My cousin's ex-boyfriend wants to court me. Is it okay?

[Anonymous]

They broke up 8 years ago. We started talking last year. I don't see a problem with that actually. It's just him who always thinks of what my cousin would say if she finds out.

[Anonymous]

Hi Anonymous,

Do you trust your cousin?
If you are so sure she doesn't care, then asking is a win win situation: You are kind to her and you verify whether it was actually only 2mo and 8y ago that they dated.

I do think it is gross to be honest. But one must weight the risks and benefits. How good is this guy compared to any dream guys you've met? My cousin is drop dead gorgeous and she would trust my judgement on crossing out and test the rest of the 7 billion souls on earth. Many good options come in your late 20s. How are you doing lately? Have you been mistreated recently? Maybe it's a good idea to build confidence and hope for amazing, and choose later. Take it slow and have a friendship with the guy first, maybe? Good enough doesn't make happy.

Is your family one that gets together on Christmas Eve? Think about the scenario. She might not care, but how will you feel? Will you trust what he said and never doubt anything in your mind? You want to avoid feelings of jealousy in your imagination, because then your friendship with her will be affected. That's on your side. Let's think about her. She might not care, but her husband will. They might even avoid stopping by on family reunions if her husband isn't excited about hanging out and sharing punch with his wife's ex.

Nevertheless, if she loves you as I love my cousin, she'll let you decide and pray for the best.

[nimbus24]

Ask your cousin if she's okay about it. For conservative people like me it's kinda gross to date relatives ex boyfriend/girlfriend. But hey this is a free country, follow whatever your heart says. Goodluck!

[Asker]

I find it gross too but hey, it was 8 years ago and their relationship last for only 2 months. :) Thanks! :)

[nimbus24]

2mos. is a short time I think your cousin isn't really emotionally attached to him or anything. You go girl :)

[nimbus24]

Thanks for MHO :)

[Paris13]

Check with the cousin.. it has been a month of Mondays since they broke up and I am sure she could care less now.
Good luck. xx

[Asker]

Thank you! :)

[Paris13]

You are so welcome, sweetie... xxoo

[heavensgift2girls]

Ask your cousin. I don't think she will care after eight years, but she might appreciate being asked. If she thinks you are sneaking around then she might get upset just because you did it thinking it would upset her.

[Asker]

I know she won't care. I just don't know why this guy is anxious about it.

[heavensgift2girls]

If he cares about you then it only makes sense he doesn't want to cause problems for you and your family.

[Asker]

I see. Thank you! :)

[Anonymous]

I think it depends if they courted only without engaging in any sexual activity. That will not be a good situation.

[WhySoComplicated]

It's all good. Go for it!

[Anonymous]

Bad cousin.

[Asker]

What made you say that?

[Opinion Owner]

Na, you're not that bad. It's bad she doesn't know though. I don't know how your cousin is, some would never speak to you again others wouldn't care. It really depends how your cousin will take it. If it wasn't any serious relationship and was very brief, even less reason to worry. If they were kinda serious, it's not so good.

[Asker]

It lasted for only months. She's married now. I don't think she'd react bad on it.

[Opinion Owner]

If it was only a few months, most people look back years later and see it literally as nothing. Maybe just getting to know each other that's it. Still though, just be careful, because you know situations like this can get messy, even when the other person says they don't mind. It's best to tell her as soon as possible though, it'll be different and harder if you wait too long.