Why don't Girls like Nerds?

Question

Girls will claim that they like nerdy guys all day long, but the nerds they have in mind are guys that like comic books, gaming, and cosplay. These types of guys are not real nerds. Comic books, gaming, and cosplay are common place and part of popular culture. Real nerds are the guys that love computer programming, working mathematics problems, and trying to comprehend scientific theories. There is a gaping chasm between the nerds that girls like and real hardcore nerds. I am the latter type of nerd. I like hardcore science and mathematics. From my personal experience as well as the experience of my friends, girls do not like us. The only time we get contact with the opposite sex is when they need help with homework. It is pretty sad to see these hardcore nerdy guys, all of which have strong futures, get brushed aside by girls. The whole thing has made me somewhat resent females in general. Girls want a guy with a strong career that can provide for them, but then they immediately mark hardcore nerds as nonviable mates. Well fuck you women. Get off your high horse.

foighveoirgho · Accepted Answer

Probably because woman usually need more than financial stability to be attracted to someone, and initial attraction plays a big role in that. To simplify, I've noticed three crucial points most women choose their mates on. 1.) Looks 2.) Conversational Skills 3.) Financial potential. Those three things are usually followed in that order unless a woman is trying for one specific point, (Usually 1 or 2). For example, a woman finds an attractive male, speaks to them for a while to A) See if they're worth it B) Build propinquity to feel a more safe connection with them. If those two aren't met, then (for the non-gold digging population) it usually results in the other party having no chance.

With that- I have three pieces of advice for you.
1.) Find females in your personality type, although they may be rare, they do exist.
2.) Work on your social skills. Yes, they CAN be worked on, as social skills are developed and not given at birth. Have you ever heard a baby recite Shakespeare? Social learning is based mostly on environmental influences, and although there are inhibitors such as mental disorders, it's still not impossible to improve. Many woman will tolerate amounts of awkwardness, more so those who are "nerdy". (Keep also in mind, through evolution woman are more inclined to be attractive to aggressive speakers, someone who will keep them enticed.) A type personality is not very attractive, either.
3.) Try not to show bitterness, because that is also very unattractive, at least in majority.

To clarify, I'm not speaking about EVERY female, and these may not work for you in particular, but these are usually good places to start. Good luck to you, sir.

JiminsHoe · Accepted Answer

Define "nerd" because if you mean a guy with bad hygiene and acne who's very awkward, that's a stereotype and they're not nerds, they're just awkward people with bad hygiene and acne and they have nothing to do with nerds. And you shouldn't wonder why chicks don't dig that because who would be attracted to an awkward person who does not know how to initiate or even be in a conversation who has a pizza face. On the other hand if we're going to look at the exact definition of a nerd it would be a smart person, which in my opinion is obviously gold. The word nerd just came about from jealous low lives who only have their popularity, status, or looks going for them and frankly have nothing else to offer. So if you're using nerd in the sense of a genius, girls do like these "nerds" because believe it or not, intelligence is extremely attractive.

KibbityKabbit · Accepted Answer

I like both types of nerds you described. Intelligence is extremely attractive, in my opinion. For example, my boyfriend is very much into anything to do with biology & space based science. When he goes into a discussion of either & uses all the scientific terms on the matter... my heart begins to pound like no other. He is the sexiest being to me in those moments. My love for him only increases by how he finds me just as intelligent as he is! I have this problem where I see the solutions/answers all in mind, yet I cannot verbalize them. Every single time I try to explain a scientific or "super smart" subject, I sound like a basic ditz type chick. The wheels are turning in my head, but everything is lost once I open my mouth.

ebbyeb · Accepted Answer

I think that you're thinking about "geeks". Nerds are the types of people obsessed with popular cultural things like you mentioned... Video games, cosplay etc. But I think the proper term for what you just mentioned would be "geek"... Since those types of people are far different. Yes, women tend to like nerds, as for geeks, I would say not so much.

You're also talking about half of the human population here bud. Let's be frank. Not every woman is like that. You're obviously just finding all the wrong types of people. I'm sorry that you're stuck in that rutty cycle of very similar people, but if you look harder, you'll find what you're looking for I'm sure.

Kaazsz · Accepted Answer

The reality is you are ugly, fat, and have no social skills, and you are mad that HOT girls don't like you. But I'm sure girls on your level would be fine with you. Just how women loooove to cry about guys treating them like shit, the reality is they fall for fuck boys and players like idiots. Well us guys are just as stupid and we think we can be a fat disgusting socially retarded idiot and get supermodels. That's not how the world works. Girls don't turn you down because you're a nerd. Girls turn you down because you're a 2 shooting for 10's. Hey, I feel ya. I'm ugly as fuck and I'm studying physics. But ya know what? I work on my physical fitness, my style, and my appearance and social skills and I've had more and more attention from girls and it's only getting better. You just gotta stop being a stereotypical nerd with your stank breath and pimples and arms so thin they break in the wind lol.

AleDeEurope · Accepted Answer

Because nerds tend to don't know how to talk to women.

IvyOp · Answer

I married a nerd. But his nerdiness is irrelevant... because what matters is that's he's a nice guy, dependable, confident and sweet. He's not a defensive asshole telling women to fuck off. Guess what? We sense your shitty, defensive attitude and THAT'S what turns us off. If you are having trouble it' probably because your have some self-esteem or anger issues, and it shows through. If you want something, go after it... don't sit around waiting for it to chase you and then curse them when they don't show up the way you expect.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

Lets face it Young girls like someone with some degree of romantic savy. Us nerds are somewhat thin on that characteristic. Why , because the math does not always add up. Women are a variable variable. so not like chemistry where you can do your calculations and have some idea what the product of your experiment should yield, plus or minus a certain percent of error. For us who may not be able to read emotional faces it can be frustrating. Girls can be Be Nerds. Sheldon found Amy. This is more like gambling. You gotta take a chance.

ChocEyes1 · Answer

I'm pretty sure girls don't think it's a turn off to be into math or science. What many people don't realize is that this is not ENOUGH to attract girls. The reason why some nerds do badly with girls is not because of what they're interested in, but because of what they overlook.

Some nerds just ignore or make no effort in developing social skills, physical atributes or dressing style. It's a turn on to have a sharp mind, but this is going to be nullified if the person doesn't know how to interect with others (to the point of making other unconfortable), is completely out of shape or dresses like a oversized 5 year old kid.

As human beings we need to be concerned about our develpoment as a whole and not just one area. This is what many nerds don't get. Interal development is key.

Anonymous · Answer

The guy still needs somewhat decent social skills. Some nerds are so socially inept or self absorbed that they aren't pleasant to talk to or even downright rude. I personally dated a very intelligent engineer who was my meanest boyfriend, just seeing me as a project to put together just how he liked me.

Usually, the dudes who are upset really just want sex (often with an attractive chick) without her bothering him the rest of the time. All you mention is prestigious careers and getting mates, not actually being enjoyable to be around or working on looking attractive.

The nerdier guys who do ok at socializing usually do ok with women or at least get a few girlfriends. The ones who hit the gym and wear clothes that fit along with practicing socialization do even better.

Unit1 · Answer

It's pretty simple. Nerds are usually ugly. Unattractive. An eye sore. Lack of caring about their own appearance and aesthetics.

Who wants him

When there are better looking men out there (e. g. Drake, Brad Pitt)?

Any man can do computer programming, resolve mathematical problems and be into Sci-Fi without looking or being anything like a nerd.

AnyaKarun · Answer

Someone is extremely bitter. I'm actually attracted to guys who are into science and math, I find their intelligence and thirst for knowledge to be real sexy. However, in my experience the nerds I have dealt with were more reserved and less outgoing, which isn't something I like in a partner

And I think you really need to chill man and stop lumping us all together

helloitsmethere · Answer

Wow, blaming ALL women for not being attracted to you. Something's not right here...

Miladin · Answer

First point - don't listen to women, most are not honest and just try to look good, and when you say "Nerd" they imagine Henry Cavill or Ryan Gosling or some other cute, sexy, tall, strong but little goofy smart guy.

Second point - don't over-analyze women, they're simple when it comes to men. What matters to them the most is first looks, style, then confidence, status. That's why they often go for posers or jocks who have 0 ambition, are not serious and often act like they don't give a S. Women mistakenly take this as "interesting" or "mysterious". But it's not their fault, it's their nature.

Panda1911 · Answer

I think it kinda has to do with if they often correct her about stuff or generally correct people or talk as if we're stupid, or just generally make us feel dumb. There's also the fact that sometimes they can (not all) be kinda creepy at times as far as contact... It really depends on who they are as a person as well as how they interact with others

Maypai · Answer

I like nerds, but not nerdy guys. What that means is if you're into computers, engineering, mathematics and stuff like that I think that's pretty cool, but if you're into World of Warcraft/games like that, you don't have any friends and you obsess over cartoon girls then that is a MASSIVE turn off.

HungLikeAHorsefly · Answer

I think it's because a lot of nerds don't have the social skills necessary to relate to women on a romantic level. When they do, they can come off as weak or at least not as aggressive as some women prefer. That's just my experience, though.

That said, I work in a very nerdy field (electronics) and nearly every single person I work with has a significant other.

Rosewiththorns02 · Answer

Ok so the guy I like is thought of as the nerdiest guy in our grade and he's super smart. Like all high honor classes high honor roll and he's your definition of a nerd. I like him though bc once I got to know him he was sweet and caring and became my best friend. I wouldn't trade anything for him

fauchelevent · Answer

Well, my boyfriend's a physics student and likes to try to comprehend scientific theories but I guess that I wouldn't like a hardcore science and maths and programming guy because it's pretty different to my own interests. If he likes coming books and gaming, that's good, it means that we have things in common but if he's a 'hardcore' nerd then we are pretty different in terms of studying and what we enjoy so I don't know if he'd be too fun to be around.

Ephemera1 · Answer

By your definition, I'm a nerd and if I'm being honest I've had girls in HS ask me for homework help which I simply passed on doing. I mean sure I've changed in years but I'm still a "nerd" even if most ladies don't know how knowledgable I am in mention subjects.

TripleAce · Answer

The nerds that they so speak of have to have a few things

1. Sterotypical nerd appearance wise, Clark Kent is an example.
2. Not overly anti social. Anti social enough to be cute but willing to come out of your comfort zone for her

Basically anything stereotypical will do the trick. The idea... is more important here than actually being the geeky guy. Like seeing t-shirts that say 'I love nerds'

Anonymous · Answer

You sound so angry, I am a nerd too. But by your words, you may like math and science but isn't actually intelligent or well aware. Otherwise, you would have already known the answers. Science, psychology, and population behaviors already revealed most about human behavior.

You claim to read about science but don't know the basic mating behavior of all animals. Attractiveness is the most important about finding mates. Most nerds aren't very attractive either physically or fashion-wise, resources come on later. However many scientists figured out manipulations technics to bed women, and I can vouch they always work. I have tried it but ultimately backed off due to guilt. Women are attracted to hot guys and they will always have an upper hand unless they have a terrible personality.

ouzaki · Answer

Girls like it when a guy makes her feel confortable. If you are a nerd or not you just need to be able to make a conversation, be funny. The person needs to love your company, make her enjoy the moments you spend together.
It's doesn't matter if you are small, tall, a nerd, a football player, or whatever. Your personality is what will make people want to be with you.
If you love mathematics problems and science it's great, but it shouldn't be what defines you.

Anonymous · Answer

false. not all girls are like that. This one guy told me that he built himself a computer and programed it (and I usually like fun sporty guys) and it made me like him 100 times more because the fact that he could do something like that made him smart.

Anonymous · Answer

Maybe you're broke. Or maybe you're boring. You sounds really boring.

WalterRadio · Answer

If you want them to change their tune, then figure out how to make a lot of money with your knowledge of science and mathematics. That is what I did. It works.

Why don't Girls like Nerds?

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