Girls don't really like nerds. They like the attractive guy who just so happens to be a nerd. Agree or disgree?

[Anonymous]

Agree

Disgree

[DextroShade]

Agree, being into nerdy stuff usually turns girls off unless your value is high enough to compensate for it. Henry Cavill and his famous love of Warhammer 40K is a good example.

[Asker]

Exactly. Bro most girls won't have a conversation about games and comic books. Most will get bored really quick or think you're a loser. Unless of course you're attractive. Then they give a shit

[Guanfei]

They don't love nerds. They love Henri Cavill nerd type.

[far2gud4u]

My partner is a traditional nerd, so much so he dragged me to a steam engine festival on Saturday. He likes anything to do with computers, robotics and engineering. He has a chemistry degree. I think he may be a top class nerd.

Was he traditionally good looking when he was in his uni years? Probably not and even now he probably isn't but to me he is an absolute god. Gorgeous sparkly eyes, I love his brain and he is the most considerate person ever.

I am like Nadia from American Pie... I found my "Geek" but what did I find attractive about him when we met? It was the way he held himself, listened to the room and engaged in conversation. We met in a sauna, both sweaty and red faced. The way he looked at me made my blood simmer for him and I instantly felt an attraction. He was so shy he gave off taken vibes so I was friendly and cordial. It took another meeting for him to pluck up the courage and sit and chat to me! Now we are 8 months in and so ridiculously in love our friends hate us!

[Asker]

A? Disney fairy tale come true. Well done

[far2gud4u]

Worth waiting for to find and discarding anything that is less!

[BoopBoopBeep]

I think I'm pretty nerdy. I also like video games. 40% of gamers are women. I hang out with those women a lot. Many of them have expressed interest in me. I'm not sure where the other comments on here are coming from. Even the women I date who aren't gamers, 90% of them end up playing with me at least a little bit. I of course will gladly partake in their hobbies as well. I work in an office that's 80% female easily. I don't think I'm any less nerdy at work. I've had tons of attention in the building.

Maybe stop hanging out/going after haters. Maybe it's geographic? Where y'all from/at?

[Alli39]

I mean I hope you'd find the people you're interested in attractive, and intelligence or shared interests (or however you're defining "nerd") can be part of that attraction. So yes girls like nerds just fine and they find those people attractive.

Also, guys that "happen to be nerdy" but are also stereotypically attractive are, in fact both a nerd, and attractive. It's not exactly mutually exclusive.

[Asker]

They don't like stereotypical nerds attractive. The find a guy who's attractive first and then want to get? to know him. But true nerds hardly attract any women

[Alli39]

Not really. People find different things attractive. I'm a nerd, and I'm friends with a lot of nerdy people, plenty of whom are or have been in relationships. Sometimes their SOs aren't someone I would consider especially attractive but they clearly are happy. So people are being attracted to people they find attractive, one trait of which may be nerdiness, or they simply might not find nerdiness a turn off. It depends on the person. I think you're trying to imply that a "true nerd" has to be physically unattractive to all people, which isn't true at all.

[Alli39]

But just to clarify, you do realize that being a "nerd" just refers to someone who is very knowledgable/enthusiastic about some sort of niche interest right?

[Asker]

Meh there's always genenal look/appearance that attracts people. Its not that subjective. And an actual a fat guy with a double chin and long hair or a scrawny looking nerd with a glasses. Most women dont find these mem attractive. I don't care anecdotal evidence. Im talking in the general sense. Generalities>exceptions

[Alli39]

I think you're still missing the point that "nerd" doesn't mean physically unattractive.

[inhua]

he's not wrong though. women have to find a guy physically attractive first before anything else matters regardless of his personality, hobbies, interests etc.

[Asker]

@inhua Exactly. Im so tired of all the damn virtue signaling

[Alli39]

@inhua I mean, to some extent isn't that true for most people? It's hard to be in a romantic/sexual relationship with someone you you don't find attractive in the slightest. It's just important to remember that what people find attractive in another person is actually quite varied and a person doesn't have to by stereotypically attractive to be attractive to an individual. I think it's very rare to find someone who I can't name a single thing about them that's attractive (ex. you might have nice eyes even if you're "too skinny" to be considered stereotypically attractive) or could become attractive with the right attention (ex. changing hair/skin care routines, improving diet and exercise habits, dressing to your body type, etc). And physical attraction really isn't enough, at least for me, to want to date a guy. If his personally sucks I don't care what he looks like. Why would I go find someone that I at least enjoy being around and can come to appreciate. Actions, demeanor, attitude, and personality are huge parts of what is or isn't attractive in a person, regardless of gender.

[Asker]

Not really. Attractiveness isn't that subjective. If you put a fat or scrawny nerdy looking guy next to a guy who's fit, jawline, tall and clear skin, who are the majority of women going to pick? And if they are subjective, they're subjective within the same caliber of men. But you can't put a 4 nect to an 7 or 8 and expect anyone to pick the 4

[Alli39]

Good lord. You're very hung up on this aren't you. But sure, if you put to people next to each other with identical personalities, interests, etc and the only difference between them was that one was more physically attractive than the other to whoever you were asking, then yes, the person is going to pick the person that is more physically attractive. Being attracted to nerdiness doesn't mean you don't have other things you look for in a person or find attractive.

What I've been trying to say is that nerdiness really can be a positive/desirable trait for women, not just that they accept it because the man is physically attractive.

So if your question was "are some women actually attracted to nerdiness", then yes, they are. Some people take it as a signal of intelligence or an interesting personality. But if your question is "are women attracted to people they don't find attractive/only find one thing about them attractive", then no, why would they be? Attraction is rarely a single characteristic. For me, I don't care how hot the guy is if he's boring, and I don't care how smart the guy is if he's rude, even if I find being intelligent and handsome to be attractive.

[Asker]

Its not that its a great trait, its the guy whos attractive that makes it a positive trait or desirable trait. And its important because a lot of times what women say is attractive doesn't align with their actions. And you also won't give a nerdy guy to show his traits if he isn't attractive appearance wise first. Can't deny human nature.

[Alli39]

Look if you think nerdiness isn't attractive then it's you against all the people that do. Personally, I like when people have interests and aren't afraid to learn about their thing and share it with others. I'm very nerdy myself (good grades, dnd, too many fantasy novels, niche interests, you name it) and it's fun to be able to share that with someone. That makes it attractive emotionally. Realistically, I hardly know anyone who isn't at least a bit nerdy/geeky just because of the people I tend to be around.

It's also the case that lots of people really only date people that they've had the chance to get to know (I hear this a lot from women since it tends to be physically safer and limits how many bad dates you end up going on). In that case, his personality will show through. I think most people who identify nerdiness as attractive tend to be this way, just like anyone else who identifies a personality trait as an important trait for attraction. How would they know the guy has it if they don't know the person first? Of course there are people that are too shallow to get to know a guy they're not immediately physically attracted to, but those probably aren't the women who will find the guy's personality attractive to begin with.

[Asker]

Caring about looks isn't shallow 🙄. Its only shallow if that's the only thing you value. But in order for personality and characteristics to matter, you have to pass the person's threshold of physical attraction first. Most human beings are this way. It's normal and part of human nature. Looks attract, personality keeps. But if the looks aren't there first, you don't get to walk through the door.

[Asker]

Nerds in general don't get an opportunity to show there amazing personality because they're not attractive physically to most women. Its not thst hard to understand

[Alli39]

I mean for me this seems to assume that people only get to know members of the opposite sex with romantic/sexual intent, which isn't the case. I agree that it's probably harder for guys who aren't stereotypically attractive to just go up and hit on random women, but that's not really my point. And frankly I think my point has been made, so I'm going to leave this to rest. I hope you have a good day 👍

[Asker]

Even for friendships, most women don't want to hang around the stereotypical nerd.

[inhua]

it's true for everyone but somehow "hateful" to state this fact. there's nothing wrong with women wanting hot guys just like it's nothing wrong with men wanting hot girls however the difference is that men are willing to admit this but get shamed to the point of having to virtue signal because women think it's shallow as they've convinced themselves that they care about personality when they are no different to men.

now not every woman would go for the exact same guy but there are certain traits women are attracted to which with enough data, create a series of patterns to determine which men are likely more attractive to the majority of women for example women either don't care about height or want a taller man but never a shorter man or women either don't care about money or want a rich man but never a homeless bum etc.

[Alli39]

Good lord what did I literally just tell you about my friends, both male and female? We're all nerds about something and we "hang around" just fine.

[Asker]

Anecdotal anecdotal anecdotal

[Alli39]

I mean yes? I'm using observational evidence. How else am I supposed to form opinions on a social phenomenon? But I'm really not sure what you're trying to achieve at this point. I've clearly stated that, while some level of physical attraction is generally required, nerdiness in and of itself objectively can be an attractive trait to women in its own right, the same way kindness, emotional intelligence, or honesty can be attractive. I can't speak for all women and I'm sure not all women even enjoy nerdiness as a trait for their partners. That said your original statement implies that nerdiness as a trait cannot be inherently attractive in and of itself, which I've refuted. It can be, but if you only have a singular trait that's attractive to an individual why are you a better fit for the person than someone else?

[Asker]

But i can use anecdotal too. Who's anecdotal evidence is correct? Im talking in the general sense. Meaning its consistent. In general women dont like typical nerdy guys because they're physically unattractive. That's all im saying

[Alli39]

And I'm saying that they don't have to be and plenty aren't, or at least aren't to the extent you're implying. But don't listen to a woman when she talks about what women want lol. That'd be outrageous. Regardless I think we've reached the limit of productive discussion so I'm going to leave this where it is. Have a good day 👋

[Asker]

Women dont know what they want when it comes to talking about it. But their actions know what they want

[provokeesmokee]

I don't know, I guess I'm a "nerdy" girl.

Thing is, as much as I enjoy anime, video games, boardgames, and books, I also enjoy combat sports and climbing.

I outpace most "nerd" guys and being able to keep up physically is a must for me.

I like nerds more than jocks, but I don't like men who make sweeping assumptons. So you're out of the running.

[inhua]

physical appearance will always take priority over hobbies and interests

no woman would give a shit about Henry Cavill if he looked like Jesse Eisenberg while still being nerdy. instead of comparing him to Superman, they compare him to Mark Cuckerberg from the Social Network

good thing Henry Cavill stands up for nerds and his nerdy fanbase whom the media loves to slander

[richardcory]

I assume there are women who like nerd guys just like there are guys (like me) who like nerd women. Nerds often enjoy each other's company - they can talk about things that interest them.

If the idea that most of the gold on earth probably came from colliding neutron starts isn't interesting to someone, I don't know what sort of things we could talk about.

[Kaamraj]

A nerd entails a stereotype of an unattractive frail male who is short, skinny, wears spectacles, avoids conflict and is timid. Also being a nerd almost always means lack of social skills. So these are all traits which point away from the traditionally biologically gifted male.

[ShesRad80]

untrue, sorry, me myelf, i only like nerds

[ShesRad80]

that means a guy who can talk about a range of topics, is smart, no just wearing the glasses is not enough nor a true nerd

[Asker]

You really wouldn't care how intelligent he is if he was the stereotypical nerd. You girls are full of it

[ShesRad80]

BS my mutal crush is a true nerd, you aren't a nerd so you have no clue

[ShesRad80]

and i graduated high school early at 14.

[Asker]

I can def distinguish actual nerds to the nerds that women actually like. doesn't take a genius to figure it out

[ShesRad80]

you can tell as soon as you speak with someone if they are highly intelligent thats a nerd someone who can speak about a vast array of topic, it knowledgeable. there is only one kind of nerd, you aren't it

[ShesRad80]

is knowledgeable** super easy in minutes to see what is what

[Asker]

That's if they're even given the opportunity to speak

[ShesRad80]

when you say nerds woman like? what's that mean? there is only one kind of nerd, the rest are posers and can't hold a conversation about anything. not only graduating early at 14, i am in healthcare full of actual nerds, meaning brains, intelligent men, that has no physical look. the people wearing glasses are just hipster doofuses. as for me mine are needed glasses yet have zero effect on my intellect

[ShesRad80]

i agree to some degree, some woman shut men out due to looks but claim to want nerds. those woman clearly are stuck on stupid and probably can't hold a conversation to save their lives.
i speak with everyone, however for dating again my preference is intelligent men and for me has no physical look

[Asker]

And women tend to like the posers 😂. Glasses alone isn't the stereotypical true nerd

[ShesRad80]

for the hipster it is what some feel is a nerd, posers are nothing more then frauds. again if you dont have the intellect or array of topic with knowledge to speak they are not a true nerd. seeing those meathead from the gym in glasses is a total joke and not in a goodway, does nothing to further their thought process in my eyes other then the word, d'uh lol

[Asker]

But those are the kind of nerds women like. Henry cavill is considered a nerd and a lot of women love that. But if Henry was a fat ass, double chin or scrawny looking guy who with glasses and freckles, women wouldn't give a shit

[ShesRad80]

not me, but i will say most yes. henry cavill is a boring he round talks if you listen to him, if we are talking actors i like elijah wood, he's smart and intelligent, has a lot to offer in a convo would be fun to talk late into the night with

[Asker]

The exception of course

[ShesRad80]

me or elijah? 🤣
he's not a sex symbol and you won't find him ever on a sexiest man alive cover which is a sad thing
but he's a great man

[_SillyShoes_]

Depends on what you mean by 'nerd', but generally speaking I like nerds.

But also, must be said, I am demisexual, so what attracts me way more is the brain than the physique.

[Asker]

What attracts me are the looks first and then i want to get to know the person more and see if we click. But if i dont find them attractive initially, it won't work. I won't care to know them as a person

[_SillyShoes_]

I get that, but I on the other hand, only really like a person I already get to know inadvertently - like a coworker (not a great idea, I know) or a friend, or someone I spent a lot of time with (hobbies, pastimes, etc.,...) - so looks don't really go into it that much.
Don't get me wrong - if they look nice it's a bonus for sure, but not a necessity per se.

[Asker]

In genenal most people work like that. They have to be attracted to you first and then personality kicks and all the other traits. That's human nature. You're an exception to the norm. Looks first to start the initial attraction and then everything else matters

[Shy_Steve]

Well Girls don't really like most Guys anyway, A lot of Girls easily go for a nerd but only if He wasn't Shy and reasonably Fit, But how many Guys would be like that?

Not many at all, So they are still ignoring at least 90% of Guys aren't they.

[PBandJ_Nerd]

And me: A nerd & dorky woman who would be happy to be with another nerd. lol

[Asker]

I know the kind of nerds you're not going to date

[PBandJ_Nerd]

Because like other people it comes to compatibility. And if we have similar interests or not.

[Asker]

And physical attraction

[PBandJ_Nerd]

There's more than physical attraction.

[Asker]

It starts with that

[Asker]

Without that, nothing else matters

[DenizLikesTennis]

I actually am 6"1, muscular/physically fit, stylish... the alpha male look... but it's only looks.

But the thing is, my personality is nerd-ish. I like to talk about deep topics, read a lot of books. I'd surprise anyone.

[Hinaaaaa]

Yeah I like nerdy guys cause they are somehow more intelligent than other guys but you can be a nerd without actually looking like a nerd

[Asker]

Stereotypical nerds are usually the true nerds

[Hinaaaaa]

But you can look attractive as well like by changing your dressing sense & all & still be a nerd.. like a nerdy guy going to gym having biceps but by nature he is a nerd

[Asker]

That's not a nerd though

[Hinaaaaa]

It can be though... it's not like a nerd can't go to gym or something

[Asker]

Yes but rarely thats the true nerd form. Most women aren't attracted to the true form

[gothbxtch]

disagree. everyone has different preferences, and you are aware that there are female nerds too, right?

[Asker]

Meh im going based on general preference. Fit, in shape, tall etc. But nerdy girls dont like nerdy guys. They like the attractive guy that again just happens to be a nerd

[BarryLiverstone]

People like physically attractive people. This isn’t rocket science.

[BasedBaeBecca]

Disagree. Nerds are often attractive in their own way. And being smart is sexy.

[Asker]

Im talking about the stereotypical nerd. The ones most women don't find attractive

[Boomchakalaca]

she's into mclovin for sure

[Nikki1989]

100% wrong. If you met my husband, you would know.

[Asker]

I dont wany to know what your husband looks like

[AviatorTom]

Disagree... women like nerds... cuz a nerd can fix anything the woman breaks ;-)😉

[Anonymous]

Yeah I guess. Some girls do prefer nerds, but they will usually pick the attractive nerd over the ugly one.

[Asker]

a lot of the quote hot nerdy giys aren't even true nerds

[Opinion Owner]

What do u mean?

[PointTaken]

Totally agree. They go for the looks rather than look for a nerd.

[Siri137]

I'm a nerd myself, so no, I don't agree.

[Asker]

Im a jock

[Siri137]

You have something in your jocks? Okay :D

[Asker]

No im a jock. Im the guy that bullies the nerds and girls see that and want to sleep with me

[Siri137]

Yeah, I'd never want to sleep with a bully (a. k. a. complete douchebag and criminal psychopath). If you tried that crap with me I'd crush your nuts, and that's no exaggeration or joke.

[Asker]

You may not want to but there's other women who will. The matthew effect is a real thing

[Siri137]

Yes, well those women are either stupid or desperate.

[Asker]

Then majority of women are stupid then

[Boomchakalaca]

Yea gotta be at least decent to look at

[Asker]

BOOM! ladies and gentlemen an honest woman

[LiamJHayden]

Girls are not monolithic in their tastes.

[SnowedIn]

Lmao.

[monghjay2]

100% agree