Virgin at 22 and never had a boyfriend? Am I a loser?

[Anonymous]

Is it really weird nowadays for a girl to be a virgin at 22?

I don't consider myself outgoing ( I'm actually a homebody) and I don't have a lot of friends, either... I have a lot of issues with self esteem and will never ever dare approach a guy unless he initiates first... I've had a couple of guys approach me in college classes , but I get too scared and blush around guys I am attracted to...

Guys will act flirty around me, but rarely approach me to start a conversation...

How can I fix this? And I am a freak of nature?

Updates

+1 y

I can't approach guys though... That's way too much of a jump for me

[Brian-Brain]

You are not a loser or a freak of nature.

When I was 15 I was so shy I could not approach any girls. And girls would never give a second look. They did not like I thought. Than years later I when I had already left school) I spoke to one of the girls. She told me that several girls had a crush on me. Especially the girls i thought really didn't like me. They dared not to tell me because I was unapproachable. Without realizing it I never smiled when I was with girls and that created the fact I was unapproachable.

The perception what you have of yourself is not always how people perceive you. In my profession (bartender) I meet a lot of people and I notice that shy people sometimes look unapproachable. So maybe guys think you are hard to get.

Another thing. My cousin is a very shy girl and was rarely approached by guys. Nowadays when guys try to talk to her she immediately says "Sorry, I'm very shy." with a nice smile afterwards. That will give guys the idea that they are not being rejected so they will try harder to talk to you some more.

I hope this gives you some ideas.

[TigerRoseBear]

You're not a freak of nature. Definitely not. How to fix it? Slowly by slowly, little by little, get yourself to become more confident in approaching guys and talking to them. Have a reason for it, like asking for help or directions and then lol at the end say something like, "Thanks a lot... by the way, can I have your number?" haha. Or anything. That example was kinda a joke but go for it if you're confident enough. But just talk to guys in your college classes, and get to know more guys - and girls. You can get more friends that way. And by the way it's good that you're still a virgin at 22. You want your first time to be special and mean a lot. So right on :). Good luck becoming more outgoing. Just remember, it's all in your head. Once you just get past the mental stuff you're gold.

[TigerRoseBear]

@Update: It's not a jump. It's just the first step. You don't have to go up to them and approach them. You can just talk to the guy beside you in class if you want.

[Asker]

Thats hard, too

[TigerRoseBear]

Yeah definitely. But you can do it. Train yourself bit by bit to get more used to doing it and in no time you'll get more comfortable with it. Trust me, it's hard for everyone, even for people who do it all the time. But you'll never get better if you don't try it. Just go for it. Even if it's just a few sentences, or even just introducing yourself and getting the other person's name and stopping there and possibly starting again with the person the next day making the convo bigger. But try it.

[LickCurlyToenails]

I'm in the same situation apart from the fact that I'm 19. I just finished my first year at university and I started out really shy with no self esteem whatsoever but after meeting someone who was really outgoing and friendly I have learnt a lot of things from her and I'm slowly coming out of my shell. What you need to do is practice talking to people a lot and GO OUT more. That's what helped me. Just keep talking to people and smiling. I find this is helping me come out of my shell more. I've never had a boyfriend but I hope once I come out of my shell more I will get to be more confident with them in my classes. I really hope it works out for you.

[udolipixie]

Being a 22 year old virgin doesn't make you a loser.

Other than that I don't know if you're a loser. You could be or could not be.

You seem to have a sucky dating life- not outgoing but no hobby groups/club you mentioned, not a lot of friends, and you an't function around guys you like.

You can fix it by working on your self esteem issues, try talking to guys more often, get more guy friends, and start approaching guys.

You're not a freak of nature for being a 22 year old virgin with a sucky dating life and self esteem issues apparently that's the norm online. Other than that I can't tell if you are one.

[Anonymous]

I feel the exact same way. In fact I was about to post a similar question. I'm 22 never had a serious relationship, never had an "official" boyfriend, and still very much a virgin.

Like everyone is saying, you just have to ease yourself into situations that involve you talking with guys. Sure it's going to be hard, awkward, and downright terrifying but eventually you will get the hang of it and become not only comfortable talking with guys, but also have more confidence in yourself. Just take a deep breath, relax, and be yourself.

[FierceMegan]

I'm 23, (I'll be 24 in October) I'm a virgin, never had a boyfriend, never been kissed, or even on a date. I don't think I'm a loser. I think guys are losers for not asking me out. lol I'm just kidding. Just have fun and everything will fall in place. ;)

[knowmeyourself]

*Virgin Hi 5* lol

[FierceMegan]

:D

[Amillia1981]

I actually commend you for being a virgin. I think you are smart and wish that more people could be like you. I'm sure that more then half of the girls on this website wish they could go back and have waited for the right guy. You don't have to approach a guy but I'm sure that someone will come to you. Just be patient and remember that good things come to those who wait

[Scottydog0213]

Your awesome I was 20 years old as a guy. I believe you should probably feel comfortable and be able to have some knowledge at least to start and make you feel at ease. I’m not sure who you are., but I can say., that as an older man now that if you want to be at ease and learn something before you start., then get an older man to help you start and an easy and nice man to be helpful. I help old people and I’m not saying I should be the one but I would be gentle and easy and work with you to help you understand certain things as well as be comforting to help you learn until you feel comfortable.

[Hyped_up_on_coffee]

Being a virgin at 22 is OK I guess, it just means you have to make some changes in your life like change your look and diet a little bit , picking up a sport (adds confidence), going to clubs and trying to be out going. Cause I can tell from your description that you're probably not hideous just shy, you need to be more out going

[ilovecookies]

I'm almost 21 and I'm a virgin and I totally don't think I'm a loser, just never felt like doing it. Never found a guy that interesting that I wanted to be so close with him. You're not a freak of nature, you're just shy. Just act like yourself, you've got nothing to lose. He either likes you for yourself or not, it's just that simple. Approach him to be his friend, get to know him, and if it works out, try out being something more. Good luck, and be brave for yourself :D

[Ecudaniel]

lol, people say time will come but that's not the answer you have to change your personality, be more outgoin and since you 22 go to bars clubs get drunk and meet guys. Not sayin go and get lay with the first guy you c in a club but that's were you find people. Now invite your girlfriends to go to the club with you and I'm sure you'll be ask for your #.

[Ecudaniel]

go to clubs if you can't approach guyz I'm sure they will ask to dance and then you go... little by little u'll loose your shyness.

[Anonymous]

No worries. This is perfectly natural. You have to be a little bit more easy-going. If you act to shy and timid, boys will take it as a sign that you're not interested in them. You don't have to use words to let a guy know you're interested in them, use your body language. Look at them in their eyes, smile, bat your eyelashes, show them that you are interested in what they're saying. Don't be afraid to speak to them; they aren't savage beasts that will rip your head off, haha. But I once was like this before. I just started hanging out with a lot of male friends to make myself more comfortable around men.

[Ginevra]

I'm exactly like you - only 18. it's OKAY. I'm waiting until marriage, and I couldn't care less what people think of me. Sometimes my virginity bothers me, but usually I know that I am making the right choice. :)

[Blake90]

not weird...I'm a 21 year old guy...still a virgin...and to tell you the truth...most people in their twenties are a virgin...it's nothing like the movies where everybody's having sex in high school...they aren't...it's more a fictional image than reality

[NessielaKee]

Don't worry, you're not alone.

I'm an 18-year-old version of you...except for the self-esteem thing.

I'm just a bit of an introvert.

[jessica369]

no! it doesn't make you a loser at all, never think that.

better to be a virgin than a slut.

[ktp1990]

I'm 20 and still one, you sound a lot like me but at least you have guy coming up to you.I have never had a girl come up to me.

[Anonymous]

you are not a freak of nature and its not weird, I know a few people around the same age as you and they are the same still a virgin and also never had a relationship.

[Anonymous]

No because that means I am..give it time you don't need someone to make you happy

[Anonymous]

i'm a virgin at 28 and I only had one serious girlfriend, and that was when I was 24

[Anonymous]

Your not a loser, I was 24 when I had my 1st girlfriend and had sex don't worry it will happenen for you.

[pr3ttybr0wn]

i'm in the same boat. I feel so alone!

[CoffinWolf]

relax. your are normal.

[moviedude714]

i'm 23 and still a virgin

[moviedude714]

and at least you don't have to initiate

[ihatetakingcharge]

i'm 23 and still a virgin