What do I say to a guy that is rushing our relationship?

[lora_love43]

I met this guy on an online dating app, and he's amazing and all but he's rushing our relationship and now has brought up marriage. I am completely freaking out because I barely know this guy and we have only been talking for about a week or so. I told him more than once that we need to slow down but he seems to not get it. What do I say so he understands me completely?

[caring__1]

Ideal relationships grow slowly over time, but that doesn't mean avoiding any depth for 20 years. If people are rushing or dragging their feet, don't waste your time with them, as those are self-centered actions and not conducive to healthy partnerships. Your guy is apparently desperate, and desperation is very unpredictable. Just tell him that communication is very important to you, and apparently the two of you don't seem to connect in that area, so you feel it is better to go separate ways. Effective communication prioritizes understanding the other person's perspective, and seeing things through the eyes of the other, not focusing primarily on being heard.

[TheVigilantFox]

One of 2 reasons he’s doing this.


1) he’s illegal and needs to get married so that he can stay in the country if not then he will be deported. (That’s how it was years ago not sure if it’s still the same.)


2) he’s a narcissist this is the love bombing stage they mirror you to reel you in once caught they love bomb you, you think it’s amazing but it isn’t as the further down the line you go the worse it gets, I know from experience.


Ask this guy why he’s so eager to get married, ask him to slow down, if he still carries on walk or run 🏃‍♂️ don’t stay with someone who’s a walking red flag 🚩 it’s never worth it it’s best to up and leave.

[420Rachel]

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩


This is NOT healthy behavior. He is trying to love bomb you and is a precursor of abusive behavior. He’s desperate and wants to lock you down before you even have time to get to know him and think about this relationship. He isn’t thinking, and he doesn’t want you to think either. I have a strong feeling that this guy is bad news. I would cut it off if I were you.

[Changiis07]

Try letting him know in person that it is better to take things slow and that if he isn't willing to get to know you on a slow pace level then move on. Him talking about marriage this early on is a red flag

[coachTanthony]

Just be honest and direct. It's important to be honest with them about your feelings. Be clear that you care about them, but that you want to take things more slowly. You might want to also explain why. Help them understand your perspective by explaining your reasons for wanting to slow down. Do you feel like things are moving too fast? Do you need more time to get to know each other? Sharing your reasoning can help them better understand where you're coming from.

[SlavicThor]

Tell him it's way too early for that talk, and you both need to get to know eachother still to create something meaningful... Heis being desperate and showing red flags here. By doing this you are basically saving the relationship and he should clock onto this. If he respects these boundaries that you enforce he is a keeper as he values your freedom and space

[Sparkie460]

Just tell him to slow down. These things take time. You're not in a hurry. If you don't slow down we'll stop talking

[lora_love43]

I have said something two times now and I feel like he's either not understanding me or I feel what I am saying is being ignored.

[Sparkie460]

Do you talk to him on the phone or text

[lora_love43]

text

[Sparkie460]

So when you are texting send him a single text that says " PLEASE SLOW DOWN, IM NOT IN A HURRY

[exitseven]

Tell him to pump the brakes, you are getting freaked out.

[Avicenna]

Marriage? In what context?

[lora_love43]

Talking about being together forever, talking about an elaborate wedding, the first day we talked he said I love you

[Avicenna]

Yeah, well, he’s either crazy or a scammer. I’d block him if I were you.

[Anonymous]

"I think we should see other people".😆😆😆

That'll get his attention.

[spartan55]

Found yourself a love bomber...

[lora_love43]

That's what I figured

[slatyb]

RED FLAG. You say goodbye.

[Farmerboy2]

Marriage. Get the fuck out while you can