Kissed another girl, in a long distance... when to tell?

StuartT
Hi everyone,

I have a problem that I created myself. I'm with my girlfriend since nearly one year, it is for me first really serious relationship plus the thing I think and hope I could spend my life with her, have kids. I really enjoy being with her, she is the best woman I met in my life, with great values that she follows. We've been together for couple of months before we got separated by really huge distance. I haven't seen her since then, we've been in contact and at the beginning it was all OK. Though some time ago I started feeling left out by her, not needed anymore. We've spoken about it couple of times but without any change, I still felt sad and down cause of no attention from her side. And here comes the thing. One night I went to the bar, was actually really bad day even there, cause my friends got busy and I was just standing by myself, didn't want to approach anybody cause it wasn't what I came to the bar for. But I got approached, then introduced to another girl. And basically after 5 minutes of stupid conversation we kissed. We have actually made out kissing long and in passionate way. I knew very well it is going to happened but I didn't stop myself, I kept kissing her. She was very attractive and told me all kind of stuff like I'm really cute, that she can't stop kissing me etc. Then she asked me to go out with her to another place, but I refused and got back home. The thing is I didn't even feel that bad just after it, until I got text from my girlfriend saying that she loves me... All the time I was kissing that other girl I was thinking about my girlfriend and how stupid thing I'm doing, but I didn't stop it. One of the reasons behind it was also that after our first date with my girlfriend I saw her kiss another guy. Later she told me it didn't mean anything to her, and that she didn't know I'm in love with her as I didn't tell her that. But what hurt me in that was that she didn't regret. I think she might have kissed that guy also later, when our relationship was really starting going on, but she claims she doesn't remember if she did. After we were talking about it but I felt it didn't really matter for her that much, and for example her kissing another girl in lips seems to be OK - but for me it is not. So I think all that more than anything, well plus this lack of attention made me do it

But I do regret it, I thought it would make me feel better but it only brought one more problem, where in fact the ones from past maybe have been already resolved, as it didn't repeat anymore after conversations we had. The questions is should I tell her what happened ? And knowing that we haven't seen each other for long time, soon I will meet her for short vacation, but then we will get separated again for a while. Should I tell her now, immediately through the phone, and risk she won't accept me to come. Should I tell just after I arrive and ruin the vacation, or tell after the vacation and make it look as it is all a lie?
Kissed another girl, in a long distance... when to tell?
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