After the first kiss, a question?

[Anonymous]

So I kissed a girl I like for the first time last night. It was our fourth date (I know it came kind of late). I don't know how it went over basically... She didn't text me after the date, and I was wondering if I should contact her right away. I haven't heard from her today either. I don't want to come off as needy and desperately searching for approval, but at the same time I was curious if she liked it. How should I approach this, and when should I get in touch with her. I haven't scheduled our next date yet, we only really have time to see one another once a week because of busy schedules.

Updates

+1 y

I was hoping she would be the first to initiate a text or conversation, since then I'd have some sort of idea where her head is at. She already knows I like her, since I went for the kiss.

[Anonymous]

You're totally right in not wanting to text her right away. No need to wait a week, but wait a couple of days. She might either be busy with Easter weekend or also not texting you because she thinks you will. Chat with her as you usually do ( do you usually text her "hey what's up?" randomly when you're not hanging out?) and then ask her out again when you guys have time and once the end of THAT date comes around, you can bring up the subject. I think there's a low chance that the kiss even if she didn't like it would totally break this off, so I wouldn't worry about it.

[Asker]

Yeah, I think I'll try to play it cool. What you described is how I normally approach her. I didn't want to be like, "thanks" or "what did you think of the kiss?" you know? No need to be insecure. But I was hoping I'd have a better indication at this point. The kiss was a little odd, very brief. First kiss jitters maybe. I'm just hoping I didn't freak her out. But after 4 dates I would of been kicking myself had I not went for it.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't think you should worry about the date number so much. Unless she seems like the type to judge stuff like that. I would be a little curious but quite OK if a guy decided to take his time. If anything, it makes you respectful, instead of trying to plant one on her the first date, which is just presumptive. Just pretend like the kiss went tooootally fine, and try again next time, this time take it nice and slow.

[Asker]

Good advice, thank you. I like her a lot and we have a blast together. Smiling and laughing nonstop. I don't think she would be the type to really care about the #. That's more of my insecurities. I just want her to know I like her more than just hanging out. I'm assuming she knows that. We've went out to dinner in which I have stressed on paying. Last date seemed to good to pass up on a kiss though. After it happened it left me with some questions however.

[Opinion Owner]

No prob! I've been in a similar situation. First date I ever went on was with a guy who was like 5 years older than me and I'd never kissed anyone. LET ME TELL you, that was short and awkward as hell. I freaked out that I screwed everything up and after a long time after, we got in touch again (he lived 2 hours away and drove up for the date) it turns out he was totally confused and felt guilty because he thought he forced me into it. It was just miscommunication, so you'll be OK :)

[Asker]

Yes well this girl is 5 years younger than me. It doesn't seem like it but yeah I like her. I guess I'll get in touch with her sometime tomorrow and see what's up. Thanks

[Anonymous]

I was in the same situation, but after our first kiss, the guy actually text me a little while after && let me know he had a good time, this helped take the awkwardness out of the situation for me because I was wondering what was going to happen now, and I didn't want to be the first to text him or anything because I wasn't sure what to say. I would say you contact her && tell her you had a good time with her on your last date && you guys should definitely do it again, if she agrees then you know it went over well. (:

[Asker]

Yes I just hope she doesn't feel pressured or something now like I'm going to become all controlling. I will definitely ask for another date. Hopefully she says yes. If not, there is my answer.

[Anonymous]

omg! Last night was my first kiss after dating for a while too. He sent me a text today just to tell me "have a good day" basically. He already told me last night that he had a good time and wanted to schedule another date. I really wanted to text him, but he told me he just wanted to be friends (guys are so weird) and I didn't want to seem needy or clingy. But for you, I wouldn't even ask her about the kiss. It doesn't matter. She let you kiss her. If she didn't want to or didn't enjoy it, she would have said something. Did you already schedule your next date?

OH and don't worry about the age thing...girls like older guys :)

[Asker]

No I didn't schedule the next date yet. When should I do this? The date would be either Friday or Saturday. Hopefully she is worried by my lack of communication too.

[Opinion Owner]

You should definitely text or call her like today just to say hello. I'd say ask mid-week what she's doing this weekend, since you said she has a busy schedule. This way she's like "why isn't he asking me out," but not "omg, I just saw him why won't he leave me alone?!" lol

[Asker]

It's all good, we hung out and studied. I feel much better. I asked her if we can see each other this weekend and she agreed.