Some are bullsh*tting you. Some won't even play hard-to-get in the first place. But we're all taught that it's what we have to do in order to get/keep a guy/s interest. Common dating advice tells us so, the articles in Cosmo tell us so, the whole freakin world tells us so. And sometimes it takes us a while to figure out that it's not always the best way.
It also depends on what you call 'hard-to-get.' Maybe she's simply making sure you know that she has her own life and can't just take her for granted etc. I personally wouldn't want a guy who wasn't willing to make an effort for me, and so I wouldn't just lap up everything he gives me, even if I really like him. I want to be sure he's serious about it first, not just screwing around with ME.
But there are girls who'll do it for the ego boost as well. If a girl knows she's hot and likes the attention, she might just let you think there's a chance meanwhile not putting any real effort in (ie, playing hard-to-get) just because she likes the fact that there are guys out there willing to chase her.
There are also shy girls who perhaps just don't want to seem clingy or whatever, even if you think you're making it obvious that you like her. Perhaps she's afraid you only like her BECAUSE she hasn't showed any obvious interest so far, and that if she does, you'll stop liking her. Maybe she wasn't all that interested to start with but now she is and thinks you only liked her when she was 'difficult.'
There are all kinds of reasons. But the easy way to deal with it, whatever the reason, is to simply ask her straight out - 'do you even like me, or are you just bullsh*tting me? Cause I don't take no bullsh*t from no prima donnas!' Seriously, works a treat ;) tell her you'd like for her to give you a chance and SHOW that she really likes you, or make it clear that she doesn't so that you can move on.
It depends on your definition. For example, if I'm dating a guy, and he makes it clear he has no social calendar or life at all and wants to date five times in one week, I will absolutely not pursue him. He will come across as needy, desperate, or as someone without a healthy social life. There is something to be said for patience and moderation, waiting to see someone builds up mystery and anticipation and a strong yearning for their presence. If a guy or girl makes themselves too available all the time, especially in the very beginning, they will easily be taken for granted. In that respect, if you mean hard-to-get meaning she doesn't hang out with you every second, I think this is a good trait. A healthy person will want to have their own life and will want you to as well. Other than that, I do not get the hard-to-get thing, but as a woman, I'd guess perhaps it might be some kind of test as to how much you like them. Or, they just aren't interested. I don't play those games, though.
Ok, I just answered a really similar question. So I'll use part of my answer here. Hope it gives you a bit more insight.
A girl will usually only play hard to get when she is interested in the guy, if not why would she be wasting her time playing the game at all? Its not easy playing hard to get, because usually you don't want to be hard to get at all. If you like the guy, you want to be with him 24/7. However, sometimes the girl feels like its necessary when she actually wants something more serious, like a relationship (from my experience it is always necessary in this case). This is because a guy will loose interest if she's really easy, and he doesn't have to do the hunt (i.e. chase after her). Why would he value something that was so easy for him to get
Not all women play hard to get. My understanding is most women want a guy to pursue them because it shows that they care enough to try. On another note, we don't appreciate what’s free. If you work your ass off to get a girl you’re going to appreciate her that much more when you do get her.
MY opinion, not yours.
Cheers
Not all girls but plenty of them do, many are shy and find it hard to talk about the simple things with the men they like..
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the only thing "all girls" have in common is that we have vaginae. that's it.
personally I don't think of myself as playing hard to get, but I am not definitely not easy to get either. I don't consciously play games with a guy but I want to know how serious a guy is about being with me and what his intentions are. I'm not one of those girls you can call thursday night at 7pm and ask me to hang out with you and think I'm going to do it. if a guy wants to be with me, I want him to put in enough effort to show that he thinks I am worth going hard for, and I'm not just *something to do*. I have my guard up but that's just to keep out the riff raff.
I wouldn't say all girls play hard to get. I would say many younger girls think that this is the way to get guys, but as they mature and become more confident they stop playing those games. However, I would say that there are definitely groups of girls who no matter their age will come off as playing hard to get. For instance, a girl that is still getting over past relationships will keep her guard up if she is afraid of getting hurt again. Or girls that are shy sometimes come off as playing hard to get because they are shy and a lot of times shy girls are much more shy around guys that they like.
Don't think that only girls play hard to get...i think that guys/girls play hard to get because they think maybe it will attract the guy or girl more..but there's always a point where the games should stop...if your sick of the games flat out tell the girl you don't play games and your not a big fan of them either, usually if the guy says that it will make the girl realize if they like you enough they will stop.
I don't play hard to get because I am afraid it would make the guy think I don't like him.
because in many cases, if a girl acts interested in a guy he's all of a sudden not as interested in her. When girls play hard to get they get what they want.
Here's the thing. Guys and girls both believe that reationships are "games". It sucks but so many people play them. I would say jstbe honest and ask her/tell her what you are thinking. Don't beat around the bush, because you could spend your whole life waiing for an answer that you may never get.
everybody hates loves games. but we have to play them or the other person will get interested. playing hard to get is sooo common.
Not all girls and some girls naturally act shy and come off that way.
Shyness can be confused with playing hard to get too.
Some are simply hard to get, won't settle unless he has proved that he worth it!
Tho who don't are called "sluts" (which isn't honest and spoils life for everyone)
they feel like they have too. it's an appreciation thing, if you can't get her, you'll appreciate her MORE when and if you do, but if we made it easy for you, you wouldn't be nearly as appreciative.
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