girls play hard to get because they want to make sure you really like them and won't just leave them unexpectedly.

If a girl is playing hard to get for too long though, I think that's quite disrespectful and could be a sign they don't like you that much

kittycat933 · Answer

The girl doesn't always know if the guy knows she likes him.  Anyway, a girl will play hard to get for two reasons that I have observed:  She has fun playing 'the dating game' which is really innocent and is there to spark up your feelings.  Or, she might have some lower self-confidence and wants to make sure to the tenth power that you really are interested in her and not fooling around - maybes he wants to see how much you like her, girls (when they truly like a guy) love to see a guy go above and beyond to get her attention.

CuddlyCarla · Answer

First off, I don't do this. However, I know people who do, and it's my guess that some girls play hard to get to see if a guy truly likes them and to see how persistent they may be in trying to get them. Girls like men who are dominant, meaning they are going to do what it takes once they see what they want. I think it's sort of a cavewoman thing, like some biological inner remnant that determines if a guy is the type who is going to be able to handle challenges and stay with it. I think they try to see it as a sign that the man may have long-term potential because it might be some indicator he'll be able to 'weather the storm' in crisis situations and be a problem-solver. That's my inner psychologist's guess.

dakota102 · Answer

i wouldn't say its playing hard to get. if the guy knows then it just makes the girl that much move nervous and shy to talk to him or be around him. that's if he hasn't told her how he feels about her. so she basically wants you to make the next move, now that you know how she feels, what are you gonna do...

Lundy18 · Answer

because it's fun to make you work for it. ha ha also, like other girls have mentioned, we like to make sure that the guy is actually interested, so if we act like we don't like them and make them chase us, we can be more sure that the dude is into us and not embarrass ourselves or something.  Also, if the girl doesn't like the guy, they might not be playing anything, they might just not be interested at that moment.

kierstenmarie14 · Answer

Because if you havnt noticed boys want what they can't have so if the girls make it a challenge the boys will try harder to get them..maybe she does like you but maybe she wants to make sure you won't stop likeing her! and another reason is because its a lot of fun! if you don't want her to play hard to get then join them game and do it back she won't like how it feels!

dontaskwhy · Answer

i notice that when I crush on someone and I think their crushing on me I play hard to get, its in me I don't do it on purpose, its kinda how I flirt and I can't help it

when I do play hard to get it usually because deep down I want to know for sure if he does like me or not.

Anonymous · Answer

I think we play hard to get because we can be insecure. Sometimes it's a control thing but a lot of the time (IMO), we are pretty much used to guys getting bored or distracted really fast so we want to stay interesting or mysterious. Hence, the stupid games.

IStarrr · Answer

It's like sex: you can get down to it right away and be over in 2 minutes, or you can touch all the right spots and prolong the pleasure.

Chase, teasing and flirting are like spice to the relationship )

gagaforu · Answer

we don't want to appear to needy for you. and we just want you to want us back so if you keep flirting and stuff we just get more intrested in you. even if you know that we like you we as girls just love the feeling of being wanted.

just_me_93 · Answer

she wants to get the guys attention. she wants to make him like her more. its hard to tell if a guys interested so we tend to lead them on a bit and really see if they go for it before going for them

Reeses-pieces777 · Answer

i dont' play hard to get. I like being honest up front. I get a lot of dishonest guys and I appreciate guys who are honest. I don't play games but I hear some guys like it when a girl plays games.

Anonymous · Answer

sorry.. I know I'm supose to dgive you an advice or whatsoever but... I have a question:

if a guy knows that a girl likes him then the girl starts to be shy and all... and "play hard to get", does it still mean that the guy likes her?

angiemel · Answer

Because SHE doesn't know if HE likes HER, so to know, we make you chace us, if you follow the chase, we know you like us and sometimes for reals :D

Skybaby0214 · Answer

Because she wants him to show her that she likes him! She wants him to chase after her, because she wants to feel special.

crrazaylove · Answer

because I like to know that a guy is working to get me. Not just talking to him for five minutes then heading to the bedroom.

bringing_sexyback · Answer

well surely it's more interesting to find out stuff about her and get to know her gradually rather than her laying it on a plate?

Anonymous · Answer

Because girls do have pride and don't like to put themselves out there to get rejected if they don't know how the guy they like feels about them.

CurlyBlonde · Answer

I realize some of my friends play hard just to act cool, so...

kellystafford · Answer

Guys like the thrill of the chase :P  Girls like the thrill of being chased haha

slykid92 · Answer

They want to make it more tougher to get also she probably protective and wants get to know you.

COSMO585 · Answer

I'm a girl, I do this a lot. We, I guess, want to see if the guy will chase after us. We'll use one word replies sometimes to see if HE continues the conversation, walk away and see if he follows you...ya know?

skblondiebaby · Answer

we like to to do that because a lot of guys want what they can't have and have proven to respond most to that. she thinks she is leaving you confused if you don't like her tell her you know she likes you and she can drop the act

sweet_honey · Answer

They don't want to be too available.  If you knew you had her, would you feel the need to make her like you?

jjf481993 · Answer

Because we want the guy to be interested back. And more importantly, STAY interested.

rakar · Answer

to see if the guy like us but really we just wana f***

siberchic · Answer

cause they're trying to turn him on. they think it's hot or whatever. let her em know that you don't want that

brazeaumarissa · Answer

to see if the guys actually into me for me.. or into me for a hoook up.. seeing how long he chases is how I determine what he wants..

taylorjuve · Answer

to see how much he likes her/ to see how far he will go to get her

kimmie29612 · Answer

Girls play hard to get so we can get attention from the guy we like.

up4nething89 · Answer

because it just makes us guys want them more man

mekaforeva · Answer

they don't want to appear easy

Why do girls play hard to get?

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