25 year old male virgin who's never had a girlfriend?

[nyc9190]

Hey y'all, so here's the rundown:

I'm 25, good looking (not a stud by any means but I am tall and athletic) and have a good job, but the one thing that has always been absent from my life is romance. After high school and college I thought that maybe I was just a late bloomer, but now I'm getting worried. No girlfriends, no kissing...nada. And it's bothering the hell out of me.

I do the bar scene with my friends quite often and am pretty good at conversations once I'm in them, but most of the time I lack the confidence to start them. It's always in the back of my mind that I don't have any experience, so even after I do have a good convo with a cute girl it usually doesn't go anywhere. I usually find myself very frustrated after a night out and asking, "Why me? Why am I THIS guy?"

My best friends tell me that I could easily get girls because "I have a lot going for me" (job, grad school, looks, etc.) but I wish it were that simple...I feel like I'm stuck in this endless maze and I can't get anyone. Some of my other friends ask me why I don't date and I try to play it off by saying that nice guys finish last. But the real reason? My confidence sucks and I'm pretty embarrassed by my age and experience level. How will a girl react to that?

Is there hope for a guy like me? Sometimes I feel like there is none.

[alexis7]

dont worry about a thing. it seems like you DO have a lot going for you, and you should feel much more confident about yourself. don't worry about your age and your lack of experience, because most girls won't care about it. in fact, they would be flattered to be your first :]

but honestly, I wouldn't go to the clubs anymore if you are looking to meet a girl. when you are there, the girls are assuming that you are into a one night stand, and have probably had several of them in the past. I never take guys seriously that hit on me in the club.

ask your friends to set you up with girls, or look in different types of places. I see nothing wrong with eharmony either, I think I would try it if I were older (I am 19).

dont think too much about what you are saying, or how you come across. the more laid back you are, the more she will like you! let the conversation flow naturally.

this might make you feel better, but I have a couple cousins and guy friends who are mid 20s and have never had a serious girlfriend either.

but be happy and confident in who you are and know the right girl will come :]

[nyc9190]

Thanks, appreciate the advice. I always figured that girls would be turned off by the lack of experience thing and that's why it bothers me so much.

I tend to avoid clubs (not my scene) and stick to bars, although as Tamkaze pointed out it's probably not where I should be focusing my attention.

[alexis7]

Good girls would prefer to be with a guy who hasn't been with lots of other girls. it makes them feel special.

and yeah, same goes for bars though, it seems like more of a pick-up place than a place to meet girls who want to be in a relationship.

i kind of understand where you are coming from in all of this, I am 19, never had a serious relationship, and I am a virgin. I have dated some guys, but none that I wanted to stick around. I know how it feels to sit around waiting for someone. it sucks

[Tamikaze]

You need to get more serious about a relationship and not expect to meet girls in bars. Not that you are not meeting them, but you cannot figure out how to move beyond meeting them. It could be that in the back of your mind you are afraid of what will happen when you let the girl know you are a virgin so you are purposely not asking the questions to get the date and get the girl.

I would go with Alexis7's advice on how to meet a girl. Eharmony is great. At least on Eharmony everyone expects to go on a date so after you get to the point of open communication and send some e-mails, ask her for a date. I would also stop worrying about being a virgin. The right girl who falls for you won't care. She will work with you on this. I would just say that you have been waiting for the right girl (true), not that you think you are unable to meet girls and that is why you have not had sex yet.

All I can say is now is the time to figure this out. Don't wait until your 30's or 40's to resolve this.

[nyc9190]

I've actually tried a few online dating sites (not eHarmony but a few others) because I do want a serious relationship, although I haven't had luck there yet. It IS a lot better than the bar scene though and I'm willing to keep trying with it.

You're right about me waiting for the right girl to come along. It just seems like I've been waiting for a really long time :-/

[Tamikaze]

I liked Eharmony much better than the other sites. It just seems to have even more serious daters on there but as a woman I just get tired of having guys try to hit me up for "casual" relationships on other sites. As a guy maybe it doesn't matter so much.

[danielle_d]

heyy :) i want to respond to this but i have way too much to say to leave it on here but you dont allow people to private message you. message me if you want to talk!!

[ladiesman84]

Hey man, we are both in the same boat. I'm 26 years old, a virgin, and never had a girlfriend. Though from all my experiences, the main thing that seems to put me down is my confidence (I could be hideous but I rather not think about it). Sad to say, women can tell when men aren't confidence whether its the look in our eyes or our body language. I'm not much of a clubbing guy either and may go to the bar once in a blue just to try to socialize. From what you said, you do have a lot going for you and I'm pretty sure you've heard that too many times, but its true. Try looking other places that would be easier to hold a conversation or try dating sites. (hasn't work for me yet, but it may work for you) Wish the best of luck to you man, and as Bryguy said before "we're in this together"

[bryguy]

I hear where your coming from, I dated a girl for about 2 weeks, another one for a short time, Its definitely a confidence issue and how to progress the conversation and not feel rejected when you get a "No." Its about learing to be more cofortable striking up a conversation and hopefully break out of the shell

Good luck, were all in this together

[nyc9190]

Thanks man

[Lara_Croft]

God is Good. Are you Christian? A virtuous man is hard to find, your experience is of no matter since most guys think sex is a commodity as well as dating. If you're a believer, Christian girls will love your personality and openness, pray about it. If not a believer, repent and believe in Jesus Christ. Your id is not defined but your relationship status and experience