In the past, my wife used to wear clothes I like. But now her style has changed and she wears something that doesn't attract me so much.This is the example of her old style (random pic from internet)And this is the example of her new style (also random pics)Before: dresses, skirts, tight jeans. Now: loose jeans, loose shirts, strange accessories and glasses.
She says that the fashion I like is outdated and she wears clothes that are relevant now in 2020. And also she grew up and doesn't want to look like a teenager. She feels uncomfortable in such clothes.
But what if I don't like today's fashion and prefer the old style? What if I don't understand what's wrong with wearing nice dresses that emphasize her shape instead of unshaped boyfriend jeans, why it makes her look like a teenager? It just makes her look beautiful!
She's 30 (not 50!) and her body is perfect. She asks, "do you love me in any clothes"? Of course, I do, but I think that it's not the argument to wear what I don't like, is it? How to solve this problem? I want her to look feminine. Does anyone have a success story?
buy her a dress you like and take her out on a date some where she likes.. watch a current kdrama to see what the latest style is.. and be conservative. if your wife is perfect in body why you want her walking around dressed to kill attracting all the wrong people? rather have mine in baggy unatrractive clothing.. then too mabye she's dressing how the other man wants her to dress.. and well you lost your chance a long time ago. i'd discuss all htis with her.. in the end she should dress how she wants.. and you shoudl accept her for who she is. but if she loves you she could mix it up a bit for you.. then too if you loved her.. you could just let her be who she is.. without duress and stress.. we shoudl all sacrifice somewhat for hte relationship.. but neither should dictate to the other what that should be. best you can do is discuss and share your feelings.. and then accept theirs and their decision. light a fire in that relationship might get you better results tho.. is why i thought u should take her on a date.. and buy her a nice dress half way between what she does like.. and what you like and on the conservative side. she shouldn't have to feel over exposed in public. that other man thing tho.. when someoen changes suddenly.. well.. that's a sign. and an attractive woman has the world to choose from.. . good luck.
I agree. Women's fashion these days is just terrible. It looks pretty lazy like they just threw on whatever was lying on their floor at the time and called it "modern" or "urban". And you know women will then eat it up because if they're not wearing the latest "trends" then they're not fashionable and with the "in-crowd". I mean, if someone feels like they need to change their wardrobe to wear the clothes that are popular today, then it just means they don't have a unique style and just follow the herd. Plus, I'm pretty sure dressing "grown up" doesn't mean wearing oversized jeans with gaping holes in them. I'm pretty sure I did that in my grunge phase of high school! It's pretty ironic that she says she doesn't want to look like a teenager and then dresses like one.
The pics you posted of what you like are much better, but you can't make her wear something she doesn't want to. Just tell her when she wears something nice that you like it on her and when she doesn't wear something you like, don't compliment her. Hopefully that would condition her clothing choice more, but it probably won't if she cares too much about the latest trends.
Respect your wife. As long as she is not dressing in ways that is whorish, respect her. Its snot about what makes you are aged to her. You should be able to love her without it. If you can't, then maybe you got with her for all the wrong reasons. Plus as women our style changes as we get older. Don't be talking about her legs and her body that way. Respect your wife. She has every right to cover herself. Love her for her. It has nothing to do with what's outdated or not. If a guy did something like that to me I would rethink being involved with that kind of person. Don't talk about her body. Love her for her soul. If she feels uncomfortable in those clothes, she feels uncomfortable in them. Respect. Don't treat your wife that way or else God forbid she may end up becoming a person is going to resent you for it, and cheating on you for a guy who don't do that. She can wear those dresses when she feels like it and her best self. I think it's very clear the reason why she stopped wearing it and it's and it's because of you.
You can suggest a few outfits, I've done that to past boyfriends. "I think this shirt in this color would look good on you" if they try it and like it yay for me. If they don't that doesn't matter. I love them for them and not for their outfits. But "making" someone do something just sound bad. Making a suggestion is fine.
I hope you will realise she just looks amazing in every outfit she wants to wear and feels confident and comfortable in. There's nothing more attractive than a confident person.
I mean, you want her to wear that style in the first photo? You’re not making it easy on her to say “yes” are you? Lol.
That style does look outdated I guess, but what situations do you want her to wear this to?
I’m sure she can wear this sometimes for you, but if she doesn’t like the style then it shouldn’t bother you much if she doesn’t want to wear it.
For me, yes, I have a preference over what the women I like wear, but it’s not something I care too much about. If she doesn’t like my preference or want to wear it then it’s not a huge deal.
2
2 Reply
Asker
+1 y
Well, that pic was just as an example. Of course, I don't ask her to wear dresses like that everywhere. I just talk about clothes that expose her perfect legs and shape rather than hide it under loose forms. These are the examples of what I like too: - - - - - Is that all outdated?
But what if she just doesn’t want to wear such a thing? I mean, you’d probably wear what she wants you to wear even if you don’t like it, what? A few times maybe.
What if she told you to keep on wearing what you don’t like to wear? You’d probably get angry with her and tell her you want to wear what you want to wear right?
If my wife told me to wear something that I didn’t like, but if I knew she liked it then I’d wear it for her.
But for how long? There comes a point where it’s too much and now I want to wear what I want.
Be creative, you can find something you like and she likes and the both can be happy.
She needs a healthy dose of dread. Don't go out and cheat on her, but do make it clear that you could if you where so inclined. She should believe you have plenty of valid options. And don't just directly say it, that makes you look like a manipulative asshole. The potential for you moving on to another woman must be implied, not directly stated.
If she thinks she might be losing you, or might be replaced by "a younger, prettier women". She will put much more effort into pleasing you.
Now, she takes you for granted. Confidently assumes you'll always be there with her as long as it suits her. That's an unhealthy state for any relationship to be in, because that's when partners stop putting effort into keeping their SO interested. Which eventually leads to the death of attraction, and the end of the relationship.
A couple good ways to covertly insight dread in an SO are these. 1. Get new opposite sex friends, bonus points if they're attractive. 2. Start improving yourself. If you just randomly start working out and eating healthy, she's gonna start wondering who you're doing it for. 3. Decrease your expressions of interest in her. Do you usually kiss her before heading to work? Stop doing that. Do you tell her you love her frequently? Stop doing that. Etc...
Once she's afraid of losing you, she'll start doing more of the things she knows you like naturally of her own accord without you asking.
Her current choice of style is a nice one. It’s not for ‘50 yr olds’ it’s for fashion conscious people. You should be proud that she has good dress sense! As she ages, she’s getting to know what suits her and what she feels good in.
On a side note, my partner accepts me and my choices. Sometimes he says oh I don’t really like those shoes, but he knows I do and he is proud of me whatever I wear. I also ask his advice on some items, and he’s always honest. I take him and his dress sense as it comes.
You can't "make" one wear something. You can suggest it, but if she personally doesn't feel that the style suits or speaks to the way she carries herself, you can't make her into someone she no longer is. Fasion for people is often a reflection of how they care to present themself, if you push her to change her style, you can cause friction between the two of you. Why not compromise and come to a sort of medium, buy her an outfit you love and take her out on a date where you find the outfit to be fitting and tell her you miss her in such clothes. Such dresses are sutibable for a beach date/picnic date/ a date to a museum/a botanical garden/a brunch date at an upscale cafe/a dinner date at a refined spot.
Though it's no longer her everyday style, maybe she can dress up for you on special occasions.
I dont sss the problem, I think your being to picky, kinda sound controlling nobody likes that.
Best idea I got is actually learn something about the fashion scene, you probably should anyways cause its seem kinda inportant to her, anyway if you learn some of it, you can influence or nudge her towards something fashionable that you both like, go with the flow instead of against the current suggestions.
Say a girl here say compliment what she wears that you do like, also a solid strategy.
Honestly as long as she was still taking the clothes off and jumping in bed for me I wouldn't care what she wore in public, I think most guys would be upset if there girl was showing off the goods in public for strangers, yours keeps them under wraps just for you. Really dont see a problem here.
I recently went through this exact thing with my wife (she’s 31) I got her to go for it by suggesting certain styles and even taking her out shopping for fun where she’d try stuff on for me and I’d reward her by buying what I liked and compliment her daily when she’d wear it, also she noticed a big difference in how I was with her sexually as we started having sex 3-4 times a week versus 1 time a week. It just came naturally as I found her way more attractive now. Do we both won and she loves dressing up for me now. I like the exact same styles you posted.
You are shit out of luck bro , you’re best to just love her for her , getting her naked should be the only thing you care about , I dated a girl that I didn’t care to much on her choices of outfits , when I made suggestions to her she would get upset with me until I realized just to accept her for who she is , so when you love and care about someone those things shouldn’t really bother you , you are just fantasizing about something your wife doesn’t fulfill , but the reality of it , it’s not that big of deal , so just brush it under the carpet and let her be her , clothes are just clothes , they look better on the floor by your bed , you don’t want them to be on the floor by another guys bed , love her for her
Surely there's gotta be some kind of compromise, there. It sounds like you already talked to her about it, so that's a good thinng. You can't force her to wear what you like, but surely there's something out there that both of you like. You could try to take her shopping, or look at clothes online together.
What about buying her something you would like her to wear, take her on a special surprise date (might have to be super creative here with coronavirus being a problem) and just make the day all about her. Maybe she will feel really good and will make more of a habit of dressing that way once in awhile. If it isn't her style anymore, then just really appreciate the time she does dress the way.
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Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Bruh, her body her choice for the outside world and the way she wants to look like in life, she isn't entitled to wear what you like! Discuss about it seriously about bed play, buy dress'y lingerie, try to come to a middle ground somewhere, or like propose her to buy/try a middle ground of modern but less androgynous clothes respecting her new style but that you enjoy bette? Communicate, be open to the other's feelings, don't be selfish and you're reduce the odds she will; and if it's a no it's a no because she isn't either to have any last word on how you dress!
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Unfortunately that's the style today. Women dress themselves larger than they actually are, with baggier wider fitting clothes.
I used to do the same, then I realised how miserable it is to cover up my hourglass figure in baggy jeans!! I should be showing it off.
I'm all for the dresses and the colours and the skirts. That's what I like. But you should also understand that very few women dress like that today, it makes you feel overdressed, out of place and insecure. Other women behind my back will say I'm trying to hard, I'm desperate, why is she wearing a dress... etc.
Ultimately, she's going to wear what she's most comfortable in, however perhaps you can help her find a balance. Something more feminine that she's comfortable in. Perhaps treat her, take her shopping and offer to buy her something that both of you like. Make a suggestion to her.
Buy her a pretty dress, and compliment her a lot every time she wears an outfit that is slightly more like what you like seeing her in. Take her to a nice restaurant where the appropriate dress code is a pretty dress, where she'd be out of place wearing baggy jeans, and she'll have to dress up, and then just tell her how beautiful she looks in her dress.
Like seriously, you can't impose your choice on her. She can wear whatever she like and feels comfortable in. Otherwise you can tell her that once in a while you would like to see her in her old style. The second style is also feminine to some extent.
Make is the wrong word. Ultimately she needs to feel comfortable in what she is wearing. Maybe ask for one night a month where she'd wear a dress that you both can agree on. To be honest the 2 jeans pics you posted are still pretty feminine.
I think if you push this it's going to backfire on you. What works in the long run is respecting your partner's needs and wants.
why should she show off her body? to get other men and old geezers to look at her ass? she attracted you, and that was enough for her. now she is probably disgusted by all the attention tight fitted clothes get her. I, for instance, love to dress stylishly with tight jeans and dresses (to attract men MY AGE), but some days I dress like Cinderella because I am so sick of how many 60 year old guys find it appropriate to ask me for my number.
when you were dating or earlier into the relationship. she wore things to get your attention more. now that you put a ring on her finger and said "I DO". she wears things for comfort more often.
could just straight up ask her to wear stuff like she did in the past. because you found her to be more beautiful in those types of clothes. when she went the extra mile to get your attention.
but over type the styles and trends change so you might just have to deal with it.
Perhaps you too could go shopping together and pick out something that you both like. I agree with her that she is a grown woman now and it feels more comfortable to wear mature clothes at that age, but maybe she can find something that is age appropriate and pleasing to you. There are a lot of options out there; loose shirts and jeans aren’t the only things that look grown up. Talk to her about this. Take her to the mall; make a date of it. Good luck!
Sounds like some SUPER BASIC, and usual 'Dude doesn't get it" thing!! You are the idiot, and you are the one at fault!! You aren't listening to her, and you aren't caring about her. Yeah, REALLY!! Post like a man, not Anonymous, like a Punk, or send me a message, and let's fix this.
You can’t “make” anyone wear what you like. It’s their body which means it’s there choice on how they want to dress and present themselves. You said your wife doesn’t feel comfortable in her old style as she grew up and didn’t want to look like a teenager so you need to respect that.
She can only wear things she has, why don’t you just take away all her cloths u don’t like, and replace it with those you want her to wear, trust me, she can only wear things she has, by doing that, you are getting what you want as well as telling her you don’t like her dress sense
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