If you fool around on a first date, do guys lose respect for you?

I went on a first date and he invited me to his place after hanging out for 3 hours. We ended up fooling around (oral/fingering-sorry if that's too much info..). We ended the night with possible plans for next weekend.

Do guys lose respect for a girl if she fools around on a first date or am I just overreacting here.

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Most Helpful Guys

  • Well as far as guys are concerned they won't mind fooling around or having sex on first date but it comes with its own cons. You do loose respect when you end up doing one of such stuff and end up been taken up granted. Most guys who end up sleeping on their first date never have a successful relationship with that partner coz no one wanna end up being used or being a sex toy for a stranger or even worst in some cases if guy is from same school or college their bragging makes you a point of interest for talks in a bad sense. Since you are mature and adult it was your personal decision so no one has authourity to question your decision but see normally girls don't go on a guys room/house for first date even when the guy is familiar, they prefer a public place. Every girl has a date rule which maybe be anything from 3-8 depending upon their personal choice. They mostly don't find themselves comfortable getting physical with someone they are just in knowing phase. Rest it's your life and your choices, so no one can tell you what to do.
    Good luck

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  • It's kind of ironic, since some guys desperately want girls to fuck them on the first date, yet they judge them for it.

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Most Helpful Girls

  • Yes. They see you as "the whore," or "the girl was the easy fuck." You go from girlfriend material to fuck-only material, fast.

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    • Wait what?, lol no. If he likes her and she feels the same way. i dont see any problems it came to a physical encounter

  • Some guys don’t, because they want to keep you around for more rounds and continue what you’ve already started and tempted them with.
    Some guys do, they’ll ghost you or give you the hot and cold behavior while disappearing soon enough.

    He’s probably comfortable inviting you back to his place because you’re probably not the first girl you took to his house that he wanted to make a move on. The cycle continues till he comes across a female that tells him “No” than he’ll either stick around and figure what’s so different about her or continue the same cycle.

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    • A guy inviting you to is place after a date already shows you had no respect for you in the first place whether he invited you to his and whatever happened or not. His character speaks loud and clear about his intentions and it was basically to get in your pants.

      I’m not saying all guys who wait may not have the intention of sex but that guy couldn’t care less of waiting he wanted to get it over with. The first date? Not even a month? Of course something is wrong and by the question you asked I’m sure you caught onto it as well. He’s playing you boo.

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    • i knew about this girl through a mutual friend. i didn't know her though only what our mutual friends said about her. She's fresh out of a divorce (not even sure if the divorce is final) the guy isn't living with her anymore though. she's also got a kind from a previous. guy so she has a knack for choosing the wrong guy. She invited me back to her place. I felt it was too early/ inappropriate. I like her, but slow down. Anyways she got with another guy. Not sure if i did the right thing or not. my doing what i feel is the right thing always seems to cost me.

    • got a kid* from a previous guy i meant to say.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 80

  • I am ashamed to admit this is a recent thing for me.. I went on a date, and it went well, we were heading to the train and shared a few kisses, and that's great, but we stopped in a park to just chill and cuddle, and to be frank she thought it was appropriate to unzip my trousers and stroke my... Now if it was a girlfriend, that would be great, but this was a first date, and while initially I liked her, I didn't like the fact she was so willing in that department, it actually came off as rather desperate and I am a bit out off by it.. and to be honest, most of the time I'm always being a bit I appropriate myself (only a tiny bit on a cheeky level), And i sometimes feel I am on the receiving end of how I am currently feeling. The sad fact is, I can't help how I feel, and I guess they can't ether, shame because it's always the nice people who either act like this with me, or me act like this with them, I am not desperate, and I'm sure they aren't too, but that's I guess how it comes off when someone does things like that so fast.

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  • My opinion we respect women that go for what they want in all situations and if they lose respect for you because you were enjoying yourself and doing what you want to do that person is not for you

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  • Fooling around doesn't change anything. If he respects you, not much you do will change that.

    It also depends on the guy. I for one, accept that girls like to have fun too, so i wouldn't judge you for doing that. But not everyone thinks that way. There are lots of men out there who would consider you a sl*t for doing something like that.

    I wouldn't worry about it.

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  • No. Not necessarily. Depends on. the guy. If he looks like a player, you might want to go slower. That won't keep him, but it will reveal his true intentions.
    If he DOESN'T look like a player, and you feel that he isn't pushing you too hard, you can make out, foreplay, sex, whatever you feel like. I don't think guys shame girls who go to bed on the first date. They shame girls who go to be on their first 40 first dates (meaning they aren't loyal or reliable).

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    • Generally guys want a nice girl outside who is a slut in the bedroom.

  • To be honest, yes. I'd lose respect because the first date is meant for the two people to first get to know each other. If you fool around with someone you barely know, then I would think that you set your standards too low and treat your body like a free-for-all. But I think the same way of guys who do it too.

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  • That depends heavily on the guy and his morals and openness. I think its hypocritical of a guy to lose respect for a girl on the first this if he is the one that initiates it.

    If i really like a girl and she's compatible enough for me to want to be in a serious relationship with, sex isn't going to make me think differently of her. I'll liikely know by the end of the date if we are compatible. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting to have sex on the first date in my opinion.

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  • Depends on the intent... If you both truly have strong feelings and you both feel it's right... have fun he'll still be there for you if his intent is booty call on demand then he never had respect for you...

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  • It depends. If you are a virgin, or you make all men you date wait. Then I would look favorably on you and be more interested in seriously dating you.

    If you fool around regularly on the first date or have been with a lot of guys, if you don't put out on the first date I would never call you back. And even if you did, I wouldn't be interested in something serious but I would probably be interested in casually dating you.

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  • It's how you present yourself over the span of dating, but you're an adult, there's no shame in knowing what you want.

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    • Why do I got thumbs up from females but some random guy doesn't like it.

  • If it's dating me then yes, especialy because dating me was a virgin.
    However normal me, baptised into sex now? Nah, I'd probably be thinking about that freaky sexy chick for the rest of the week.

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  • You are overreacting. Some may, but you don't want those guys anyway so it's no loss. You don't want to date a misogynistic asshole.

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  • doesn't matter to me. i've done sexual things on the night of first dates too because we were both horny AF since neither of us has been laid for months and i didn't lose respect for them either

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  • I feel every guy varies. But me personally, it would be a sign that it went well. I would be exstatic if a girl let me finger her on a first date. Just don't let it get to physical, to fast. It could hurt your relationship.

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  • I sure would. Those girls are only good for screwing then dumping. That's about it. Anything longer term than a short lust fling is sort of out of the question for me.

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    • Exactly. Why do they think we’d stick around if they don’t take themselves seriously. Girls who don’t value themselves can’t expect to be valued by others. These are the girls who get used for sex and then they complain about everything.

  • I have had dates do nothing and others that ended with fun, usually the ones where we fool around a little ended up going out with more and actually having a relationship. I didn't loose any respect for them either way, just took it as they were intrested and pursued a follow up date with them sooner.

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  • Depends on the guy. I would because I'm not looking for a fuck buddy I'm looking for a relationship but other guys probably wouldn't care

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  • Generally I would say no, but it depends on how the night was before and after. If there is a strong connection during the date, then no way would I lose respect for the other person. However if it was only kinda mediocre, then definitely, as it just comes off as being easy.

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  • Yes. That just means you’re a “pump and dump” slut. No self respecting man wants to have it that easy. Of course, most of us won’t reject you, but we won’t want to have a serious relationship with you.

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  • Yes it does.. well for me I'd like it to be 2 weeks before anything happens. Compatibility is more important than sex... Some guys do that and just don't call the girl after that but I like to respect girls

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  • I don't lose respect for women on a date who fool around doesn't it just mean that they are nervous and normally the second date goes better I like acting silly around women it shows my soppy sensitive side

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  • I, wouldn't say so. Depends on how much chemistry there is. Maybe he just really likes you, and felt he had to make a move or lose you? Talk to him. Find out how he feels.

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  • Overreacting. We don't lose respect. You were just going with the flow of the evening and engaging in what was pleasurable to you both at the time.

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  • Yes more like both men and women lose respect not just ladies. Why are women the ones under the microscope

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  • I dig a girl who is honest with how she feels and chooses to express herself however she is comfortable.

    If we are into each other and she wants to fool around then I respect the fact that she knows who she is and what she wants.

    You want something go after it. i like a bold nature in my woman.

    Any insecurities if any is not about her but about me.

    In short I respect her once she is honest with herself, and I won’t or don’t lose respect for her if she chooses tofool around.

    LIfe is short, live.

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  • i never done that before, and never will, but if a woman wants to do it with me, i would dump her right at that moment

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  • Overreacting, just dont let other guys know you usually get your pussy out on a first date.

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  • It depends on the guy. It doesn't change a thing for me. I still respect her just as much.

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  • I personally would have not fooled around with you on the first date however I wouldn't shun you for trying and if everything else went good would be looking forward to our next date

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  • I would be more into a girl as a person than ever even thinking remotely about fooling around.

    that just no, be nice, respectful, and just have a swell time, simple.

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  • Well if he sees you with another guy the immediate thought it. "Well she's out here racking up her body count, easy for everyone. I'm not special."

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What Girls Said 28

  • That one totally depends on the guy.

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  • Well we at least know what he is interested in for sure - sex. Well, if she fools around on the first date lets multiply that by the number of dates... But as long as you put out he will stick around, at least until he gets a better offer on the table.

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  • Yes no doubt it doesn't matter if you think no the guy won't lose respect for you he will from that point on.
    I would wonder what's the guy thinking after the first date, I'm sure he'd think how many other guys been there before him, whatever respect was to be gained takes a hit starting with the first date, once it's done you can't change it and it will never go away.

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  • It takes two to tango so he shouldn’t lose respect for me if I sleep with him on a first date because without his cooperation there wouldn’t have been sex in the first place !

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  • Whether you like it or not but most guys will lose respect, either directly or subconsciously. Only those who have a hard time getting a girl close to them because of insecurities, anxiety and shit, might not.

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  • Pretty much. I’ve done the same as you. Apparently it’s alrigjt for guys to do but not girls.

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  • Nope, never. I wouldn’t even entertain the idea. The moment that person wants to fool around, I’d leave.

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  • If a guy wanted to "fool around" with me on the first date, I'd leave and there'll be no second date. I'd just lose respect for him. Some guys are probably this way as well.

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  • If a guy never calls you again after being sexual on the first date, then he was going to do it anyway. If a guy really likes you, being sexual early on won’t make him run away.

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  • Only if you’re with the wrong guy, I wouldn’t worry too much about it.

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  • When I'm dating someone new, he has to wait 60 days before we have any type of sexual contact.
    Yes, men do lose respect for you

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  • It depends on the situation but I don't think that even having sex on the first date would make him loose respect.

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  • I believe they do even if they date you for years after. They always think she slept with me the first night bluh

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  • Depends on the guy. He probably will. He probably won't. Sex on the first date makes you seem easy. But if the both of you were going for the whole just sexually relations thing then that is okay.

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  • I lose respect for a woman who tries to get me into bed to me makes me think she only after one thing that sex I got have trust her and love her fully before I go that far.

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  • If he's the was the right kind of guy for u that wouldn't have even happened on the first date.

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  • I would say That's for me way to early but I'm not Standard per se.

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  • It depends not on your acts but how you act

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  • Sometimes. But they shouldn't.

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  • Really?
    I would loose respect
    Let alone guys

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  • Some do, depends on the guy.

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  • If he rejects your advances.

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  • Yea u seem easy to men

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  • No they don't

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  • Ask the guy. we dont know ok

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  • I fooled around on the first date with my first boyfriend. Your a grown ass woman

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  • I’ve done the same thing. I’ll message you to talk about it. I feel like he lost respect for me... even though he claimed everything was fine. MEN LIE. That’s literally all we need to know about men.

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    • That's just the type of men that you date, lok

    • @Anton86 I think it’s my entire generation

  • Nope

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