I meet a guy. We start talking and hit it off great. We talk non stop for days or sometimes even weeks, and things seem great. Then all of the sudden, they stop texting back or just ignore me completely when I try to continue talking to them. This leaves me hella confused because before they would be interested in talking to me then they completely get cold towards me. This has happened so many times, that I’m surprised I still keep trying. So my question is why do guys do this? Or why would guys do this to me? Me in the pics👇🏾👇🏾
I have the same except with the first girl I ever feel in love with. She loved in Florida, I in Michigan. She would call me, text me, all the time. We talked for months and got to the stage of talking marriage and children (yes, long distance the whole time, never met face to face, and never even Skyped or video called). I still ended up falling for her. Thing was, she started talking less and less, then texting less and less, and finally just disappeared. I never heard from her again. I realize now I was probably catfished, but what can I say, I was young and in love. And it was also the first time I was ever truly in love (this was three years ago). And it was a girl hundreds of miles away, that I never even met face to face or even seen her face. Other than her most likely fake pictures on her profile...
My guess is you are talking to guys who like getting to know a girl, but then leave before any commitment or before it gets to serious. I hope it works out for you, those guys are idiots. They are fools for passing up a girl like you. So keep your chin up, and the right guy will come along. Believe me, he will
Because until you actually meet the guy in person and spend time in person its all just a game. You could just as easily spend weeks talking to a guy online and then ghost them. There is no penalty because you never actually met. The honest answer is if this happens a lot then guys are using you and your time as a game for their benefit.
Why would you want to invest all that time getting to know someone online if your intentions are romantic and you want to start a relationship with someone you connect with? I would imagine the better scenario is to communicate long enough to figure out if you have a few things in common and then agree to meet up in person. It should not take weeks of constant communication to plan a meet up.
I think it might be the quantity of time spent with each other. Guys like a little mystery and shyness and pull from the girl. If you want a guy to stay with you longer - don't talk to him non stop when you first start dating - maybe talk to him for a couple of hours a week and then slowly increase the time spent with each other over time. When you first start dating wear regular clothes and then slowly get more and more fancy. When he first comes to your house make him pop corn after a couple of months - you can make him a steak and lobster dinner and let the guy wonder if you are as interested in him as he is in you. Make him earn your attention by not doing all the talking but forcing him to initiate one in a while. Also if you vary between very loud and very quite - that is more attractive than being very loud or very quiet all the time.
For me the purposeful mystery would be a turn off. Being direct is much better for me but that's how I am so I kind of expect it. I don't play any of those games.
I would say it might depend on how much you initiate the texts/conversations. In the beginning they should be doing about 75%+ of the initiations. They love the chase. I hate playing games and believe in 50/50, but unfortunately the chase is part of the game. Could be he was doing this with other women too, and decided he had more chemistry with someone else. Maybe that was all he had, and could not keep up.
I've had this happen to me countless times before meeting my current boyfriend. I found that a common occurrence was that I didn't seem serious, or I was always flaking on replies due to my busy schedule. Also, those guys and I only shared things in common that most people have in common. The truth is though, this may not apply to your situation and you may never figure out what their deal is. It's best to move on. Any person who ghosts instead of have an adult conversation about why they've lost interest isn't worth this much time. They didn't take the time to explain things to you, don't take the time to attempt figuring it out. Forget them.
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(36-45)
+1 y
Would you consider a man is sexy solely based on his physical appearance, being totally ok, with only knowing how he looks, regardless of how good he looks? Would that be enough to jump in bed with him? No. It wouldn’t would it? You would test him, to see if he could give you a reason to do that wouldn’t you? It’s no different for guys. Yet, girls are so focus on looks, like it’s the only thing that matters, looking in the mirror, as if that is all that counts. So, what likely is happening are two things; one, you are trying to hard and reaching too far, guys, like girls, don’t want romance delivered and easy. It makes both girls and guys feel like, why try? (As shitty as that sounds it’s real) secondly, depending on the guys you may be attracted to, which likely are guys, still discovering things, still confused to be honest, you may relate to them and that may interest you. You have to be honest with yourself, what are you attracted to, and why? What do these guys have in common?
0
1 Reply
Opinion Owner
+1 y
Btw: you are cute and pretty which is why I’m writing that, you likely are not allowing them to chase you, as you could make that happen
It's certainly not how you look. Sounds like you have a broken man-finder and need it readjusted. I bet you're fun to talk to, sweet-natured, and don't bring up hardcore raunchy sex topics. That's why they ghost you. They are going for the easy prey.
Stick to your standards, and you will find quality. Quality is uncommon, so it will take more time.
I can assure you it has nothing to do with how you look; you're very good looking. I think you need to think back through the times this has happened; was something said? A specific topic, opinion, reaction, etc. Something has happened consistently within your dialogue with each of these guys that has changed their frame of mind.
I am guessing that @jennifer_bloom is onto the reason. I think you are overwhelming the guys. Slow down. Don’t try to cram so much in so quickly. Put more breaks in there so he does not feel that you have buried him. And it might give him an interest in a bit more chasing you on his part. He already has a life. Give him time to live it.
probably they were keeping several options of girls to "invest on", then they found someone they consider easier, prettier, or whatever, and then ghost the rest of the girls. if in a few months they try to reach out to you again, you'll know for certain that's the case.
Well you are not ugly or fat... So it has to be a personality clash. Are you clingy? Bitchy? Flirtatious? Born Again? Military? A slob? Or Stinky? Jealous type? Only want a baby daddy? There isn't a whole lot of info to put an exact finger on the pulse of your problem. Maybe you don't suck enough?
0
0 Reply
Anonymous
(25-29)
+1 y
Don’t be so available all the time for texting him , texting doesn’t always show if someone is interested on the other , you have to go out with him , and calling him ,, for me i will be bored if a guy texting me 24/7 and no things happened ,,,, or maybe just he’s not interested on you , for me I like to flirt so if I enjoy talking to someone, then maybe when I felt that he is starting to like me cuz he got me wrong and I’m not interested on him that much , I ran away or just bored
Do you see a pattern of things you might've said about yourself that leaves them to ghost you right after? Like for me when I was ghosted it was because I was actually serious in meeting, they found someone they deemed better, or they just wanted the attention
Im not sure of this, but by what you say it looks the friendzone fear. If you always go out with them, but never goes further, he would have gone with someone who does. After it, if he calls you, he would make it less fluently and to make things of friends, how many hobbies do you have in common with those guys?
If its off online, if a girl won't meet me after a little while, not even sex but just like get coffee or something, I think she's a flake and a time waster.
The longer you talk to a girl the less likely you will ever meet her. Good general rule from my experience.
A lot of guys think that women can be fooled into just linking up, or friends with benefits. That's all they want. Women are strong, don't think too much about it. You'll know when the right guy comes along. And all the other times will seem frivolous.
Looking at your pictures and question i can only guess. I'd say either your personality is driving them away, you talk to much and they can't get a word in the conversation, or you are a feminist in all the wrong ways
1
0 Reply
Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
It’s not just you. Guys these days are ghosting everyone because they don’t have the balls to admit when they have lost interest. I love your eye makeup btw! Congrats on graduating.
Just a thought... The guys you meet are looking for something easy that doesn't involve a lot of work. As they conclude that you are not that kind of person, they look elsewhere and don't have the courtesy to tell you.
Most Helpful Opinions