Should I date a guy with low self esteem?

[wicket]

Does it make sense dating a guy who has low self esteem issues? OR
Should I try to help them?
How can I help a guy with low self esteem?
Because nobody is perfect and some people just need a helping hand right?
So i just want to know in what ways can i help a guy like this?

P. S: i already tried complimenting him more often, having fun times with him, give him gifts etc and I've run out of ideas or should i just continue doing these stuff until it works?

YES!

NO!

[SinghSong]

From the sound of it, you're contemplating this, not because you feel any actual attraction towards the guy, but solely because you "want to help". Your motivation appears to be solely based upon empathy, and by extension, pity. And there's absolutely nothing that'll kill what little self-esteem he may still have left, more quickly, effectively and permanently, than you getting into a pity relationship with him, and choosing to become his 'girlfriend-substitute' out of pity for him, because of how sad, pathetic and pitiful he is in your eyes. DON'T. You know what'd really help though? If he's single, has low self-esteem, and he's getting down because he's alone and down on his luck when it comes to dating? You could help far more by being his wing-girl, pointing out those girls who look like they might be interested in him, or who are flirting with him right in front of him. Us guys can have a hard enough time spotting those subtleties even at the best of times- but when we've got self-esteem issues, and depression to boot? We're completely blind to it. Open his eyes to the girls who do actually find him attractive, and who actually look like they could be interested.

[wicket]

no i really do like him. i love talking to him and going out with him i know him for a very long time now and im just noticing that he has these issues. i want the best for him and i just thought i could help him a bit i guess

[StrangerMorrison]

I am a guy with low self-esteem, and I say you shouldn't. A relationship is not therapy.

[wicket]

so have u had any girlfriends recently how did they respond to this?

[StrangerMorrison]

I tried to make a relationship work, but it was also me who ended it. I felt like she deserved someone better than me and I know I didn't make her happy. I realized that a healthy relationship is only possible between healthy people. That doesn't mean you should abandon a partner during difficult times, but if you start a relationship, it should be a "Sure, why not?" kind of thing, not a "I need you or else I'll kill myself!" thing. Does that make sense? Friendship can cure self-esteem issues, but relationships only suffer from them.

[wicket]

so i guess i should just give him some space and time to sort himself out then

[StrangerMorrison]

Yes. It might sound harsh, but that's what I believe would be best.

[alice55]

Depend on you. Do you think you can do it? Be with someone who always put himself down, think he's useless, etc.. ?
Some people can't do it while other can, it's all a personal matter so hard to say. It's all how you feel it.
If you think you can do it and even help him then do it.

[Anonymous]

Emphatic NOOO!! 😱😱😱

[wicket]

lol may i ask why?

[Opinion Owner]

Cuz people who are not happy with themselves are more likely to drag you down than for you to raise them up. And like, clinginess. And potentially stalking.

It's fine to be friends and try to help a little, but don't get too attached, especially not romantically

[ImHere4You]

Whether you date or not depends on certain things. Anyone with low self esteem is hard. Do you have a lot of patience? People with self esteem issues have usually been suffering their whole lives. Maybe from bullying, not having friends or many other reasons. You shouldn't need to buy him gifts or compliment him all the time.

Just make sure he knows you love him. Spend time with him and have fun. It might take a lot of hard work but the closer you two get the better he'll feel.

If how he is starts to wreck your life and change who you are then it might be too much. You want to make his life better but you can't have him make yours worse. If you finally can't handle it then it's time to move on. If you can then just continue to try to work with him.

[fsu19]

Date him if you really want to but also know that dating someone like that can be frustrating. You can compliment them and they'll call themselves ugly the next day, and they pretty much expect you to leave them at any time. Dating someone with low self esteem can get pretty annoying

[ttelge]

Just to be real here, a SO with low self-esteem will usually suck the life out of you if you don't have an enormous amount of energy to add to the relationship.

[wicket]

Yh thats tru so basically it depends if the girl is willing and prepared to give their time energy everything into the relationships with no regrets. I guess if u have this strong mindset u can do it

[MrWolfman29]

As someone who has suffered with low self esteem and occasional depression, I can tell you you can help him if you are willing to put the work into the relationship. That being said, he needs to be willing to help himself as well. If you cannot be there to support him, then you should not do this to him as it will not work. If you do care for him, are willing to support him, and be there from him, you can help him overcome anything.

[WalterRadio]

What is the purpose? Are you going to use him as your research subject to write a paper?

If not, then I suggest not.

[wicket]

why do you think so?

[WalterRadio]

Because there is no end game that is a positive outcome.

If you get his hopes up and become a couple, then you realize he is not good for you and break up, he may commit suicide.

If you don't break up, you will realize he is not good for you, and then you will be unhappy.

Find someone that inspires you, not that makes you feel pity.

[wicket]

well said this is a good point thanks

[NyxQB]

he has to learn to love himself first. otherwise, he will only be using you as a form of valuing himself and never see you as any more. you can try to help him, but don't expect much out of am relationship with him

[Sakamoto-san]

For a guy with low self-esteem, nothing is more confident boost than having a gf! speaking from personal experience!

[wicket]

yh lol that's so tru tho

[Sakamoto-san]

Hell yeah girl! I mean just imagine if you have a girlfriend, YOU who is shy, not confident and even a bit weird, but the confident guy with a six pack abs and a mansion is single! Just imagine the confident boost

[SinghSong]

Even if that GF's only chosen to initiate a relationship with you, and to be your girlfriend, out of pity for you, and because she "wanted to help you with your self-esteem issues"? That wouldn't be a confidence boost for me- that'd be a confidence killer.

[wicket]

@SinghSong i actually really like this guy we've known eachg other from school from a while now i always have a great time with him but i just realized that he has some esteem issues. I want the best for him and want to help him i guess but i genuinly do like him

[independentman]

If he has low self esteem he thinks he doesn't deserve to date you or tp talk to you merely he would talk as friends, mostly that he is me, I did suffered from low self esteem and low self worth

[wicket]

So how did u overcome it

[independentman]

I improve it a bit but I still have more to improve. First I change my posture like my body is straigt with my head and eyes looking forward, my feets are moving outside rather then inside, I have a better job and last but not least I consider I need other things regarding my personality and knowledge rather then a girlfriend who I cannot force her to love me and it whom I can be still unhappy.

[independentman]

Do you think I did something bd regarding to my changes?

[wicket]

nope not at all im proud of u well done!

[independentman]

Thank you and I still want more

[Soremain]

At your own risk. But in general I'd never advice to go into relationship if you or the other person has low self-esteem (usually both have). Fix that first. Otherwise it will cause a lot of trouble.

[Mister2090]

it really depends on how much it affects you. as others said in the comments, if it sucks the life out of you, it's better to not engage in a romantic relationship with them.

[blitz968]

I'll be totally honest you can't help someone with low self esteem (opinion take with a grain of salt) people have to deal with shit like that on their own

[manhas]

You know the best things about such guys... they won't ever fucking bail on you.. the day he'll get comfortable , you won't even think about any one else

[BanterBlitz]

Don't date him because you will destroy him mentally when you break up with him. There are lots of ways you can help him though, just by taking an interest in him, having a laugh and just treating him like a human being.

[advaj98]

honestly at a point I was that guy with a low self esteem and I got dumped because I hated myself

[Regular1]

Yes. And you can build up his esteem by giving him many, many blow-jobs!

[Pimop95]

If you're willing to help him work on his confidence yes if not no

[Pizzalover101]

No you can't help a guy who has low esteem just date a guy who has confidence

[CT_CD]

Yes...

[Seppelson]

just ask him out

[Anonymous]

date him n help him