Got scared/uncertain after the first kiss?

[Anonymous]

I had my first kiss with the guy I've been dating for the last few weeks. I had never been kissed before and was kind of expecting it to feel great and be really special, but I didn't feel anything.

At the end of the night, I told him I just wanted to be friends right now, because I have a lot going on with school, which is true, but at the same time I'm still kind of interested.

It was also partially because he seemed to enjoy the kiss but I felt nothing, and I was scared that I would be leading him on. Is there a way I could talk to him about this without offending him? Or is it too late, since I said I have too much going on for a relationship right now. I don't want to hurt him.

[college_girl]

first kisses in general are often a little awkward. you have to get used to the other person's kissing style and they have to get used to yours. Because this was your first kiss ever, maybe you hyped it up too much and had unrealistic expectations of what a first kiss would be like. If you are still interested in this guy, I would suggest maybe trying out another kiss and see if you feel anything. If you still don't feel anything maybe there's no chemistry between you guys and you guys are better off as friends. When he flirts with you, hugs you, or lightly touches you in a non sexual way do you feel anything special, any physical connection? if you do maybe you should give it another shot because it seems like you're attracted to him and there's a connection. If you don't feel anything maybe you're not actually attracted to him even though he's a nice guy. Chemistry is everything and is needed. A guy could be attractive but if you feel like there's no chemistry between you guys then it won't work out.

Since you told him you wanted to be friends and aren't interested in a relationship because you are busy with school he probably won't try and pursue you anymore and probably took that as a sign you weren't interested in him. Plus he's probably getting mixed signals if you guys have been on a few dates and you said you didn't want a relationship. He probably feels like it'd be a waste of time to go on dates and not have it lead anywhere if you said you just wanted to be friends.

[Asker]

Thank you! This is helpful :-)...do you think it would be weird to contact him again soon since I just told him yesterday I only wanted to be friends? Is it strange to just say I'm not sure if I feel there is any chemistry, so can we try that kiss again? How would you recommend approaching him about this?

[college_girl]

i'd probably wait a few days and then text him. I think it's going to be hard to get him to go out with you again because you told him you just want to be friends. maybe you can suggest hanging out with him and see where it goes from there. you're most likely going to have to make the first move because of the whole "just friends" comment or you can try flirting with him (smiling, lightly touching him etc) to convey that you're still interested and want to give the kiss another shot

[digital_haze]

You definitely gotta take matters in to your own hands after making that comment. either tell him you didn't quite mean it. Or kiss him yourself.