Difference between player and afraid to commit?

[Anonymous]

I feel like this guy may just be afraid of commitment. What's the difference between a player or just afraid? How do you tell?

[bubola]

Its kind of hard to tell. A player does not always have lots of women on call. He might be someone who simply jumps from bed to bed and when he says bye, its bye. He's effectively a f*ckboy. He sleeps and runs or leads you along like a donkey with a carrot dangling in front of it. A commitment-phobe is someone who needs a lot of work before they can so much as think of a future with another person. For a CP, life is uncertain and people are unpredictable. I am a CP and I tend to distance myself from a guy if I see that he's having romantic thoughts towards me. I tend to keep guys in the friend-zone. Further CP's don't usually get intimate with people; they don't usually share personal information or anything that requires feelings etc...

[Creole_Flavor]

A player dates multiple women and he is not interested in pursuing a a monogamous relationship. Someone that is afraid of commitment might still get into relationships but will push you away or leave at some point because getting serious scares them.

[Asker]

This I think made my day

[Creole_Flavor]

I'm glad I can help :)

[Asker]

Like push you away as in maybe block you!

[Asker]

?** I mean

[Creole_Flavor]

Oh yeah blocking included lol it happened to me before more than once only to be added again

[Asker]

What do u mean?

[Asker]

Like he called me to clingy and stuff but I rarely talked to him.

[Creole_Flavor]

Sometimes a guy will push you away and make you think that he has a problem with you but in reality that is his way of coping with feeling too close to you. My ex would block me when things got serious and would come crawling back because he didn't want to be done with me at the same time he didn't want to commit either.

[Creole_Flavor]

I personally don't have patience or time to waste on someone that does not know what they want or is a commitment-phobe

[rollsroyce12345]

A guy that is afraid of commitment, doesn't want relationships and won't use for sex. They generally won't use for sex. If a guy has told you, he is afraid to commit, then he is not a player, but you have to ask yourself, do you want him as a boyfriend for long term commitment. He just might to have fun with a girl. So if you are looking for some fun, with no strings attached, then he is the guys for you.

A player will tell you everything you want to hear, and generally keeps leading you on, and makes you think something is going to happen, and generally never does. He only uses women for his own sexual needs.

[rollsroyce12345]

Player- keeps leading you on, mainly for the use of sex.

Non player- is straight with you about is feelings and what he wants, and doesn't use for sex.

[Asker]

So with this guy I'm talking bout; He has always considered my feelings and helped me through a lot and stuff like that then he just changed and I ended up blocked and stuff like that but he still finds me funny and stuff and I'm not sure what that means?

[rollsroyce12345]

He has feelings for you and actually likes you, but at the same time he is pulling away from you, because he scared commitment.

[OlderAndWiser]

A player dates several women at once and does not hesitate to deceive them. Afraid to commit dates one girl but lacks the confidence to make a long term relationship work.

[Asker]

What about a guy who said he likes you and acts like he likes you then when things are getting really serious totally leaves

[OlderAndWiser]

Did he say he "liked" you or did he say he "loved" you? Did you talk about what that means and what your hopes and expectations were? If you didn't have those discussions, your relationship had not progressed very far and maybe what you had was infatuation/crush/lust. What was happening that made things really serious? Had you progressed to a sexual relationship? You pose your questions as if you are reluctant to state things clearly; why do you do that? Think about that.

[Asker]

He said he liked me and he would walk me places and actually let me look at the moter in his truck which he never let anyone touch

[OlderAndWiser]

Have you tried talking to him? Have you asked him what happened? Maybe he will tell you but maybe he won't. As you get older, you will realize that some of your questions will never get answered, especially in matters concerning the opposite sex. You probably want to know because you are concerned that you did something wrong. When you are dating, guys will learn things about you and certain things will make them lose interest in you. What kind of things? It depends on the guy. Maybe he can't stand it that you like certain sports, or music groups. Maybe he can't stand your family. Sometimes, it involves sexual behaviors. If a guy doesn't like you because of something that is an essential art of who you are, then you didn't do anything wrong. . . it just means that you weren't well suited for each other. Making that discovery doesn't mean that somebody did something wrong. Don't try to change yourself to please a guy because you'll eventually resent him and hate yourself.

[Asker]

I have tried

[OlderAndWiser]

Not talking about his feelings and running away from a relationship is a part of who he is. Do you want someone who is like that? Sometimes, we meet people and we fall in love with them too soon, and then we learn other things that show we are really not suited for each other. It is sad but you must accept that it is part of what you will experience in life and anything that you do to try to maintain or salvage this relationship will ultimately lead to failure. It is time to learn your lessons from this relationship and to move on.

[beesod]

There are many reasons to not want to commit, but there is only one to play the field.

So how to tell? Take away the sex completely, a player will move on, whilst the guy not wanting to commit won't care if he is genuinely into you.

[Asker]

So with this guy I'm talking bout; He has always considered my feelings and helped me through a lot and stuff like that then he just changed and I ended up blocked and stuff like that but he still finds me funny and stuff and I'm not sure what that means?

[beesod]

I don't know what that means, but I can't see how it's relevant?

He could act like the nicest guy in the world and still be a player, in fact a lot of guys pull that off.

You just don't know, but if there's no sex, you can't really lose.

[Asker]

Everyone knew he liked me like I was called his girl

[beesod]

That's nice :) maybe try and spend some time with him and see where it goes.

[Asker]

But like I think I pushed him away or something

[beesod]

Well, there is only one way to find out how he feels.

[Asker]

What's that

[beesod]

Contact him, tell him how you feel.

[blondfrog]

Afraid to commit they don't want to even have relationships due to fear a player just likes to manipulate and use girls just for sex.

[Asker]

I don't understand

[Anonymous]

a non-player who's afraid 2 commit is honest with his feelings basically

[Asker]

Like at the moment he doesn't like me but he has always considered my feelings

[Azara]

I don't think the are mutually wxud

[Asker]

What

[Azara]

Lol sorry that sent by accident :-)

@ᗰIᑎᑕᕼᗩᑎ don't think the two are mutually exclusive. People play around with a lot of people so that no individual really matters much to them so they don't get attached. And getting attached makes playing around no fun. There is an element of both in both. And fear is the common denominator.

You can be in a relationship and get lots of sex. You can play around and have lots of sex. The difference is in the latter you can easily stay detached. I think players are just afraid. Not necessarily of commitment but, of being judged or rejected or laughed at or disappointed or held accountable...

And lying people only lie when they are scared.

If a person is afraid of commitment they are afraid. If someone is a player they are afraid. They both have fear.

Someone just not wanting a relationship is not necessarily afraid you can tell if they are honest about it. That's the diff between player / fear of commitment , and just not wanting a commitment. Fear.

[Asker]

So with this guy I'm talking bout; He has always considered my feelings and helped me through a lot and stuff like that then he just changed and I ended up blocked and stuff like that but he still finds me funny and stuff and I'm not sure what that means?

[Azara]

Well I think anything sudden he's hiding from or hiding something or both.

[Asker]

Like what