Is there any good guys out there?

i know that question seems a little extreme but honestly I'm losing faith in the male gender, I need someone to convince me that not all guys are cheaters or just looking for sex. all the guys I seem to find that all they are about...even my best guy friends all they do is find girls to have sleep with, even the ones with girlfriends. I have had countless boyfriends cheat on me and I have had countless guys with girlfriends hit on me...even my best girlfriends boyfriends have tried sweet talking me...all this has lead me to have a lot of trust issues with guys...sorry guys if this is offensive, but try to change that opinion and give me some input as to why guys ask like this.

*why guys act like this?
oh I have the biggest open heart btw...I'm friendly to every guy because I've been trying to find that good one.
u guys are making a lot of wrong judgments and assumptions about me.
i must say I do like the discussion we are getting into...a lot of good things being said. thank you all.
"Try hitting on a attractive shy guy and see what happens. He'll get excited/scared at first. However when he warms up to you may be VERY surprised."---so that worked and I finally found a guy and I couldn't be happier in my relationship.
wow I can't believe this post is still active. anyway things with the guy are still going great,he is the sweetest most caring guy and I'm very lucky to have found him. thank you all who responded. I now believe there are good guys out there.


Most Helpful Guy

  • As a good guy I'll help you out with this one. 1. You have to know what type of guy you want. Once you know what you want then it makes things a little easier. 2. Every guy out there knows by now what every girl wants to hear, so they feed it to you and because the deceivers all say the right thing, you're unable to tell the difference between the good and the bad. For once, listen to what a man says and hold him accountable for it. Don't go on chanting you found the one when you haven't even given him a chance to prove himself yet. Many women indulge in sex too soon and find themselves played. Allow a man to prove his words true only through action and NOTHING else or else you lose every time. 3. USE YOUR HEAD! Stop allowing your heart to lead you until the coast is clear. "Look both ways before crossing the street," they say, because you just might get hit. The heart is deceiving and is controlled by emotion and trust me, any act of emotion isn't logical nor ethical. Learn to think with your head. It's almost like solving a math problem. 4. Project yourself as good you will find good, but you project as get my point. In order to get respect from any man, you must first respect yourself. I see too many women out there disrespecting themselves and demanding respect. Doesn't work that way. Too many women sleep with men they barely know and wonder why he doesn't come around anymore. I can go on and on but I'll let you digest this first. Hope I was able to help you. Good luck!

    • Wow this is a great answer... thank you!

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    • Its hard to follow these steps but I'll try

    • I love this answer. You are so right about needing to respect yourself. Unfortunately there is such a culture now that glorifies women's sexuality in a way that makes casual sex look "cool" and treats FWB and hookups as something that women in the know should do. Never base life decisions on what TV and film makers are making money off of. Base it on good old-fashioned values and common sense. Respect yourself if you want a respectable guy.

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 97

  • The better question is why many girls are fooled so easily by not-so-nice guys?

    The old story of the Wolf in Sheep's Clothing has part of the answer. The truth is that most of the not-so-nice guys go out of their way to trick girls like you and your friends. Then when a good guy really does show up, you've become so cynical that you slam the door in his face because you assume that every sheep is really a wolf.

    How can you improve your sense of who is a wolf in disguise and who isn't? Well the first thing is to not just look at how the guy treats you, but what he's really like as a person. What is his internal moral code? Does he even have one? Unless he's a total sociopath, he's not going to wear the disguise 24/7.

    The problem is getting to know him well enough that you see when he takes off his disguise. Of course, there's probably a part of you that doesn't want to see the disguise. He says and does all the right things just for you, so you overlook all the signs that would reveal he's not the person he's claiming to be. This is common, so that's also why your friends happened to end up with guys like that. It's also common for guys to make the same mistake with girls.

    Part of the problem is that there really are a lot of crappy people (guys and girls), and we've grown up in a "me" generation where we're encouraged to be narcissistic and put ourselves before others. There are still guys who would refuse to cheat even when tempted, because they know it's wrong but you gotta find someone who has strong moral convictions. Someone who knows the meaning of the word "shame". Unfortunately, in today's society, people who have morals are often times portrayed as prudish or unsexy, so you have to overcome the cultural brainwashing.

    • I dated a sociopath, and here's how I was fooled. Even if he slipped and said things like 'I don't care what you think, I'll do it anyway', made fun of me in front of our friends, and abandoned me when I needed him, I forgave him. Everyone messes up, right? And he was normally so nice! He was sweet, thoughtful, protective, got me flowers when I was sick, let me cry on him, pretended to open up to me, (He never told me his real problems or let me help) He used 'dating a nice girl from church' to boost his own standings. People like and trust me, so if I loved him, he had to be good, right? He became Youth Minister, got a promotion, got sober, and a house. Once he didn't need me, he dumped me. He became a different person, and I can't believe he is the same guy I dated! He admitted after he left he is a spath, and that I was replaceable with any woman to him. I'm shy, gullible, the perfect target. Not sure how to trust anyone again, after being so perfectly hoodwinked.

    • So sorry that happened to you!!!

      I do see what you're saying. It's hard to know if someone is just a normal imperfect human, or really messed up and pretending to be something they're not. Obviously, if he didn't want to open up to you, then that is a bit of a red flag... although it's hard to know if that is because he is lying to you, or because he himself has trust issues. Sometimes it's both.

      The one thing that's clear to me is that you can't really control the actions of others in this world. You can only control your own actions. I think it's okay to be slow to trust someone, even if it's someone you're dating. I know that's probably really hard, because it's hard for me too. When you have feelings for someone, you want to trust them. That makes everyone who isn't a sociopath vulnerable. But it's still important not to be too cynical, and treat others with kindness even if you don't know if they deserve it. You only have control over your own actions.

  • I won't lie to you, most men are selfish scumbags. Well, frankly all people are selfish scumbags in different ways. With men it generally manifests as being horny, senseless, inconsiderate morons. Just like women are selfish in being needy, controlling, whiney, etc. There are quality men out there, but it requires patience and self-control from you. If you want the right guy, you need to be willing to wait for him to appear (you aren't going to find him, he's going to find you). That means waiting to see if he's a scumbag BEFORE you get involved with him. Generally maturity plays into it a lot too. American men aren't mature anymore, and they aren't required to be...because easy, needy, emotionally distraught (or just loose) women enable them to act this way.

    The moment you stop obsessing over finding a good mate is the moment one will find you.

    -Count D.

  • Uh Uh Uh.. Me! Me! Me! *jumps around*

    Just kidding.

    You see, there is no Mr. Perfect in this world.. as well as Mrs. Perfect.

    Each one has different faults.

    Now, I ask you a question..

    Which one do you prefer: Boys? or Men?

    Boys want short term relationship where they can fulfill their lust and desire FROM the girls.

    Men want long term relationship where they can provide love and protection FOR their women.

    Oh.. and men also like discussion too =)

    If your experiences are related to boys boys and boys, then don't assume men are also boys.

    Hope this helps.



  • Like Drummerdude said, Girls look for guys in all the wrong places, I can't count the number of times a girl I liked then went out with some douche that treated her like crap, and I ask myself ...why? But there are nice guys out there, just you may be looking in all the wrong places...for instance, that nerd that's quiet and mostly keeps to himself could be the one, but you'll never know because you're (not youlol) going out with the douchey asshole jerk.

    sorry to sound rude but it's the truth, I see girls date douches all the time and then they come to people like me and cry and say why did that happen, and I want to tell them so bad that I saw it coming. Then they get emotionally stable and go through the whole thing again.

    • Well said brother.

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    • If you saw it coming you should've warned her! I can't tell you how many times my guy friends have told me afterwards that they could tell the guy I was with was a douche, and I just wish they had said something!

    • You my friend, have a years beyond your age.

  • There are plenty of good guys out there. I like to consider myself a stand up gent. I don't cheat, I'm not one of those douche bags who stands for minutes staring at a girl who walks by. No I'm not gay, I was just raised differently. I respect women. And I can honestly say that I could give a flying f--- about sex. I'd rather have a girl who I can share everything with ( fears and aspirations). Someone to snuggle with,especially in these cold ass winter months.

    So like everyone else has said on here, yes good guys are out there. Just don't be stupid like some women and seek assholes and dudes who treat you like sh*t.

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    • I was raised by my mother and my aunt, 2 of the strongest single women that I know. They told me that women are not objects or pieces of meat and that if they EVER heard me refer to them as such then they would make it so I wouldn't be able to sit down for weeks at a time. So whenever I see a beautiful woman walk past me, I either simply smile and say hello or I don't do anything at all. I don't stare and them with a dropped jaw and start to salivate.

    • True chivalry isn't dead with people like you in this world. Pay it forward man.

  • Yes unfortunately a good male is hard to find these days. I know a lot of d*** bags.. who treat female poorly and or are just looking for sex. Us "Good guys" are out there. Hard to find but there. I know it looks pretty dismal but these experiences are what shape you into who you are and your likes and dislikes. life ain't easy. and you gotta work and look for what you want it won't just come to you. besides what would be the fun in that? So keep your head up and keep looking you will find the right guy eventually.

    Good luck


  • Honestly, most guys love sex. We really are crazy for it. It takes a little while to get that under control: eventually we work out that the best sex is with people we love.

    Now if you have some issues trusting guys, I can't blame you. Because, honestly, you don't have issues - you have experience. And you have experience of some curious world in which cheating is the norm. And, honestly, cheating is not the norm - and certainly not in the full-on and shameless way you describe. Try a different social circle. Or try a guy who's a little older, and will be more able to appreciate you.

  • i was going to say it, but I just noticed "dvdkn7" said it first, you've experienced a small portion of males. I'm trying not to make assumptions about you, like you said. but depending on where you spend a lot of time it may be the wrong place to meet relationship material guys. clubs, bars, even malls, and you'll find the jerks. do this little project though: go out to a mall anddon't try to talk to any guys, you're just observing this time. if a guy comes up to you, try to notice all the other guys around that are noticing you. there are exceptions to the rule, but more often than not they are the quiet and shy type. those are the ones that you might not have experienced yet. and don't assume anything about them just like you said you don't want assumptions about you. they are people and they have just as interesting, possibly more interesting, life story under the shell and behind their walls. give them a chance, be patient with getting them to break down their walls, and see what you find :)

  • Yes they're out there... Here's one right here! ;)

    The thing is, we end up walking right under your nose, and girls just pass us by. We're like invisible to girls. Shame because I have a lot to give... You need to open up your eyes to different guys. Guys that maybe aren't as sexually appealing at "first sight". Get to know a good, shy, down-to-earth guy and give him a chance to open up and be himself.

    It just takes an open heart.

  • Well I don't have any guy friends because like you, I find them to all be reprehensible. Even as they put on a show of being decent, you can immediately tell that there's something slimy and rotten at the bottom of their souls. So I'm with you. Men are largely worthless.

    • Sadly I'm only friends with I see the inside workings and operations of their motives and intentions and I never like what I see.

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    • Show me a woman with nothing slimy and rotten at the bottom of her soul.

      I believe this opinion is one of the attributes to your box of slimy secrets.

    • I know all sorts of women with nothing wrong with them except that they are shallow and stupid.

  • Problem is, the guys that don't want to get in your pants from first talking usually are the ones that also are so used to rejection that they don't try approaching girls romantically, and just friendly.

    They can't find you since they already figure you'll either turn them down, or with someone else basically. Good guys that actually actively go out in aim to try picking up a girl is like picking the winning lottery numbers tell the truth.

    In other words, see the guys that act friendly to you but never approach or do things to catch yoru attention? Yup, you'll just keep on ignoring em.

  • No. Every single guy in the entire world is bad. --Seriously, what kind of a question is that? Obviously not every guy is bad. You really should have asked "How can I find a good guy? All I can seem to find are bad guys that lie and cheat." After all, that's what you want to know. I understand that whole self-pity thing where you think every guy is bad just because you can't find a good one. The good guys are out there, you just need to find them.

    Think of it this way, if you're digging for a treasure you know exists somewhere in a defined region, doesn't it make the most since to very your digging and spread it out to get the greatest sample size rather than digging in the same place all the time?

    Most of the time, women like you who can't seem to find a good guy have mostly their selves to blame. You go after the same kind of guy every time and then act surprised when he's no better than the last guy. The saying that if at first you don't succeed, try again implies something that many people overlook: try again, but go about it a different way, otherwise you'll just get the same outcome.

    You should start making new friends outside of your group, go to different places to meet people (possibly consider what places attract different types of guys, and use this to gauge what type of guy you'll meet there). Maybe take a karate class or something to expand your pool of prospects.

    Sorry if I sounded harsh, it was intentional, but do not confuse that with being mean. I'm trying to be helpful, and sometimes that is best accomplished by being blunt.

    • If you saw some of my guy freinds they are the geekiest and nerdiest guys...and they are still assholes,

    • Me too. I have a group of geeky guy friends (one owns a game shop where they play dnd) and I wouldn't recommend ANY of them as a boyfriend. Some of the ways I've seen them act... They really don’t know the first thing about how to properly treat a girl.

  • LOLOLOLOL. "Is there any good guys out there" Yea obviously, the ones that you and half the woman on the planet tend to reject.

  • I'm studying neuroscience and psychology, but that aside for now, from my personal experiences, both genders, if given the right circumstances, will sleep with each other despite being in a serious relationship. We are made this way as many have answered, and you are made to be attracted to the dominant, aggressive, confident male whose underlying objective is to sleep with as many women as possible. Because they can. Men who cannot often are not worth your time, even though they will be loyal.

    The more high demand --> the less prone a person is to dedicating oneself completely to any particular demand. We seek novelty and learning/experiencing new things. If we can do this, we will.

    Nature doesn't care about who gets hurt or abused or cheated on as long as it can perpetuate itself.

  • Like most girls your age you are probably retarded when it comes to judging guys and deciding which kind you like. No offense. Most girls have male "friends" they reject and ignore to chase after the assholes and then they complain to that nice supporting friend(I am that guy usually) ANd its frusturating as hell for us. Yeah we want sex too though. The "nice guys" who get walked all over are wanting someone to make out with and make love too as well there's no shame in that. They are kinda insecure for them it has a lot to do with their self esteem they are wishing a women wouldn't just see him for having an interesting conversation helping with her homework "being like a brother to her" but as someone exciting romantic and/or sexy. I have always wanted to be both. A lot of girls have told me your a good friend lets just be friends. So its like If I never want to get laid I can just keep being who I really am but If I wanted you to be my actual girlfriend Ishould never been friendly to you in the first place Well blah blah I don't want to complain too much about the bullsh*t of high school days. Other than to say a lot of girls are cold ego boosting players themselves with no respect for men or their feelings and though it is basically true we are all horny with strong sexual urges many of us care about women on a deeper level as well. Sure sometimes I find a girl sexy who I don't care about but on the flip side If I care about a girl a lot and she's not way younger or older than me I tend to find her sexually attractive. I think a lot of guys are afraid to show their feelings and be more gentle romantic because they have gotten rejection and pretty harsh expectations from other guys and girls. No guys whos not gay wants to be called gay. And women are part of the problem here. They are stuck on a hollywood version of "real men" and through their cold shoulder they punish guys who don't conform to it and reward those that do.

    • Im fina b 17 and I am not retarded @ all. I agree with the that mahority are. I know what I want yet all I get is the thirsty ass worthless niggas.

    • I can relate. I find it very hard to find a good girl who doesn't have a boyfriend

    • There are lot of good guys in the world. You are not noticing them. Boys are pretty retarded when it comes to judging girls as well. Also sometime if you see a guy you think is "good" by your standards sometimes you have to make a move, you don't necessarily have to ask him out but if you start a conversation with him and look him in the eye he will know you are interested in him

  • There ARE good guys out there... Trouble is, you girls just let us slip right under the radar, because we're not "fun", meaning: loud, obnoxious, arrogant, cocky, or cause a bunch of unnecessary drama...

    Us good guys, may be a little quieter, shyer, maybe sometimes a little awkward. But I'll tell you one thing we have that the cocky jerk doesn't have... A heart. It's us good guys that are in relationships for the right reasons, that let ourselves be vulnerable like anyone in love should. It's too bad that most girls are so used to being with "Mr. Tough Guy" (or some guy that can't even respect himself, let alone his girl) that they don't see the value in our shyness or awkwardness or us making ourselves vulnerable if we DO actually work up the courage to make a move on her...

    Instead, it's a lot of good guys getting labeled as creeps or "weird" because of our good nature and putting ourselves out there... Any REAL man will show his emotions, especially to the one he loves. It's not about being "Mr. Macho" or looking for someone to "fix" because they have a million issues. It's about finding someone that is ALREADY good enough for you and that you can be vulnerable around each other and trust each other and be emotional together. To me that would be the greatest relationship.

    The sad thing is, a lot of people don't know what it means to LOVE... all the world seems to know anymore is LUST. It's in our popular music, our entertainment... LUST is, sadly, glorified in our society and it has an effect on most. LOVE is something different.

    Do good guys exist? Most certainly... You just need to open your heart to new and different things/people/etc. It's a shame a lot of us good guys have to wait around a while for love, girls are most definitely missing out. But I guess there's a time and a place for everything.

  • I just want to get this out there.

    Change your display picture.

    You don't need to be showing guys your t*ts when you tell them you want a dream guy.

    That's just hilarious.

    And 2. You should read. "I hope they serve beer in hell."

    Now take that and ask yourself this question.

    Women have no faith in guys.

    And guys have no faith in women.

    You have to be mature enough to find someone that you can settle down with.

    And stop with all the excuses and bullsh*t drama that people go through nowadays.

    It's all a waste of time, and I hate people who waste my time personally.

    So just think about everyone else.

  • I will answer your question, and you can listen to the rest

    of these human bodies with d***s, or you can listen to me.

    Girls seek something different unconsciously, they constantly

    test guys even when they don't really take time to think about it.

    99% of the guys play the nice guy sweet game with a girl, and if

    you think about it, girls get hit up by guys on a daily basis up to 25

    times a day if you're somewhere up on that scale you should be

    getting somewhere near that number. The thing is, that women

    nowadays get so bored and even turned off by the indifferent idiots

    who try to seduce them and get their little d***s wet...

    If you look at it from an ‘economic’ standpoint, it

    doesn’t benefit women at all to have their man running

    around having sex with other women. She can only be

    pregnant with one child at a time, and she can only raise

    a limited number at a time. So having a man who’s out

    spreading his seed is BAD BAD BAD for business for her.

    I personally believe that men are hard-wired to look

    for sexual opportunities and seek out sexual variety.

    My perspective is that sleeping with different women

    breaks no ‘law of the universe’, and it’s not an ethical

    dilemma for me. Any objections that are in existence

    were created mostly to control and not to liberate. My

    perspective is also that it’s important to be honest with

    people about your views. And yes, this means talking to

    women about them. In my life, I’ve mostly had long-term

    girlfriends. And if I tell a woman that I’m going to be

    faithful, then I am. So instead of telling people that they

    are making wrong judgments about YOU, check yourself

    before you make judgments about the 1% of the guys who

    are like me, and MAYBE you'll find the right one...Good Luck!

  • I like to count myself as one of the good guys.

    I'm waiting for marriage, so sex is kind of a moot point right now. Actually, I was cheated on and in a pretty emasculating way, so I know how horrible it can feel.

    Know that you're seeing boys. Not real men. I think once you find someone like you, (not a romantic relationship necessarily) you may be able to see more hope first hand, instead of hearing it from guys you don't know.

    I thought I was worthless and stupid based on how a lot of people treated me - then I met my best female friend - I joke that she's an older female version of me. And that gives me hope for MY future, as she really has her life together. As bad as things get, I have her as my friend; and I know that either there's at least one other nut job out there who I can have hang out with, or there's another sane person in a crazy world. It's calming.

  • If there is a "nice guy" in the "bad boy" package, I'll die from laughter.

    I've also understood that there's this insane compulsion that women think they can change a man. Total bullsh*t, but those women keep trying.

    So I recommend the following to you and whomever is in this scenario :



    If you want a good looking man with a good heart, which part do you want more?

    Try looking for a good hearted man who's attractive. See what I did there... psychology :)

    Also : try nerds. 99% of them are very good hearted and they would never try to flirt with your attractive girlfriends.

    Yours truly,

    A nerd.

  • Not all guys are cheaters, and I'm too lazy to read all the replies you have gotten.

    I personally have never cheater on a girlfriend, nor will I. In fact, I had a girlfriend cheat on me!

    If you want to find a nice, decent guy, find a nerdy one - lol! Nerdy guys will be appreciative to have a girlfriend and will worship the ground you walk on. Plus, you can fix up his nerdy appearance, find better clothes, etc - nerdy guys usually clean up to look like your normal guy with the added bonus of being deeply attached to you.

    So, where to meet nerdy guys? Ballroom is a good place to start looking, I would guess 80% engineers (plus the can dance). You'd never find a nice nerdy guy at a bar, or club, or probably even a starbucks! See if there are robotics events in your area, that would attract nerds.

    I can also tell you that all of my friends have never cheated in a relationship!

  • Girls seem to think that the only guys that exist are the ones they're attracted to, so when the guys they like tend to have bad qualities, they try to equate those qualities to the entire gender.

    In reality, guys are much more diverse, but your preferences are much narrower.

    So basically, your assumption that there are no good guys basically means that of the guys you like, none of them are good which is your problem.

  • Why are you putting all the blame on guys? For the act of sex to occur, in the sense you're describing, it takes the effort and consent of BOTH people. Guys flirt and so do girls, it's what people do to make things interesting. But sometimes a sexual innuendo is just an innuendo, we all say them for laughs. For the act of sex to occur YOU would have to escalate the situation just as much as the guy. So YOU are just as much to blame. The question therefore shouldn't be "why can't you find a good guy?" but "why are you such a f***ing hypocritical slut?" Stupid slut.

    • She's also talking about guys cheating. How exactly is she a slut if her boyfriend cheats with ANOTHER girl? Seriously read questions better before you answer.

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    • I are male! Hear me roar!

    • ^-^ rolfahtapuss!!

  • Generally you can tell how good a guy REALLY is by the parents he has. If his parents have money and never had to go through hardships then most likely he is a snobbish douchebag hidden underneath a gold plated image. If he only had his mother and went through many hardships with her then he most likely will have more respect and be more caring for women. I am a good guy and more specifically a confident good guy. I have the bad boy appearance, but the good guy heart. I was beaten by my father through much of my child hood and spent much of the time I was gone from there caring for my crying and lonely mother. She like you was plagued with bad men in her life. Often times I sat there and was a crying shoulder for her and in the most extreme cases had to physically threaten out bad guys that would come around for her. It is from experiencing this that my mentality for treating girls and any children I may have one day is much nicer. I learned a great deal from those bad guys that came around for how they attracted my mother. They were hardly that attractive, but it was the manipulative tactics they used to fool her and confidence they had in themselves. Like occasionally bringing a surprise gift for her or doing something out of their way when the rest of the time they treated her like crap. So I do the same lol(in some aspects). When I ask a girl for her number I do it with confidence and flashy. A good example is when I asked for my second to last girlfriends number. She was in front of the school reading her textbook for European History and I stroll over and sit down right next to her. I start asking her what she is doing and then when she tells me I start reading the book next to her and pretend to fall asleep and snore real loud which makes her laugh. I then switch to looking for things we have in common and occasionally saying some funny things in between. Then when my ride came I plainly said, "I have to go, but you know I really like you and I'd like to have your number so we can talk some more" and she agreed and gave it to me. So we talked/texted for a couple days and then became boyfriend and girlfriend. That's really all it takes for most girls to be interested in you. You have to make yourself not come off as liking them solely for their looks, be charming/funny, flirt a little, build up something you guys have in common, and confidently ask for their number. Then after a couple days of you guys talking and flirting some more ask her out to some place(but don't tell her where! :D) and impress her even more to get her interested in you even more and at the end of the date if you guys have been having a good time sneak up a quick kiss on the lips. Good luck to you all!

  • Unfortunately, the majority of guys your age are still very immature and thus aren't interested in a serious relationship. It sounds like nearly all of the guys you know are complete jerks... but believe me when I say that there are some good guys out there -- it just may take awhile (and longer than it should really) to find them.

    P.S. Do you know many shy guys? They tend to be all-around better guys than most others, especially at your age.

  • I think the real question is "are there any girls out there who appreciate the good guys and actually give them the time of day?"

  • I'll raise my hand on this one.

    For guys the first thought that goes through our head is sex.

    However, not all guys dwell or make known those thoughts.

    Personally, I am a virgin, I have never cheated in any way, and my best friend (a girl) I have only let know about what I thought about her sexually a couple days ago and only because she asked.

    Not all guys are sex driven, keep searching.

  • Sorry to say that road rounds both ways honey, I was once a nice looking guy and women would flaunt all over. I then had a spinal injury in the millitary and was crippled, in those 2+ years I only had one girl notice me. I recently recovered and I'm back to before, such experience opens your eyes that society is all vanity based. Life is inherenlty a beatuy pageant I would say, the allure ofobeauty then drives sex from a psychological aspect. And I would agree with the best anaswer as someone whoes lived both sides and is also educated in psych. Women are just as shalloow as men, ans like best asnwer said women look for men in the wrong enviromnemts and there attracted to the wrong facets of interaction dynamics. So I would ask are there any good people out there?

  • let me tell you something missy lol the world has a balace to it...thir are equally as many good guys out their as ther are good girls...dont blame the gender, blame the person...or you culd go deeper and ask yourself why your onli attracting garbage...mayb ur looking for it..i dunno, I'm just saying.

    but wot I've noticed with gyals is that they talk a lot of bullsh*t about personality blah blah...gyals want the same things guys want a fit partner with not 2 many bad traits...girls just tend to be relly bad judges of what they can control.

  • Yes, there are guys out there but they are the ones you probably don't normally hang out with. I'm picky on girls because where I am it is both ways to the extreme, guys after girls for sex and girls after guys for sex. So I won't even bother with a girl unless I know for a fact she can prove that she is in the relationship to be with me, not just to get laid

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What Girls Said 19

  • We only see what we are looking for. The more convinced we are that there are only guys out there cheating and looking for sex, that is what we will see. Change your mindset and you will start seeing the good guys that have been right under your nose the whole time.

    • That is really good advice!

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    • This is one of the better answers. I think when girls meet a guy they find physically attractive and emotionally stimulating they just swoon and think he's the best guy ever. They get too enthusiastic too quickly and get caught up in the excitement of finding someone new. Then they are surprised when a guy they basically just have a fling with dumps them or cheats on them; when they never truly knew what the guy was like; realistically they usually never establish a real bond, just a fling.

    • Very true. Girls do jump into "love" way too quickly. They are already imagining what you will be like as a boyfriend when they really have no way of knowing, it's just all in our imaginations.

  • yeah I have gotten into that phase as well where I doubt or find it rare to find a decent guy who has at least the basics- a good personality, a heart and some intelligence.

  • the key is friendly, and that seems to be your problem. if you're friendly all the time, then you're just looking for men who will take advantage of you. honesty is the key. if you could read their minds and move past the "easy target" then having a challenge could get you a great guy at bay.

    eg. say that there a hot guy who's interested. and you've got him all attracted and stuff and he's got all the signs of sex, sex, sex... at that time, try:

    "I can't be with you, you're not what I'm looking for. (walks away)"

    he asks, "why?"

    you answer, "you not looking for a girlfriend. you're looking for a piece of ass and frankly, I have better things to do (list your activities here), than to waste my time on sex."

    by then, you're gonna find out if this guy wants sex or if he's a good guy. but given that he's gonna try to impress you (signs of potential good guy), make him work for it to get you. try negotiation.

    by now, using the good of your judgement, you can decide if you wanna stay with this guy or not.

  • There are good guys, bad guys, good guys who are now bad guys, bad guys who became good, guys who are in between depending on the colour scheme, guys who are broken, guys who are strong, guys who are a subtle combination of a complicated thinking, guys who cry, guys who cook, guys who like video games at 50, guys who paint, there are all kinds of guys and they are all different and they all have things in common in varying degrees.

    There's just one kind of guy that don't exist: a perfect one.

    Guys change, girls change and people change all the time as well. You have a great big open heart and he will find you.

    Cheating is awful, hurtful etc...but its always going to be possible and I think that it shouldn't ever become a fear. Because when that factor is taken out of the equation you can have a more trusting and quality relationship with someone.

    There are never gonna be any guarantees. Ever!

  • Hi there,

    Hm,say I have been knowing heaps of guys and I am losing faith in them.

    Guys always attract to girls but some or most of them are interested in sex and a dude I knew was about to get married right and he cheated on her but she didn't know and his guys covered for him for 5-6 years.

    I was told I hooked up with one of the guy in the group but I didn't but well, the dude didn't trust me but his guys. Guys have the things for their mates and it is hard to digest and if we say sh7t about their friends, they get angry but if they tell us how bad their friends are, that's OK.

    I got sh7t for what I didn't do and I was told to be deluded and guys even let a cheater to tell him I was a liar!

    You should keep going out and making friends but before you try to talk to anyone, make sure their friends aare good. Nice people might end up being in a retarded groups of gangster wanna be or dikhead or cheaters and if these people see some potential in you, changing their mate or watever risk, they will get bk on you the sh7ttest way. No offense to any nice guys here but I have seen enough guys to groups cheating is a fab for guys and guy like my best friend is somehow taken or dead !

  • There are a lot of good guys out there. You might be chosing the wrong guy friends, in terms of examples of a typical guy. You are definitely choosing the wrong guys. They will give you signs early on that they are cheaters/untrustworthy.You are missing or overlooking the clues. Keep your eyes open and have a trusted friend help you assess guys you start dating. You might find the good ones boring because they are consistent. You don't have to chase them. They are less charming and more down to earth. Some girls find those qualities boring.

  • a males brain is tunes to think about sex over feelings.., just like we are ment to do opposite..

    male and female.. are opposites.. you have to work ur way around that.

    ur obviously going in for the wrong approach.

    u can't change a man, ull only hurt ur self trying

    guys need a girl to sleep with..

    but if you show him that ur not that easy, and he keeps trying.. that's where you can catch him..

    the longer you keep it in ur pants and he sticks around the better.

    guys all think of sex first. give them something else to think about.

    show him ur great personality, ur fun and wild side and share his interests..

    show him uu have respect for yourself and he will respect you.

    there are good guys out there, and I know by experience how hard they are to find

    but you will find one eventually..

    think of the bad guys as expereince, you now know what NOT to look for!

  • HI,

    Well I'm going out with the perfect guy, He's sweet, kind, thoughful and loving, There is a perfect guy out there for you defenetly I've found mine so go find yours. :D

    BY L

  • well I think if you give life patince it will all come to you and maybe that guy will come even sooner than you expect... you just have to be pactint

  • My case is quite the opposite I had the guy who doted with anything with boobs and legs ha ha or rather I should say have. I hink that if you put up a front of being too open some Guys will want to take advantage of your over friendliness. Sometimes being picky and saying what you want up front won't decieve a guy into thinking you're someone who'll just give it up with no regrets or hesitation

  • I have to say that many guys are searching for something to make then feel fullfilled and I have learned many times never ever put all your eggs into one basket. Maybe one of the reasons guys go to you is because they think you may be easy.. The harder you are to get the more interested guys get. Most guys like the hard one cas its a challenge and that's not all guys but good luck finding one that isn't this way.

  • well trust me there's good guys out there you're just picking the dumb

    ones. some guys cheat but look deeper and you will find that guy that you want that don't want just sex and who will treat you with respect and who wouldn't cheat on you you are pretty you shouldnt have to look let the boys come to you and just be careful

  • It took my 8 years to find a good guy, but I lost him... But there are good guy's out there. Not many, but there is. It just might take awhile to get him. But trust me they are out there.

  • I have had both a fake good guy, and an actual good guy. You know it when you meet him. it was just too bad his heart was still bruised.

  • i agree with what you say what guys out there are like in the fairy tales?

  • Oh...I only read the title, and my answer is yes, but they're SUCH chickens!


    But I guess you can't expect everything, so you get a bad guy, or you just never get the good one. It's sad really...

    [this is just my experience]

  • most guys are assholes! people can give all the politically correct answers they want but its not reality. you might have a few good guys that are few and far between but the vast majority of guys under 25-30 ain't about sh*t. girls are taught and conditioned to find a guy and fall in love...that is not what most guys are taught and conditioned to do. young guys are mainly sowing their wild oats and having fun. so basically they don't really give a f*** about girls all they are about is having sex with as many girls as possible. if you get hurt oh well, that's not their problem. so basically what you should do is put a wall up, trust very little and be super observant. don't give your heart or trust easily. make him work for it and prove he's not like all the other guys. don't have sex early on...guys who are looking for sex will run the other way and guys who just wanna f*** will leave you alone when they see that ur serious and not easily convinced. don't believe every little thing they say, 90% of the time its a lie to get what they want. be friendly but cautious and don't trust easily.

    • I'm glad you didn't say all. I can honestly say that I'm not that way, but from my observations, I agree that a lot of guys are like that.

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    • I don't even know why I got 3 Thumbs Down, the guys who answered this question and even guys who refuted my statements still ended up proving my point. oh btw, all the women I know who eventually got married and have SUCCESSFUL long term relationships all followed by this practice. and guess what even though they were cautious of guys that came into their life they still found one who wanted to commit to them for life! so yeah, I'm right

    • Then go be a lesbian. That's not true men fall in love all the time and sacrifice everything for a woman. And plenty are good hearted. And plenty of women will go out with a guy and "trade up" when someone they think is better comes along, and plenty of women like to play mind games with guys. I have seen girls in the high school/college years that manage to string a whole harem of guys along. Lots of women are experts at getting guys to spend money on them.

  • A lot of guys here responded saying they're nice, nerdy, respectful and all. I've fallen for them, but they leave me and then go for the ugly slut. So in a sense, while girls go for the jerk, nice guys go for the bitch. Nobody wins. Lol

    • Couldnt have said it better myself...and sometimes once you date a "nerd" they get a huge ego or too much self confidence and leave you for another girl. =[

    • True...or the second they receive attention from "someone better" they leave

  • *are