Generally you can tell how good a guy REALLY is by the parents he has. If his parents have money and never had to go through hardships then most likely he is a snobbish douchebag hidden underneath a gold plated image. If he only had his mother and went through many hardships with her then he most likely will have more respect and be more caring for women. I am a good guy and more specifically a confident good guy. I have the bad boy appearance, but the good guy heart. I was beaten by my father through much of my child hood and spent much of the time I was gone from there caring for my crying and lonely mother. She like you was plagued with bad men in her life. Often times I sat there and was a crying shoulder for her and in the most extreme cases had to physically threaten out bad guys that would come around for her. It is from experiencing this that my mentality for treating girls and any children I may have one day is much nicer. I learned a great deal from those bad guys that came around for how they attracted my mother. They were hardly that attractive, but it was the manipulative tactics they used to fool her and confidence they had in themselves. Like occasionally bringing a surprise gift for her or doing something out of their way when the rest of the time they treated her like crap. So I do the same lol(in some aspects). When I ask a girl for her number I do it with confidence and flashy. A good example is when I asked for my second to last girlfriends number. She was in front of the school reading her textbook for European History and I stroll over and sit down right next to her. I start asking her what she is doing and then when she tells me I start reading the book next to her and pretend to fall asleep and snore real loud which makes her laugh. I then switch to looking for things we have in common and occasionally saying some funny things in between. Then when my ride came I plainly said, "I have to go, but you know I really like you and I'd like to have your number so we can talk some more" and she agreed and gave it to me. So we talked/texted for a couple days and then became boyfriend and girlfriend. That's really all it takes for most girls to be interested in you. You have to make yourself not come off as liking them solely for their looks, be charming/funny, flirt a little, build up something you guys have in common, and confidently ask for their number. Then after a couple days of you guys talking and flirting some more ask her out to some place(but don't tell her where! :D) and impress her even more to get her interested in you even more and at the end of the date if you guys have been having a good time sneak up a quick kiss on the lips. Good luck to you all!
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As a good guy I'll help you out with this one. 1. You have to know what type of guy you want. Once you know what you want then it makes things a little easier. 2. Every guy out there knows by now what every girl wants to hear, so they feed it to you and because the deceivers all say the right thing, you're unable to tell the difference between the good and the bad. For once, listen to what a man says and hold him accountable for it. Don't go on chanting you found the one when you haven't even given him a chance to prove himself yet. Many women indulge in sex too soon and find themselves played. Allow a man to prove his words true only through action and NOTHING else or else you lose every time. 3. USE YOUR HEAD! Stop allowing your heart to lead you until the coast is clear. "Look both ways before crossing the street," they say, because you just might get hit. The heart is deceiving and is controlled by emotion and trust me, any act of emotion isn't logical nor ethical. Learn to think with your head. It's almost like solving a math problem. 4. Project yourself as good you will find good, but you project as bad...you get my point. In order to get respect from any man, you must first respect yourself. I see too many women out there disrespecting themselves and demanding respect. Doesn't work that way. Too many women sleep with men they barely know and wonder why he doesn't come around anymore. I can go on and on but I'll let you digest this first. Hope I was able to help you. Good luck!
Hi there,
Hm,say I have been knowing heaps of guys and I am losing faith in them.
Guys always attract to girls but some or most of them are interested in sex and a dude I knew was about to get married right and he cheated on her but she didn't know and his guys covered for him for 5-6 years.
I was told I hooked up with one of the guy in the group but I didn't but well, the dude didn't trust me but his guys. Guys have the things for their mates and it is hard to digest and if we say sh7t about their friends, they get angry but if they tell us how bad their friends are, that's OK.
I got sh7t for what I didn't do and I was told to be deluded and guys even let a cheater to tell him I was a liar!
You should keep going out and making friends but before you try to talk to anyone, make sure their friends aare good. Nice people might end up being in a retarded groups of gangster wanna be or dikhead or cheaters and if these people see some potential in you, changing their mate or watever risk, they will get bk on you the sh7ttest way. No offense to any nice guys here but I have seen enough guys to groups cheating is a fab for guys and guy like my best friend is somehow taken or dead !
most guys are assholes! people can give all the politically correct answers they want but its not reality. you might have a few good guys that are few and far between but the vast majority of guys under 25-30 ain't about sh*t. girls are taught and conditioned to find a guy and fall in love...that is not what most guys are taught and conditioned to do. young guys are mainly sowing their wild oats and having fun. so basically they don't really give a f*** about girls all they are about is having sex with as many girls as possible. if you get hurt oh well, that's not their problem. so basically what you should do is put a wall up, trust very little and be super observant. don't give your heart or trust easily. make him work for it and prove he's not like all the other guys. don't have sex early on...guys who are looking for sex will run the other way and guys who just wanna f*** will leave you alone when they see that ur serious and not easily convinced. don't believe every little thing they say, 90% of the time its a lie to get what they want. be friendly but cautious and don't trust easily.
the key is friendly, and that seems to be your problem. if you're friendly all the time, then you're just looking for men who will take advantage of you. honesty is the key. if you could read their minds and move past the "easy target" then having a challenge could get you a great guy at bay.
eg. say that there a hot guy who's interested. and you've got him all attracted and stuff and he's got all the signs of sex, sex, sex... at that time, try:
"I can't be with you, you're not what I'm looking for. (walks away)"
he asks, "why?"
you answer, "you not looking for a girlfriend. you're looking for a piece of ass and frankly, I have better things to do (list your activities here), than to waste my time on sex."
by then, you're gonna find out if this guy wants sex or if he's a good guy. but given that he's gonna try to impress you (signs of potential good guy), make him work for it to get you. try negotiation.
by now, using the good of your judgement, you can decide if you wanna stay with this guy or not.
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To be honest there are good guys out there they are just hard to find like ill use myself as an example I don't cheat on girls never have never will I always treat girls like they are queens be the one that's always there for them pay for everything I do so much for them but expect so little back maybe just showing some emotion so if I plan this romantic date that I worked so hard on planning that when they get there they will be aww and you know they love it rather then get a cool and collect answer like this is nice which raises flags in my head like was thios even worth my while she doesn't seem as happy as I thought she'd be the only problem with me is I fall hard for a girl and I'm such a nice guy I don't smoke or drink and if girls have been hurt in past relationships I wanna be the one that proves that I'm not like the other guys when I'm single I'm a flirt but am to shy to do anything about it if I find a girl attractive I won't be going up to her anytime soon way to shy but when I'm in a relationship all my focus is on her makin her feel special making her feel like one in a million girls letting her know how much she means to me but the girls I go for are the ones that want bad boys and no matter how good of a guy I am I always finish last cause being this perfect guy so sweet and so caring still isn't good enough so there are guys that arnt d***s but girls seem to find them and no matter how much they've been hurt and no matter how much they argue they don't break up so you never get to me the guy of your dreams who will treat you the way you deserver cause he knows what your worth and that's how it is for my case I'm tryin to get a girl who has been so badly hurt in the past that there are so many barriers up to where I can't move anywhere near a relationship with her no matter how hard I try even when she know I like her and she like me she just won't budge so believe it or not there are guys out there that won't just try and have sex with you then not talk to you the next day but you just need to keep up hope and not just quit cause even though there are a lot of bad guys out there and believe me there are soo many yet there the ones that get the girls; just keep looking you will find mr right there are nice guys out there but they come in the fewest of numbers
i was going to say it, but I just noticed "dvdkn7" said it first, you've experienced a small portion of males. I'm trying not to make assumptions about you, like you said. but depending on where you spend a lot of time it may be the wrong place to meet relationship material guys. clubs, bars, even malls, and you'll find the jerks. do this little project though: go out to a mall anddon't try to talk to any guys, you're just observing this time. if a guy comes up to you, try to notice all the other guys around that are noticing you. there are exceptions to the rule, but more often than not they are the quiet and shy type. those are the ones that you might not have experienced yet. and don't assume anything about them just like you said you don't want assumptions about you. they are people and they have just as interesting, possibly more interesting, life story under the shell and behind their walls. give them a chance, be patient with getting them to break down their walls, and see what you find :)
The better question is why many girls are fooled so easily by not-so-nice guys?
The old story of the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing has part of the answer. The truth is that most of the not-so-nice guys go out of their way to trick girls like you and your friends. Then when a good guy really does show up, you've become so cynical that you slam the door in his face because you assume that every sheep is really a wolf.
How can you improve your sense of who is a wolf in disguise and who isn't? Well the first thing is to not just look at how the guy treats you, but what he's really like as a person. What is his internal moral code? Does he even have one? Unless he's a total sociopath, he's not going to wear the disguise 24/7.
The problem is getting to know him well enough that you see when he takes off his disguise. Of course, there's probably a part of you that doesn't want to see the disguise. He says and does all the right things just for you, so you overlook all the signs that would reveal he's not the person he's claiming to be. This is common, so that's also why your friends happened to end up with guys like that. It's also common for guys to make the same mistake with girls.
Part of the problem is that there really are a lot of crappy people (guys and girls), and we've grown up in a "me" generation where we're encouraged to be narcissistic and put ourselves before others. There are still guys who would refuse to cheat even when tempted, because they know it's wrong but you gotta find someone who has strong moral convictions. Someone who knows the meaning of the word "shame". Unfortunately, in today's society, people who have morals are often times portrayed as prudish or unsexy, so you have to overcome the cultural brainwashing.It's not that we don't exist, it's that most of us are shy, more timid, or otherwise less likely to put ourselves out there. Good guys tend to go under the radar if your eyes aren't as wide open as you can get them and you're lifting stones.
I don't find your question offensive in the least, we can be pretty hard to find, but sometimes we're in the places you'd expect the least... right under your nose. Often times it's the guy who seems to be overly nice and helpful and is truly a caring "friend" that actually has the most interest and potential for being more than just a friend.
It's not that we don't exist, maybe it's just that you haven't met one yet so your faith in finding one is low. Don't give up on what you want, no one deserves to be mistreated, abused, abandoned or cheated on either emotionally or physically. I wish you the best of luck in finding a true man instead of childish boy that cheats and plays games with your feelings.
I sincerely hope this question helps, and that you find who you're looking for and what you're looking for in life.No. Every single guy in the entire world is bad. --Seriously, what kind of a question is that? Obviously not every guy is bad. You really should have asked "How can I find a good guy? All I can seem to find are bad guys that lie and cheat." After all, that's what you want to know. I understand that whole self-pity thing where you think every guy is bad just because you can't find a good one. The good guys are out there, you just need to find them.
Think of it this way, if you're digging for a treasure you know exists somewhere in a defined region, doesn't it make the most since to very your digging and spread it out to get the greatest sample size rather than digging in the same place all the time?
Most of the time, women like you who can't seem to find a good guy have mostly their selves to blame. You go after the same kind of guy every time and then act surprised when he's no better than the last guy. The saying that if at first you don't succeed, try again implies something that many people overlook: try again, but go about it a different way, otherwise you'll just get the same outcome.
You should start making new friends outside of your group, go to different places to meet people (possibly consider what places attract different types of guys, and use this to gauge what type of guy you'll meet there). Maybe take a karate class or something to expand your pool of prospects.
Sorry if I sounded harsh, it was intentional, but do not confuse that with being mean. I'm trying to be helpful, and sometimes that is best accomplished by being blunt.I will answer your question, and you can listen to the rest
of these human bodies with d***s, or you can listen to me.
Girls seek something different unconsciously, they constantly
test guys even when they don't really take time to think about it.
99% of the guys play the nice guy sweet game with a girl, and if
you think about it, girls get hit up by guys on a daily basis up to 25
times a day if you're somewhere up on that scale you should be
getting somewhere near that number. The thing is, that women
nowadays get so bored and even turned off by the indifferent idiots
who try to seduce them and get their little d***s wet...
If you look at it from an ‘economic’ standpoint, it
doesn’t benefit women at all to have their man running
around having sex with other women. She can only be
pregnant with one child at a time, and she can only raise
a limited number at a time. So having a man who’s out
spreading his seed is BAD BAD BAD for business for her.
I personally believe that men are hard-wired to look
for sexual opportunities and seek out sexual variety.
My perspective is that sleeping with different women
breaks no ‘law of the universe’, and it’s not an ethical
dilemma for me. Any objections that are in existence
were created mostly to control and not to liberate. My
perspective is also that it’s important to be honest with
people about your views. And yes, this means talking to
women about them. In my life, I’ve mostly had long-term
girlfriends. And if I tell a woman that I’m going to be
faithful, then I am. So instead of telling people that they
are making wrong judgments about YOU, check yourself
before you make judgments about the 1% of the guys who
are like me, and MAYBE you'll find the right one...Good Luck!Like most girls your age you are probably retarded when it comes to judging guys and deciding which kind you like. No offense. Most girls have male "friends" they reject and ignore to chase after the assholes and then they complain to that nice supporting friend(I am that guy usually) ANd its frusturating as hell for us. Yeah we want sex too though. The "nice guys" who get walked all over are wanting someone to make out with and make love too as well there's no shame in that. They are kinda insecure for them it has a lot to do with their self esteem they are wishing a women wouldn't just see him for having an interesting conversation helping with her homework "being like a brother to her" but as someone exciting romantic and/or sexy. I have always wanted to be both. A lot of girls have told me your a good friend lets just be friends. So its like If I never want to get laid I can just keep being who I really am but If I wanted you to be my actual girlfriend Ishould never been friendly to you in the first place Well blah blah I don't want to complain too much about the bullsh*t of high school days. Other than to say a lot of girls are cold ego boosting players themselves with no respect for men or their feelings and though it is basically true we are all horny with strong sexual urges many of us care about women on a deeper level as well. Sure sometimes I find a girl sexy who I don't care about but on the flip side If I care about a girl a lot and she's not way younger or older than me I tend to find her sexually attractive. I think a lot of guys are afraid to show their feelings and be more gentle romantic because they have gotten rejection and pretty harsh expectations from other guys and girls. No guys whos not gay wants to be called gay. And women are part of the problem here. They are stuck on a hollywood version of "real men" and through their cold shoulder they punish guys who don't conform to it and reward those that do.
There ARE good guys out there... Trouble is, you girls just let us slip right under the radar, because we're not "fun", meaning: loud, obnoxious, arrogant, cocky, or cause a bunch of unnecessary drama...
Us good guys, may be a little quieter, shyer, maybe sometimes a little awkward. But I'll tell you one thing we have that the cocky jerk doesn't have... A heart. It's us good guys that are in relationships for the right reasons, that let ourselves be vulnerable like anyone in love should. It's too bad that most girls are so used to being with "Mr. Tough Guy" (or some guy that can't even respect himself, let alone his girl) that they don't see the value in our shyness or awkwardness or us making ourselves vulnerable if we DO actually work up the courage to make a move on her...
Instead, it's a lot of good guys getting labeled as creeps or "weird" because of our good nature and putting ourselves out there... Any REAL man will show his emotions, especially to the one he loves. It's not about being "Mr. Macho" or looking for someone to "fix" because they have a million issues. It's about finding someone that is ALREADY good enough for you and that you can be vulnerable around each other and trust each other and be emotional together. To me that would be the greatest relationship.
The sad thing is, a lot of people don't know what it means to LOVE... all the world seems to know anymore is LUST. It's in our popular music, our entertainment... LUST is, sadly, glorified in our society and it has an effect on most. LOVE is something different.
Do good guys exist? Most certainly... You just need to open your heart to new and different things/people/etc. It's a shame a lot of us good guys have to wait around a while for love, girls are most definitely missing out. But I guess there's a time and a place for everything.As Olympia Dukakis said in Moonstruck "its the fear of death and getting old" that men cheat...they feel as if they can cheat death by cheating with other girls...now being a guy who has never cheated I can tell you that there is a part of our nature that it is inherent and uncontrollable for us to consistently think about sex the majority of the time -it just happens but what we can control is how we deal with those thoughts...by not acknowledging that we have those thoughts 99.9% of the time is purely denial of our sexual nature...I know about the whole "player syndrome" that the guy thinks if he can sack "x amount of girls" it makes him more of a man when in reality this makes him less of one and more like a pathetic bro-ho on 53rd and 3rd turning tricks, its done not for the betterment of himself but to impress his friends which makes the whole act of doing that purely an act and kind of gay. Now when you say that you are losing faith that there are no more good guys out there I can only say you ought to hold steadfast becuase there are more than plenty left...but itll probably be tough going to find one in a bar. Make some new guy friends because typically before I ask a girl out I become friends with her because the friendship (if its healthy and she and I have the chemistry) it grows into something more. Also when I talk about a guy thinking about sex the majority of the time there is a time that he should let it out and a time he should keep his pride tucked -my motto is if I've been going out with a girl for a while and she and I both have not only a healthy relationship one based on trust and compromise and our liking is turning into loving then sex is ok but in all other cases unless I am super drunk or stoned and can't remember anything the next morning then I keep those thoughts to myself.
They ARE out there. The problem is that women label them as "Clingy", "Boring", "Too Easy", "Not Fixable" or whatever utter bullshit that can be thought of.
"Clingy" meaning that you get easily annoyed by the attention YOU sought for then hold it against him when he still gives you that same amount of attention you now don't want or need weeks later.
"Boring" meaning not a drunk, stupid, brainless or anything in that regard.
"Too easy" meaning you are expecting the worst or something to go wrong then hold the first or smallest thing against him and make him feel less of a human being for it.
"Not Fixable" meaning he doesn't have faults like a "bad boy" and you don't have anything to make better (which FYI you will NEVER fix a jerk. Once a jerk always a jerk).
You really want a nice guy? Stop labeling them with these terms and give them a chance instead of finding a reason not to. You'd be amazed how simple it would be to find one if you stop following useless trends and making good guys look horrible for no proper reason (Sorry but being "Clingy" or "Not Fixable" isn't a reason its an excuse for being lazy and not wanting to put the effort in to try and work through it). I could bet my next paycheck that you already know of a guy like this but you did this to him already. THAT'S the good guy you have been looking for but made excuses not to give him a chance he deserves.Honestly, most guys love sex. We really are crazy for it. It takes a little while to get that under control: eventually we work out that the best sex is with people we love.
Now if you have some issues trusting guys, I can't blame you. Because, honestly, you don't have issues - you have experience. And you have experience of some curious world in which cheating is the norm. And, honestly, cheating is not the norm - and certainly not in the full-on and shameless way you describe. Try a different social circle. Or try a guy who's a little older, and will be more able to appreciate you.Yes unfortunately a good male is hard to find these days. I know a lot of d*** bags.. who treat female poorly and or are just looking for sex. Us "Good guys" are out there. Hard to find but there. I know it looks pretty dismal but these experiences are what shape you into who you are and your likes and dislikes. life ain't easy. and you gotta work and look for what you want it won't just come to you. besides what would be the fun in that? So keep your head up and keep looking you will find the right guy eventually.
Good luck
-DeathecutionerIt's the basic problem with guys that are just plain garbage. It always kills me to see a sweet girl be with a guy who just doesn't derserve her at all. Girls are like treasure and they deserve to be treated as such. The truth is, as some other guys have posted here, is that girls overlook the good guys because well, we're just shy and it's usually the overconfident guys that are the douchebags.
A girl to me derserves to be treated like a goddess. Sex should be at the bottom of things to do. For me, an ideal girl would just want to cuddle, talk for hours about complete nonsense, go walking in the park even if it's chilly outside because the warmth of our bodies would heat each other up. I've yet to find that girl, but I know that there are more good girls out there than guys. If a guy is looking for sex right out of the get go, that should be a major red flag because that means that sex is the only thing on his mind and chances are, he'll end up hurting you.
There are good guys out there, you just have to look past the exterior.There are plenty of good guys out there. I like to consider myself a stand up gent. I don't cheat, I'm not one of those douche bags who stands for minutes staring at a girl who walks by. No I'm not gay, I was just raised differently. I respect women. And I can honestly say that I could give a flying f--- about sex. I'd rather have a girl who I can share everything with (ex.my fears and aspirations). Someone to snuggle with,especially in these cold ass winter months.
So like everyone else has said on here, yes good guys are out there. Just don't be stupid like some women and seek assholes and dudes who treat you like sh*t.I won't lie to you, most men are selfish scumbags. Well, frankly all people are selfish scumbags in different ways. With men it generally manifests as being horny, senseless, inconsiderate morons. Just like women are selfish in being needy, controlling, whiney, etc. There are quality men out there, but it requires patience and self-control from you. If you want the right guy, you need to be willing to wait for him to appear (you aren't going to find him, he's going to find you). That means waiting to see if he's a scumbag BEFORE you get involved with him. Generally maturity plays into it a lot too. American men aren't mature anymore, and they aren't required to be...because easy, needy, emotionally distraught (or just loose) women enable them to act this way.
The moment you stop obsessing over finding a good mate is the moment one will find you.
-Count D.Uh Uh Uh.. Me! Me! Me! *jumps around*
Just kidding.
You see, there is no Mr. Perfect in this world.. as well as Mrs. Perfect.
Each one has different faults.
Now, I ask you a question..
Which one do you prefer: Boys? or Men?
Boys want short term relationship where they can fulfill their lust and desire FROM the girls.
Men want long term relationship where they can provide love and protection FOR their women.
Oh.. and men also like discussion too =)
If your experiences are related to boys boys and boys, then don't assume men are also boys.
Hope this helps.
Cheers,
FSLike Drummerdude said, Girls look for guys in all the wrong places, I can't count the number of times a girl I liked then went out with some douche that treated her like crap, and I ask myself ...why? But there are nice guys out there, just you may be looking in all the wrong places...for instance, that nerd that's quiet and mostly keeps to himself could be the one, but you'll never know because you're (not youlol) going out with the douchey asshole jerk.
sorry to sound rude but it's the truth, I see girls date douches all the time and then they come to people like me and cry and say why did that happen, and I want to tell them so bad that I saw it coming. Then they get emotionally stable and go through the whole thing again.Well I don't have any guy friends because like you, I find them to all be reprehensible. Even as they put on a show of being decent, you can immediately tell that there's something slimy and rotten at the bottom of their souls. So I'm with you. Men are largely worthless.
We only see what we are looking for. The more convinced we are that there are only guys out there cheating and looking for sex, that is what we will see. Change your mindset and you will start seeing the good guys that have been right under your nose the whole time.
Problem is, the guys that don't want to get in your pants from first talking usually are the ones that also are so used to rejection that they don't try approaching girls romantically, and just friendly.
They can't find you since they already figure you'll either turn them down, or with someone else basically. Good guys that actually actively go out in aim to try picking up a girl is like picking the winning lottery numbers tell the truth.
In other words, see the guys that act friendly to you but never approach or do things to catch yoru attention? Yup, you'll just keep on ignoring em.
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