Hi all, I'm a straight woman in 30s and 2 weeks ago I started dating an ex collegue of mine, we used to work for the same company 7 years ago but we never actually met each other. We matched on Bumble and that's how it all started. Had a lot common topics, hobbies, sense of humour, mutual friends and old times to talk about. I always did find him attractive but never thought much of it, and once we met now it was just perfect. Since then we kept in touch every day and went on 3 very long dates. It all escallated pretty quickly, we had sex and we agreed to keep getting to know each other. Well, I did got to know him and I realized that he's a self-loathing guy with very low confidence that he hides in his jokes and looks. He is 35, has a good job, lives on his own, has friends, and he has a really good reputation from that company he we worked at. But for some reason he hates himself and is making that very obvious. He complains about silly things, he is insecure, jealous, and honestly quite selfish when it comes to being remotely interested in my day or my hopes and dreams, it's all about him; from where we go, what we do, what we listen or watch. We talked few days ago about it and he admitted he has a problem but that he's working on it, and now he pulled away. I don't know what to think about it because how can someone work on it? I'm not a therapiest but how does one go from selifsh to caring, and love someone when you don't even love yourself? I love myself very much and I believe I deserve all the greatest things, but that mindset took a long time to develop, and I was like 24 already when I got there. He ain't there yet. On the other hand, I don't know him well enough in his day-to-day life yet to judge if he could change, because I know some people sometimes just need to feel loved. It's early but I do care about him and compliment him a lot. And flirt a lot. But it isn't going good...
3 mo
Experiences on dating men with a very low self-esteem?
