Why I am not girlfriend material?

[Anonymous]

Usually when and what makes them realize that a girl is not girlfriend material?

I had 3 dates with a guy that i really liked and after the 3 date he suggested me to be friends with benefits and of course i declined because as much as i like him i will not settle down for less.

Sooo. What are the things that makes the difference about girlfriend or sex buddy?

[Datboi]

Part of me thinks that it may just be the guys you are dating. The fact that he even asks if you want to be fuck buddies is just sad (cause you obviously don't seem to just want that, And i think its absurd too to just want sex with someone. Those people only deserve to go jerk off at home in the corner) You probably are "girlfriend material" I dont see why you wouldn't be. I'm assuming you are pretty and also have a nice mind (funny, honest, respectful, mature etc any of those good characteristics). Just find a guy that wants a relationship and not just Fukin sex and then you will be some guys girlfriend!!! Yaaaaaa 😝 Best of luck friend 😎

[Barrabus_the_Free]

I love how everything is always the man's fault. Fuck this society...

Without knowing you, I can't say. Maybe you're picking the wrong guys (based on your age, this is likely. You're still riding thugs, criminals, jocks, etc), maybe there's something about you that guys just don't want to give ANY kind of commitment to. I don't know.

What do YOU think might be causing guys to consider you to not be girlfriend material?

[Checkers82]

I think what she was kind of asking is what makes you decide, when dating, that a girl isn't dating material. Not exactly blaming men or anything. Just asking for opinions.

[Asker]

@Checkers82 exactly

[Barrabus_the_Free]

@Checkers82

SHE might not have been blaming men outright, but a bunch of the other responses were.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there's anything wrong with you. And you did the right thing by not accepting.

I think sadly that more and more men are seeing if they can get away with it, because so many of them do it, that girls eventually get tired of trying to find a decent man and give in.

That is probably just what he does after date 3 with all girls.

[Darkfairie17]

I'm sorry that he only wanted a friends with benefits thing with you. It's good that you declined though. Some people think that after the sex, he will change his mind eventually. You made the right choice.

I think it might just take time. You are someone's idea of the perfect girlfriend material :)

[Darkfairie17]

Thanks!

[Blonde401]

I want to say it's the guys and not you but I've been dealing with something similar in the last 2 years. Nobody thinks I'm girlfriend material so maybe some us aren't, the same as some guys aren't boyfriend material.

[JohnDoe3000]

While your personality may play a role I think it's more likely/a bigger factor that you're falling for a specific type of guy that doesn't want to date you (or most other other girls probably). A guy who will just flat out ask you if you want to be friends with benefits probably comes across as very confident. As usual the guy's confidence stems from not caring (he only wants you to be his friends with benefits, if you say no his feelings won't be hurt and he'll just ask another girl), but that's a harsh lesson every girl/woman has to learn at some point.

[Blonde401]

@JohnDoe3000 there isn't a specific type of guy (or girl) I've been going for. I've dated a wide range of people from different backgrounds with different personalities. Also the 'not girlfriend material' thing has been said by other people who know me but don't want to date me. So it's everyone saying this, not just one specific type of guy.

[Blonde401]

@JohnDoe3000 and I've never been asked to be someone's friends with benefits. I get dated for months and months and then they change their mind. So yeah, there's something wrong with me.

[JohnDoe3000]

If you get dumped after "months and months" how do you distinguish that from "normal" people who often go through relationships that don't last years? If your friends tell you you're not relationship material you need to ask them why specifically: they can't just say that and then not explain it, that's just messing up your self-esteem.

What I meant with a specific type of guy is that they have something crucial in common, while they can be very different in other aspects. I doubt you're so dysfunctional every type of guy will consider you not "girlfriend material", and if you were you'd probably know exactly what it was.

[Blonde401]

@JohnDoe3000 to be honest I'm sick of asking what's wrong with me. I've been told so many different things that just surmount to 'you're not good enough, you're not pretty enough, you're someone to be ashamed of'. And that's fine, I am done with dating. There isn't someone for everyone, not everyone is meant to be happy and have healthy relationships. The world isn't a wonderful place where everyone gets what they want. And I don't want to ask anymore what's wrong with me, I've just stopped being sociable and I've stopped trying to date. I'm sure I am dysfunctional but I'm not a horrible person. People just stop speaking to me, or they dump me or they say 'you thought we were dating? No, you're just someone to use for sex'. So yeah, whatever, it's fine, it really doesn't matter anymore.

[Jacy_Erro]

Jeez... well to me he sounds like an asshat, I don't know if I'd ever have the balls to suggest just being sex buddies. Dick move.

The biggest difference between being girlfriend material vs sex buddy? it's out of your hands regardless of what you do its up to the other party and what they want. Be yourself. Don't change just to get a relationship. Someone will want to date you because your you. I know that sounds like cliche bullshit but it's the truth, and that relationship will be genuine.

[ImDeadpoolBaby]

Don't worry. Some of us are neither boyfriend material or fuck buddy material. Some of us will be lone fucks, life is a interesting thing with variety of twists. One's personality can pretty much define if they are girlfriend or fb material.

[Nw5394]

I don't think it's a difference in the girl, I think a guy who is immature and afraid of commitment will try to get a potential girlfriend to settle and use her for sex.

[JohnDoe3000]

At your age it's entirely possible he just wanted a friends with benefits and would have asked the same from any girl he met. Maybe try going out with other types of guys?

[Anonymous]

This guy just likes a different kind of personality then yours. Everyone likes different personalities. I don't know you, him or the situation but it's not until multiple guys told you this, you should not worry about it. Some people like strawberry ice cream and some like chocolate ice cream.

[Anonymous]

I feel like most guys I meet do not want to put into the effort to date me and I do not have casual sex so it's annoying when guys i like are not willing to give me the girlfriend title but only want sex because if a girl they liked did the same thing to them they would whine and claim they were friend zoned

I just move on and cut guys off who only ask for sex

[SnatchFinderGeneral]

Feminists have basically ruined it for you. You're basically going to be a megaslut jumping from cock to cock until you are alone, or you're going to waste years dating people who you don't really like and only want to fuck you until you lower your standards.

Shit deal huh?

[Panay]

His lack of commitment or not being sure if his feelings towards you
He wand to be friends and he wants to fuck you
That means he finds you attractive and likes you as s person, but is afraid of leaving the freedom of being single

[Entruder]

It's not you, it's him. I'll give him props though for making his intentions clear. At least he wasn't trying to manipulate you.

[ConsultantIsBack]

Being really his type or not, being mature and responsible, ambition, having your shit together, not flakey/plays games, etc.

[akadatank44]

This is more a him problem than anything. He doesn't want a relationship

[Marinepilot]

For whatever reason you're meeting the wrong guys. Just keep doing what you're doing and the right guy will turn up.

[Intraluminal]

The guy. Not the girl.

[mariposa16]

is the guy fault not yours

[NerdInDenial]

It depends on the guy

[Hearteater]

I think it is about just your style.

[SlightlyCrazy]

I doubt it's you
I think you need better guys