Why are girls attacked for expressing their desire to date a wealthy man?

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's any different from a guy expressing his desire to date a hot bombshell-type girl with xyz body type, xyz hair color, and xyz eyes. It sounds like it's a double-standard to me. Everyone has a right to go after his or her preferences as long as it's not the ONLY reason why you're dating them.
From an evolutionary biological standpoint, girls tend to seek out men who have the ability to provide and lead in order to increase their chances of survival, whereas men seek out the most fertile-looking women in order to keep reproducing.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Lets not throw out the term double standard. We can go down a very very long list of double standards women have. Personally I would point out that when a man expresses a desire for a woman with xyz traits they get shamed and accused of begin superficial by women so clearly this is not a double standard. As for why they get upset its because generally speaking it suggests heavily that you could not care less about the guy himself, your their purely for the money. No one wants to be used like that, just as women don't want a guy who is only going to be their when she is in peak condition and will abandon her the moment she stops being as attractive, men don't want a woman who will abandon him the moment something happens and he no longer has the wealth that he does. Other reasons are, because your judging them on wealth and ignore all other aspects of their being (same goes for why girls get pissed at guys who only care about looks), as well as being upset because they don't have that and thus get ruled out immediately, again just as women get pissed off at men who want a certain type of woman and they simply don't have that trait. Its not that difficult to surmise why people respond the way they do to such things.

[Asker]

I addressed all of that in my question summary.

Guys respond negatively when girls say that they want a man who makes X amount of dollars a year. They get called "gold diggers", "wastes of space", "bitches" etc... I personally have never seen a guy on here get cursed out for saying what his ideal woman is, whereas girls on here get insulted for expressing their desire for a wealthy guy. I can show you an example of this on here if you want me to.

There's nothing wrong with wanting women with xyz traits as long as you respect women who want men with xyz traits.

People are entitled to their preferences and if money/looks are important to them, they have a right to find someone else who fulfills that preference as long as it's not the ONLY reason why you're dating them.

Personality, physique, and money are extremely important in a relationship. You can't have one without the other.

[Asker]

That being said, if you're afraid that a woman will leave you for a man that has more money, you need to look for a girl who wants more than just money; such as a good personality, intellect, maturity, etc...
I would say the same to a woman who is afraid that her husband will leave her when she becomes older and her looks fade. Find someone who cares more than just beauty.

[hellionthesagereborn]

If you have never seen a guy get mistreated for having a preference then you haven't been paying attention, at all. We get told that we have "unrealistic beauty standards" for women, but then those same women turn around and tell us we nee to be over 6 feet tall (above average height) or we are undatable. We are told we are shallow if we don't like fat women/skinny/flatchested/flatbutt/busty/big butt/athletic/not athletic/etc. etc. women. Both on here and in media. I honestly feel like your not being upfront about this, we all know that this happens, it happens non stop in every part of our lives, its really hard to miss. And again, people don't like the extremes, I think most guys understand a woman wants a guy who has money, its the fact that women want a "wealthy" man meaning she doesn't want good enough thus showing she only cares about the money. Just like a guy who refuses to date a woman because she is not perfect, its kind of a scummy thing to see people as objects.

[hellionthesagereborn]

As for what I want, well I'm not arguing with you, I'm just telling you why people react the way they do. I know biology, I understand the biological drive women have to want a provider just as I understand a mans biological drive to want an attractive woman (more likely to survive child birth, good genetics to pass on to offspring etc.). I'm not arguing that these don't have an important function, what I am saying is if you want a guy who is filthy rich vs. a guy who can be a good provider but isn't rich, then you probably only care about the money and what that tells a man is that if he ever stops making that money, if things start getting difficult then you will absolutely without hesitation abandon him. Its no different then how women don't want to be used just for sex because no one wants to put that much energy and effort and investment into something only to lose it all. Its the extremes that people care about.

[Exarion251]

Depends on the individual women and her perspective to money. But if she'd ask what job I have within the first five minutes for no apparent reason, that is an absolute no-go. If money for a girl means 'hey we can do more fun stuff together, work less and spend more time on the things we love' fine. But if money means 'whoooo finally I don't have to do my job anymore. And I can afford this and that now😎' this is a definite no-go.

The thing is, if money is very important to you and a life goal, then I know I will be dumped as soon as I my money is gone.

You can call it evolution. Someone without much money can look like you described above and some filthy rich guys look like your every day guy. Evolutionary would be of you looked for dominance for example. But assessing numbers on bank accounts and credit cards is hardly evolutionary. I'd call it cold rational this for that and maybe even greed. The perspective on money comes from how your were brought up in that regard.

Oh... by the way I got myself a Finnish girl who is the luckiest person if you give her something that costs 5$ and makes me feel bad for everything more expensive I give her 😂

[Asker]

I think most women who want to marry rich dudes are traditional in a sense of "I want someone to provide for me, take care of me, and spoil me." which I don't think there's anything wrong with as long as she's bringing something to the table; even if it's not financial. Honestly, who wouldn't want that? That being said, if a woman is dating a guy ONLY for money, then she's pretty shallow and materialistic. I would agree that she is a no-go.

But, if a woman is attracted to a man with resources along with a good personality, similar interests, etc... I don't think it's inherently wrong for admiring the fact that he's wealthy on top of the other things she likes about him. As someone who grew up living on government assistance, I could understand why money may be important to someone. It takes more than just love to make a relationship work. You can't really have one without the other if money is important to you.

[Asker]

I would say that assessing numbers on bank accounts gives someone a good idea of whether or not you'd be a good provider; just like assessing a woman's breasts, long hair, and buttocks gives someone a good idea of whether you're fertile or not. At least that's how evolutionary biologists would explain it to be.

[Exarion251]

Yes, I do agree with you that there is nothing wrong with enjoying money. However, I do think if my bank account is of any interest too quickly, I am not chosen because of looks or character, but because I might be bearable as long as I pay.

With the evolutionary thing I do to some degree agree. Yes, a rich looking guy is attractive to many. However, you can look rich but still earn 30k and not 90k. The process of looking into bank accounts is far too abstract to treat it as a evolutionary criteria of attraction since that happens in a split second. Falling for a guy in a fancy suit and a big car might be evolutionary, looking into a bank account, thinking about it for minutes, hours our days is a completly different cold and rational thought process.

[Exarion251]

I personally don't see myself as a provider. It's the twenty-first century, women now have equal rights, I expect them to do something with it. In all honesty something like 'awww you can't provide for yourself because you're a poor little girl, here have some money' would feel like belittling my partner. I wanna say 'we worked hard, we deserve this, let's enjoy it together'. But paying for looks? I might as well call that what it is, me paying for prostitution and a girl humiliating herself and her skills.

Cheers

[Asker]

Nothing wrong with being modern as long as you respect people who have traditional views. I want a knight-in-shining armor type of guy who takes pride in taking care of his woman and his family. That being said, I don't think there's anything wrong with you wanting a Ms. Independent.

You should do what you believe is right for you.

[Exarion251]

Glad we are both tolerant 😅 I wish you the best of luck with your search 👍

[Anonymous]

Men want to have their cake and eat it too. They want to judge women based on their so called "sexual market value", but as soon as that "perfect 10" has standards that they don't meet, they get angry.

[Unit1]

Have MGTOW or the superficial boys got the best of you 🤔?
I mean have they made you a little bitter?

[Opinion Owner]

@Unit1 I was talking in the name of most men on this site. 😂
Honestly, I like to call them out on their bullshit then see them react to me with insults directed only at my looks, not even knowing how I look like. :"")

[Opinion Owner]

@Unit1 but the men in her question do fall under the MGTOW and superficial boys categories.

[Unit1]

Ah, i see what you mean 😊
I'm having the same amusement as you do not only with superficial men but also superficial women.
Anyway don't let me stop you from calling out the boys on their BS 😎
At least you're not bitter 😊
I was figuring the MGTOW and superficial boys fall into such categories. All they get from it are probably mostly gold diggers anyway. Two of the same kind meet each other. No problem 😀

[Opinion Owner]

@Unit1 I agree that they were made for each other. 😂👌
by the way, now I will seem a bit stalkerish (I'm not, I have just used this site for years 😅), but I actually enjoy reading about your insight as a former MGTOW. :)

[Unit1]

That's so good to hear 😊 you're not a stalker. You just follow what i write 😀
Whoever hides behind this anonymous mask, you are interesting ☺

[Opinion Owner]

@Unit1 thank you very much. 😅😊
Maybe we will encounter each other on different posts. :)

[Unit1]

I just don't know who you are 🤔 i think i won't be able to see you again if you're anon.

[jennifer_bloom]

I know rich guys who are open to dating me - may not be very serious but they are willing to give me a chance. I would rather date a guy I am attracted to who makes less money.

[Unit1]

Here's the thing: Bodily features are out of our control as is our financial state in early life. If i could i would want to be born more robust, stronger, better "meat-armored", free of chronic diseases, more energetic and in a family with better financial state.

Both bodily features and financial states are kind of equally shallow in their own ways when you are looking for dates.
Because it's just the rich sugar daddies picking up on gold diggers, who look the best in their eyes and most fertile. Both groups feed into each other.

[Asker]

Well sugar daddying is a whole different story. That's pretty much a sex-based transaction. I'm talking about life partners who want to be together long-term. Obviously, there needs to be more than just looks or money in order for the relationship to last. Especially since looks fade. However, money and physical attraction are very important in a relationship.

[Unit1]

What exactly is your point?

Ja, looks fade, a job can be lost, retirement is a thing and then what's left? If the relationship continues then what's left is true love, which is almost extinct.

[Ivan01]

I think the problem is that most wealthy men are known to be dishonest, superficial, professional inheritors, etc. There are relatively few of them that have earned their money themselves in honest ways, value the fruits of their work and have some kind of moral code and spirituality. When girls claim their want to date a wealthy man, the image of wealthy man in the imaginary is not a desirable one, so it's normally understood that you're only interested in money an luxurious stuff, being the man a means for that end. Also in this awfully patriarchal society, a man also will be attacked for claiming that he wants to date a rich woman. Basically, society sucks

[Onidandal]

When will people accept that everyone is shallow? Money exudes power, which is honestly the most shallow thing a person could be attracted to, because the relationship becomes a series of transactions. Looks are definitely shallow, and both men and women want someone who looks good. Looks fade, and you're left with whether or not you feel emotional connection to them. Money dwindles, and the same rule applies. Emotional connection will never be as important as the superficial stuff. Men and women have their gripes about superficiality. Go onto any feminist site, and they'll bash guys who dont prefer fat women while looking for the hottest guy. Men complain about women who only use them for money instead of character, and they go for the prettiest woman. We're all pretty crappy, aren't we?

[10dsw]

Yea... I mean I agree... it is an evolutionary trait. But deep down women like this are shunned because it's simply not feminine. You can fight the stereotype all you want but the most attractive women are women who fall in love with men for men. And not men for their money.

The other reason is because these relationships are usually pretty parasitic (I mean... assuming you're talking about like a 22 year old dating a 45 year old rich dude)

[Asker]

Nothing wrong with young/old relationships as long as you're not dating him just for the money, but because he's mature, intellectual, wise, etc...
Money is important in a relationship just like physical attraction is very important in a relationship. You should go after what makes you happy. Not what society says you should do.

[Buckzor]

I agree. As long as they're not in it just for the money, ie thinking they'll be able to buy what they WANT (not need), and when they want it if they're with the guy.
Also depends if they really have an emotional connection with them or not, which is going to be hard to find out as women (and men) can act for their benefit.

[GingerGuy]

I see your point (s), the problem is we don't know (and can't for sure) that this is the reason (s). It just looks like on the surface that it's all about money for you, and it's hard not to see it as that. Especially if you're vocal about specifically wanting that in a partner.

[GingerGuy]

But it's the same with guys and sex. A lot of women assume because we do want it, that it's ALL we want, and that's not necessarily the case with some guys. I think women just assume it sometimes.

[TomatoBoy]

Because men want to be judged by their character not wealth

Also men dont really systematically date women for material gain. When we start expecting women to do the same we get disappointed.

You are right, its your nature to seek the guy who can provide the most. So let them hate lol

[Meninist]

Because guys are attacked for wanting to date a hot-bombshell type.

Men would be told “you’re only with her for the sex” like women get told “you’re only with him for the money”

To many, many people it comes across as fake love.

[Asker]

I wouldn't attack someone for wanting to date a hot-bombshell type as long as that's not the only thing he's looking for in a woman. Let's be honest, no one wants ugly people. It just seems hypocritical that guys would go off on a girl and tell her all kinds of insults simply because she expresses her preference for rich dudes.

[Meninist]

Welcome to the world of dating. It’s FULL of double standards.

[SnapTsch]

Its fine as long as wealth isn't the prerequisite for it.
If nothing else matters if he is not wealthy then that is a gold digging behavior
If wanting a wealthy man is one of the things looking for in a partner then it is fine

[HappyWheels]

Because they're attracted to the guy's wealth, not the guy himself. Those sorts of ladies will drop him once he is bled dry.

[Asker]

Most wealthy dudes aren't 'bled dry" if they manage/invest their money well. Plus, money is very important in a relationship just like physical attraction and personality is important in a relationship. You can't have one without the other, at least for most people. As someone who grew up on government assistance, I know how hard it is to depend on someone who makes no money at all. It's depressing and stressful. So I could understand why someone would end a relationship if they have no money left, especially if they were used to a particular lifestyle.

[GetFragged]

Because one is being attracted to the person themself. The other is being attracted to their money. Is it that hard to understand.

[Asker]

Being attracted to physique has nothing to do with who the person is.

[GetFragged]

Yes it does. It's part of the person

[Asker]

Physique is superficial. It's exterior.

[GetFragged]

It's exterior but still a part of the person

[Asker]

It still has nothing to do with the person itself. Beauty can be achieved with plastic surgery and a crew of beauty experts so anyone can be beautiful. Plus looks tend to fade over time.

[GetFragged]

People have bodies. A body is part of a person. But I kind of get your point.
The thing is people do shame guys for being shallow and only wanting a hot girl. I mean look at all this anti "fat shaming" stuff going on and "don't objectify women"

People talk shit about gold diggers because they don't just want a comfortable life, they want to live like queens and often times don't offer anything to the relationship besides their looks and vagina.

It doesn't matter if other people do or don't say something about their specific dating preferences. It doesn't remove the fact that being a gold digger is wrong. You are basically saying if a guy loses his job or went bankrupt that you wouldn't love him anymore which is sad

[muttley]

I fully agree with you, it's your choice. On who? You want to date.

[false]

exactly.
i want to date a new hoe every single day to "keep reproducing"😉 and there's nothing wrong with that

[GirlsFlirtWithMe]

Because people think the dating is for the money. Aka being a golddigger.

[Internetusername]

It just seems gross to like anyone for money since it means you like what they have and literally has nothing to do with who they are as a person. I don’t like anyone dating anybody for money.

[Anonymous]

the same reason men are attacked for expressing their desire to date a supermodel

[Asker]

I just explained that in my summary and I stated that there's nothing wrong with that as long as it's not the only reason you're dating that person.

[Opinion Owner]

then explain tom brady

[Asker]

What about Tom Brady?

[Opinion Owner]

gisele, seems like an airhead to me

[Opinion Owner]

he's rich, and famous

[Opinion Owner]

but she's a supermodel

[Asker]

He might like other facets of her personality besides her thin and tall figure. But, she's rich and famous too. So there might be some financial interest there on his part.

[Opinion Owner]

anyway, point is, he cheated on her. he's a cheat in the game, and a cheat in life.. thats my point

[Asker]

I didn't knew he cheated on her... With who?

[Opinion Owner]

it never came out, but, he def. cheated

[Anonymous]

Well if I wanted to be a pig and just use her and move on, because that's likely what would happen!!

[Guyofallguys2]

Guys are "attacked" for wanting hot women though.

[Guyofallguys2]

It's mostly because men are jealous. We think it's unfair that something that we can never achieve is considered more attractive than anything we can.

[Guyofallguys2]

And women who are only in it for the money are generally stupid people.

[Asker]

I agree that women who date ONLY for money are stupid, but so are men who are willing to marry a woman just because she's hot and doesn't have anything else to offer.

That being said, I think everyone has a right to pursue their preference and do what makes them happy. I agree w you in that people who have something negative to say about preferences are just jealous.

[legendaryintrovert]

Lol. They pay for it.

[carlsgold]

If the money has not gone to his head , why not