Gave guy my phone number and he never texted me- should I unmatch now?

[moonchild1994]

This guy on tinder messaged me. I wasn't that interested so I messaged and then stopped. He messaged me again the next day and I decided to talk to him. We messaged for 3 days. He states he's coming back to my city in 2 more weeks. We talked about meeting up to eat food. I asked him if he's going to continue messaging me on this app. He asks for my number. Gave it to him last night and he hasn't texted me all day today. I don't know if he's interested or not. I can't tell with guys these days. I try not to hold expectations so I need to know if I should wait it out for the day or hurry and unmatch him because my number is just sitting there. He's an older guy. 27 and I'm 21. I don't know if he's married or has a girlfriend and I HOPE not because I would cut him off completely. What should I do?

Wait it out

Unmatch him- don't waste your time

[Fritz81]

I can't believe people are saying not to waste your time!! It has been not even ONE day! Calm down! I would give him a week! You just met on an app and haven't even met in person or went out once. You just gave him your number ONE day ago and you want to unmatch him because he hasn't texted yet? He has a life and did not jump when you gave him your number, that is a good thing. I would not want a guy that is that eager, he would come across as desperate. If this is indicative of how you act when dating, I would recommend playing it cool and taking your time with all of it. Guys will get scared off if you want so much so soon.

[moonchild1994]

I agree with your statement but one part I don't. I agree with being patient and takings things slow. I have to learn that. But I met one guy on an online dating site before. I used to always wait on his texts. He wouldn't text me for days or a week at a time. When he reached out he wanted to FaceTime and text long paragraphs. We talked for a month and finally met (I went to him). Hung out for two days and he told me he liked me after and wanted to get to know me. I took that as an indication of taking a step and he was serious. Well. Couple days after he disappeared on me. Told me he would be busy and didn't talk to me for 3-4 days until I confronted him. He made it seem like I was irrational and assuming but I don't believe someone is that "busy" if they like someone. 3-7 days makes you feel insecure. Because of that specific situation, now going forward I'm anxious with other guys that "take their time". I don't like to waste my time at all.

[Fritz81]

If you have only gone out a couple times so he was not that "serious:, he said he wanted to get to know you after not date you. You still just met him and only went out twice, texting every few days or a couple days a week in between dates is totally acceptable at first. It sounded like he was legitimately busy and he told you that he would be beforehand so you knew. For the first month or two of dating, and it depends on the person, but talking a couple days a week is totally acceptable. Trust me, it is a girl thing to want it all off the bat, I do too, but things have worked out best if I force myself to move slow and go with the flow at the beginning.

[moonchild1994]

Not if you live in a different city? I would imagine the communication would be a little bit more than texting 1 time a week with 1 text a day. Not even a few text exchange. That is an indication that something went wrong. Yes, I could've been more patient. I definitely need to learn that and take things slow. There was still something off about everything. If a guy is busy AND works at home/has his own business I do not believe that they're busy for 4 days and can't even text a "been busy- hope everything's okay". If you out in that much effort a month before meeting and hung out twice with no sex I think that's an indication that you want to take things to the next step And be serious. I'm busy but if I genuinely like someone, I make time for them at all cost. He used to do the same thing for me but after meeting in person he stopped. I stood up for myself and refuse to be treated as such. He was leading me on and I stood up for myself.

[Fritz81]

Long distance off the bat? Most likely wouldn't work anyways. It seems like he is the type to not like to text, you said he wrote long messages or face time. I have met people that prefer talking vs texting. My mom works from home right now and she works a lot of 12 hour days, non stop without getting a break. Working from home does not necessarily mean they aren't busy. It does sound like he may have lost interest. That is the thing with online dating, you can talk and get along great and like each other, but until you meet in person you don't know how someone holds themselves and acts in person or there is no chemistry at all. It seems that may have happened there and he was being nice afterwards, I try meeting immediately due to this. Anyways, I get trying to find out immediately if they aren't interested and want to disappear before they disappear. Also, I do agree that when seeing each other for at least a month or two, consistent texts make me feel better too.

[Fritz81]

But, in this latest one where you have only been messaging so far, relax. It is brand new and communicating every day is not necessary yet. Texting a lot or every day is very "dating"-like. I was seeing a guy for a couple months but he worked by me and we saw each other three days a week right away. We never texted and I was pretty okay with that since we saw each other so much as it was and texting on top of that would have made it feel like we were already in a relationship or something. It definitely would have added a whole new dynamic. I was okay with it at first but it ended up bothering me. So I get it. But I also played it pretty cool and allowed it to move slow and have no expectations, and although it didn't work out I have no regrets and feel I held myself very good because of that.

[moonchild1994]

Thanks! Now that I look back though, I think I was the one being too nice. I always try to talk and be friends with the guy even though we won't work. With this guy, he was insanely handsome so I overlooked and looked past his lifestyle. He wasn't the best match... his line of work wasn't "safe", I didn't feel safe. He smoked and drinked a lot... and almost got us into an accident while running a stop sign. High while driving, speeding. I overlooked that. When we hung out though, he was giddy and smiling a lot. (High) I was actually the one being more quiet and reserved. I think my mind was blank the whole time and scared... trying to block everything I was seeing because he was just goodlooking. He wanted to hangout in my hotel and took me to his house. We didn't do anything, but I think he wanted to do that and I showed no interest at all. He wanted to watch a movie before I left, but I said I had to leave. He asked to see my body tattoos as well.

[moonchild1994]

The face that we got pulled over by the cops and he had weed wasn't the best either. Apparently he states he gets pulled over a lot. So as you can see, he was a street kid. He referred to himself like that the whole time with me. I overlooked that... I try to find the best in people despite that. So maybe I hurt myself. He even had his exes stuff in his home and car still and I asked him. Yeah, the long distance wasn't going to work off the back. But because I shared deep emotional things with this guy, I felt instantly connected with him. That's how he sucked me in. I'm a sucker for emotional connections. I still have a strong gut feeling he was playing me though. I just know. But you're right! New people, new lessons. I won't focus on text. I will meet them asap, and I will take things SLOW and hold no expectations.

[Fritz81]

It also sounds like you got burned and played in the past so you are overprotecting yourself. I do that too. When I start liking someone I try to find reasons to cut it off or meet someone else so I have a backup plan. I want to cut it off before they do, I always feel like when I am hanging out with someone it is just a matter of time before they disappear or disappoint me and hurt me some how. And I am single right now so every one has actually done that to this point. But, I am becoming more open and more go with the flow with things. The last guy ended up disappearing on me, but I still regretted nothing and know I did nothing wrong and I will continue trying to take things one day at a time.

[Cool4ever5]

Wait. i mean, its only been one day and this day is not even over yet lol Be patient. He may not want to come off desperate by texting so soon or he is purposely waiting a fee days til he does or he just hasn't come around to it. So dont worry about it. You just gave it to him. he does not have to reach you right away. He barely knows you but if he is really interested, he will text. Give it 2 more days. Now a week, i can see you asking this question but way too early to be assuming anything.

So whats makin you kind of interested?

[moonchild1994]

I don't know. Lol. He "seems" nice and genuine. Because he's in the next state over and he's making the initiative to come out again? But I don't believe anything until it comes into fruitation really.

[Cool4ever5]

Girl, just be patient. he may may hit up until late tonight or tomorrow night. Its too soon. Not all guys call right way or the next day

[kat_gran]

Well it's only a day, sometimes people don't check out the aapps for days... Myself included.. Just leave it there, if the guy hasn't responded to you in a week or by the time he is back in your city, you can unmatch him.. but you can also send him a message and aask him for his, you know? You dont haave to sit there and wait for him to text you first. Take some initiative.

If after a week, he still doesn't respond to you, feeel free to delete him.

[Paris13]

"A" for Absolutely Or...
Just go ahead, @mooonchild1994, And Text him First.
He may Want to see if you are "For Real," and in order to Get the Ball Rolling so No Current Sour balls in your Mouth, Make the First Move.
Don't be Hasty.. This just might be Tasty.
Good luck. xx

[Paris13]

@moonchild1994

[Nomad69]

He doesn't want to look desperate or to smother you or he's nervous. Wait a day or two then move on. Nobody said you can't talk or date others you're not exclusive with him. He might just be looking for sex since your young and probably don't have kids like everyone else his age

[Nothanks700]

It's only been a day, that's hardly much time. Is unmatch him if you want after a week or so. Just because he's 27 doesn't mean he's married.

[Amanda2]

It really is not that serious, you did not develop anything beyond the intial conversation. Count your blessings and move on, a guy who is interested will show interest.

[Amanda2]

Thank you

[Smmyskittles]

Gave him your number *last night*. I voted before reading the whole thing. My bad.

Give him the benefit of the doubt. 2 days.

If he texts you after that, I'd read the message and then delete it. Don't even bother saving his number.

[mikimouse13]

He might just be busy today. I'd wait at most 3 days... if he doesn't text tomorrow, message him on tinder, just to say hi. If he doesn't respond, I'd just move on. Hope it works out :)

[BertMacklinFBI]

he's probably playing it cool.

give it like another day or two.

[sweettckae]

some guys have this dumb rule where they don't call a girl for two days or something. I mean it's tinder, you can't really expect much from tinder.. it's a bunch of guys playing with girls' emotions.

[Izzex3]

Wow, lol.
It's only been a day. You JUST gave it to him last night.
Unmatch if you want.
Sounds a bit childish to me though.

[moonchild1994]

How is unmatching childish though?
It's just an app right? Childish is messaging them and asking why aren't you texting me. I don't do childish games, I just don't like my time to be wasted. :) If it's been over 12 hours then I feel they aren't interested. Simple as that.

[anshin]

This is what i dont understand with women. There's no need to rush on things. The ball is in his court so just get on and continue swiping.

[nikki_24]

I voted wait it out. Maybe he is actually busy today or he's playing it cool. Give it till tomorrow at least.

[JohnDoe3000]

Wait another day. It's not a waste of your time because you can still talk to other guys in the meantime.

[Prof_Don]

3 days is nothing, wait it out. But... keep continuing to pursue other guys. Don't act like your committed to a guy when you're not.

[April10]

Just leave it and move on to someone else. Definitely don't wait around for hin

[Anonymous]

Oh my goodness, one *whole* day?

... are you kidding me? ( -_-)

That's all it takes for you to abort mission? You could at least try saying something on Tinder.

[06CuriousMind]

wait it out lol youve got nothing to lose. maybe he got busy

[Anonymous]

That's why I don't give out my numbers online. If they want to talk to me, they can do so through inbox messages.

[moonchild1994]

Yeah I'm not going to give out my number anymore. Not worth it.

[clampfan101]

3 days doesn't sound like that much compared to what I usually hear about. Give him a week, perhaps.

[zombiebabe]

quit wasting your time

[carlitoswayy]

really? 1 day?

[Anonymous]

Don't waste your time...

[carlitoswayy]

soo intense.. gawd