How far do you go on a first date?

Question

AntoGrayo · Accepted Answer

Not gonna beat around the bush or lie as honesty is a big thing in life! Also we're never going to meet so what do I care what you think of me.

Anyway, when I get a date with a girl, nine times out of ten my objective is sex. That one other time I'll be madly inlove with the girl and I'll be to scared to hold her hand in case she thinks we're moving to quickly.

That being said, just because my main aim before the date was sex doesn't mean that I'm going to lose interest in the girl if she has no plans of letting loose on the first date, in fact quite the opposite.

Chances are if I sleep with a girl on the first date, then I'm going to lose interest because there was no substance and no journey to get there (it was just meaningless sex). But if a girl holds out till a few more dates (let's say 3) then it's going to last a lot longer [the relationship], because you have spent sometime getting to know eachother and this way you won't avoid eachother the next time you see each other because it won't be awkward, it will be real.

All that being said, ladies, don't hold out forever. I once stopped dating a girl because it had been like 3-4 weeks and she wasn't worth the wait. Playing the long game like that is meant for later in jn life when you get closer to marriage.

I'm young, I'll date for a while, but marriage is a little ways off for myself. Bible finished.

Dargil · Accepted Answer

The first date is really just a decorated interview. Fact finding for deciding if there will be more. Guys are easy. We will generally just take what is offered. Girls (should) have a higher bar. But the deal should be understood by the third date. Then increasing intimacy should START. Making out, hand holding in public. Dry caressing. Clothes coming off seals the deal and intercourse, later, like the 10th date, rewards staying with it beyond the patience of predators.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

Usually not far haha. With my ex, he hardly got a kiss. With my current it was complet opposite 🙈 we were in line waiting for the rides and he gripped my waist and my body got the chills. Then he pulled my booty back to him and i grinded against him, getting him all hard in line. He kissed my neck then reached around for my lips. I pushed him down onto the rail and climbed onto his lap, wrappinng my legs around him. We didn't care the whole line was watchin 😂🙈 then he whipped my tit out and started suckin on it 😛 i reached in his pants and started jerking him off haha. This was a one of a kind first date

TisforTori · Accepted Answer

I never had even kissed before a third date until my fiancé. We met online we were a couple thousand miles away from each other. We spoke constantly really getting to know each other. Before I knew it I considered him a best friend and hated to go a day without talking. We finally got to meet after 3 1/2 months. We went out for dinner drinks, dancing and swam in the pool. We were already in love and made it that first night.

Halligan · Accepted Answer

I might have maked out... I’ve only dated 2 guys in the last 11 years and married both of them. With my husband, he hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. I was 4 years celibate at the time. I just stood there in shock. We joke he broke me. We held hands and kissed second date... sex came a while later and was not planned.

laurieluvsit · Accepted Answer

You don't want to know! ... lol

jennifer_bloom · Answer

I would say a kiss on the lips but no tongue at all.

Investigator · Answer

The last time I was on a date, we had sex on the first night. Granted, it eventually turned into a short-term fling, but the point is I'll go as far as she wants to. With her consent, of course. This SHOULD go without saying, but thanks to all the recent sexual assault allegations and convictions in the news these last couple of years, I feel the need to add this. Especially in this day and age, you can never be too safe. I already have enough problems in my life, I don't need "accused of rape" on my record *cough* Aziz Ansari *cough*.

Having said that, if she's up for sex, make like Shia LaBeouf and just DO IT.

Jjpayne · Answer

Well, i'm aiming at sex after marriage. That being said, it depends how the date goes.

I might aim for a kiss, depending on the moment. NOt a makeout kiss, just a kiss

It might seem lite to some people but really a kiss is a pretty intimate thing

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MScifiwriter · Answer

I haven't gone a first date or been on a date in years and I've changed a lot since the last time I've been a date. So I'd say, depending on how well me and the potential girl got along, maybe a hug and a small kiss.

But then I'm not one to rush things, I like to let things occur naturally. I'm more interested in building a friendship and relationship with my future girlfriend. Versus simply "getting it on" as it were.

Also, the reason I haven't dated in years, is that I put a lot of effort into getting my degree, then my job, and writing. So finding a girlfriend in my free time, tends to take a back seat. I definitely would like to go on first dates (or a first date), but I figure that will happen in it's own time.

sparklefairy · Answer

As far as the other person wants lol what is this like the movie grease where you have to like approach each other like the opposite sex is aliens and you have to tell your friends every tiny detail about your close encounter? No lol just fuck sex is great don't be a Fucking prude

wingattebaby16 · Answer

well... depends on the guy.

if the chemistry is there, at least a kiss, and if the kiss is great, making out...

I have had sex many times on a first date coz all the indicators are there...

dont knock it until you try it...

Most my bfs have told me I have "demonic sex needs". My therapist says that is why I go after sex on a first date...

both a curse and a blessing (at O time).

pocahontas · Answer

It depends on my connection with the person. If there is no connection then that date is going nowhere. I have had sex on the first date. I am an adult woman and a sexual being. I have dinner on dates with the intention that that's all I wanted. I don't have time to play games. I feel if both person's are honest about their intentions then it won't matter how far you go or not.

AndyGillard · Answer

I won't go any further than a hug and kiss goodbye/night. No matter the circumstance. From my experiences it has always worked well in terms of transitioning threw the next stages into a realationships.

I think most woman appreciate that, even ones I've been with who both wouldn't have an issue doing more/ and enjoy doing so.

Xasildo · Answer

I always expect a first date to be a chance to get to know a person, so I always have the expectation that it's going to be on par with going out with friends. Usually we go to the movies, but I always recommend people take their first dates to a fair or a carnival as it gives them a chance to show their fun sides

MrMysteryMan · Answer

Depends how sexually attracted we are to one another. I usually go with the woman's lead on dates. but I've been on dates that were just "first initials", to ones that exploded sexually between us. I don't put to many expectations or rules toward first dates. Why bother? It usually gets in the way of openness and honesty because you're holding back in some form.

NicoletteKomotov · Answer

Depends. Some guys I might give a hand job if it's convenient, others a BJ, and others, if he's really hot, well, you know.

Blonde401 · Answer

I hope to get a kiss. I’ll go for sex if we’ve known each other a while prior to going on an actual date. tbh if there’s no kiss I would assume he isn’t into me.

dsaar · Answer

I've had from nothing to all the way and everything in between. It all depends on the person you're going with. The only reason I even ended up having sex on the first "date" was because I had already been friends with that person for 2 years. We basically got to the date part knowing we we're very interested in each other. I'd say unless you already know the person, you shouldn't be expecting more than a kiss on the first date.

ilove4pla · Answer

Well I go as far as a hand shake never, never, never have sex on the first date, and I will explain why. A first date you know more or less if there will be a second date ok. So say I like her I am going to want to see her again now if we have sex I am going to ask myself how many times she had sex on the first date , which I don't want to know, now say I am not feeling her and I don't think she is for me but yet she wants to have sex but in my mind I know I am never going to see her again so I am not going to make her feel like shit when she here's from me on Monday telling her that I appreciate her time and wish her the best of luck after I just had sex with her on Saturday.. Hell nah homie don't play that not my style.

Rob199 · Answer

Just kissing i dont let any broads in my pants unless i love them.

MAGABeard · Answer

Why buy the cow, when the milk is free?
Courtship, flirting, patience - after all it's "a date" not a one-nighter.

Provided you have found your true love (or just a romance) you always have the trendy, but foolhardy option of f*ckn his/her brains out, too

“It’s the ones that play hard to get that are the sweetest prey.”
(Gaston - Beauty and the Beast: late 18th century French prose)

Nexovous · Answer

Hahah, never even had a first date yet. So, that said I think I would wait it out and if I like the girl enough sex would be in order. Simply because i've yet to experience that and I would prefer to have a connection to the woman in some form or fashion.

Dreku · Answer

Eh, try to judge, if you make a move dont be to forward with it, I've both been on many conscutive "dates" and taken it very slowly at her obvious want to do so, and then on the other hand once met a lass Walking across a field, walked to the beach and within an hour was back at her place making the beast with two backs, take this things as the situation reads and go with the flow

twotimestwo · Answer

I've ended up going all the way on a few first dates, but I always let the woman lead. The others that didn't go there, well, I would only go as far as a hug and a kiss on the cheek or forehead. One time I did that and she turned around and kissed me on the lips. Nobody seemed to mind a hug and kiss on the head or cheek. If the woman wants more, she'll let you know for sure!.

TotallyNotJosh · Answer

As far as it goes if you don't expect anything you won't lose anything and what happens happens unless you don't want them to in which case you decline, I wouldn't really put a bar on how far I'd go because it depends on many factors and feelings that both of us would have and every first dates different so eh

ripebanana · Answer

The lengths of my relationships seem to relate to how far we went on the first date. My best/longest relationships were the ones where we had sex on the first date while the ones where we only kissed never led to a second date.

Maybe it's something about me but so far sex on the first date seems to be most ideal.

moosette134 · Answer

I used to think I’d never been kid on the first date but some dates are just that good. If I’m connecting with someone and I’ll feel comfortable, I’ll kiss and maybe even cuddle a little. Nothing more than that, and that won’t happen with everyone, but some people you just click fast with and I’m like, why not? A kiss is not a contract, but it is a good indicator that a second date is in order.

NatePsychologyMajor · Answer

He goes as far as she allow him to. If she is ok with it going somewhere then ok, if not then it's rape. Is trying to go to second or third base worth going to jail for. Just something to think about.

Most guys are just about willing to go to the moon and back to hit a home-run, that is only if she allow him to.

myturnplz829 · Answer

That depends on what you went on the date in the first place.. If you both went in the date to just meet and fuck then so be it. But if you went on a date to get to know one another and see if you have more than lust in the air then you should take your time build a friendship and see where it goes but remember test the waters or you might end up in the friends zone and that's all it will ever be

MasterAetos · Answer

I've never been on one, haven't really actually tried to go on a date before. However, as old fashioned as I can get for the 21st century, I would take her home... Express that I had a wonderful time, ask her how it was and if she'd be interested in seeing me again. Depending on how things go, I'd give her a hug. Wouldn't go for a kiss until we've been dating at least a month. Of course, maybe her expectations would be different from my own. It turns out, dating is not easy.

Johvendi · Answer

As far as she wants to go. I'd go all the way unless I'm sure that I dont want a 2nd date and she's not madly in love with me. I'd be a proper *sshole if I'd knowingly sleep with someone that's in love with me without planning on seeing her again or at least being honest with her and letting her know that you're not romanticly interested in her and it would just be sex and nothing more.

thatguyfromtoronto · Answer

Honestly, probably hug. How can you be affectionate with someone you barely know? I know people who have raging hormones or estrogen in their system forces a person to be more passionate but just take things slow. Being a guy is tough by the way because it's easy to get a hard-on over a girl you really dig on the first date but gotta control those emotions.

Grimwaldo · Answer

Depends. If I see a real future with them than the most I'll do is a goodnight hug. MAYBE a kiss on the cheek/neck. But if there's no chance of a second date and they're hot as fuck I might screw them. Live with no regrets, right?

acridtaf · Answer

This may seem like an outdated view on dating but I, personally, feel that going all the way on the first date is kinda gross. I've done it, when younger, and it made me feel skeevy and unclean...

UptightLight · Answer

Nowhere. I'm formally going to get to know the person and enjoy the night. I don't give a fuck for the kiss she's expecting cause of our chemistry. I'm not there for sex. If it's a date it's to bond.

browneyes13 · Answer

I TRY not to go too far. But I have also had sex on the first date and we ended up dating for two years. Sometimes you just have a connection that you can’t avoid.

starstar18 · Answer

I would say just good conversation. If there is no connection I don’t stay. I will leave. If there is a connection then I stay and enjoy the conversation, then MAYBE. A hug. IF there is a connection, he BETTER walk me to my car.

MatthewJ42 · Answer

As far as possible. Life is short make the best of it when you can. No bases? Sure. First base? Why not? Second base? If its in the cards. Third base? Yeah not big into third base... Maybe skip third base... Home run? Only if its mutual.

skittles2017 · Answer

That's not very precise... a lot of things can happen or there are a lot of possibilities... plus... them most important thing is how is my date... how good / bad she is... that's a big difference of how far I can go / how far I wanna go / how far I get / how fast I wanna get out of there

streetmonkey · Answer

Depends. It went from nothing to sleeping with the guy right away.. and actually ending up in a serious relationship.

JulieXO · Answer

Depends on how well it goes and how long I’ve known the person for. I’ve slept with a guy in the first date before.

mackiewishbone · Answer

As far ass she is willing to go. I don’t have rules pertaining to sex when it comes to dating and just because a girl has sex with me on our first date it does not sway my opining in a negative way. I’m just happy she feels comfortable enough to get intimate with me.

Freelancer95 · Answer

So many guys pretending they're so conservative 😂 every single one of you would fuck her. Okay that might not be fair.. 80% of you would fuck her.

Personally, I'd fuck her! Obviously only if she was comfortable going that far and if I was actually still interested by the end of the date.

I'd hope if at least ended with a solid hug and a couple of gang signs at least though. 😂

McKellar · Answer

Well if its a little coffee date just to get to know the person,... just order a beverage, sit down with the person & talk about a few topics. That's like a small coffee date to get to know someone. Something like that shouldn't be hard nor is there any effort involved. Unless something is seriously wrong with the person then... pass.

annie616pop · Answer

I'll go as far as far as the nearest coffee bar or pancake house!

miirazee · Answer

1st date means getting to know each other so it’ll be nothing !

AmandaM1 · Answer

Depends on a lot of things. Best rule is not to give sex for a bit but... sometimes...

tooftoof · Answer

I mean... When I was younger, sex for sure, as an adult, a hug and or a kiss, it all depends on chemistry.

Fruties · Answer

Talking, and flirting only. It's the first date. I get uncomfortable. I'd rather get to know him first. Talk about the world, our past, and our dreams. Alcohol is alright. Helps me relax the nerves anyway

Prettygurl12 · Answer

On my first date with my now fiance, we had a pretty intense makeout session in my truck in my high school parking lot before we even went into the dance lol

arealgirl100 · Answer

The farthest I've gone is my most recent date where (before leaving) the guy put his on the small of my back. He said he wanted to kiss but I said no not yet. :)

Anonymous · Answer

i won’t do sex on the first date. kiss probably. not full blown make out tho. if that makes me prude oh well.

g_peresilva · Answer

I went with the flow which lead to making out a bit in the dark but if you feel uncomfortable doing something, don't let your mind or anyone as a matter of fact pressure you into doing it.

MaxPlum · Answer

Depends if you want a second date. In my experience you can either go all the way and keep it at a one time thing. Or you can take it slow and get a second date.

Miristheiss · Answer

Usually just a kiss good night, maybe a little hand holding. Once or twice there has been some heavier kissing. I wouldn't occur to me to try to and initiate sex with someone on a first date.

GeekyGirl16 · Answer

A hug—maybe a kiss on the cheek if we were friends for a while first.

Anonymous · Answer

Kisses on the cheek, and maybe a hug. That's if I'm really into them. Most of the time I just give a wink and say "Text me when you get home so I know you made it in safe, have a good one." I don't know I'm withdrawn lol

jarofawesome · Answer

Hug or kiss on the cheek if it went well. Maybe a bit more if I've known them for a few months or more but never sex on the first date.

Mesonfielde · Answer

Some people fuck, but it's more reasonable to just give two kisses on each cheek. Might be a custom here. It is like, the default greeting if at least one party is female.

ScottPrince · Answer

There's no limitation for me, I just go with the flow, but for the ones who wanna have sex on the first date, I personally wouldn't put much expertation on her either.

Fatboy98 · Answer

Think of me as Steve smith from American Dad, I can get the girl and go on dates. No matter how hard I try I can't get laid or a tongue kiss, and the girl never calls back or pretend she doesn't know me.

Bgurl2_0 · Answer

It depends how deep the connection is. If it isn't a deep connection, I may give a hug, but if it's a deep connection, I may go as far as making out. Depends on how deep the connection is.

ChipKip · Answer

We went to a nice restaurant , went looking for a specific type of ice cream rode around all over the city talking and sfuff , went to the center of the universe, kissed, rode around more took pictures downtown and and then had sex in the backseat under a bridge in a nice area all on the first date

mjgravey · Answer

Depends on the girl really if its an average everyday girl maybe a kiss if I truly like them a hug if it isn't going great but I'm attracted to them I'd be honest say you aren't really my type but you're beautiful would you like to be friends or maybe even friends with benefits. I'm an honest person. Right now I don't go on dates though I'm looking for friends and friends with benefits

szewczykkit · Answer

Mostly hand holding. If it goes really well, a kiss & maybe more making out if I invite her over. But if I really want to date her. I like to keep a limit.

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