She suddenly cut me off from her life! I thought we had something special?

[Anonymous]

I met a girl through mutual friends, she came to visit my city for a few weeks. Whilst there I got to know her and I developed feelings for her. I became infactuated with her, she is the girl of my dreams. She returned to her city after a few weeks and we had been communicating online for the last year. I thought things were going great, so great that I decided to take a holiday and see her. We met up and hung out together and everything was really good. We even flirted a little and I began making plans to possibly move to her city to be with her. Two weeks after I came home, she completely cut me out of her life. Blocked my facebook and has not replied to any of my text messages. It absolutley broke my heart. I don't know what I did or what happened to make her do this.

How can someone go from messaging you 2-4 times a week, having told you they had a great time hanging out to completely ignoring you, cutting the cord, and discarding you pretty much overnight.

I'm not into the whole "sour grapes" thing where I completely run her down. The fact remains she is a sweet, kind, caring person. Thats why I'm so confused as to what could trigger someone to suddenly stop ALL communication with someone overnight like that? I don't think I did anything wrong.

I feel depressed, devastated and have even contemplated suicide. This is slowly destroying me. All I ever do is think about her. I haven't really got any friends to go to hang with at the moment with and finding another girl to try and replace her with isn't happening.

I want her back in my life :-(

[9mfeo]

Well, she probably wasn't as committed to the whole thing as you were. It's possible that you put her off with being so dramatic. You hardly know her and were prepared to move to be with her. That's not infatuation, bro, that's obsession.

And I hate to tell you this, but 2-4 messages per week is not that many.

[Asker]

I never told her I was going to move there, I was considering it after I got back from seeing her. Well, 2-4 messages a week back and forward is more than some girlfriends I've had in the past.

[9mfeo]

That's your problem, I think: you manufacture relationships where there aren't any actual feelings on the other side. Staying in touch the way she did was a friendly gesture, but you thought she had feelings for you too, no? And then when you went to see her, you were all over her and this put her off because she doesn't think of you that way. In order to make you understand that she doesn't want you, she cut off all contact because you have no chill.

[Asker]

I wasn't all over her. I wasn't flirtatious or trying to get into her pants at all. Sure I would have liked to but I was terrified of coming across as creepy, so I was just friendly. In fact the reason I went over there was to see if the feelings I had for her were just lust or real. They turned out to be real.

[9mfeo]

But they were one-sided. Chin up. It's over. Time to move on to the next one.

[Asker]

I can't and I don't want to.

[9mfeo]

Then prepare to be miserable and disappointed for the rest of your life. Ciao.

[Asker]

I can't move on because I've never had feelings for a girl like her before. She's my dream girl.

[9mfeo]

I hope you enjoy being lonely and brokenhearted because she's not coming back. Ciao.

[fearful]

She just thought you were friends, you thought there was something more than there was

[Anonymous]

either she found a guy in her city, found out something about you that was bad, or she got scared.

[Asker]

To be honest I don't think she would have found out anything about me, I don't have anything bad about me. Even if she did find a new guy, why cut me out? It makes no sense.

[Opinion Owner]

a lot of girls cut out guys they were talking to after meeting someone new, they don't want the drama, maybe you came on to strong

[Asker]

Well I don't think I did come on too strong. In fact I was never flirtatious or anything, just regular and friendly.

[Opinion Owner]

realized you had feelings for her when she didn't

[Asker]

Well I don't know how she could have got that idea, I never sent her "lovey-dovey" messages. In fact I thought she had feelings for me as she was the one initiating 90% of the conversations. If she had a boyfriend she could have just told me and I would never have bothered. This just makes absolutely no sense at all. I want her back in my life, even if it is just as a friend.

[Opinion Owner]

she made It clear by blocking you on Facebook and not returning phone calls she doesn't want to talk to you.

[Asker]

But why? What could I have possibly done wrong? If she met someone else, why not just tell me. I could deal with that. Why do it so suddenly and hurt me like she has?

[Opinion Owner]

your letting it get to you, better just to move on, your only hurting yourself

[Asker]

I've tried. She made my life happy in so many ways, she was the only reason I got out of bed some days. I just feel so crappy and I can't stop thinking about her. I'm heartbroken and I don't know if I can ever move on.

[Opinion Owner]

time helps

[Asker]

I don't know what to do with myself. I've even contemplated suicide.

[Opinion Owner]

Maybe seek counseling