How many dates before sex?

[Anonymous]

In order for the girl to be respected, how long is she supposed to wait before she puts out?

[abond008]

I believe in marrige. Anyway you should put out anytime you want. If he is one of those alpha males, beef cakes douche bag players you are automatically a slut. If he is a reasonable man who likes you and has an iq over 30. Not a selfish prick than will see you as human and won't judge you even If you put out on day one. You are only a slut If you dont TaKe the chances of you being knocked up by a man and not knowing who the damn father is. You own it to the kid that you might have. Sex is NEVER with 0 risk ofnpregnancy.

[Cyfris]

try till hold out till the morning after the first night together. you will feel better about it and he will respect you more without losing interest.

[Asker]

Okay but if you've put yourself in the situation where you're in bed together, surely it's difficult to refrain. Sorry I've not done the start of a relationship for a really long time, hence the question lol.

[Cyfris]

setting clear boundaries is going to be a key concept for building a healthy relationship. You have the right to say when he ask you to stay over that you will stay over but you will not have sex with him. he will most likely try. but you will lose respect if you let him after saying you weren't going to. Anything in life worth having is worth working for. if the relation ship is worth having to him he will wait and most likely trust you more for sticking o your convictions.

[Asker]

So we've already had our 3rd date, where I invited him over and cooked for him. We watched a film and made out for a while. He tried then and I said I wasn't ready so I feel like I've already made him wait. He seemed to respect this but was very frustrated. (as was I). I feel as though I'd be ready the next time the opportunity arises.

[Cyfris]

Always trust your instincts. your the one in these situations not me. But i value a woman who makes me work for what I want more then i do one who gives me what i want.

[Asker]

Why is this?

[Cyfris]

I'm not sure why this is. Its a biology thing. Say you worked for years to buy your dream car and the day you bring it home you get a call from publishers clearing house... you just one your dream car so as you get home there in the driveway is the exact same car. you don't need two cars so you give one away.. which do you give away?

[Asker]

The one you've invested more time effort and money in. It's more valuable to you. But sex doesn't mean that people stop investing.

[Cyfris]

but it means they stop investing in getting that sex.

[Asker]

We've been talking a long time like 5 months ish, and I'm pretty confident he's not just investing in getting the sex. But on the other hand I don't know that for sure.

[Cyfris]

no he is not just invested in the sex at this point. but that does not devalue sex. If you feel it is the time it prolly is. but don't just let it happen. make him earn it trust me. he will appreciate it more when he gets it.

[Asker]

Hmmm. How do I make him wait without making it awkward?

[Cyfris]

just like i said. invite him over late for a movie, then ask him to stay the night but be clear if he stays you will not have sex with him that night. then in the morning as you wake up rub yourself on him touch it and game on. it will be awkward that night. he will most likely try it will be hard to take his hand out of your pants and wrap it around your body but if you do manage to pull this off it will be better in the end. and he will feel like he earned it and you won't have to feel insecurities that cause you to ask question on message board about when is the right time. by the way after whatever happens happens you have to tell me about it now... i feel like im invested in your relationship at this point... lol

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, I appreciate it. Haha I will!

[JulieXO]

Whatever makes you feel comfortable. I think a person should be respected for being able to decide what they want and acting upon it, rather than refraining from sex because of the fear of judgement from society.

[grumps0]

Go out with him for a month before you decide in my opinion

[Asker]

We've been talking about 5 months and going out a month and a half

[Analinda1999]

she should wait at least as many dates as the guy waits ;)

[Analinda1999]

obviously if heias having sex with you itd be crazy for him to judge you for that. reducing self respect to other peoples hypocrisy surrounding your sex life is not a good idea.

what i find funny is a lot of guys say like 3 dates. what difference does three dates make. its still right away. totally arbitrary.

[InfoBot]

I wouldn't worry about such social stigma. Do your own thing. Holding out on sex is no guarantee that you will achieve greater respect or that the guy you are seeing is more decent. He might just play the long game whilst having sex with other girls anyway.

[Chris1456]

it depends on how much you like each other and chemistry/attraction.

first date is way too soon unless you both agreed on a physical only relationship.

but if after the second date, you really got to know each other well and talked on being officially together, then maybe.
BUT the normal standard would be third date.

[20yearsolder]

That's totally your choice, if you're feeling it on the first date and want to do it, by all means go for it. I'm not one of these guys that says you have to wait till the 5th date, I think it's stupid.

[newbizmau]

There is no amount of days or time that can determine that. You are looking for social acceptance which has no place in your relationship. Look within for your own answers. Respect for yourself is all that ever mattered.

[Jouster]

Depends on how compatible you are and how comfortable you are with him. Don't set a time frame. When it feels right them it's time.

[dragau4]

Hard to tell depends on who you talking to but first one or second sure feel easy

[Anonymous]

Really depends on the guy, especially on their maturity level.

[Patriot357]

Three or four depending on how attracted you are with that person

[utterlyconfusedlol]

six is the answer to any question you could possible ask

[Darkyblue]

At minimum 2 I find but I guess this is up to everyones own preference

[es20490446e]

3 out of 4 dates that failed for me were before one month, so I would wait at least a couple of months.

[Anonymous]

generally, the rule of thumb, is at least three. however, it's just a rule of thumb, of course different people do different things

[DomNik89]

Respectable number is whatever your comfortable with. Some it's same night. Some the second date.

[searchraika]

Whenever she is comfortable. I wait until the 2 or 3 date.

[Philyouup]

between 1 and 100 doesn't matter as long as BOTH people are ready and willing..

[Names93]

WHENEVER YOU FUCKING WANT

[Groisu]

Whenever she wants to

[solennn]

1or 2

[TayfunK]

Beklemem

[Anonymous]

More than a few.