Can a girl be too pure and innocent to get close to?

For some reason I always attract the bad boys and they are attracted to me. I look the party type but then they get to know me and I guess it's frustrating to them that I live at home, have never dated, and am a super nerd, pre-med. I guess their intentions are just flings or whatever but they are such good friends and although I'm innocent, I'm clever, and we have such great conversations...but then although they are kind to me and sweet (as well as their friends), they just distant away. Yet, these are the type of guys I keep falling for too.

I have other guys fall for me, but I just don't feel anything towards them nor have the personality connection.


Most Helpful Guy

  • Commonly, men in your age group have a one-track mind. That one track is sex, and if they don't think they can get it from you they will probably give up early. Not all guys are like this, but many of them are, especially 'bad boys.' You're doing well to be where you are right now, don't compromise yourself and your goals to try to land a jerk who will probably run off after he becomes bored with you. There are many men who would appreciate a young woman of your competence and ambition.

    So in summary the answer is: yes. You can be too pure and innocent to get close to, because most guys just want to get close to sleep with you. You'll find that the men who do sincerely try to get close to you (as you are) will be the ones who actually desire you in an honorable way.

    -Count D.

    • I guess I have to be patient. They are the type I in a few years they will have a more diverse track mind...

    • Show All
    • It's not that they have no hope. If they wake up one morning and decide they want to live a more meaningful life and they'll respect the women they're in contact with...great! Though it is a decision, not something you grow out of, and frankly...most men don't make that decision. Don't go waiting on any of these guys to change, because after people hit close to 18 their personal traits are set (mostly) in stone.

    • I guess I fall for their charm. Man, this sucks. I guess I'll wait to mature and appreciate what's true and kind inside and out...even if it isn't as flashy. =(

Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 5

  • I know I can't comment on your situation personally because it is almost certainly different.

    I have fallen for a shy girl before, and the main problem I had was telling if she was interested or not. I hung out with her and her friends for a while we talked a lot and I tried to seem interested, but because she was shy, she never really gave me a clear hint. I dropped a few myself to see if she would react, but I still couldn't tell if she liked me, or was just being friendly. I was afraid of being rejected, so I never really asked. I also wasn't sure how she would react. Eventually I faded out of the picture and moved on.

    Believe it or not, a lot of guys have self esteem issues, so it is hard to ask someone out, or if they like them if they aren't sure you do.

    • I think that happens with me sometimes but I'm sure it's not EVERY time. I wish you pursued the girl. As long as your not a creeper, most girls love the attention, and if they like you, you'll just open her up.

  • Stay away from the bad boys, you'll just get hurt.

  • yes

    • Why? Could you elaborate?

      A guy told his friend I was too innocent.

      he never said that to me, he seemed happy.

      he might have just been trying to something that was not insulting to me

      -he refused to answer him for 2 weeks.

      we dated for before I left

      he had liked me for quite a while

      &by the time I left he was mad

      because I stopped talking to him

      I thought mad- emotionally, not sexually

      I was worried about my work & myself

      I never get involved - because of work,

      but that is not INNOCENT

    • She can be if you're just looking to kill time.

  • :D good luck

  • I want to meet you! Girls say I'm too pure and innocent; I don't drink and I don't bend to peer pressure. I'm in college trying to become a Novelist or Comic Book Author and I too am working hard for my ambitions. I'm not looking to bone anyone because that would just side track me from my goal. But from my point of view, you're probably going to find the right guy by staying patient and pouncing on opportunities. Besides you can find that bad boy; just look for the good boys sometimes they've got a hidden bad boy somewhere.


What Girls Said 2

  • guys recognize that you are a good woman with a lot to offer, but they are in the mode of wanting easy sex and a good time and you won't provide that

    • I wish they knew it hurts me too. Neither of us gain haha.

    • :) they don't CARE if it hurts you- that's why the don't stick around...

      if the scenario os about the guys who just want sex even tho they know deep down you are awesome.

      -- its like if you are dying of thirst - you will not wait a few hours or days for the spring water that you would prefer if you had the frame of mind & patience to will go for the city tap* water...

      > A guy was so thirsty once, he drank white vinegar *

      Stay a spring lol they last longer - don't get corroded*

  • WOW you sound just like me, although I'm older than you. I am pretty naive myself and don't date much, nor am the party type. I also have many male acquaintances that I can talk to for hours with them also great convos, and I know they love me as a person, I've had some that have pursued me then stopped, I don't know if they give up, or I'm not sending the right vibes.

    I think it boils down to this: If you start off with being friends with a man and don't sleep wioth them, then naturally they gain a respect for you. This seems to be my problem and maybe yours too. Maybe these guys see you as a wonderful person they enjoy talking to and they don't want to ruin that.

    I hope others can comment and see what their perspective is.

    • I hope those perspectives helped you too... I feel like I'm waiting for no-one but I can't settle either. Well, I'm only 22...let's wait a bit. And I'm sure your not much older either. They say women who rush into relationships regret I let's be patient. =)