Why is this guy rushing to be in a relationship with me?

[californiachick]

I had met this guy online and we had been talking for about a week before we had first met, after the first date he had wanted to be exclusive already and was telling me how he knew i was the one and that he had really wanted to further our relationship. Being taken back by this I had told him i wanted to take things slow and after he found out that there were a ton of other guys i had been talking to he seemed to want to rush things even more. We've been dating for three weeks now and we had both opened up to each other and gained each other's trust with everything, he's been coming to see me every other day and we both enjoy each others company. he assures me and tells me each time how much he is into me but i'm afraid he only wants me because he might just be desperate to be in a relationship? he's told all his friends and family about me already and his friends are calling him whipped but how do i know that i'm truly the one he wants when he's never really had a girlfriend?

[Wolfie2014]

I can somewhat relate to the guy you're seeing... When someone has never had a relationship, but longs for one because they see it all the time or maybe because they are hopeless romantics, they can get desperate after awhile. Especially if they've had bad "near misses" where taking things slow ended with either party being friendzoned or nothing at all.
I'm in the habit of "Rushing" because i afraid of losing the catch after fishing for so long with only a few nibbles here and there.

However, like in fishing, if you pull too hard too quickly, the line snaps. This is why you should both find your "break even" and until then, you won't know whether you are the one for each other or not. This is a lesson i'm working hard to learn with the current girl i'm seeing, because I don't want the line to snap with this one haha. Hope it helps a little :)

And apologies for the fishing references :P

[AlaskanKind]

Like me, some guys have parental issues. We attach to what we lacked most in our childhood. Affection is one of the top priorities in human nature. We want, what we see society has. A healthy relationship that we can tend to and improve. If he has never really had a girlfriend in the past. This is all new to him. When a child sees another kid playing with a toy. What does that child want? The toy the other kid has. We want, what others seem to have, and also what we've never experienced. If he attached so quickly, then he has no idea what a relationship really is. You can't jump into deep water without testing your limits. What the person has or doesn't, may not interest you in the future. My advice? Sit and talk to him. About what he wants in life. What he wants in a relationship. Sometimes you need to be an adult. You can't expect an answer, without first questioning.

[californiachick]

We have this conversation every time we see each other. He tells me that he knows that he does not want any other girl because no one else will be able to make him feel the way I do. He was actually telling me that he never truly felt loved by his dad and that to him, i'm the first person that seems to genuinely care for him. We have a ton of common interests too and I really am into him, i'm just afraid that he's into me for the wrong reasons.

[AlaskanKind]

Not to sound like a broken record, but you should just see where it ends up? Worst case scenario, he leaves you because he didn't get what he thought he saw and wanted. Which shouldn't happen right? I mean, you're into him, he's into you. What more can you ask for in a relationship? It's water under the bridge, but there's always rocks that part the path. You can see where he takes you, or drop him. Do what you will, but I like to experience a lot of different moments in my life fully before I give up on them. You don't know what you have, till the day comes where you say "I wish you had"... So, what's it gonna be? Are you going to at least try and see where the relationship goes, or miss out on an opportunity not many get? What do I know? I'm 17.

[californiachick]

you're right.. i always seem to overthink and analyze every little thing and I'm just not used to having someone be so quick into wanting a relationship with me. i'm just going to go with my gut this time and run with it :) thank you! solid advice coming from a 17 year old!

[AlaskanKind]

I'm glad to help! Also glad to see your response so positive. I hope it ends well. Stay happy :)

[Anonymous]

Why does that worry you, you've already made the decision to date him. This is so effd up. Ladies claim they want a good guy, and when they finally find that perfect gentleman, they bring up these stupid, complex issues. Please enjoy your relationship and stop complicating matters, men are simple minded beings. Do u wanna marry this guy? If no, the why does 'being the one' make a difference?

[misscocobutter]

Heck. He sounds desperate, needy, clingy and crazy. Moving way too fast, slow him down

[badger25]

People talk to their friends and family about stuff. If he doesn't tell people about you would you feel like he was hiding you from them?

Most guys like that wouldn't force themselves to like someone or date if they weren't into them at least a little.

And if you're not really feeling it let him know. Don't just blow him off

[syd48]

Keep cool and carry on. Maybe he will calm down or he will kill it off. But you just keep calm and watch how he behaves. Don't be pushed into anything.