Why does my boyfriend judge me on my sexual past?

[Anonymous]

For one, has been with A LOT more people than me. Probably half of the girls he’s been with have been one-night stands he’s met at bars/parties. Also, from the way he’s described the girls he’s liked/had sex with, they all seem ratchet to me. I am very surprised he is dating someone like me. I am nothing like those past women. However. My boyfriend gets upset about my sexual past, and the fact i once experimented with a female friends. He’s told me “I’m not used to girls doing that stuff. Growing up i never heard of it”. But, he’s used to girls having one-night stands, drinking tons and doing Drugs? And he’s had sex with so many people. I never judged him until I’ve seen he judges me for mine. I don’t think it’s fair !

[loveslongnails]

Not only isn't it "fair", it's a RED FLAG about the size of a small country, sweetheart. If he's like this now, it's not going to change. I'd take the first bus out of THAT relationship and find yourself someone who isn't a hypocritical prick.

[Asker]

It made me feel terrible when he mistook a female friend we hungout with, for the girl o experimented with! He told me “i figured if you can do stuff with a girl. What else will you do?” Like what?

[loveslongnails]

This guy is twisted. It's perfectly fine for him to have fucked as many one nighters because "that's normal guy shit", but you... omg, you're queer !! You liked playing with a girls body! Well guess what, buddy... so do you! And why not? Girls have awesome bodies, they know how to satisfy one another BETTER than you do too. So why not? As I said, this guy is a close minded ass, and I'd vacate the relationship ASAP.

[GreatnessBack]

Some guys don't like the fact that their girl has had multiple partners before them.
Other guys don't care, as long as she's clean.

[Justacatlady]

Seems like he might feel insecure about it. I'd ask to talk to him about it and tell him how it makes you feel when he says those things about you. Everyone has a past and that doesn't make you a bad person.

[5yrup]

why do couples tell each other about their sexual history lmao seems like a counterproductive effort, it just evokes jealousy and judgement

[tzdc21]

Let me explain the four big reasons why it matters to a man when dealing with a woman. Buckle up, this is gonna take a while.

1) Men and Women are both biologically hardwired to be attracted and disgusted by certain things. It just so happens that one of the things we guys are instinctively disgusted by are promiscuous women as our girlfriend and/or wife. That's just our nature, just like how it's in a woman's nature to look for a man who can provide and protect. Now when it comes to just sex, they won't care, but a committed relationship is a whole different ballpark.

2) Stats show that the higher a woman's body count, the more likely she will initiate breakups and divorces. AND it's more likely she will have mental problems down the long run. You lose your ability to pair bond with every new sexual partner you have, and that's what helps relationships work through tough times... or in general.

3) When you (a woman) are in a relationship with a man, you are becoming a representation of that man, whether you know it or not. That means that what you say or do is gonna affect him to. So therefore, if you're a hoe, or you say or do some crazy and stupid stuff, not only are you putting yourself in a bad light, but you're putting your boyfriend/husband in a bad light. Because everyone is gonna be like, "This crazy girl is his?" or "This hoe is who he is taking seriously?" That is embarrassing for any man, even if he won't admit it to others or himself.

4) THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT REASON. There is a reason why since the dawn of time, men have demanded that the women they take seriously are virgins. Not all guys nowadays want virgins now, but still want lower body counts from the woman they take seriously. And the reason why is because they want to ensure paternity. I assume I would be correct if I were to say that a deep dark fear for a lot of women is being r@ped in a dark alley by some creep. That deep feeling of fear that you get, the male equivalent to that, is when he busts his ass, investing his blood, sweat, and tears into raising a child, and then finding out one day that the kid was never his. That's why guys have an issue with taking promiscuous women seriously. Because if you take a promiscuous woman seriously, and she gets pregnant, there's a good chance that child may not be yours.

And it's easier for you to get laid then it is for him. You could walk into a bar with a bullhorn and say that you're horny and many guys will come over. A guy does that, he's going to jail. Big difference.

[Anon-ymous1]

Because no guy that actually really likes and cares for his girl wants her to have been fucked by lots of guys in the past. Period. It's just that simple. We want OUR sexual interactions with her to be actually special, and logically we feel like, how could they be special if she's been dicked or sucked a bunch of other guys? We just feel like one more in a row.

[Asker]

HOW can my experiences out him be special if he’s fucked TONS of women? He’s more upset that I had experimented with a girl, anyways.

[Anon-ymous1]

Because per evolutionary biology, guys are *supposed* to have sex with more females. That's how it works. There's no overriding hundreds of thousands of years of the inherent animalistic nature of sexuality just because now some people don't like it.

[Asker]

Nah. It’s hypocritical. I think men should grow up. Stop acting like children because you aren’t the first in everything. And anyways, when will you make note that the majority of his insecurity stems from the FACT that I had a sexual experience with a female friend before I even knew my current boyfriend.

[Anon-ymous1]

Mkay whatever you say. The point is, you asked the question, and I gave you the truthful answer. You can shout at your keyboard or the sky outside if you want to, and if it'll make you feel better or something-- none of that makes what I said any less true. If you don't like the truth of it, fair enough. No one can make you.

[Asker]

Lmao, so it’s the same for their woman being with another woman?

I am sorry you are too insecure. I hope you get over that.

[Anon-ymous1]

I am? About what? And to answer that last question, I do personally find it odd that a guy would be annoyed about his girl trying other girls instead of just getting dicked by lots of guys-- usually it's only the second thing that bothers us. But I guess your dude is just a little weird.