My boyfriend fell asleep while I was venting. Should that be a red flag or?

[Anonymous]

READ BEFORE COMMENTING YOUR JUDGMENT.

So I rarely vent to my boyfriend. But today my mom and I witnessed my brother getting pulled over for drunk driving. I also found out my older brother was actually adopted (I’m 20 and I’m barley finding out). Still i see him as my brother.

Well anyways my boyfriend has been working a 7am shift. It was 11:30 ish when I was talking to him about it over text (I couldn’t call cause my parents were arguing). Well anyways my dad pulled me away from my mom to talk about my brother actually not being my brother. An hour later , my boyfriend texted back. Last thing he told me was “I’m all ears.”

On on the other hand, I’ve always tried staying up for my boyfriend when he needed to vent. I nearly pulled all-nighters just for him and he... just fell asleep on me. (Or so I hope).

Anyways, I just want to make sure this isn’t a red flag and weather or not I should let him off the hook for it.

Thanks in advance.

Updates

+1 y

Oh and he works at a gas station

[PeekABooItsMe]

... my boyfriend is an apprentice at Bentley and he's aaaaalways tored as he has to get up at 5:30. If he accodentally falls asleep i don't get abnoyed anymore as i loved with him and his family for 4 days so i saw first hand how tired he was before and after work.

He fell asleep on you, oh well. I say get over it hun, i'd pull all nighters if my boyfriend needed me, but then again he'd pull all nighters if i needed him.

[Wonderer89]

It happens, getting up early for work sucks and it’s late. Waiting for someone to text their long problems isn’t exactly riveting and if he was really tired it’s understandable he would fall asleep.

A red flag is a warning to look for bigger signs of trouble. Being human and falling asleep late at night after being up since early AM isn’t one.

[Asker]

thanks :)

[Wonderer89]

Thanks for MHO x

[witherwing]

Sometimes there isn't anything you can do to stay awake. I don't think it's a red flag at all. He was interested in what was bothering you, but because waiting for a text isn't really an active stimulant, it's easy to fall asleep while waiting if tired.

[Asker]

thanks :)

[EmmaMary]

I think I probably fall asleep as well especially if I had to be up that early in the morning.

[Asker]

Makes sense
Thanks!

[GingerGuy]

Let him off the hook. It happens. And quickly whether you want to or not lol. I've had girls fall asleep on me and vise versa. When you're tired, you're tired and that's a long day. Don't over analyse and let it go. Is this the first time or does he show lack of interest in general? If not, don't worry about it.

[Asker]

Thank you!

[Edanurus]

Yeah I don't see any problem with it. Long day working, and it was late. Don't see why you should hold it against him it's not like he just thought sod it I'm going to sleep.

[Asker]

yeah I was just a little mad he fell asleep but im over it. Thank you :)

[Edanurus]

Yeah that's understandable too.

If you need to have a rant and it's a possibility he'll fall asleep do it over the phone. It's harder to fall asleep and if he did you could shout at him to wake him up. Plus your not waiting for a reply getting yourself more wound up.

[lightbulb27]

so you were talking on text or the phone?

texting... that is your problem don't complain.

phone... different matter.

but it is a flag that... he doesn't hold his boundary for his needs to sleep and that you don't regard his need. vent tomorrow.

It's just a flag, nothing more.

ps a lot of guys don't know how to handle venting so have to learn...

sorry to hear of the chaos, that would cause challenges to what you think and feel, hope you all get through it in a positive way.

[InfoBot]

Straight out of an episode of Friends:

media1.tenor.com/.../tenor.gif

[Asker]

Lol what episode is this?

[InfoBot]

It was the episode where Rachel wrote a long ass letter explaining all her feelings about Ross cheating and he fell asleep while reading it, lol.

[KingDio]

Sounds like long distance yeah? And different time zones? Its not a red flag as he could been tired but same time he could of told you that he was too tired and for you to vent another time

[Asker]

No we’re not long distance. He did say he needed to sleep but then after I told him he said he was all ears

[Asker]

So yeah I guess I’m in the wrong here?

[KingDio]

So same time zone and should be sleeping when you sleep, whats he's work may i ask?

[KingDio]

Not necessarily you are in the wrong as youve heard all he's shit only fair for him to hear yours

[Asker]

Gas station. He just does car washes or cashier

[Asker]

He doesn’t go to school. Legit all he had was work today.

[KingDio]

That doesn't sound exhausting too much so bit slack on he's end falling asleep on you

[KingDio]

Definitely you're not in the wrong you just wanted someone close to talk to

[Asker]

thanks :)

[Goochbreaker]

1130 at night or in the afternoon? I mean you were texting him, you weren't actually there, so it's not that much of a red flag.

[Asker]

At night

[Goochbreaker]

pffft that's not a red flag at all you weren't even there and it's 1130 and he got up early as hell for work

[Goochbreaker]

when you're really tired it's hard to control falling asleep, especially if you are by yourself, lying down texting. It can happen at any time! Totally not a red flag, he probs had to get up at 530 for that 7am shift no shit he fell asleep

[Asker]

He works at a gas station... no school nada
Still?

[Goochbreaker]

okay now it sounds like you just don't want to date him. You should do him a favor and end it immediately.

[Asker]

No it’s not that at all. I’m just mad he fell asleep on Me.
I like the guy a lot lol

[Asker]

oh and thanks for answering :)

[Goochbreaker]

yeah long and short of it, the fact that you are even asking if you should break up with him worries the shit outta me and if I was the guy reading this take I would break up with you preemptively for even suggesting such a thing.

[Kenni]

So the question is "is it a red flag if my boyfriend is tired after working all day"? Hmm good question

[Kenni]

Talk to him about it the next morning. And then if he falls asleep that'd be a concern😂

[Asker]

😂lol no he didn’t actually but thank you!

[TechniCarl]

He could of just got busy at work because it is tiring I should know I work in one

[Asker]

thanks :)
And yeah I understand. Like I said I'm just a little mad he slept on me but I'll get over it

[TechniCarl]

I don't think it's a personal thing because I always do it to my girlfriend

[JulieXO]

You can’t help it sometimes. I’ve fallen asleep in the middle of typing a sentence before.

[Asker]

thanks :)

[Davecamaro]

It sounds like he wanted to but fell asleep before he could listen.

[Asker]

thanks :)

[Anonymous]

Lol at the guys saying break up with him. Yeah two months after your break up you realize how stupid you feel breaking up because he got tired, waiting to listen to your problems.

[Asker]

Thanks lol

[RolandCuthbert]

This is why I know I am not a feminist.

I find this hilarious!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rj0p7s-y7_Q

[Asker]

I'm no feminist either but glad I made someones day lol

[Asker]

😉 also finding this funny doesn't make you a feminist 🤔 I dont know what the definition of feminist today is but sometimes I feel like the the idea of tooic is overanalyzed. So as much as I believe in women's rights, I'm not a feminist either

[jrallen175]

It happens, alone, laying down, long day... let sleeping men lay

[Asker]

I did and thanks !

[Anonymous]

not a red flag... what is a red flag though is if you make a big deal out of this to him. so don't do that

[Asker]

I won't. Ans thank you :)

[lostgirl_searching]

He probably didn't mean to fall asleep on you. I don't think it's a red flag.

[Reem12345reem]

I used to promise my ex boyfriend to chat at night and then I would fall asleep but that didn't mean I wasn't interested in him or didn't care , I just wanted to sleep

[CT_CD]

What an inconsiderate douchebag. Break up with him immediately

[Asker]

lol can't tell if you're trolling

[CT_CD]

I don't troll

[SuccessfulHornDog]

Omg leave him alone. Let him sleep

[Asker]

I did and thanks lol

[yaheardd18]

He was probably extremely tired

[Wakadoodle]

Yep - women ramble all the time. If you could spend less time 'venting' and more time fixing up a good sandwich, perhaps the dude wouldn't fall asleep.

[Asker]

Interesting.

[mwinters1998]

If it was me I'd vent at him for it. If he falls asleep then, yea that's when you tell him to do one

[themaskedx]

Yes! You must vent a lot

[Asker]

i really dont lol my life is good. This just happened once

[themaskedx]

Then maybe he was just tired either way that's not really a red flag you should have just covered him with a blanket and continued your vent after breakfast

[Asker]

thanks :)

[Smegskull]

Over text? No.

[Asker]

thanks

[asdf3626]

Well you must be a boring ol girl. So of course he went to sleep. Lol

[Asker]

thanks person who doesn't know me in person.., or troll. XD
Whatever you are.

[Revolver_]

Break up with him, he works at a gas station

[Asker]

lol he's a sweet guy. He plans on leaving to the army so nah
I like him tons

[Asker]

I'm just mad he fell asleep on me

[Revolver_]

Interesting