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You realize pregnancy can happen to anyone, right? Even if you used protection or are on birth control. If you are having sex, there's a risk.
@snowangle Yeah, but you can terminate pregnancy too. Whether you choose to or not falls under one of those "bad decisions". You can also choose not to sleep with men who would walk away the moment they find out you're pregnant - again another "bad decision".
Sometimes you think you know a guy and then it turns out he's not there for you. That's the guy's fault; not the girl's for trusting him. And not everyone is okay with abortion. I personally could never do it... the knowledge that I ended a life inside of me would absolutely destroy me. I don't see how choosing not to kill my own child is a "bad decision." Disclaimer: I'm pro choice, because even if I disagree with abortion I don't want to control what other women do with their bodies. And I have no children, but if a "surprise" were to happen I would keep it without a doubt.
There are also cases where the father has died, I don't think that proves that she's made bad decisions in her life, could also be that he's cheated on her and she had no idea, doesn't mean she made bad decisions, she might've thought she had found the one only to be walked out on. She might've thought she found a suitable partner at first but they started turning to drugs or became violent later. Some issues come later in a relationship that nobody would ever have guessed would happen.Not all single mothers have made bad decisions in their life.
But my two examples are linked1) Sleep with whoever you want, that's fine I have nothing against that - just abort if you get pregnant.2) Don't want to abort because of ethical reasons? Im fine with that too - just be more selective with your partners. @rainie_ I think we both agree that healthy young men do not die very often. It does happen but the majority of young single mothers are because they slept with a chav who knocked her up and left. Would personally you look at a guy on benefits, always in trouble with the police, always out drinking every night and think "Yes! I want to date that man, have and his children he's going to be a great father"? I don't think so because you have standards. Like I said though, older single mothers legitimately have the reasons you stated. If you're 18-25 then you have definitely made a bad choice because most guys that age cannot possibly afford or are mature enough to raise children properly.
That's why to me, deciding to carry the baby to term KNOWING the guy is probably out of his depth despite what good intentions he has, is a bad decision.
@snowangle "Sometimes you think you know a guy and then it turns out he's not there for you."This is vastly more likely to happen to women who are irresponsible/stupid and therefore not dating material for smart men.
Well people make mistakes because we are humans after all, just because you were irresponsible when you were young at some point does not mean that you'll be irresponsible for the rest of your life. And you don't have to be "stupid" to make some wrong decisions in life.
@Rainie_ "just because you were irresponsible when you were young at some point does not mean that you'll be irresponsible for the rest of your life."It does make it a lot more likely and if it takes an unplanned pregnancy to teach you responsibility that in itself is telling of your personality, plus you have an incentive (him dating you and giving you money/security/stability) to tell a man you've changed your ways, even if it's not true so he can't take your word for it.Maybe I'm a bit harsh because I had to be responsible and study hard to go from nothing to my current lifestyle, a woman who was ever irresponsible enough to have a child with some deadbeat loser just wouldn't match with me: of course there will be lots of guys out there who have been even more irresponsible than young single mothers but simply got lucky because men can't get pregnant.
Also you're generalizing. How are you going to judge a single parent before you even know their situation? Plus, just because she's no longer romantic partners with the father doesn't mean he's a loser and a bad father. Maybe he does provide for his kid but they didn't work out as a couple. Although I still fail to see how a guy's failures is something to judge the GIRL for.
@snowangle If it gets to the "should we date" stage I assume the guy already knows her situation (or at least what she told him her situation is). If she's that one in a million exception he'd know.
*single parents should probably stick together... seems the most reasonable
Why date a woman who has a kid when there's millions of other women to choose from.