My boyfriend told me to dress up classy but it's not my style... What should I do?

Question

My style is alternative and more dark, I could say. And my boyfriend absolutely hates it... Yesterday we went out and I was wearing a dress and a suit alongside my heels. Should I dress up to please him? I'm in love with him and I can't loose him again...

yoshi_wanna_ask · Accepted Answer

These days with Pinterest and Instagram it can be really easy to put together outfits that look great but are still comfortable. There's idea for pretty much every style. A lot of people are going to be saying "who does he think he is? He has to like all of you or hit the road!" and, while there's some truth in that, the thing is *you're* the one wearing the clothes but he should appreciate *you* more than what you wear.

I understand what you're saying about really wanting to be with him, you sort of get to a stage of numb obsession with someone you need to chase all the time. I'm not saying 'break up with him' but, I am saying, think about it. If you're this far into the relationship, having known each other for as long as you have, do you think you should be terrified about losing him over an outfit? Is this way you want to be feeling? *You're* in this relationship too, it's not just him. It's supposed to be about learning to share who you are with someone you care about. It's terrifying and heartbreaking to think about not being with that special someone, but sometimes, it's the best thing. Because it's not til later where we can stand back and think "Wow, this person was so wrong for me!"

Whatever you decide, (as long as they're not too... skimpy) remember, you wear the clothes for you and it *is* okay to not be a dress/heels wearing girl.

ebbyeb · Accepted Answer

If you truly hate it and it's not you, your boyfriend should understand and respect that! There's nothing wrong with going out of your way to make him happy once in a while! Do you should try it at least once! But if he seems insistent on trying to have you dress nicely, you should be firm and tell him that you're not a dress up doll and you have your own opinions and preferences. If he can't understand or respect that, then he's probably not the one for you... But I think you should at least dress nice once, especially if it's out for dinner, because it's only polite and pleasing him a couple times isn't the end of the world. It shows your appreciation and respect and acknowledgement of his preferences.

Madds1544 · Accepted Answer

Don't change ur style for him ur fashion/style is part of who u r and if he doesn't get that u need to explain it to him and stand up for urself he should love all parts about u and accept u for u no matter what even ur style so don't change and alternative and dark style can b classy it's all about how u do it I mean I would get if u we're going out to eat at a fancy place u could do ur style but dress it up more like a dark lace dress with lace see through tights and heels but for everyday u do what u want u have to wear what u love and feel confident

depeche2015 · Accepted Answer

No he can't just change you like that. Your clothes, your style, your creativity is what makes YOU. If he doesn't like the way you dress you should tell him that you like dressing that way and that's your style. If he doesn't care what you say then I'd probably break up with him cause sounds like he's trying to change you into something else. Would he be upset if you told him to dress like you and that you didn't like classy guys? I bet your style is awesome. Don't listen to him and keep wearing what you love and want!

Telekinetic-Potato · Accepted Answer

Well is it for a special occasion of some kind?

Other than that you should leave him. Contrary to what everyone will tell you, the way you dress IS a reflection on who you are and if you aren't even comparable enough to feel comfortable standing next to the other, thats a big problem.

If you really care about him, then try to dress a little like how he would want SOMETIMES not all the time. I know this is a terrible thing to some people and somehow means your settling but normal people call it compromise and get this, a relationship can't work with out a lot of it.

But seriously, what's wrong with maybe trying to reinvent your style? You don't have to abandon the one you have but maybe try to see if you can do something that he would be a little more comfortable with.

LethalTactics · Accepted Answer

To be honest do what makes YOU happy. If your style is dark then wear dark. That pretty much sounds to me like he's controlling you in a way. Your partner should love you for you and yes also for the way you dress. Now there are exceptions to this. Your boyfriend obviously wouldn't want you going out in slutty clothes but in this case I see nothing wrong with you wearing what you like. If he breaks up with you just for that he is a waste of time. I don't know any guy that would break up with his girlfriend because, she was wearing dark clothes. Be you because all in all that's what makes you unique. Don't let him tell you what you can and can't wear bottom line.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

Can't lose him again? Would you please explain that comment?

GingerGuy · Answer

Why can't you loose him again? Seriously? You sound like complete opposites and you'll likely always be fighting or disagreeing about something. If you've already separated before, then it will probably happen again. Don't be sad about it though, you two just aren't right for each other that's all. You need to be with someone that will let you be YOU, not who they want you to be or you'll never be happy, not truly happy.

madhatters4 · Answer

he should like you for you. if you dress a certain way and he was attracted to you then he shouldn't look to try and change you and mold you into something else

and you shouldn't want to be with someone who is going to try and force you to change who you are, especially if there is nothing wrong with who you are

ginny_weasley · Answer

You should date someone who likes you for you. But here is a dress that is a compromise. By the way, anyone that can't handle all black outfits are weak so you're not doing anything wrong. I love all things Gothic.
https://picture-cdn.wheretoget.it/qo8xsv-i.jpg

Streamhopper · Answer

You have a choice. You can be true to him, or true to you. There isn't a middle ground here. Your style is yours and yours alone. Personally, I like that style, but that's me, and not the focus here. You need to find either a middle ground where you're both happy or move on. Sorry if that seems harsh.

Sara413 · Answer

He hates your style? Seems strange... if he likes you he should like how you dress. If not, then I'd question if he actually likes you. And especially if he is asking or telling you to dress differently. You should wear what makes you comfortable. Myself, I am very casual and don't wear make up very often or dress up a whole lot. I like to once in a while but not most of the time. No way I could be with someone who wanted to me doll up regularly.

KatherineWilliams · Answer

You should wear what ever makes you feel good about yourself. I mean, we've all happend to wear a specific piece of clothing we know our partner likes, it's not bad. But we should never wear smth we don't like or feel comfortable with. Just tell him it bugs you that he tells you to not be yourself. If he keeps pressuring you he is not good enough for you.

Jubejube · Answer

You could compromise and go with something dark and classy. Maybe something like this?  If not post a pic of something you would wear so I have an idea of what you would like.

Darkfairie17 · Answer

WTH? You're boyfriend should be with you because he loves you and shouldn't be nit picking your style. I'm sorry but I couldn't be with a guy who wouldn't tolerate my style. I don't think there's anything wrong with what you were wearing. Has he been breaking up with you due to how you dress?

Don't change yourself for anyone. It's not worth it!

MissDyno · Answer

Your style is a part of you. If he can't see past that, I don't think you guys are too compatible to stay together. Unless its just a one time thing where he wants you to dress up classy for like a special occassion, then I don't see the big deal in doing that. However, if its an always thing, thats not a good sign.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you should dress on how you like. Lets be honest here. I like to dress in an alternative way and i barely wear dresses or skirts but i do wear tights or leggings too but the people around me (except my friends) tells me i need to act more like a girls which I don't know why they thought colour applies to your gender :/ . Yet i still dress the same way. You shouldn't dress to please anyone tho. If he really doesn't like it, you should confront to him to try to accept you for who you are :)

Touchmehxx · Answer

This is something I hate
If a guy takes me out he'd say what u gonna wear maybe and I'd say hm not sure and he'd be like well why don't u wear a dress I'd say I don't wear dresses and he's say but why not, just make the effort

I can still make an effort without wearing a dress. He's not wearing a dress, doesn't mean he's not making an effort

People who try to change me are cancer

Avoid

Saoirse_Nua · Answer

I would say stick to your own style and explain to your boyfriend how you feel - If he cares about you he should be okay with it - Maybe explore a compromise, dress a different style the odd day or something.

Dannii · Answer

How about this. You make him compromise. Ask him to wear what you like, and in turn, you'll wear what he likes. If he can't stand it, neither should you give in to him. If he can't accept you for who you are, then it's not worth it, isn't it?

lostgirl_searching · Answer

If he loves loves you he should accept you for who are, I don't believe in changing for someone but if you want to, go right ahead. But try and see if you don't feel like yourself just tell him.

SarahsSummer · Answer

You should want to be with someone who likes you for you. Not for what he thinks he can change you into. if he hates your look. Why are you two together?

BaileyisDarcy · Answer

You're 17 and if you've already lost him once then you are obviously not going to last. Do whatever you want, while you can. Don't let him hold you back.

woefulfairies · Answer

the fact that you say "lose him again", it makes me feel like you guys aren't really compatible. dump his ass and find someone who likes you who you are.

Theodorable · Answer

Yes, dress nice to please him. It's the least you can do to make him happy. If he was grungy, he should dress up nice to please you. These are called "The Little Things" that matter.

wankiam · Answer

you may love him but its obvious he doesn't feel the same so hard as it is you need to find someone who wants you as you are

abc3643 · Answer

Show us a picture of your style - like how you dress... Every style can be updated slightly making it more feminine and attractive.

BellaM · Answer

Be yourself. If he loves you, he will never go away. Maybe you can dress for him when you want to reward him in rarely occasion. Doing this is very attractive.

bang678 · Answer

You can still be classy and incorporate your own look. If dark is what you're going for, nothing is more. classy than a little black dress.

Luci92 · Answer

If you love him, then you make some sacrifices for him. Either that or you're not meant to be together.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

You two apparently are just not compatible. Why sacrifice your likes for someone who can't appreciat what you like?

Maik567 · Answer

I think you should do that for him on occasion. Not 24/7.

jurgenmeister · Answer

Look, I do get that you love him and you want to do it for him, but if it's something you really don't like it's going to get old soon and you'll regret it, so again if you really don't like that style, don't do it...

soccerchick4eva · Answer

Take his opinions in and maybe try it, but in the end do what makes you happy, you both needa talk about it together tho

scuff1986 · Answer

tbh he should love you no matter what you wear, maybe on occasions dress slightly different for him but never change who you are

Righttobeararms83 · Answer

I wish my wife would dress less Christian showing more clevage and leg but that doesn't mean its going to happen, she wouldn't let anyone dictate how she dresses and nor should you.

Anonymous · Answer

Well I think you should if you go to special place together. But for everyday routine You need to wear clothes which are comfortable personally for you (:

Anonymous · Answer

It really comes down to what's more important to you, being yourself or being with him. I wouldn't want to be with someone who isn't comfortable with my style or preferences, personally.

NatashaJ · Answer

Why the hell are you wearing a suit and a dress? that makes no sense.

annieee · Answer

dont overthink too much. be who you are or else it might get worst later down the road.

MrAssHat · Answer

huh dress and a pair of Chuck Taylor would be baller as hell

blutwolfe · Answer

if your boyfriend can't accept you for who you are, why are you together? Down the road its gonna run into complications

kingarthas · Answer

Grab him by the... oh wait.. well. If you really don't want it speak with him about how you feel. I believe he will understand.

Yanoa_Yanza · Answer

I'd ask the same of you if it was for some special event. But for your everyday clothing, just be you :)

Anonymous · Answer

No dude never change to please anyone much less your boyfriend who should love and accept you for who you are

8RizD · Answer

Bend him over and put a long schlong Johnson in there.

LivingLife94 · Answer

He sounds like a control freak, just keep wearing what you like to wear

COCOCHANEL · Answer

try to find the joy in being feminine. it's a wonderful thing.

Loveherbut · Answer

Why did u lose in the firat time U can't change urself for anyone he is an asshole

Anonymous · Answer

He wants to change how you dress every day or how you dress when you go out somewhere?

GoldCobra · Answer

Dress up the way you want to dress up. He won't like it but that's okay.

Anonymous · Answer

Is there any sort of way you could meet him like, half way?

bigkitty · Answer

So just do it so he will get hot and do u good.

Jesenia · Answer

Be a shadow of him, by his side, then

candi12 · Answer

Go with what works for u

OrangeBoy · Answer

No no no, keep your individuality girl.

skeptic002 · Answer

you will change on your own slowly

WhaChaChaKing · Answer

Dress however you want.

mOLii · Answer

why not. you can do it :P get enjoy...

Mesonfielde · Answer

Dark can be classy?

UhNoThnx · Answer

You should dump his ass.

Anonymous · Answer

Just do it for once for him.

blondfrog · Answer

Its up you you

Asirus · Answer

Just DOO IT

My boyfriend told me to dress up classy but it's not my style... What should I do?

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