Would you date a guy with vitiligo?

Question

Vitiligo is a skin condition in which some areas of the skin are lighter than others. I have vitiligo on my shoulders and on my, well.. groin area. It makes me very reluctant from dating girls because I know that if a girl rejected me because of it, I just don't think I could recover from that. I know it is cowardly but it scares me quite a lot. I am trying to get over it. So because of this, anytime a girl wants to go further, I stop her.

How exactly do you go about telling someone that you have vitiligo? I want a serious relationship but at the same time, I am 19, I want to have some fun and I don't want this stupid thing to get in the way of ant of that. I have been on a couple of first dates where the girls want to jump straight into bed, if that is the case what do I say? Just say nothing? A quick side note right before we get into bed? How would you react if someone told you?

Ultimately, I guess I am just looking for some opinions as to what a girl would think if I told her as well as how and when would be the best time to tell her.

The poll may seem a little silly but as I said I want to find the right girl but if along the way there are girls who just want sex, then I wouldn't mind pursuing that and I wouldn't mind knowing what they think prior to doing it. For the 'would/wouldn't deter me' part assume that you had already decided that you were going to sleep with me/the guy. Lol.

This image isn't me (obviously) but the girl in the picture has a similar skin tone to me, so it looks similar to this.

dreamer810 · Accepted Answer

I can understand how this may cause you to feel less confident about yourself, especially when it comes to the other sex. I have epilepsy and it has constantly made me feel as though I would never be good enough for a guy and that no man would actually want to marry me.
Going back to your problem though, I was actually on this app the other day Whisper, and there was a woman bragging about her Vitiligo and many people responded to this by saying that they had it too and were actually very proud of it because it made them feel unique. Also there was a tv show "Americas next top model" and there was a girl on there with the same thing. So you should accept this and know that it makes you unique and that this is who you are!! Don't let this make you feel down or question yourself..

vocalheiress · Accepted Answer

Before you expect a girl to like/want/accept you, YOU have to love you! I've dated a guy with vitiligo and since he was comfortable in his skin, I was at ease and hardly noticed the vitiligo (which was on his face). Be confident in your skin, so girls can see that. A secure man who is sure of himself is attractive. So if you like a girl and you begin to learn about each other, simply mention you have vitiligo and explain to her what it is. If she runs, guess what? She wasn't worth shit! Sure it will turn some girls off, and many simply won't care about it. Don't make it a big deal of it and carry on!

Tori_love · Accepted Answer

I dated a guy who had the same thing. It didn't bother me one bit. I knew him since we were kids and I always knew what he had. Vitiligo does not define you. As far as physical attraction, it was there for me. He was just as man as anyone else. If a girl can't handle that then that just means they're shallow. Sadly, your condition might narrow down your dating possibilities but the girls that do stick around are the best ones anyways. I promise you'll find someone who will overlook that. It really is no big deal in my opinion

acka72 · Accepted Answer

Explaining your skin condition from the start would be a good idea that way you know if she has problems with it or not and she is not surprised to see it down there (if you get my meaning). If you dont want to talk about it and you are doing a one night stand keep the room dark and she won't care or notice. Personally, I dont care and dont mind. What I do mind is people that have schizofrenia, bipolar or any mental disorder that I simply dont want to deal with or have kids that inherit those diseases.

blondfrog · Accepted Answer

Dude I know what that is I have had family members with vitiligo that's an auto-immune condition I have seen much more extreme cases than that and the picture you provided isn't so bad trust me and if yours looks exactly like that you have nothing to worry about trust me. Ufc fighter Scott Jorgensen had that and I am pretty sure he is married and is case was much worse than yours.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Well just mention to her that you feel embarrassed because you have vitiligo on your groin just like your shoulders *points to shoulders* and then say "want to see?" she'll probably be curious and say yes. At this point you show her your cock, then she might accidentally fall and choke on it.

lovemxo · Answer

If the girl loves you, I promise you she will not care! You have nothing to worry about, I understand that you're self conscious about it but in a healthy relationship, you would be the only one who was worried about it.

My boyfriend has moderate psoriasis, and in the beginning of our relationship he was self conscious about it, but he's come to realize that I don't love him for his skin. :) We have sex and it doesn't bother me. It won't be a problem if you're with the right girl.

Also, for telling girls about it before you have sex... Just literally say "Hey just a heads up, I have vitiligo, and it's not a big deal but you should know so you don't freak out" and then continue to have sex with her.
Say something along those lines, as if you're cool with it and you're saying it more for her than to appease your nerves. As a girl, I would be more worried about you being self conscious and not being able to enjoy yourself because of it.

AliceCoperfield · Answer

I don't see that as a problem. Just think about it in a reverse situation: you like a girl a lot, you find her really attractive both because of her personality AND her body and you would like to have sex with her, would you like her less if you later found out she has some areas that are lighter colored than others?
I get how it can affect your self steem because everything that makes us "different" does that at some point but if you could see it from another perspective you'd probably find out that it doesn't really change things
Everyone is different from everyone else , whether if it is because of politics, ideologies, height, weight or skin color, and if she liked you because of who you are (even physicaly) unless she is REALLY judgamental (in which case you shouldn't date her) it shouldn't be a problem. At all.

almostgirl8 · Answer

I'm dating a guy with a birthmark that overlaps his lips... it is fairly sizeable and he felt sef concious about it when he was younger because he didn't think any girl would want to kiss him because of his birthmark but I just put my arms around his neck and kissed him square on the mouth before telling him that I liked him for him and that it only gave his face character and made him more special to me. Anyway point is don't let it hold you back, its not unnatractive and the right girl will like you for you no matter what.

dazedandconfused22 · Answer

I think it is cool and makes you unique. I think the only problem I see with it is the fact that it makes you feel less confident when you don't have to.

Girls look at your personality and how nice, healthy etc you are. So if you are a good person and confident I would definitely date you regardless of your vitligio.

nert73 · Answer

As long as the guy is nice and it isn't something that is contagious or dangerous or anything, I see no problem in it. He could have zebra stripes all over him and I wouldn't mind! Sure that'd be weird, but it'd actually be kinda cool!
So yeah my point is: I don't care about anything like vitiligo. As long as he's a good person who is worth my time, I could look past something like vitiligo no problem.

Nikkicookie · Answer

Hey, honestly that kind of thing won't deter anyone who's seriously into you in terms of long term relationships, and for flings just tell them before. Especially if you show that you're feeling shy about it, it might well actually have a positive effect because it is damned cute when a boy is self conscious. It'll also let the girl feel more confident in saying anything she wants to before you do anything (ie the condom question, position questions ect).

fusrodah13 · Answer

Of course. Sunburns, surgery scars, acne redness... Whose skin is perfect? :) There is a Suicide Girl with vitiligo and she still looks gorgeous.

QuietNerd · Answer

Of course. My dad has that actually and, in my opinion, doesn't deter from his appearance at all. It's not a turn off what so ever. It's apart of you and what adds to your appearance. All of my dad's wives (he had 3), agreed he would look strange without vitiligo!

A lot of girls are attracted, emotionally and sexually, to people based off of personality. Honestly, it would be better to mention it if she sees it and just keeps staring. If after you tell her, she still just stares at it, she's not the one for you. A lot of people may be curious about it but feel it to be rude to ask directly.

If you told me that, I'd react pretty much like I just did; "Cool! My dad has that on his hands and and a bit on his face!" It definitely wouldn't change my opinion of you. To me, it's kinda like "should I tell this person my hair is naturally brown cause it's dyed black?" It's not the big of a deal~ And it's not a huge importance for a relationship. C:

youngisthan · Answer

Depend on a girl some may have problem with that and some may ignore it and love you for what you are.
And i think it also depend on you, like you have this problem which may be cure or not so accept about it don't make it your weakness and whenever you feel for some one tell her about it initially only about it there are some girls which will walk away from you due to this but there will be some girl who will like it that you have clear it in starting only.

Anonymous · Answer

Absolutly would date a guy with vitiligo, it wouldn't even cross my mind because I know what it is and it's not contagious and it doesn't effect his personality or even really his looks ;)

There was a girl on America's Next Top Model last season who had this condition and she was gorgeous!

Stand tall my young friend, be proud you're beautiful & unique !

SippingonBRANDI · Answer

Girls that care about your skin rather than your heart don't deserve to "go further". Don't be afraid to live. Because at the end of the day, you can't change a thing about it.

Anonymous · Answer

My brother has vitiligo, he's doing just fine with girls.

I knew a girl with a skin condition, it wasn't vitiligo but she had red patches instead of discoloration. She would walk around so confidently, it was such a fuckin turn on! It's like she was confident about her flaws/vulnerability and embracing it.

Confidence is all

Hannah591 · Answer

It's not contagious, it's not life threatening, it doesn't change who you are, how you treat me or how you live your life so why on earth would it bother me? I would date a guy with it.

latinababygirl · Answer

To be honest if a girl genuinely likes you, skin shouldn't be a problem. would NOT bug my if your personality is ammmaazzing if your an asshole id tell u to F** off lol. Cheesy but true be told whats on the inside matters.

shayde123 · Answer

Oh my gosh that's nothing! It's unique and unless you're trying to date a bunch of superficial idiots, it will make no difference in how attractive you are! There is not one problem with it :)

PinkAcid · Answer

there was a mixed race guy at school who had that severely (like half of his face, his arms and his chest, dont know where else) and all the girls including me liked him.

KillerTaco · Answer

You have absolutely nothing to worry about. Especially if that's how it looks. I'd totally date a guy with Vitiligo. If he had a great personality and was a gentleman it wouldn't bother me one bit.

Your_boss · Answer

I saw this guy at the mall, he was literally so cute.. But he had victorious on his face. It didn't really bother me, he was cute and I wish I had his number!!!

UniqueXD · Answer

Yes... That does not define who he/she is on the inside... Plus I see a lot of really attractive guys that have that and it doesn't make me think of them any different than any other human :)

Annie2luv · Answer

I just want to say that I find men more attractive with vitiligo!! You just need to find that right person. For me it makes that person unique, memorable, and special one of a kind and I love that!! The right person will love you regardless and I’m certain majority of girls really won’t care and if they do brush it off and keep it moving because it’s their loss not yours 💕💜

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