I'm 22, a virgin and I've never had a boyfriend! Is this an endless cycle?

Well like in the title, im 22, a virgin with no boyfriend... Ever.

in my youth I was always the ugly duckling. I remember all my little 6th grade friends getting into their romance and me all alone in the corner no one wanted. I tried to get boyfriends but I was never really 'pretty'. I was chubby with frizzy hair in comparison to all of my skinny and perfectly polished friends.
In high school I lost a lot of weight and looking back I was actually super cute, however I wasn't extremely into the 'norm', I never wanted to dance in front of anyone, I was very self conscious. However very outgoing, I'd talk to anyone! I never even went to prom you see? I just liked staying home and watching movies with my friends. Most guys were into the 'party type' and that wasn't me.
Now I am 22, in college. I live on my own and am quite a homebody but around me my friends are getting married and having kids and I'm still trying to find a mister. I feel really alone often times. I don't really like clubbing or going to bars (plus none of my friends are into that) so I'm not sure where to meet these people.. I've even tried online dating but I find it to be kind of embarrassing and most of those guys aren't looking for what I want. I've tried 'dating' but I often get shut down or find that my expectations are too high. I want someone attractive with a good head on their shoulder, with a car and working a job. Only bc that is the lifestyle I currently am living! Most boys my age just want a one night stand, live at home & don't work and that's not what I'm after at all. I want companionship. I want someone to love me. And I want to settle down and eventually start a family. My really good friend just had a baby and I'm so happy for her but also so envious bc I long to have kids and be a mother but it's seemingly impossible at the rate I'm going. Everyone tells me the right one will just fall into my lap but I'm afraid I'm going to be 40 and alone wi


Most Helpful Guy

  • yes it can be vicious circle let it go. you can't be depressed forever

    • i dont want to marry before 35 anyway... .

    • Well I'm just not sure what to change is all..

    • your mindset. have gratitude for being alive and alble to breathe first. then realise that marriage is not the purpose of life. then realise how many divorces happen today cause people rush. then think the ACTUAL problems of your life love to relatives, healths, job etc and work on them... .

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 2

  • I can relate. I'm 26 and in a similar position. Had social anxiety for years so I've never had a girlfriend. Never got into the club scene. First thing I'd say is try to stop comparing yourself to others. try and find maybe a sports club with mixed sports that you can meet guys at or something similar. I don't rate online dating it seems just as hard. Overall be positive :)

  • I know how you feel. you wish there was some secret button you could push to make you un single but sadly there isn't.


What Girls Said 2

  • I'm 21! a virgin, never been kissed never had a boyfriend. I don't think there's anything wrong with us! We are just waiting for the right guy! :) our day will come! :)

  • Change has happen if you really want to adapt and relate to someone much better than you. The question is how willing are you to change?