25 year old male. Never had a girlfriend or sex. Loser?

Question

I am a 25 year old male. I have never had a girlfriend, nor have I ever experienced sex, my first kiss or even a true passionate hug! It drives me into depression. It’s a hard thing to come to terms with; I mean most 12 year old kids have more romantic experience than me. It’s embarrassing. I have a stable job and income, I’m quite a straight laced person, I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs and I’m not the party type. Although I was a little overweight a few years ago, I’ve been going to the gym and working out and have lost quite a bit of weight.

I consider myself a nice, respectable, intelligent guy but I am an introvert and a bit shy, I get nervous very easily. No girl has ever shown interest in me. When I was in high school I did ask girls out on dates (probably about 14) but they all rejected me. Every girl I ever asked out rejected me and after a while I got so tired of the rejection I gave up and I became afraid to talk to girls. People say I need to be more confident and stop being shy and come out of my shell but it is a lot easier said than done.

Plus, what girl wants to be with a 25 year old who has never been intimate before? None! Girls would never, ever accept it. Sometimes I think I should just give up. I feel like a complete loser.

muspelhem_5 · Accepted Answer

You're not a loser because you haven't had sex or a girlfriend - but maybe you haven't had sex or a girlfriend because you are a loser. Does that make sense?

Having sex or a girlfriend will not change who you are. You will still be exactly the same person. You might gain some confidence, but that wears off, trust me.

What you should do is learn how to build confidence on your own, and how do you do that? By practising whatever it is you want to be confident doing.

So if the main area where you lack confidence is with women, you could practise there. You gave up back in the day. But just start again. Start hitting on women. Take the inevitable rejections. They hurt, but they also thicken your skin.

When I called you a loser, I did not mean that you are a loser as a person. I meant that currently you are losing at sex and relationships, because basically you aren't practising.

Good luck :)

BertMacklinFBI · Accepted Answer

you're not a loser, I actually know a loser, he had sex when he was 17, then got a girlfriend around 21, had a lot of sex with her but she didn't enjoy it very much, he does drugs, doesn't take care of his body, has the worst fucking hygiene, she dumped him, he never eats now which actually got him to lose weight but he is skinny fat, and he still does drugs, his shitty job is practically his life, he's had a girlfriend and sex a lot younger than you, but he's a fucking loser.

my opinion bruh, I think you're way better off than him, not a loser. so don't worry about the no girlfriend and no sex, trust me.

CocoRachelle · Accepted Answer

You're not a loser. I know being a shy introvert can be tough, but if you do want a lady, you are going to have to try to put yourself out there. I know like you said, it is easier said than done, but you have to keep trying if it's what you really want. While there are women with different types of tastes in men, if you are open minded you will find a gal that will like you for you, and will understand your situation.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Here you go: Don't do this: Do This & Take note of how he handles rejection: Advice from guys: Visit this site: Good Luck!

new_me · Accepted Answer

Well I had my first kiss at 22. And I consider myself a well-rounded individual and I wouldn't mind a guy with no experience.  every guy gets rejected they just don't let it get to them

Soren · Answer

Hey, well i should say that ur a Lucky guy :p
U need just to find a girl who is like u :p
And i promiss u they are existe :p
U can't never change what u are, and even if u do, it's not fun, u will never like it :)
Forget about what u see in the world today, respect urself :)
The most problem u got about girls is because usually the girls are stupid, when they see a guy which is really good, they can't ever believe to be with him and when they think what this guy should be single if he is good, so he have a problem !
Well they are like that :D so forget about this kind of girls, they don't care who are u, fine someone who like u and ur personality :)
And finally, GOOD LUCK :)

Mussjuventino · Answer

Hi bro... there are many people who are much older than you who didn't have girlfriend i'm sure about that so don't worry take it easy try to have friends i mean cool friends like you and go out with them you will get to meet their friends on this is how you extend your friends circle and you well get to know to girl ; and if u meat a girl just take it easy ok? don't try to ask them out in the first day lol focus more on hwo you talk to them to act when you are with a girl and stuff , and even when she rejects you don't get sad there are milions of single girls , and about that iy are 25 years old and never been with a girl don't say it to a girl i don't recommand it jus make up some simple stories :D

Sexualchrist · Answer

You are a loser. However, it's not an irreversible thing. You can change and become cool again. Start putting yourself out there again. You're still relatively young.

And girls don't have to know you're a virgin. They won't assume you are when you're 25 so just don't say anything and they won't even think about it.

Ghibli · Answer

You are not a loser if you have a wonderful job, good friends and family that love you. If you're taking care of yourself then that's the ultimate key to happiness. A real man doesn't need a woman to be happy... having a woman is just a bonus. Besides women always talk about how they don't need men.

baarkmann · Answer

Yes you are a loser, but it doesn't matter. there are many losers out there too, i am a loser too, but just not a bad as one as you.

nah only joking, if you seriously want one, maybe it's the girls your going for, maybe lowering your standards, and you will find someone eventually.
trust me

Anonymous · Answer

i believe that U don;t want to hav sex basically... because if u REALLY wanted then you'd go with a prostitute basically

yeah, that's the truth guys... if someoene's a virgin then he's by choice and only 2 me... unless he's really poor that cannot afford a pro...;-)

Anonymous · Answer

Search similar questions here on this site. You're not alone.

TheGuyFromMiddleEast · Answer

You lost them at "I don’t drink, smoke or do drugs and I’m not the party type." buddy.

rocccky · Answer

you are what you think you are! its doesn't belong to your love life dude!

Anonymous · Answer

I have the same problem, but I'm more than 10 years older than you :(((

Anonymous · Answer

Sadly, many dating coaches/gurus know of guys older than you who are in the same situation

TheLastSamurai · Answer

same here bro good luck

dev765 · Answer

Sounds like a winner to me.

tenofthepeaks · Answer

no, it's not.

25 year old male. Never had a girlfriend or sex. Loser?

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