Girls: Why the "bad guys?" Seriously...

Question

Girls openly admit that they NEED a nice guy, but they WANT a bad boy... Even if they always break their hearts.

But why do you want a bad boy? What do they do for you exactly? I mean its cool to be dating some drugged up loser, or just an idiot in general that isn't respectful to those around him, someone that will, in some way, abuse his GF?

These "bad boys" aren't men... They're selfish and immature. A real man would always be there for his lady, treat her (and people in general) with respect and just be an all-round good guy.

I mean what attracts you to a guy with a p*ss-poor attitude, or a guy on drugs or whatever in the first place? What's wrong with a good, nice guy? Even good looking nice guys have a hard time with attracting a girl.

I don't understand... I'm just sick of being the friend and not the BF. And its like I'm just living a good, clean, normal life, and no love for me. I'm 19, completely sober, very nice and respectful of those around me, I don't act like an idiot... And I've never had a GF. I don't get what I'm doing wrong.

I hope all my pain and suffering will be worth it because it seems like I can't get any decent girls to like me. I feel totally undesirable, and to me, for what seems like no reason at all.

DrJones · Accepted Answer

This question comes up all the time. Part of the problem is unclear language: most girls (and guys) who say they don't like nice guys (and girls) are using the word "nice" to mean weak, scared, or passive-agressive. Girls who say they like nice guys usually think "nice" means affectionate, considerate, or chivalrous. Other posters noted that "good boy" is sometimes (mis-)used as a synonym for pushover.

This isn't always the case - there are, of course, people who only date assholes. In some places, girls like that are very common because that's what's expected of them. In your case, I'm guessing you're meeting really immature girls due to your age and job/school, and possibly also that you also live in some inbred village in an ass-backwards state or country. (Does it sound like I've been there before?) The best way to deal with a situation like that is to move away and don't look back.

I lived in a redneck hellhole where girls were expected to date fat, abusive, drunk guys. Several of them were "saving nice guys like me for marriage." Here's how that plan worked out: I moved thousands of miles away and had fantastic sex with girls much smarter than them. They married fat, abusive drunk guys and got knocked up. Great plan, ladies. See you on PeopleOfWalMart.com someday!

Personally, the moment I hear some girl talk about how much she likes "bad boys," I mentally note that she's too stupid to date. Usually I'll ignore her, which p*sses her off. If it amuses me, I'll act like a jackass to her just to get her worked up. I'm not bluffing, of course - I genuinely don't like her. Then I'll cut her off and never speak to her again (before or after sex, depending on how clean I think she is).

As for girls who like "nice guys," well, where's the fun in being an ass to someone who likes nice guys? I make them dinner and go on dates and do fun stuff and it's great. Nice-guy-liking-girls, I tip my glass to you. Have some more champagne and then we can go take a shower together. Maybe someday I'll be lucky enough to marry one of you.

In short, I like to mix up my strategies. It's not for everyone, though... I just get a kick out of abusing abusive people. For practice, find some more of these good vs. bad threads and leave insulting comments to all the retards who like Bad Boys :D

bobair · Accepted Answer

You're trying to manipulate women, that's why you're single and alone.

It's got nothing to do with being "nice." You're not being nice, you're being fake and insincere.

The fake "nice guys" make me sick!

Here's the difference between the typical lonely "nice guy" who scares women away, and the "ass hole" jerk that get's the girl.

"Nice guy" acts nice, buys her gifts, and is willing to let her walk all over him. Why? Because he wants her to like him back. This is real manipulation. He's basically saying "I think you're a goddess and I'm willing to do anything for you. And in exchange I expect you to thank me for my efforts, and to date me." Why not pay a hooker for her attention, it's the same thing.

"Bad Boys" don't try to manipulate women. And they don't let women push them around. They have real boundaries and expectations. They're jerks but at least they're honest about it. It's this strange authenticity that is "at first" very attractive to many women. It's thier "I want things my way" that draws women to them. Most women know that these guys are not long term material, but they're fun at first.

So why get mad at these guys? The "nice guys" can learn something from these guys. Just be yourself, and stop trying to say "the right thing" that will make her like you. Stop trying to manipulate women into doing what you want.

Be nice because you like people, not because you WANT something.

How can you tell your motivations?

Do something nice for a girl, but then don't expect anything in return.

Ask a girl out, but don't expect her to drop her pants just because you gave her a compliment.

Will you be friendly with the 80 year old woman at the grocery store? If so, you're truly a nice dude. If you're only nice to hot chicks, because you're hoping they'll like you too, then you're a douchebag.

Learn how to be "nice" without expecting anything in return, while ALSO not allowing women to walk all over you, and you'll instantly find that women will respond to you just as much as they do to those "bad boys."

~ Robby

My Blog ( link )

CuddlyCarla · Accepted Answer

First off, girls aren't attracted to guys that are whiney and victim-y, in other words everything in your post. They aren't attracted to people who blame others for their problems or inability to get women. So I would advise your first step to be to lose the chip on your shoulder and understand what's really going on here. Secondly, women aren't attracted to bad people. If anything, they would prefer a good guy. What you are clearly missing here is the qualities that edgy people tend to have which is what attracts women. "Nice" and "Shy" are pleasant words people use to describe what is actually "fear". Women aren't attracted to fearful people, especially those afraid of them. What a "bad" boy probably has that attracts women that a "nice" guy doesn't is that he isn't afraid of her. He will go right up to her, approach her with confidence and assertiveness, and define what he wants. He won't make himself look like a friend and then complain when she sees him as one. You define how you want yourself to be perceived. If all you get is the friendship card, than that's how you are trying to sell yourself and it isn't working. Be confident, be assertive, look her in the eye, maintain open body language, have mutual conversation, don't procrastinate in asking her out or defining your wants and the future of the situation, stand up for yourself, and stand up for the girl. THAT'S what nice guys or shy guys never do. They never make a move and then complain when the ship sails. What does anyone expect is going to happen when they hang around in the background?!

Bananachick · Accepted Answer

As a women, this subject p*sses me off big time because my man was used for emotional support by women who wanted to keep him around but would always give him the "friends" line.

These dumb girls would always go for BAD men who hurt them, then came whining to my baby. And my baby (being the sweet wonderful man he is) would be there for him despite their rejection of him! He was getting hurt too much, and I'm lucky he didn't give up or I'd be alone right now. It's just not fair.

I get so mad about this because these needy chicks are turning all the nice guys into bitter woman-haters!

In my dating life I met SO MANY guys who USED to be nice but became jerks because they got hurt or because they thought that's what women wanted. And you know what? It's not fair to a girl like me who APPRECIATES THE NICE GUY!

TO THE ASKER: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DON'T CHANGE. There ARE girls out there who appreciate the nice guy; we're just few and far between. Nice guys are a rare treasure, and the "friends" treatment is killing them off and an alarming rate! You're an endangered species!

My man is 32 years old, and had to live those years being the "friend" before finding someone who was smart enough to see him as more! Don't give up, or you're going to leave you're true soul mate out there all alone in the world. For her sake, don't give up! She's out there!

chicalicious · Accepted Answer

What girls at this age want is a wild guy someone who we can experiment with. We like the nice guys adn we watn to keep them for until we're ready to settle down. The girls want to have fun and enjoy ourselfs and get heart-broken by guys we know in a way we won't last with because we eventually expect too much of them and then that's the end of it. Like guys have sex with the most slutiest girls they can because they know it won't last the maximum it'll be will be 1 week. My advice to you is don't change and enjoy some other girls while you can until your ready to setlle down with HER.

appleshampoo · Answer

Here's an article written by a close friend of mine for my website. This will help you out and answer your question.

Why Women Go For Jerks

You wonder why, and what could she possibly see in him? We ask ourselves this question every time we see it. Why do the most beautiful women always go for the jerks?

The answer is quite simple. They have something that the rest do not. That special thing they have may be limited, yet it is enough for them to have success. In the end, he never ends up keeping her. Only moving onto the next unfulfilling relationship and she is left heart broken.

The cycle of unhappiness continues. So what exactly does the Jerk do correctly? The jerk is able to show a few alpha male qualities. Non-Neediness, Dominance, he values himself.

We are only attracted to those who we view as equal or greater than value to us. The jerk is able to create attraction by over inflating himself and bringing those down around him. This is unhealthy. He keeps the girl around by making her feel like she can't get anyone else because her value is shot down so low and he over inflates his own.

Dominance is a quality that the jerk share’s with the Alpha Male. The jerk displays dominance because he views women as nothing more than sh*t. A piece of ass. Since he feels he is so much better than them he is able to conquer them easily and not care. Dominance and a certain level of aggression is an attractive trait that he does possess. It is positive because it shows strong leadership in hard times and his ability to protect her.

Non-Neediness is one of the last main and few qualities that the jerk does share with the Alpha Male. The Alpha Male doesn't need to beg or ask for anything from the girl. He knows he can already get it, so it is not THAT big of a deal. The jerk just doesn't care either. The beta-male never gets anything so he is always begging for it. So the more the Alpha and the jerk get the less they beg and thus the more they get. While the less the beta-male gets, the more he is desperate and begs for scraps or what ever he can get. This behavior as we all know is unattractive.

So the Alpha and the Jerk are in positive reinforcing cycles of getting laid, while the beta is stuck in a downward helpless spiral of misery and masturbation.

Self-Value is something that both the Alpha male and jerk have, they have a sense of there own value.

The Alpha knows who he is, and where he stands. He is a man who stands with confidence. This is a very attractive trait. The jerk has an over inflated sense of self value. He thinks that he is "the sh*t" and that he is better than everyone else. Since attraction is created by having an equal or higher value to someone else, he manages to create attraction in an unhealthy way.

This is only half of the article, I don't have enough characters to add the rest of it. Find the link to my website in my profile, click Articles, then Why Women Go For Jerks by Big Q under Inner Game Articles

DrJones · Answer

I was in kind of the same situation years ago, and here's what worked pretty well for me.

1. Move to a place where the girls aren't all stupid. This may require going to college and/or getting a real job. I read a post here the other day about a girl whose friends wouldn't date a guy because he didn't drive a truck. If you live in one of those sh*tholes, leave ASAP. You have almost zero chances with anyone there anyway.

2. Get good at figuring out which girls like "bad boys." Blow them off and don't give them any attention. (Or, if you're the vengeful type: be a total piece of sh*t to them, then dump them. Be careful about actually f***ing any of them because they are more likely to have diseases from their douchebag ex-boyfriends.) Try not to be too judgmental about anyone's sexual preferences, but... c'mon, it's usually pretty obvious when a girl is attracted only to jerks.

3. Actively look for girls who aren't into "bad boys." Here are some signs:

- not illiterate; is more or less aware of immediate surroundings, local & world events

- has a sense of empathy for fellow human beings

- has graduated high school and doesn't look back on it as "her best years"

- girls who are smart and/or good at something are more likely to want a non-jerk

- and, of course, she acts interested in you when you *don't* act like a jackass

Good hunting!

KatMcC · Answer

I wish that the self righteous "nice guys" would stop ranting about this.

Firstly, I'm not sure why you're lumping all of these so called bad boys in with drug users and woman beaters. That's a very extreme situation you're describing and the girl in question probably isn't stable if that's what she's actively seeking out in a partner.

However, for most, normal, girls, here's the deal: it isn't about being a good or bad boy. It's about confidence. On some primal, subconscious level, girls find a certain allure with guys that are outgoing and have a big character. The guys that have these personalities often turn out to be the "asshole frat boy" type. Not all of them, not even most of them, but a good enough number to create the stereotype. The sidelined nice guy friend doesn't assert himself in the same way that these swaggering men do.

Confidence, confidence, confidence. And if you don't have it, pretend to have it.

In much the same way that the phrase "curvy" is a euphemism for fat, "nice guy" now seems to stand for shy and insecure. So don't be an asshole, but don't be the BFF either. Be someone reliable and kind, but don't let yourself be a doormat.

CaliRSX · Answer

Its not about being an asshole, its about being confident and assertive. Girls, in general, want to feel safe or secure with their guy. Which guy do you think makes them feel safer: the bad boy, or the nice guy pushover? But you don't have to be an asshole. For example, a "nice guy" would ask the girl to pick the movie they see on a date, probably some chick flick. A "bad boy" picks an action movie and tells her that's what theyre watching. The middle, and what I consider to be the best, alternative is to pick a movie you both will like but that you chose. This shows you can take control but still have some consideration for her. That example works literally, but you can also apply that same principle to just about everything.

Nice guys are usually good at making an emotional connection. Assholes are good at elliciting a sexual attraction... But if you want a chance at a healthy relationship you're going to have to learn to be as assertive as an asshole, while retaining at least some of you're nice guy qualities.

shes-a-ruckus · Answer

Here's the deal-- like any other girl, I want a nice guy but seem to be attracted to the bad ones (read my most recent question). I think I finally figured it out. While I think I deserve a nice guy, I'm afraid to pursue one because I'm so afraid of being hurt, and I'm not good at judging whether or not someone is going to be a "nice guy". The fact of the matter is that the biggest assholes have usually perfected the art of being the biggest charmers. They go to a party and talk to lots of girls, act extroverted, get attention, and then shower you with attention and compliments. They make it sound like their interested. For a lot of girls, even if they know the guy is a jerk and just uses girls for sex, the thrill of the attention and feeling wanted is enough for them to start thinking "well maybe he'll change for me".

The problem with nice guys, just as is the problem with most nice girls, is that they're shy. A lot of girls, even if they are extroverted and confident, won't approach a guy to date or start hanging out because the idea of asking someone out is supposed to be 'the guy's job'. It's old-fashioned, but it's true- we want you to come to us.

So next time you like a girl, ask her out! Or at least flirt and hint a little bit and let her know you're interested. The trick is to flirt without getting creepy--- make it sound like you're attracted to her, but you could just as easily get any other girl. Once you think you might have a shot (and sometimes you just have to go out on a limb and take a risk!) ask her out--- she'll probably say yes.

I wish nice guys would approach me, but the fact is they don't.

setcheck67 · Answer

Well the irony is that girls don't realize they CREATE the bad guys. The good guys that actually have things going well and are attractive try desperately to get girls attentions. It's when the girls ignore them for that and go for all the assholes that they slowly change. Myself I started out as a good guy and girls hardly even cared even though I was fun, confident, and strong talking. They would love to talk with me and spend time with me, but anytime I ever asked one of them out they always replied "Well I'm sort of seeing a guy". For 3 years I slowly changed from the good guy I was to the asshole I became. For those 3 years I worked out, became a much more violent and angry person, and started working to get money. Well the time came when one of those girls wanted to be with me. However after a few weeks I found out she had already had her fun with one of those other guys. So after about the 3rd week I told her in the coldest, harshest way I could that "I don't want you and I don't love you". I've dated a few girls, but I honestly have no emotion to give them. I suppose I lost my respect for women when I became a better person than them. I actually have my life together and I have a great future ahead of me. They don't, they wasted there time with those guys having tons of fun while I worked hard to become who I am. I won't wait for any girl. To be precise I won't even think of her as attractive if she ever had sex with one of those bad guys. The first time I had sex I gave her 7 orgasms, but I couldn't even bring myself to come AT ALL (pretty bad considering I'm a guy) and I actually had to PRETEND that she was a virgin just to keep an erection going. She had already had her fun with bad guys and because of it as soon as she woke up the next day I told her to "GET OUT". I suppose the only way a woman could even please me is if she never had sex and that she has her life together. I suppose the good news of this story is the girls love me now.

tex151 · Answer

Well being nice isn't working out for you, your frustrated and at point you probably liked some chicks who fell for the assholes and they probably call you up and say my boyfriend is such a jerk and blah blah blah blah, and I'm willing to bet these girls say why can't I find a guy just like you, and your going hello right here, me me, leave your loser boyfriend there's a nice guy right here, and they say oh we can't date we're just friends.

I am the guy women fall for, the bad boy, the asshole, or the jerk, and I pretty much have two gfs right now. I am not a druggy, felon, or an idot. The solution to your problem is simple stop being so nice, grow some balls and actually tell a girl no, put them in their place and they will not try and mess with you. These games they play are tests and so far your failing them left and right. Bad boys are dominat and women know it, women don't need to be treated like princesses and if you ever tell one that they should be, they will walk all over you.

If you can't tell a girl to shut up, she's being annoying, or say you know I could care less, then your dommed, dating is a game and in this game the nice guy always loses simple as that, if you want more advice send me a message.

immamust13 · Answer

Don't judge teens based on them being in high school. Judge us for the people we are. Example: Just because I'm in high school does not mean I'm "incredibly immature." If we fall in love with a bad guy and really care about him, and see that he is on drugs, of course we would ask him to stop... that is just human nature, you look out for people you love. you said "love apprciates someone for all that they are" but I don't think you actually thought about it. If you loved someone who was bad and they did things that could harm themselfs and/or other people wouldn't you try to change that?

I see exactly why you can't get any decent girls to like you.

before you judge other people look at yourself.

because being a girl I can already tell I wouldn't even like you as a friend! girls hate guys who think they know it all but it turns out they don't know a thing. I know exactly why you can't get a Girlfriend and I've only talked to you about 3 days on the net...wow that says a lot about your character. you need to be MORE open minded. and LESS jelous of high school students because you're a loser... sorry dude but you are a loser. and that's probably the main reason you can't get a girlfriend. Who would want their 20 something year old boyfriend on a teen website complaining that he basically has no life! I'm not trying to be mean. just truthful. seems to me you're the one with some growing up to do. - oh & maybe try to get a LIKEABLE personality.

carnivale · Answer

Because girls don't want some whiney little safe babynice bitch/..imean you canbe nice, but be a little dangerous or be a little bit of a d*ck. I mean, id rasther have aguy who kicks someones ass for calling me names then a boy who is scared and hides behind the man. Heterosexual  girls want MEN! masculine men! nthey don't want to date girls!and by the way not all "bad a**" guys are drugged up losers(and not every who is drugged up is a loser kid, they are just going through some stuff.). one little thing about a guy can make him a bad boy. also, stupid girls like o get treated like crap, like to get their hearts broken. what we can have we want much,much more. just like loser boys always going after the "out of their league, cool girl." But hey, there are plenty of girls who do want a nice guy. most just don't now it yet. and by thwey way, I have an awesome drug /alcohol/noin cheater fiance..but he is Def a badboy. He has awesome subarustiwrx, is hot and manly, knows how to fix everything,  and he has this edge. Something about the way he talks to people, looks. Like a don't f***with me or my family essense thatd makes him so bad boy hot. and he would do anything for me...does do everything for me. I'm his princess. so not all bad boys are scum. but..maybe its because he used to be really bad...lol

Niko-r · Answer

Awe that's really sad but true in most cases, I'm your stereotypical seventeen year old popular senior and guess what.. I love nice usually GEEKY boys! All my friends go for assholes and manwhores but I love nice guys! Now here's  the catch, I've been in love with a drama geek from one of my classes for 8 months, he's never had a girlfriend or even a crush school is so important to him along with family religion and sports, you couldn't ask for a sweeter, nicer individual, but get this.. He turned me down ( technically not exactly but he doesn't give me the time of day even when I try to be his friend) he's not a jerk but he's awkward and intimidateded by me! My friends make fun of me and ask why I love him so much but they don't get it! Some girls are too immature to understand what it's like to base one on personality and not looks or status! But there is a girl like me out there for you! You need to take what comes your way if a girl likes you, you should make an effort to get to know her regairdless of looks , she may just be your soulmate! Bottomline I'm pretty and popular but the one thing that's really important to me I can't have, it's ironic because I'd trade it all for him! I'm head over heels in love with the good guy and he couldn't care less, the grass isn't always greener on the other side babe!

grnpari · Answer

wtf? My comment was cute short due to those symbols. I'll con't. my response: "Hmmm if they're health conscious then they will work out (but nothing hardcore, just for their health), and since men naturally have muscle...just looks good naturally." The contrast btwn women & men shows. And "just cute,"to me, is equivalent to a COMMON LOOK; the common look in combination with a nice personality (hence the "nice guy") just enhances their looks, which is why they turn me on. Note: on vacation, I met this sort of chubby guy & felt a real strong attraction because he was such a great person (mature, sweet, outgoing...) which blinded me to his flaws. It's too bad he lives 4 hrs away, otherwise I would have liked to date him (he told me he's usually healthy, but he couldn't be at the moment due to work, which I respected<<<I didn't ask! He just told me, probably he felt self conscious). As a result of surfing this website, I've decided to keep an eye out for cute shy guys & make a move :)

"Bad guys"=douche bags from my perspective

Julian · Answer

GREAT QUESTION!

BELIEVE ME, enroll in some Women's Studies classes, because you care about whatever that particular class is. Feminist girls won't put up with bullsh*t from loser guys. They'll date YOU, if they are single. And heterosexual. Which most feminists are, contrary to stereotypes.

Hang out with girls who respect themselves, who have gone through the "bad boy" experience once or twice and learned that hard, awful lesson.

And learn how to kiss REALLY well, and to perform oral sex on women REALLY WELL. Bad boys are often AWFUL and abusive in bed. And all about "give me head NOW, b*tch!" So learn how to bring women to multiple orgasms. And learn all the many ways to do this.

And be honest, truthful, and not too self-deprecating. Be happy with who you are. No one has much respect for someone who doesn't have respect for themselves. And unfortunately, "bad boys" are perceived--quite mistakenly--as having self-esteem. Either that, or they're seen as "guys who need to be cared about, because if someone shows them enuf care, they'll blossom like roses". NOT. Women and girls: I don't recommend EVER getting with a guy in order to change him. He needs to change himself. Let him do that alone. Don't go near him while he's a caterpillar. Wait until he's a butterfly to ride high with him.

So, Anonymous User, be that butterfly, but not a moth to a flame. Have your own sense of yourself. And know that she'll come along when it's the right time.

alliente · Answer

i guess because they're daring and they're magnets for trouble

i personally don't want a guy that gets in trouble with the law or anything like that but if you like ditch skool or something, then that's pretty hot and if they have a harley davis bike or somethin' (damn that turns me on) then it makes the gurls turn their heads to the guy.

if ur too nice, for me its like then I can push you around and tell you to do something and ull always do it. but for a bad guy then theyll tell you "no b!tch, do it yourself" and maybe not at that moment but that turns me on.

i want tattoos so I want my boyfriend to understand that

if they have it then its evn better and there's no trouble

the good guys are the frnds becuz they don't tell you how they feel about you and then you guys are just on the sidelines

if you tell us then there's a chance that we'll say the same thing.

the good guys tell us if we're doing something wrong and really, we don't want that to have to come out of our bf's mouth

and there are some gurls who like the good guys

if you were to act like the bad boy 4 one day, u'll see that gurls will like u.

thats my opinion.

srry about the whole situation tho.

Anonymous · Answer

I have my own personal problem with nice boys. I typically like them right off the bat, but the problem is we don't know each other, and he can't make a move until he feels comfortable. If he is feeling comfortable with me then I have probably already put him in the friend zone (sad to say).

Why bad boys aren't put in friend zone: Bad boys however, never get too comfortable in our lives. They aren't there when I talk about my bad day at work or when I eat a carton of icecream, they can be around but I'm too afraid to be judged by them to behave the same way as I do with a nice boy.

So basically, in my opinion, the equation comes to sex. Being with a nice boy is being in a warm soft bed of relationship: it is comfortable and warm and protective, but at the same time it can seem to be predictable or not very exciting. Being with a bad boy is not only hot and hard and passion (and we tend to ignore the chaos and the jealousy). Being with a bad boy makes us feel sexy and desirable and like a hot piece of ass where as being with a nice boy makes us feel beautiful to him and loved by him...

Some girls want to be sexy and have the heat even though sometimes it burns them. Some girls want to have the comfort and feel beautiful even if it is only one person that sees the beauty.

Anonymous · Answer

Its about the confidence. even if its arrogance its so alluring. and when you see everyone else after him, you're like "Oh he's so hot" too. I'm getting to the stage where I want the nice guy and I want to be the bitch. I've been the nice girl and it sucks I'm going to call the shots and say what I want from now on lol! I've learned that the charming charismatic guys are the worst because to charm someone is a skill, its not who the person actually is. they butter you up so you like them but then you find out what theyre really like! I would say bad guys do well in their 20s and perhaps beyond but I think theyre always doomed. they'll never settle down or even if they do theyll be cheating on the wife. they want their cake and eat it too so theyll never be satisfied or content wit anyone. I would say be nice but firm-bit of both. the confidence is great-make sure ur confident. and the self-respect too-bad guys have such a high opinion of themselves but high self-esteem is good as long as its not over inflated. if you want more girls in ur 20s then id say play the field but make a conscious decision to settle down in ur late 20s/30s so that you don't become a total asshole for ur entire life. its sad when you see these old guys still playing the field like jack nicholson. you don't want to be like that!

Anonymous · Answer

Well, bad boys have this certain edge to them. Girls like a thrill, and that's what bad boys give. It's just like how my guy friend asked me why girls fall for those hot, jerks who don't even care about them. It's simple, because girls believe that they're the one who changes them.

Maybe in this case too, girls believe that this guy, this rugged, dangerous guy, has this soft side to them. Has something for the girl to find, and bring out in a guy. Girls don't see them as 'drugged up losers', maybe some, but often love is blind.

All girls need a good guy, and all girls know this. It's after the wrong one, quite possibly a bad boy or a jerk, they realise how much need need one. Sure there are those girls who do end up changing the bad guys, but that's just them.

Maybe what you're doing wrong is that you're not letting loose. You sound too worried, let loose and see what happens. Have some fun, and stop worrying about everything. Everything will fall into place if you just stop looking so hard.

lupe3825 · Answer

First of all, I am the female version of you. I do not like to be wild, and do stupid immature things or anything. With that said, there are many reasons for this. One I believe to be true in almost every case is that the girl doesn't think she deserves a good man. Maybe she had certain events happen in her life that made her feel unworthy of a good thing. Also, woman are built to be affectionate and to take care of people. They are actually attracted to men that are dysfunctional, out of control, however you want to put it, because they want to change them, or help them. It could simply be that woman, or anyone really, would like to find someone that is just as messed up, and dysfunctional as they are. So, maybe its a good thing that most woman aren't interested in you. It could mean that you aren't destructive, but they are, so you make them feel intimidated. You never want to settle for less just because you aren't that loser they're looking for. "She" will come one day. You are so young and most people at your age are so stupid and are just looking for that next thrill.

I hope I helped you a little bit.

hannibal7 · Answer

It seems like your problem isn't that you are nice, or that women prefer jerks, although a lot of women do, it sounds like your game needs fine tuning.

You have to realize that sexual confidence is not assuming your going to bed down the next woman you see. It is confidence in yourself as a man. The way you carry yourself. Enjoy the moment. Enjoy the company of your female companions, in a normal way. Society causes us to objectify women, and that makes every thing they do, say, wear, etc., seem either sexual or a turnoff. Just be yourself, and don't look at women as mere sexual creatures. They are human beings, and believe me, they are interested in you. Just don't act desperate. Don't feel as if you HAVE to have them or else. Exude confidence. Pay attention to them. Listen to them. Make them feel important. Treat them as if they are special. Because they are. Remember their names and the things that are important to them. Smile naturally when in their company. Talk to them about them. And don't pressure yourself with some ridiculous goal, like trying to see if you can get inside their pants.

MsGrant · Answer

Just by reading your post I can see that you are a great guy! your only 19 you have your whole life ahead of you and God will bring you someone perfect =) just wait on her.

so to answer your question:

its not that we like a BAD GUY...we like the confidence in a bad guy. I have a friend who was in the marines and he is the NICE guy with the BAD guy confidence ..too bad he has a girlfriend I want to marry someone exactly like him lol.

"Good looking nice guys" getting the cold shoulder- Good looking nice guys hold all of their confidence in their looks. They don't feel like they need anything else because their a good looking nice guy and they forget that they still need to work to keep their woman interested.

"The mean guys" getting all the fish- We don't like bad boys, we like their confidence.. Were miserable in relationships with bad boys because they treat us like dirt but their confidence is worth the trouble..sad I know but the truth is if we have to choose one were going to choose the one that has a complete set of balls.

Women sometimes are drawn to a nice guy just so she can manipulate them, she will end up alone. STAY AWAY FROM HER

Women sometimes are drawn to someone who does drugs and has no manners because she feels like she can change him. She needs counseling and will end up alone. STAY AWAY FROM HER

Women sometimes are drawn to Control freaks because they need to be controlled otherwise their lost. She needs counseling too and will end up alone. STAY AWAY FROM HER

The woman needs to be confident enough to choose a man who compliments her not brings her down. Don't envy half a man for scoring with half a woman because she has just as many issues as he does if she chose to link up with someone who is inadequate.

You will find your girl =) just wait

rand0mkid · Answer

You've got it wrong. Women are not attracted to guys because they like being treated like crap. The reason why the bad boy gets more women than a nice boy is because he has other qualities that women are attracted to that the nice boy does not.

-Bad boys usually possess confidence, a quality that a lot of women are attracted to. Women naturally think a self assured guy will be capable of protecting her. If you can't stand up for yourself, how can a woman expect you to have the strength stand up for them?

-The fact that they use drugs and alcohol usually means that they're free of any inhibitions holding them back. Being nervous and self conscious is a serious problem when it comes to attracting women. They'll never know what kind of a person you are if you're quiet and reserved. People drink so alcohol at parties not necessarily because it tastes good but because it keeps them from thinking too much. Sometimes, it's just better to act on impulse.

-They're also not overly persistent and know how to keep their distance. Women aren't looking for a relationship with a guy who dotes on them 24/7. They could get that from a friend or relative. When it comes to romantic relationships, it's not enough to just be nice. You have to go beyond that and offer them a challenge too. If a woman knows that they don't have to any effort to get your attention, they'll quickly grow bored of you.

Now don't get me wrong. This does not mean that you should immediately adopt a bad boy attitude yourself and start binge drinking and snorting crack. I'm saying that you should take note of the qualities that women are attracted to. Nice is good, but it just won't cut it because women simply aren't romantically attracted to that.

Most importantly, as a nice guy you probably treat everybody in a friendly manner. And I mean everybody. Ask yourself this: How can a woman expect you to love her if you treat her the same way as everyone else?

Girls: Why the "bad guys?" Seriously...

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