My boyfriend doesn't like my fashion style and says the way I dress is affecting our relationship?

[Anonymous]

I'll admit my style isn't something you'd find in the average store. I like dark, vampy/ Victorian gothic/Lolita style clothing and shoes
he tried to explain what he thinks would look good on me - and its tumblr girly clothing
I texted him, the way I put myself together makes me feel confident but all he does is bring me down
He makes nasty comments to me to try and make me "change myself" its really upsetting me
i really love my boyfriend we have had the best memories together :(
I don't know what to do :(

[dogbert444]

You sound one very exciting lady!! I feel that you have a lot in common with another lady that used to be here. She has the most incredible style I've ever seen! You sound like you could be wearing Dark Star or Raven clothes.

You must stick with how you feel most comfortable. It is your life to do as you please and to dress as you please. If he can't handle that, then that's his problem.

Maybe you could ask the opinion of friends, both guys and girls. They could give you better opinions as they could see exactly how you look.

If it's any consolation, my mum is in her 40's now, but being skinny, she still looks terrific in goth clothing!!

[Xoax34]

Thats his problem. Dont change what you love about yourself. Especially if he is making nasty comments. Your SO is supposed to support you. Were you always in this style, because if he didn't like it to a point where he is making nasty comments and bringing you down , why did he get with you?

[LittleSally]

Why did he even begin to be your boyfriend if the way you dress affects him so much?
The level of his intelligence and your willingness to be trampled on is affecting your relationship, not your dressing style.

Be yourself, respect yourself and dump his loser ass, or stay with him and change everything about yourself to suite his perception of who you should be.

[boringmurderer]

if he's letting his family's opinion change HIS opinion of YOU then he does NOT deserve you and doesn't TRULY love you! no one who truly loves you would ever try to change you or your behavior unless your behavior was self-destructive or harmful to other people - and fashion does none of these things!

[MayaJJ]

Your style sounds really cute, and you should tell him that if he wants to change you and what you like, he doesn't care about you. It doesn't mean you should break up but he should know that it's a sign that he is selfish and doesn't value your interests. Maybe he can change :)

[zombiebabe]

why not dump him and find someone who will like your style?

[MrTexan37]

GET RID OF HIM!!! what a fuckin dick!! If he makes nasty comments at you for how you dress its only a matter of time before he's out behind your back lookin for some barbie or hipster girl who dresses like he wants so get rid of him now and save yourself some heart ache!!!

[Henrieke]

He fell in love with you for who you are, it's not fair of him to try and change you. If he can't take you for who you are he doesn't deserve you.
Don't change if you like the way you are now! It's your life and your style.

[Intellectiskey]

here's the thing, I believe if a person truly loves you, you won't have to change a damn thing about yourself.
Tell him this is you, and if you dont like it, then fuck off.

[Anonymous]

He doesn't like your style and he's not going to change.
You like your style and are unwilling to change.

If it's that big of a deal to the both of you, then break up.

[mooky06]

I second this

[SleepyChan]

Dump him! I'm sure he has physical flaws too that you don't point out.

I wish I had the money to wear Lolita clothes more!

[Asker]

Thanks for your advice :)

[apearce]

Don't date people who won't accept the way you dress. I'm sure he'll have no trouble finding a more regular dressing girl lol.

[bang678]

Don't change your appearance for him. Its his own problem if he can't respect that what you wear makes you feel good.

[AuroraOak]

How long have you been together and has this always been an issue between you?

[Asker]

We've been together for one year he didn't mind it at the start

It hasn't been a bad issue until his friends/ family made a comment on his Facebook saying I'm "too different from the crowd" "that I stand out too much from the average person" I don't care what his family thinks i just hate that it's affecting his thinking

[AuroraOak]

He's become embarrassed that you have been marked out as something different. It's entirely up to you how you dress and present yourself to the world. I think he is using this as an excuse for some other insecurity he is possibly feeling between you. If you've been together for a year, this can't be the first time that somebody has made a comment about your dress sense or your style. I think there is something bigger going on in his head. He could have just laughed that comment off and defended you but instead he is making it an issue. His pride is possibly dented.

Are you willing to change your style to make him feel more comfortable or will he just have to deal with it?

[nirali792]

Change !!
If it suits u continue else go back to ur style

[PurpleTeardrops]

Break up with him, he should love you as you are, not love the "ideal" version of you in his head.

[Anonymous]

If what you're wearing makes u feel confident then go for it

[Lucid_mysteries]

dump the idiot

[missy223]

Dump him...

[evenlift]

Just dump him.