How do I redeem myself with my girlfriend?

[Brenden4202]

I accused her of cheating. She proved me wrong. I just added up the scenario in my head and acted on it. She got defensive gave me a gokd genuine feedback. Saying g she is loyal and would never betray me. Said I didn't think you were the jealous type.

I barley get to see her because of some military training I'm going through again. I told her my ex cheated on me while I was in bootcamp and that was her slutty doing no hers and I shouldn't of put that on her.

Apologized said that she can tell me about guys friends talk to whoever she wants and said I don't care. I don't want her to think I'm a insecure and a controlling guy because that's not me. That night just got the best of me and relived some old memories.

She said she undertsands but I can't help but think she lost a bit of respect from me.

[Mette]

This might be the worst advice ever, but I've been in your situation towards my guy. We are both grown-ups and I was cheated on in my last relationship with a loser. In the beginning of my relationship with my guy, we had so many problems, I was always trying to find proves of him cheating, it was so bad. I even sometimes caught myself thinking "what tha h**l am I doing". We had this huge fight one day, because of something that he did (and his explanation was a good one) - and I ended up accusing him of cheating even though it wasn't cold hard facts. In reality I just used the opportunity to accuse him, because I wanted it for so long.

Long story short, he told me that he was sick of me accusing him, and he thought that there was no mutual respect. I told him that I don't trust him (he doesn't know my ex cheated on me) and that trust was earned. Did he run off? No, he saw one of my darkest sides, but he stayed. Did that make him love me less? I don't know, time will tell. But I don't think it's fair to none of us to be in a relationship and just swoop of all the madness and craziness and just pretend that every thing is fine, when it isn't. That's fake.

You might have a wonderful girlfriend or you might have a cheating girlfriend. No one knows for sure. Fact is, that you love her, and you haven't cold hard facts of her cheating on you, and until then enjoy what you have. Think about it this way: No one has a guarantee that the spouses won't cheat in the future, there will always be a risk, you might as well get used to it, exactly like I have to get used to it.

[Mette]

*get used to the fact that there'll always be a risk

[Brenden4202]

This won't be continuing. I'll get over it. I just feel so emasculated and insecure. Her opunion of her matters to me because I love her. Although she would never treat me like that I can't but her thinking she lost some respect for me. It drives. me crazy.

[xyzzy]

So, you'll be buying her flowers, chocolates perfume and a weekend to make up for you being an insecure jerk. Stop being so paranoid, and start being a man.

[Brenden4202]

I mean it was an insecure moment but you've never been in the military spouses cheat all the time whe their man can't be there for them. I got caught up. Besides chocolates and flowers which are cheesey and artificial I want to show her with actions.

[TheOneTurv]

Spend time with her while you can. If you trust her on saying she gets it then trust her

[Brenden4202]

What do you mean while I can. You saying she could be thinking about leaving?

[Brenden4202]

I can't really see her at all right now not till another month.

[TheOneTurv]

i ment whenever it is possible

[Anonymous]

Just give her the best kiss you can. Make her knees tremble. Then say you are sorry and you trust her.